GM's thread about nothing (29 Viewers)

[proninja]

Does it smell like pheromones in here?

 

[Ignoramus]

Shouldn't it be Henry Ford fan?

Sorry, what?

A few years ago there was evidently a Mass Confusion over in the Shark Pool when a poster with the username of a real person posted something and everyone took it as if it were really that person posting it. There was then a Great Purge where everyone who had a real person username got their name changed to ______ ______ Fan.

 

[BobbyLayne]

Shouldn't it be Henry Ford fan?

Sorry, what?

A few years ago there was evidently a Mass Confusion over in the Shark Pool when a poster with the username of a real person posted something and everyone took it as if it were really that person posting it. There was then a Great Purge where everyone who had a real person username got their name changed to ______ ______ Fan.

Dr James Andrews was the impetus IIRC. This was around the time Tatum Bell became T Bell?

 

[Guster]

My son sold over $600 of popcorn for cub scouts, maybe one of 8 kids in the pack to do so.

Was traveling this past week, checking my personal email at the airport Saturday evening. Saw an email come through from Friday "Just a reminder the laser tag party for the kids selling $600 is tomorrow at 1:00". Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. For some reason this wasn't in my outlook calendar. Was on my wife's calendar at home but she felt so bad last week she hadn't looked.

So I am going to take my son and some friends to laser tag this weekend. But I really feel guilty, I feel like I'm always doing things with my son because he's older, but never with my daughter alone. I think I'm going to take Friday off so we can do something. She's 4. Guster, any suggestions? Default would be kids museum at the Hall of Justice.

Not sure if 4 is too young, but there's a Daddy/Daughter dance at 20th Century from 6-8 on Sunday. Could also do Jump Zone, tubing at Perfect North, Krohn Conservatory, Loveland Castle, Blue Manatee for story time and then drinks in the cafe, Happen Inc in Northside, probably still a little young and not something you want to get her into but you could schedule lunch or whatever at the American Girl store in Columbus, Cosi in Columbus too, Newport Aquarium, Carew Tower observation deck then skating on Fountain Square (I think Friday is the last day this season) and lunch with your friend guster in OTR

 

[Henry Ford]

Shouldn't it be Henry Ford fan?

Sorry, what?

A few years ago there was evidently a Mass Confusion over in the Shark Pool when a poster with the username of a real person posted something and everyone took it as if it were really that person posting it. There was then a Great Purge where everyone who had a real person username got their name changed to ______ ______ Fan.

So someone thought Pete Rose or Ray Lewis were posting in the Shark Pool? Seems reasonable.

And thanks for explaining. However, I am actually Henry Ford, so no confusion. I'll pay you $5 a day to work, as long as you're a good Christian man.

 

[Abraham]

My son sold over $600 of popcorn for cub scouts, maybe one of 8 kids in the pack to do so.

Was traveling this past week, checking my personal email at the airport Saturday evening. Saw an email come through from Friday "Just a reminder the laser tag party for the kids selling $600 is tomorrow at 1:00". Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. For some reason this wasn't in my outlook calendar. Was on my wife's calendar at home but she felt so bad last week she hadn't looked.

So I am going to take my son and some friends to laser tag this weekend. But I really feel guilty, I feel like I'm always doing things with my son because he's older, but never with my daughter alone. I think I'm going to take Friday off so we can do something. She's 4. Guster, any suggestions? Default would be kids museum at the Hall of Justice.

My kid is 3.5. All she ever wants to do is play with barbies and watch basketball. She seems happy and adjusted, so maybe try that.

 

[Ministry of Pain]

I haven't had a dishwasher in 20 months. I'd kill for elephants molesting an emu.

4 years and running

Thought this was going in a different direction at first.

Can someone let Genius know that you can pop popcorn in an oven?

Not the same and you know it. 2 and a half minutes and you get loaded salt n butter popcorn vs heating an entire oven up, not worth the effort

You can get a microwave at Walmart for like $35, Numbnuts.

My wife won't allow it. She says it contributes to cancer and other things. It wouldn't matter if you all took a collection and bought me one, she would throw it away or give it away.

 

[Abraham]

Shouldn't it be Henry Ford fan?

Sorry, what?

A few years ago there was evidently a Mass Confusion over in the Shark Pool when a poster with the username of a real person posted something and everyone took it as if it were really that person posting it. There was then a Great Purge where everyone who had a real person username got their name changed to ______ ______ Fan.

Dr James Andrews was the impetus IIRC. This was around the time Tatum Bell became T Bell?

I'm pretty sure it's worse than that: the person that caused it was ferris bueller, who isn't even a real ducking person.

 

[Abraham]

I haven't had a dishwasher in 20 months. I'd kill for elephants molesting an emu.

4 years and running

Thought this was going in a different direction at first.

Can someone let Genius know that you can pop popcorn in an oven?

Not the same and you know it. 2 and a half minutes and you get loaded salt n butter popcorn vs heating an entire oven up, not worth the effort

You can get a microwave at Walmart for like $35, Numbnuts.

My wife won't allow it. She says it contributes to cancer and other things. It wouldn't matter if you all took a collection and bought me one, she would throw it away or give it away.

What does she mean "other things?"

 

[Ministry of Pain]

I haven't had a dishwasher in 20 months. I'd kill for elephants molesting an emu.

4 years and running

Thought this was going in a different direction at first.

Can someone let Genius know that you can pop popcorn in an oven?

Not the same and you know it. 2 and a half minutes and you get loaded salt n butter popcorn vs heating an entire oven up, not worth the effort

You can get a microwave at Walmart for like $35, Numbnuts.

My wife won't allow it. She says it contributes to cancer and other things. It wouldn't matter if you all took a collection and bought me one, she would throw it away or give it away.

What does she mean "other things?"

She hangs out in these yoga packs and they collectively find all kinds of things to systematically make things harder in my life. I haven't had a bag of microwave popcorn in over 4-5 years. At one time it was the 6th food group for me.

 

[Abraham]

She hangs out in these yoga packs and they collectively find all kinds of things to systematically make things harder in my life. I haven't had a bag of microwave popcorn in over 4-5 years. At one time it was the 6th food group for me.

Tell us more about these yoga packs...

 

[mr roboto]

Yogurt packs? Yoga plants? I'm confused.

 

[heckmanm]

I haven't had a dishwasher in 20 months. I'd kill for elephants molesting an emu.

4 years and running

Thought this was going in a different direction at first.

Can someone let Genius know that you can pop popcorn in an oven?

Not the same and you know it. 2 and a half minutes and you get loaded salt n butter popcorn vs heating an entire oven up, not worth the effort

You can get a microwave at Walmart for like $35, Numbnuts.

My wife won't allow it. She says it contributes to cancer and other things. It wouldn't matter if you all took a collection and bought me one, she would throw it away or give it away.

What does she mean "other things?"

Substandard popcorn?

 

[GroveDiesel]

There's a thread in the SP where Bracie and Geckko are responding to each other. It's more unreadable than Hipple on a dose of acid.

Thankfully Bob Magaw is jumping in and helping out.

 

[Ministry of Pain]

She hangs out in these yoga packs and they collectively find all kinds of things to systematically make things harder in my life. I haven't had a bag of microwave popcorn in over 4-5 years. At one time it was the 6th food group for me.

Tell us more about these yoga packs...

The teacher couple that helped me get a teaching interview, wife met them about 4-5 years ago at this huge yoga weekly in Biscayne Park near downtown. I've been to it, pretty cool but not my peeps. My wife has been doing yoga on and off for 10 years. She recently joined a studio where they all go 3-4 times a week, that group has gotten bigger. It's about the most anti-MOP/180 group you could ever assemble, all of them peace loving tree huggers that want to live off the grid to fulfill that wet dream of theirs. I'm just waiting for the call one day that we are moving to some farm in sticksville to live off the land.

We don't have cable either.

 

[mr roboto]

No wonder why you're so miserable. I'm sensing this feeling of sympathy for you rising up from my heart.

 

[Abraham]

No wonder why you're so miserable. I'm sensing this feeling of sympathy for you rising up from my heart.

 

[Ignoramus]

Here's a thread regarding the aftermath of the whole "fan" deal. The whole **** Vermeil thing cracks me up.

http://forums.footballguys.com/forum/index.php?showtopic=488852

 

[Henry Ford]

She hangs out in these yoga packs and they collectively find all kinds of things to systematically make things harder in my life. I haven't had a bag of microwave popcorn in over 4-5 years. At one time it was the 6th food group for me.

Tell us more about these yoga packs...

The teacher couple that helped me get a teaching interview, wife met them about 4-5 years ago at this huge yoga weekly in Biscayne Park near downtown. I've been to it, pretty cool but not my peeps. My wife has been doing yoga on and off for 10 years. She recently joined a studio where they all go 3-4 times a week, that group has gotten bigger. It's about the most anti-MOP/180 group you could ever assemble, all of them peace loving tree huggers that want to live off the grid to fulfill that wet dream of theirs. I'm just waiting for the call one day that we are moving to some farm in sticksville to live off the land.

We don't have cable either.

The picture is getting clearer.

 

[Mr.Pack]

Something is missing in this conversation.

Is is Doge?

I almost to the point of saying yes.

 

[Bogart]

Got a job interview tonight. Not losing my current job, in fact I just got a slight promotion/lateral move.

But still, SAP has destroyed this company and I feel like it's just moving chairs on the Titanic. Plus, this new company came after me without a word that I was even looking. That always feels good.

Got the offer last night. Slight pay cut but worth it for the opportunity Super excited.

Sending off a resignation letter is one of the most uplifting things you can do..

 

[Guster]

Got a job interview tonight. Not losing my current job, in fact I just got a slight promotion/lateral move.

But still, SAP has destroyed this company and I feel like it's just moving chairs on the Titanic. Plus, this new company came after me without a word that I was even looking. That always feels good.

Got the offer last night. Slight pay cut but worth it for the opportunity Super excited.

Sending off a resignation letter is one of the most uplifting things you can do..

Wow, congrats!

 

[Henry Ford]

Got a job interview tonight. Not losing my current job, in fact I just got a slight promotion/lateral move.

But still, SAP has destroyed this company and I feel like it's just moving chairs on the Titanic. Plus, this new company came after me without a word that I was even looking. That always feels good.

Got the offer last night. Slight pay cut but worth it for the opportunity Super excited.

Sending off a resignation letter is one of the most uplifting things you can do..

Congratulations.

 

[heckmanm]

Congrats, Bogie!

 

[Abraham]

Got a job interview tonight. Not losing my current job, in fact I just got a slight promotion/lateral move.

But still, SAP has destroyed this company and I feel like it's just moving chairs on the Titanic. Plus, this new company came after me without a word that I was even looking. That always feels good.

Got the offer last night. Slight pay cut but worth it for the opportunity Super excited.

Sending off a resignation letter is one of the most uplifting things you can do..

Good for you.

 

[Thorn]

 

[Notorious T.R.E.]

Bogie

 

[belljr]

grats, i was actually torn when i sent mine in

 

[YSR]

My window for getting a new job is pretty darn small right now. I pretty much have to find something and interview before I start showing. And even then, I don't know how comfortable I am starting a new job 5 months before going on maternity leave (even though my leave was only 4 days with my first). And then there's the whole pre-existing condition thing with insurance. So, it looks like I'm stuck listening to my crazy coworker sing, cry, and watch Hulu all day. And IM me Buzzfeed links. And start sobbing whenever she sees my child because seeing her causes her to "mourn the children that I will never have" (direct quote from her blog).

It's neat here.

 

[GroveDiesel]

Congrats!

 

[Aaron Rudnicki]

My window for getting a new job is pretty darn small right now. I pretty much have to find something and interview before I start showing. And even then, I don't know how comfortable I am starting a new job 5 months before going on maternity leave (even though my leave was only 4 days with my first). And then there's the whole pre-existing condition thing with insurance. So, it looks like I'm stuck listening to my crazy coworker sing, cry, and watch Hulu all day. And IM me Buzzfeed links. And start sobbing whenever she sees my child because seeing her causes her to "mourn the children that I will never have" (direct quote from her blog).

It's neat here.

oof

that sounds horrible, unless the buzzfeed links are really awesome.

 

[Homer J Simpson]

Something is missing in this conversation.

Is is Doge?

I almost to the point of saying yes.

woww

very lay back

much just enjoy it

amaze

 

[Henry Ford]

My window for getting a new job is pretty darn small right now. I pretty much have to find something and interview before I start showing. And even then, I don't know how comfortable I am starting a new job 5 months before going on maternity leave (even though my leave was only 4 days with my first). And then there's the whole pre-existing condition thing with insurance. So, it looks like I'm stuck listening to my crazy coworker sing, cry, and watch Hulu all day. And IM me Buzzfeed links. And start sobbing whenever she sees my child because seeing her causes her to "mourn the children that I will never have" (direct quote from her blog).

It's neat here.

Happy January 1, 2014! :confetti:

Thanks, Obama!

 

[Homer J Simpson]

My window for getting a new job is pretty darn small right now. I pretty much have to find something and interview before I start showing. And even then, I don't know how comfortable I am starting a new job 5 months before going on maternity leave (even though my leave was only 4 days with my first). And then there's the whole pre-existing condition thing with insurance. So, it looks like I'm stuck listening to my crazy coworker sing, cry, and watch Hulu all day. And IM me Buzzfeed links. And start sobbing whenever she sees my child because seeing her causes her to "mourn the children that I will never have" (direct quote from her blog).

It's neat here.

FYI there's no more "pre-existing condition thing"

And you should probably just put the sad sack coworker out of her misery. Staple remover to the carotid will do the trick.

 

[UOFI_316]

My window for getting a new job is pretty darn small right now. I pretty much have to find something and interview before I start showing. And even then, I don't know how comfortable I am starting a new job 5 months before going on maternity leave (even though my leave was only 4 days with my first). And then there's the whole pre-existing condition thing with insurance. So, it looks like I'm stuck listening to my crazy coworker sing, cry, and watch Hulu all day. And IM me Buzzfeed links. And start sobbing whenever she sees my child because seeing her causes her to "mourn the children that I will never have" (direct quote from her blog).

It's neat here.

Why are you going to go on maternity leave when you won't be having baby #2 for 10 months?? Reply to all her IMs with Doge speak.

 

[Captain Quinoa]

My window for getting a new job is pretty darn small right now. I pretty much have to find something and interview before I start showing. And even then, I don't know how comfortable I am starting a new job 5 months before going on maternity leave (even though my leave was only 4 days with my first). And then there's the whole pre-existing condition thing with insurance. So, it looks like I'm stuck listening to my crazy coworker sing, cry, and watch Hulu all day. And IM me Buzzfeed links. And start sobbing whenever she sees my child because seeing her causes her to "mourn the children that I will never have" (direct quote from her blog).

It's neat here.

FYI there's no more "pre-existing condition thing"

And you should probably just put the sad sack coworker out of her misery. Staple remover to the carotid will do the trick.

even before Obamacare I don't think there was a pre-ex condition thing as long as you had continuous coverage

 

[YSR]

My window for getting a new job is pretty darn small right now. I pretty much have to find something and interview before I start showing. And even then, I don't know how comfortable I am starting a new job 5 months before going on maternity leave (even though my leave was only 4 days with my first). And then there's the whole pre-existing condition thing with insurance. So, it looks like I'm stuck listening to my crazy coworker sing, cry, and watch Hulu all day. And IM me Buzzfeed links. And start sobbing whenever she sees my child because seeing her causes her to "mourn the children that I will never have" (direct quote from her blog).

It's neat here.

oof

that sounds horrible, unless the buzzfeed links are really awesome.

Generally speaking, they are not. Typically it's "31 reasons I am going to be alone on Valentine's Day" type stuff.

I've quoted from her blog in here before. She's the one who likened her sin to a kitten, when really is a full-grown lioness wanting to eat her. It's a lot to handle on a daily basis.

Spoiler

I am by nature NOT a repenter. I want to be. I strive to be. But the truth is, my sin keeps coming to get me. I don't keep it out. I go to the store, purchase it, and call it a kitten, when really it is a hungry, full grown lioness with babies at home and I am the only living thing in the house. I pet my sin and believe that it loves me and that it will make me happy and while I think it is licking my hand out of affection, in reality, she is just playing with her food before she eats it. I am a fool.

 

[Aaron Rudnicki]

I bet that's how Tanner's co-workers feel sometimes when he sends them cat gifs and doge links all day.

 

[YSR]

My window for getting a new job is pretty darn small right now. I pretty much have to find something and interview before I start showing. And even then, I don't know how comfortable I am starting a new job 5 months before going on maternity leave (even though my leave was only 4 days with my first). And then there's the whole pre-existing condition thing with insurance. So, it looks like I'm stuck listening to my crazy coworker sing, cry, and watch Hulu all day. And IM me Buzzfeed links. And start sobbing whenever she sees my child because seeing her causes her to "mourn the children that I will never have" (direct quote from her blog).

It's neat here.

FYI there's no more "pre-existing condition thing"

And you should probably just put the sad sack coworker out of her misery. Staple remover to the carotid will do the trick.

even before Obamacare I don't think there was a pre-ex condition thing as long as you had continuous coverage

Yeah, I'm sure you're all correct, which is awesome. I am just remembering when Mr. YSR and I were on individual insurance and pregnancy wasn't covered for at least 9 months after we bound our coverage. I guess I just (naively and wrongly) assumed that a company wasn't going to want to take me on for the expensive part of my pregnancy.

 

[YSR]

I bet that's how Tanner's co-workers feel sometimes when he sends them cat gifts and doge links all day.

We should all be so lucky!

 

[Thorn]

My window for getting a new job is pretty darn small right now. I pretty much have to find something and interview before I start showing. And even then, I don't know how comfortable I am starting a new job 5 months before going on maternity leave (even though my leave was only 4 days with my first). And then there's the whole pre-existing condition thing with insurance. So, it looks like I'm stuck listening to my crazy coworker sing, cry, and watch Hulu all day. And IM me Buzzfeed links. And start sobbing whenever she sees my child because seeing her causes her to "mourn the children that I will never have" (direct quote from her blog).

It's neat here.

oof

that sounds horrible, unless the buzzfeed links are really awesome.

Generally speaking, they are not. Typically it's "31 reasons I am going to be alone on Valentine's Day" type stuff.

I've quoted from her blog in here before. She's the one who likened her sin to a kitten, when really is a full-grown lioness wanting to eat her. It's a lot to handle on a daily basis.

Spoiler

I am by nature NOT a repenter. I want to be. I strive to be. But the truth is, my sin keeps coming to get me. I don't keep it out. I go to the store, purchase it, and call it a kitten, when really it is a hungry, full grown lioness with babies at home and I am the only living thing in the house. I pet my sin and believe that it loves me and that it will make me happy and while I think it is licking my hand out of affection, in reality, she is just playing with her food before she eats it. I am a fool.

Whoa

 

[Abraham]

My window for getting a new job is pretty darn small right now. I pretty much have to find something and interview before I start showing. And even then, I don't know how comfortable I am starting a new job 5 months before going on maternity leave (even though my leave was only 4 days with my first). And then there's the whole pre-existing condition thing with insurance. So, it looks like I'm stuck listening to my crazy coworker sing, cry, and watch Hulu all day. And IM me Buzzfeed links. And start sobbing whenever she sees my child because seeing her causes her to "mourn the children that I will never have" (direct quote from her blog).

It's neat here.

FYI there's no more "pre-existing condition thing"

And you should probably just put the sad sack coworker out of her misery. Staple remover to the carotid will do the trick.

even before Obamacare I don't think there was a pre-ex condition thing as long as you had continuous coverage

Yeah, I'm sure you're all correct, which is awesome. I am just remembering when Mr. YSR and I were on individual insurance and pregnancy wasn't covered for at least 9 months after we bound our coverage. I guess I just (naively and wrongly) assumed that a company wasn't going to want to take me on for the expensive part of my pregnancy.

Ours was 60 day wait when we had our own indy policy. I don't think it matters now.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

I haven't had a dishwasher in 20 months. I'd kill for elephants molesting an emu.

4 years and running

Thought this was going in a different direction at first.

Can someone let Genius know that you can pop popcorn in an oven?

Not the same and you know it. 2 and a half minutes and you get loaded salt n butter popcorn vs heating an entire oven up, not worth the effort

You can get a microwave at Walmart for like $35, Numbnuts.

My wife won't allow it. She says it contributes to cancer and other things. It wouldn't matter if you all took a collection and bought me one, she would throw it away or give it away.

JFC

 

[Limp Ditka]

I haven't had a dishwasher in 20 months. I'd kill for elephants molesting an emu.

4 years and running

Thought this was going in a different direction at first.

Can someone let Genius know that you can pop popcorn in an oven?

Not the same and you know it. 2 and a half minutes and you get loaded salt n butter popcorn vs heating an entire oven up, not worth the effort

You can get a microwave at Walmart for like $35, Numbnuts.

My wife won't allow it. She says it contributes to cancer and other things. It wouldn't matter if you all took a collection and bought me one, she would throw it away or give it away.

JFC

I wonder how she feels about essential oils

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

I bet that's how Tanner's co-workers feel sometimes when he sends them cat gifs and doge links all day.

There is very little of that where I work.

About 10-12 years ago (when the 6th grade broads I work with were finally getting the hang of email) there was a cadre of hens that liked to send out "funny" crap other people had sent them (FWD: FWD: FWD: FWD:FWD: FWD:FWD: FWD:FWD: FWD:FWD: FWD:FWD: FWD:FWD: FWD: This is hilarious!!1).

It would have been tolerable but none of them knew what the Reply All feature was for.

The district office finally brought the hammer down.

 

[Homer J Simpson]

My window for getting a new job is pretty darn small right now. I pretty much have to find something and interview before I start showing. And even then, I don't know how comfortable I am starting a new job 5 months before going on maternity leave (even though my leave was only 4 days with my first). And then there's the whole pre-existing condition thing with insurance. So, it looks like I'm stuck listening to my crazy coworker sing, cry, and watch Hulu all day. And IM me Buzzfeed links. And start sobbing whenever she sees my child because seeing her causes her to "mourn the children that I will never have" (direct quote from her blog).

It's neat here.

oof

that sounds horrible, unless the buzzfeed links are really awesome.

Generally speaking, they are not. Typically it's "31 reasons I am going to be alone on Valentine's Day" type stuff.

I've quoted from her blog in here before. She's the one who likened her sin to a kitten, when really is a full-grown lioness wanting to eat her. It's a lot to handle on a daily basis.

Spoiler

I am by nature NOT a repenter. I want to be. I strive to be. But the truth is, my sin keeps coming to get me. I don't keep it out. I go to the store, purchase it, and call it a kitten, when really it is a hungry, full grown lioness with babies at home and I am the only living thing in the house. I pet my sin and believe that it loves me and that it will make me happy and while I think it is licking my hand out of affection, in reality, she is just playing with her food before she eats it. I am a fool.

Spoiler

Whoa

Yes. I vaguely recall asking for her number last time this was posted.

 

[Frostillicus]

Congrats Bogart fan

 

[Abraham]

For Tanner. Seriously, listen through to the part-that's-hard-to-sing.

No, I don't care if this was posted before.

 

[YSR]

My window for getting a new job is pretty darn small right now. I pretty much have to find something and interview before I start showing. And even then, I don't know how comfortable I am starting a new job 5 months before going on maternity leave (even though my leave was only 4 days with my first). And then there's the whole pre-existing condition thing with insurance. So, it looks like I'm stuck listening to my crazy coworker sing, cry, and watch Hulu all day. And IM me Buzzfeed links. And start sobbing whenever she sees my child because seeing her causes her to "mourn the children that I will never have" (direct quote from her blog).

It's neat here.

oof

that sounds horrible, unless the buzzfeed links are really awesome.

Generally speaking, they are not. Typically it's "31 reasons I am going to be alone on Valentine's Day" type stuff.

I've quoted from her blog in here before. She's the one who likened her sin to a kitten, when really is a full-grown lioness wanting to eat her. It's a lot to handle on a daily basis.

Spoiler

I am by nature NOT a repenter. I want to be. I strive to be. But the truth is, my sin keeps coming to get me. I don't keep it out. I go to the store, purchase it, and call it a kitten, when really it is a hungry, full grown lioness with babies at home and I am the only living thing in the house. I pet my sin and believe that it loves me and that it will make me happy and while I think it is licking my hand out of affection, in reality, she is just playing with her food before she eats it. I am a fool.

Spoiler

Whoa

Spoiler

Yes. I vaguely recall asking for her number last time this was posted.

Have at it. Just know that this is the kind of thing she'll write about you after spending the night at your house one time (and she's a virgin so it's not like it would be worth it).

Spoiler

Kisses
pass between lips
and tongues
stained red
and we fall
into your unmade bed
it smells
of loneliness
and you reach
inside me
and pull out
my blackest part
not my heart
I gave it away
long ago
to the man before you
or maybe
before him
I don’t remember
ripping little pieces out
flinging them
to a boy
with golden eyes
to a man with copper skin
with hair dark as obsidian
so as you hold me
in your arms
lay your head on my chest
you will hear
nothing
just hollow
empty
silence
and the tears
that wet my cheeks
are akin to those of
crocodiles
weak imitations
shadows of the real thing
I no longer
mourn
what used to be

 

[Abraham]

Wow, that actually looks like it was written for Homer. All that's missing is the reference to the pizza boxes on the floor and how grabbing his nut sack during activity will result in immediate **** spasms.