What's new
Fantasy Football - Footballguys Forums

This is a sample guest message. Register a free account today to become a member! Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox!

GM's thread about nothing (49 Viewers)

rabidfireweasel said:
My daughter has just started playing youth football. 21 boys and her. Normally, she holds her own fairly well. Today they were doing kickoff coverage and she got de- cleated on a blind side block. Tough to watch as a. Dad. However, she bounced right back up, as she is tough as nails.

I have a bunch of mixed feelings. I don't like the whole concussion side, nor do I like that despite it only being 3rd and 4th graders, many boys are bigger and faster. However, I don't like telling her she can't do things because she is a girl. They world will tell her " no" about a whole bunch of things soon enough. So, she is playing for now. On the plus side, the coaches and boys have been awesome. About half df them started chanting her name where she crushed a kid in the meatgrinder drills.
Click to expand...
:thumbup:

 
Tiger Fan said:
cosjobs said:
Tiger Fan said:
For those watching this game...please understand what it's like being the 2nd most talented team in the country for the past 10ish years but being coached by a complete buffoon
Click to expand...
If you want to lose that sig now, I'll never mention it again. If not, I expect full disclosure all season.
Click to expand...
lol. I will update it after today. got a nice spreadsheet to keep track and everyhting
Click to expand...
A nice spreadsheet and everything? Impressive.

 
Good Posting Judge said:
Pretty sure there are a few people left who haven't checked in with easily findable information regarding their alma mater/college of choice and how they fared in their "football" contest this weekend. Please check in ASAP.
Click to expand...
I went to the NAU@AZ game Friday. UA Wildcats look awesome!!!!!! Nice new field and stadium improvements as well.

 
Pretty sure our house got struck by lightning yesterday. So loud it scared the #### out of me. Not only did I have to run out to Lowes and replace a breaker, but the following do not work any more:

Garage door opener

Two Directv DVR receivers. The one in the office still works, but is making a high-pitched noise constantly.

The water/ice dispenser panel on our fridge.

The DSL modem.

Not sure what to do about the garage door opener. It's still getting power, just not working. The diagnostic light indicates I need to replace the logic board. This will probably be about $75 and I'm sure I can get an entire new system for $130. I read some stuff on the webs that for some people replacing the logic board didn't completely solve the problem.

Also, this stuff won't amount to enough to file a homeowner's claim, but I think I should have someone come out and inspect the wiring. Should I do this through insurance?

Been a hell of a week.

 
Last edited by a moderator:
Some ####er stole my bike off of my patio either last night or today. My son insists that he saw it early this morning on the patio so it might have even happened while I was at home this morning and the blinds were closed. God I wish I could have caught the SOB in the act.

 
Damn, shuke - that sucks. HO insurance blows. My ex and I went through an awful experience when the remnants of a hurricane came through. A tree from our property came down on a neighbor's car; a car up on blocks and wasn't worth two of my toenail cuttings. Being the ##### he was, the neighbor wanted "compensation" for his "classic" car ("classic" = "rusted-out piece of ####"). We went to our HO insurance, which we had never used. They would pay, but threatened to cancel afterwards. This wasn't a small insurance company - was one of the biggest national brands. We ended up paying out of pocket.

Red, that sucks too. Ain't even the merchandise so much, but the fact that he/she/they were there when you were.

 
Damn Shuke, that sucks. :(

Frosty, good on ya mate. You're good people :thumbup:

That sucks Red, hope you find the *******

 
Last edited by a moderator:
T Bell said:
Some ####er stole my bike off of my patio either last night or today. My son insists that he saw it early this morning on the patio so it might have even happened while I was at home this morning and the blinds were closed. God I wish I could have caught the SOB in the act.
Click to expand...
Hang him

 
I bought a Trek 1.5. It's really sweet. I only have 120 miles on it, but I'm pretty much addicted to riding now. My only complaint is having pump up these tires every time out. These presta valves are obnoxious.

 
Mr. Pickles said:
I bought a Trek 1.5. It's really sweet. I only have 120 miles on it, but I'm pretty much addicted to riding now. My only complaint is having pump up these tires every time out. These presta valves are obnoxious.
Click to expand...
Sorry to hear about all your troubles inflating tires

 
Either getting laid or getting in fight. I love bars. won't get laulaid or fight. But fun times. I love Homer and most of you.

 
If anyone read the saga about my friend Jim and his marriage breaking up...

The good news is that he's moving into my brother's house tomorrow.

I've been texting Jim over the last couple of days and the guy really needs to get out of his house. When my brother called him and told him he could move it Jim texted me right away. I've honestly never seen anyone so excited to get kicked out of his house.

 
Gadzooks said:
Either getting laid or getting in fight. I love bars. won't get laulaid or fight. But fun times. I love Homer and most of you.
Click to expand...
I hear you broshambeau.

I learned a good trick many years ago. Just go home and punch your cauk until you faint from the pain. This will save you many mornings of regret.

-- Martin Luther Menken

 
Officer Pete Malloy said:
If anyone read the saga about my friend Jim and his marriage breaking up...

The good news is that he's moving into my brother's house tomorrow.

I've been texting Jim over the last couple of days and the guy really needs to get out of his house. When my brother called him and told him he could move it Jim texted me right away. I've honestly never seen anyone so excited to get kicked out of his house.
Click to expand...
Been there. Poor *******.

 
Officer Pete Malloy said:
So tonight towards the end of my almost nightly 4 mile walk (aka The SLB Mini-Marathon to Find the Cure for Headvaginitus) I have to cross one of the busiest intersections in town.

The northwest corner of this intersection is a clearinghouse for protesters and sign wavers. This is the it. Home to Priest: The dancing cowboy/Little Cesar's Shiller. (personally I would rather see Cowboy: The Dancing Priest). Usually there are a couple of other sign-wavers pimping pay-day loans, tax services etc. There's even a guy that holds a sign for a locally owned pizza place too. It's cool though. He and Priest seem to have become friends. That makes me happy.

Anyway...tonight is Hippy Night on the corner. About once every 2 weeks a flock of about 10-20 hippies stand on the corner with crappy, handmade signs calling for peace and/or extolling the virtues of marijuana. By the time I hit the intersection there's only about 4 or 5 die-hards left.

Now don't get me wrong. I actually love seeing people on that corner protesting or promoting or whatever. I don't care if I agree with what you're saying. I'll honk dammit. Keep that First Amendment alive and well, my friends. Although on the opposite corner there's this really scary looking anti-abortion lady that shows up about once a month. She likes to set up posters of dead babies and such. F her.

But I digress...

There were two youngish dudes that look like they're about to audition for the one man show featuring the wit and wisdom of Shannon Hoon. Then there's a zaftig girl sitting on the grass lettering out a sign that says "Don't Burn a Flag...Burn a Fatty". Which is both ironic and totally confusing. And then there's a guy in his 50s with a nicely braided, grey ponytail.

As I walk by Ponytail says, with a slight drawl, "how y'all doin'?" I almost answered "Damon?" (to be fair I'm pretty the drawl was much more Okie than Texan but whatever).

Ponytail is holding a sign that says 'YES WE CAN-I-BUS' (I wish I was making this up), and yelling out to the passing cars, "IT'S JUST A PLANT, HELLO?!?". And somehow his drawl is gone and now sounds like a Jewish comedian at Caroline's circa 1998.

So I'm waiting for the light to change while all this is happening. The little green walking guy shows up on the lighty thing and I step into the crosswalk. Before I can even take a step this guy in a very nice Mercedes almost runs into me on his way to a making a right hand turn.

He stops. I stop. I give him the international sign for "oh, go ahead. By all means." I actually did want him to go since it is obvious that I cannot trust his judgement and now fear walking in front of his car. He starts to go but then slams on the brakes.

Now he's suddenly got a case of the good citizenships and is waiting for me. Again I motion for him to "just F-ing go since you've already raped my crosswalk".

It's somewhere about the time he slams on the brakes when my new friends, the hippies, decide to join in.

One of the guys from Blind Melon/Kyuss tribute band yells out "SLOW DOWN, YOU FASCIST!"

Ponytail joins in with "NICE NAZI CAR, YOU JERK!"

Mr. Benz looks at me like I'm the one yelling at him and floors it down Stockdale Highway pretty much running the redlight at the intersection of Carl's Jr and Post Office.

FIN
Click to expand...
I was expecting this to end with "I was just trying to go pee!".

 
Frostillicus said:
St. Louis Bob said:
Officer Pete Malloy said:
Seriously, props to D-Man for wearing the Union hat. That's a winner's hat.
Click to expand...
Who knows why he decided to wear it. The kid is so funny. Mrs. SLB wanted to make him take it off, I put the kabosh on that. You stymie cool you dumb #####.

This is how he just got off the bus. It's called a crazy hat.
Click to expand...
That kitchen gives me a boner every time.
Click to expand...
Really glad this reads "kitchen" & and "son".

 
Mrs. SLB and myself, and some GB's were at the casino Saturday night. Wife and I slayed them at blackjack. Mrs. SLB leave to be a responsible parent and I went and found a new table. There was this old gal sitting next to me and she was very pretty. Being extremely drunk and high, I decided that I should tell her as much. She leans in and whispers in my ear "I'm old enough to be your grandmother". Then she rubbed my thigh as she slowly back away, her hot breath on my neck. Pretty sure I made her wet.

I need to stop drinking.

 
Abraham said:
Bentley draft crisis averted. Our hero worked through it with me via text message after Damon's effort to use google hangout failed. All in all my team is pretty good considering.

Stafford / russel Wilson

Forte / Lamar miller / mendebhall / matthews

Vjax / jordy / shorts / Britt / thompkins.

Gronk.

Looking good :thumbup:
Click to expand...
24 teamer?
 
St. Louis Bob said:
Mrs. SLB and myself, and some GB's were at the casino Saturday night. Wife and I slayed them at blackjack. Mrs. SLB leave to be a responsible parent and I went and found a new table. There was this old gal sitting next to me and she was very pretty. Being extremely drunk and high, I decided that I should tell her as much. She leans in and whispers in my ear "I'm old enough to be your grandmother". Then she rubbed my thigh as she slowly back away, her hot breath on my neck. Pretty sure I made her wet.

I need to stop drinking.
Click to expand...
:puke:

 
St. Louis Bob said:
Mrs. SLB and myself, and some GB's were at the casino Saturday night. Wife and I slayed them at blackjack. Mrs. SLB leave to be a responsible parent and I went and found a new table. There was this old gal sitting next to me and she was very pretty. Being extremely drunk and high, I decided that I should tell her as much. She leans in and whispers in my ear "I'm old enough to be your grandmother". Then she rubbed my thigh as she slowly back away, her hot breath on my neck. Pretty sure I made her wet.

I need to stop drinking.
Click to expand...
Grandson fetish shtick?

 
T Bell said:
St. Louis Bob said:
Mrs. SLB and myself, and some GB's were at the casino Saturday night. Wife and I slayed them at blackjack. Mrs. SLB leave to be a responsible parent and I went and found a new table. There was this old gal sitting next to me and she was very pretty. Being extremely drunk and high, I decided that I should tell her as much. She leans in and whispers in my ear "I'm old enough to be your grandmother". Then she rubbed my thigh as she slowly back away, her hot breath on my neck. Pretty sure I made her wet.

I need to stop drinking.
Click to expand...
Grandson fetish shtick?
Click to expand...
:lmao: I don't know man. When I'm wasted and winning a bunch of money, I get all honest and stuff. I bet she was smoking hot about 40 years ago.

ETA

Zooks would have banged her. No doubt in my mind.

 
Last edited by a moderator:
Drifter said:
General Malaise said:
Jeez, they aren't even televising the Colorado/Colorado St game here. How the mediocre have fallen...
Click to expand...
Was on cbs' sports channel nationally televised
Click to expand...
Yeah, I figured that out eventually. But when I got my Sports Section from my trusty newspaper, it wasn't listed there. Of course, our newspaper (like so many around the US) is dying faster than a wart on Gadzook's scrotum. I suppose CBS Sports Channel is too new or weird to list... :shrug:

 
St. Louis Bob said:
T Bell said:
St. Louis Bob said:
Mrs. SLB and myself, and some GB's were at the casino Saturday night. Wife and I slayed them at blackjack. Mrs. SLB leave to be a responsible parent and I went and found a new table. There was this old gal sitting next to me and she was very pretty. Being extremely drunk and high, I decided that I should tell her as much. She leans in and whispers in my ear "I'm old enough to be your grandmother". Then she rubbed my thigh as she slowly back away, her hot breath on my neck. Pretty sure I made her wet.

I need to stop drinking.
Click to expand...
Grandson fetish shtick?
Click to expand...
:lmao: I don't know man. When I'm wasted and winning a bunch of money, I get all honest and stuff. I bet she was smoking hot about 40 years ago.

ETA

Zooks would have banged her. No doubt in my mind.
Click to expand...
Upskirt pic?

 
Notorious T.R.E. said:
St. Louis Bob said:
Mrs. SLB and myself, and some GB's were at the casino Saturday night. Wife and I slayed them at blackjack. Mrs. SLB leave to be a responsible parent and I went and found a new table. There was this old gal sitting next to me and she was very pretty. Being extremely drunk and high, I decided that I should tell her as much. She leans in and whispers in my ear "I'm old enough to be your grandmother". Then she rubbed my thigh as she slowly back away, her hot breath on my neck. Pretty sure I made her wet.

I need to stop drinking.
Click to expand...
:puke:
Click to expand...
:lmao: :lmao: Yeah

 
T Bell said:
St. Louis Bob said:
T Bell said:
St. Louis Bob said:
Mrs. SLB and myself, and some GB's were at the casino Saturday night. Wife and I slayed them at blackjack. Mrs. SLB leave to be a responsible parent and I went and found a new table. There was this old gal sitting next to me and she was very pretty. Being extremely drunk and high, I decided that I should tell her as much. She leans in and whispers in my ear "I'm old enough to be your grandmother". Then she rubbed my thigh as she slowly back away, her hot breath on my neck. Pretty sure I made her wet.

I need to stop drinking.
Click to expand...
Grandson fetish shtick?
Click to expand...
:lmao: I don't know man. When I'm wasted and winning a bunch of money, I get all honest and stuff. I bet she was smoking hot about 40 years ago.

ETA

Zooks would have banged her. No doubt in my mind.
Click to expand...
Upskirt pic?
Click to expand...
:lmao: :lmao: :lmao:

 
We set up our tents in the backyard on Friday and the boys had friends over for sleepovers both Friday night and last night. Keeping their stink contained to a tent was a stroke of genius. Last time Cooper had a slumber party (this summer) the house smelled like adolescent socks for a week. Anyhow, I've been tethered to the house most of the weekend playing dad and good husband of a wife who celebrated her birthday on Saturday but today....today I'm Feckless Forrest, going to the horse track to puke up money and suck down cheap beers.

Also, absent Netflix, I used something called "ON DEMAND" and forced the four boys to watch "Arachnaphobia" last night before marching them into their tents. I'd never seen it before, so I watched it with them. Kind of funny to watch Jeff Daniels in non-Newsroom roles. Dude looks exactly the same. He hasn't aged a bit. Anyhow, the boys enjoyed it and I made sure they checked their sleeping bags before climbing in last night. And of course, about 30 minutes after settling them in, I circled back and scared the poop out of them. :bowtie:

 
General Malaise said:
We set up our tents in the backyard on Friday and the boys had friends over for sleepovers both Friday night and last night. Keeping their stink contained to a tent was a stroke of genius. Last time Cooper had a slumber party (this summer) the house smelled like adolescent socks for a week. Anyhow, I've been tethered to the house most of the weekend playing dad and good husband of a wife who celebrated her birthday on Saturday but today....today I'm Feckless Forrest, going to the horse track to puke up money and suck down cheap beers.

Also, absent Netflix, I used something called "ON DEMAND" and forced the four boys to watch "Arachnaphobia" last night before marching them into their tents. I'd never seen it before, so I watched it with them. Kind of funny to watch Jeff Daniels in non-Newsroom roles. Dude looks exactly the same. He hasn't aged a bit. Anyhow, the boys enjoyed it and I made sure they checked their sleeping bags before climbing in last night. And of course, about 30 minutes after settling them in, I circled back and scared the poop out of them. :bowtie:
Click to expand...
you know you have to pay $17 each for ON DEMAND movies, right?

 
cosjobs said:
General Malaise said:
We set up our tents in the backyard on Friday and the boys had friends over for sleepovers both Friday night and last night. Keeping their stink contained to a tent was a stroke of genius. Last time Cooper had a slumber party (this summer) the house smelled like adolescent socks for a week. Anyhow, I've been tethered to the house most of the weekend playing dad and good husband of a wife who celebrated her birthday on Saturday but today....today I'm Feckless Forrest, going to the horse track to puke up money and suck down cheap beers.

Also, absent Netflix, I used something called "ON DEMAND" and forced the four boys to watch "Arachnaphobia" last night before marching them into their tents. I'd never seen it before, so I watched it with them. Kind of funny to watch Jeff Daniels in non-Newsroom roles. Dude looks exactly the same. He hasn't aged a bit. Anyhow, the boys enjoyed it and I made sure they checked their sleeping bags before climbing in last night. And of course, about 30 minutes after settling them in, I circled back and scared the poop out of them. :bowtie:
Click to expand...
you know you have to pay $17 each for ON DEMAND movies, right?
Click to expand...
:o

Kinda feel like you might be schticking with me here.

 
In the last 30 minutes, people have come by the front door selling tortillas, bootleg DVDs (less than $1 each and good quality), mops/brooms, and shrimp.

 
krista4 said:
In the last 30 minutes, people have come by the front door selling tortillas, bootleg DVDs (less than $1 each and good quality), mops/brooms, and shrimp.
Click to expand...
Please tell them all you do not keep cash in the house. If its something you really want, have them come back. You probably don't want to be know as the foreign lady who keeps a lot of cash.

 
cosjobs said:
krista4 said:
In the last 30 minutes, people have come by the front door selling tortillas, bootleg DVDs (less than $1 each and good quality), mops/brooms, and shrimp.
Click to expand...
Please tell them all you do not keep cash in the house. If its something you really want, have them come back. You probably don't want to be know as the foreign lady who keeps a lot of cashI
Click to expand...
Nothing here costs a lot of cash. This is just how things get sold here; you can buy almost anything from your front door. They walk down the street yelling what they have ("Mariscos, mariscos! Camarones, camarones!"). Only the DVD guy stopped by specifically for us, because our friend Andy had introduced him to us since he sells the higher-quality stuff.

 
krista4 said:
cosjobs said:
krista4 said:
In the last 30 minutes, people have come by the front door selling tortillas, bootleg DVDs (less than $1 each and good quality), mops/brooms, and shrimp.
Click to expand...
Please tell them all you do not keep cash in the house. If its something you really want, have them come back. You probably don't want to be know as the foreign lady who keeps a lot of cashI
Click to expand...
Nothing here costs a lot of cash. This is just how things get sold here; you can buy almost anything from your front door. They walk down the street yelling what they have ("Mariscos, mariscos! Camarones, camarones!"). Only the DVD guy stopped by specifically for us, because our friend Andy had introduced him to us since he sells the higher-quality stuff.
Click to expand...
DVD is a euphemism for coke, right? :oldunsure:

 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

General Malaise
GM's Thread About Everything/GM's Thread About Nothing
1856 1857 1858
Replies
93K
Views
3M
urbanhack
urbanhack
T
***Official 2014 GMTAN Draft Thread***
34 35 36
Replies
2K
Views
46K
El Floppo
El Floppo
Early_10
***Official*** Seinfeld draft thread
25 26 27
Replies
1K
Views
36K
The Dreaded Marco
The Dreaded Marco

Users who are viewing this thread

Total: 42 (members: 0, guests: 42)
Back
Top