My BFF's wife's family is from Columbia, South America. She wanted to visit them over the holidays and he, always wanting to do something different, welcomed this. A little problem though in that he/they thought they were going for 9 days when she accidentally scheduled it for 14 days.
He called me about 2pm on Tuesday.
(Phone rings)
Me: Hey what's up.
BFF: I'm kidnapped, I need ransom money.
Me: LOL I thought you were home?
BFF: No, I'm stuck down here. Wife ####ed the flights up. I can't get out of here. Bob, please get me out of here! I can't take four more days.
Me: (I can now tell he's wasted)
BFF: SERIOUSLY! I CAN'T GET A FLIGHT. BOB, THEY DON'T HAVE BOURBON HERE.
NO BOURBON BOB!! THE ONLY THING TO DRINK IS SCOTCH. SCOTCH! OH THERE'S PLENTY OF JOHNNY WALKER RED.
Me: So stay drunk the next four days and enjoy your self.
BFF: I can't. Do you have any idea how many family members she has?
Hundreds of them. They all live in these little shacks too. Like 30 of them live in a 500 square foot place. BUT HEY!! THERE IS THE FOOD!! OH, THE FOOD!! HALF THE MEAL ARE THIS ####TY SOUP OR SOMETHING. Just broth mostly. Oh and if you want milk? DO YOU KNOW WHERE YOU GET MILK FROM BOB?!!! A COW, BOB. A COW. You have to go milk the cow and boil the milk. I finally got a hotel room for a grand a night at a Hyatt for one night. Probably the nicest hotel I ever stayed at. Armed guards, drug sniffing dogs....I'm dying here. Are you in the office?
Me: Yeah.....
BFF: Oh, sorry, I'll let you go.
This is probably only funny to me but