GM's thread about nothing (47 Viewers)

[sports_fan]

I smell really good!

 

[Annyong]

Dylan was retrieving a foul ball at his game tonight and didn't notice his teammate taking practice swings. So he caught a full swing right to the gut. Sure he dropped like he was shot and cried but he shook it off after a couple of minutes and went out and played catcher next inning. Thank the good dude it wasn't a few inches higher or lower or we would be in the ER right now. Looks like all of those situps he does paid off too.

My little brother always had to play catcher in the front yard and took numerous bats to the head.

kinda sounds gay, actually

 

[Mr.Pack]

Am I right that there was not ever a prettier song than Somewhere Over the Rainbow?

I'm certain of it. Go ahead and watch the original Wizard of Oz, report back.

There are 3 movies I told my wife I will never ever ever let my kids watch.

1. Wizard of Oz

2. Mary Poppins

3. Sound of Music

My mom made me watch all of these "classics" as a kid and I hated them with a passion. No way I'm subjecting my boys to this ####.

Who the #### doesn't like Wizard of Oz?

Commies, that's who.

An error occurredYou have reached your quota of positive votes for the day

 

[Mr.Pack]

My daughter is in the Baltics with her U Choir, after 10 days they are coming home tomorrow. Her BF is also in the choir and on the trip.

She just texted me the following: "I broke up with BF, I'm pretty sure he's gay, WHAT THE ####" "Now I have to deal with this and when we get off the plane say goodbye to all my friends forever, WTF?. I'm a mess"

I don't even know how to handle this.

Why would she have to say goodbye to all her friends forever? Are the rest of her friends all gay men?

Well college is over, and people drift apart. People she sees everyday, etc.

Yea, she' probably overreacting some, but being she just found out her BF is gay, college is over and life is going to change as real life sets it, and she's going on 10 days with little sleep, I'll give her a pass to be a little emotional.

 

[Mr.Pack]

Burn! Put that in your Walkman and smoke it!

Sounds legit

File this under "water over the bridge"

An error occurredYou have reached your quota of positive votes for the day

 

[Aerial Assault]

Note to self: start being more interesting so I can make it into Bobby Sac's updates

I can confirm that you have two boobs. Should be good enough for the next update.

NOW it's getting interesting.

 

[Mr.Pack]

I'm only 50 pages behind !

-fish got molested (not the good way) in front of his kid at a campground with a balcony by a crazy chick and went to prison with carnies (actually true)

-SLB is busty

-shuke's spreading the gout

-YRS has boobs (1 confirmed. 1 assumed)

-GM found out Cosmo has good programs on the Netflix

-Rodeos suck, unless you're a cow with a very specific fetish

-Tanner's wife left that place that makes bbq to work for some other place that serves beer late at night (I'm guessing the place that hand spins wings?), and he's trying to score multiple weeks of bachelorhood from it

-Rude went to Paris and all he got was this lousy Big Mac

-Grove could use some thoprawishes

-LABShole seems to have been a great success, despite Tre's presence

-Homer's moving back to THE Ohio state because he's tired of making old fashioneds for guys named Alastair

-thorn needs to shut up

-Zooks' kid reacted to teacher dumping with uncontrollable vomiting

-IB has jock itch everywhere, including parts of Mrs. Foos

-Take a look. It's in a book. A reading rainbow.

-Something about Wizard of Oz. I don't really remember.

-Pack's daughter was shtupping a gay guy, but they confiscated all her friends in customs

-GM made some cookies for BobbyLayne's niece and her new man. You probably saw the Maury episode

-stryker loves furly. No word on how he feels about fruly

-DYLAN FARTED

-cos is getting a "prescription" from a "doctor" for something involving joints

-Cornhole in Naperville. BYOHSH

-Homer wants to know if he can play in your home Hold 'Em game

-YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

An error occurredYou have reached your quota of positive votes for the day

 

[strykerpks]

Happy belated birthday MrPack

 

[-fish-]

Happy belated birthday MrPack

And Krista!

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Dylan was retrieving a foul ball at his game tonight and didn't notice his teammate taking practice swings. So he caught a full swing right to the gut. Sure he dropped like he was shot and cried but he shook it off after a couple of minutes and went out and played catcher next inning. Thank the good dude it wasn't a few inches higher or lower or we would be in the ER right now. Looks like all of those situps he does paid off too.

Be careful. Remember what happened to Houdini.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

So this kid asks me to sign his yearbook today. I open it up to the back and in big, Sharpie letters across the top is another kid's message:

CHRIS,

KEEP PULLING [b-WORDS], MAN.

TIM

This is hilarious since both of these suburban, white dorks probably couldn't pull their puds without a permission slip.

So I sign underneath

Chris,

Good luck next year and have an awesome summer.

Also, don't listen to Tim.

Mr. Malloy

 

[shuke]

So, it was already a bad idea getting food from Burger King in the first place, but I almost barfed when I turned and saw this guy behind me waiting for his food:

Nice hair

Wow

 

[shuke]

I requested more likes for everyone but was turned down.

I'd love to hear the explanation.

 

[shuke]

This is the only thing that may be a mark I can find.

Isn't that the entry wound?

ETA: f'ing hippling, I never get any jokes in.

 

[Binky The Doormat]

I requested more likes for everyone but was turned down.

I'd love to hear the explanation.

Management wants to keep the horry masses in our place. More likes could help people here feel better about themselves - this in turn may encourage us to pull our noses up from our screens and live our lives FREE dammit.

Vive la Additional LIKES!!!

 

[Frostillicus]

I requested more likes for everyone but was turned down.

I'd love to hear the explanation.

Management wants to keep the horry masses in our place. More likes could help people here feel better about themselves - this in turn may encourage us to pull our noses up from our screens and live our lives FREE dammit.

Vive la Additional LIKES!!!

I thought this said horny masses. Makes sense.

 

[Homer J Simpson]

I requested more likes for everyone but was turned down.

I'd love to hear the explanation.

Management wants to keep the horry masses in our place. More likes could help people here feel better about themselves - this in turn may encourage us to pull our noses up from our screens and live our lives FREE dammit.

Vive la Additional LIKES!!!

I thought this said horny masses. Makes sense.

Hey.

 

[kevzilla]

I requested more likes for everyone but was turned down.

I'd love to hear the explanation.

I think it's straightforward--management wants users to be discerning about their likes, instead of just giving them away like krista during Fleet Week.

 

[General Malaise]

So this kid asks me to sign his yearbook today. I open it up to the back and in big, Sharpie letters across the top is another kid's message:

CHRIS,

KEEP PULLING [b-WORDS], MAN.

TIM

This is hilarious since both of these suburban, white dorks probably couldn't pull their puds without a permission slip.

So I sign underneath

Chris,

Good luck next year and have an awesome summer.

Also, don't listen to Tim.

Mr. Malloy

Does the check mark on the upper right of posts on the mobile version equal a 'like' of a post?

 

[Aaron Rudnicki]

Does the check mark on the upper right of posts on the mobile version equal a 'like' of a post?

it sure does

 

[General Malaise]

Does the check mark on the upper right of posts on the mobile version equal a 'like' of a post?

it sure does

Well then, you get a like.

 

[General Malaise]

So this kid asks me to sign his yearbook today. I open it up to the back and in big, Sharpie letters across the top is another kid's message:

CHRIS,

KEEP PULLING [b-WORDS], MAN.

TIM

This is hilarious since both of these suburban, white dorks probably couldn't pull their puds without a permission slip.

So I sign underneath

Chris,

Good luck next year and have an awesome summer.

Also, don't listen to Tim.

Mr. Malloy

And you get a like.

 

[General Malaise]

What exactly is going on in here?

And you get a like.

 

[Homer J Simpson]

So this kid asks me to sign his yearbook today. I open it up to the back and in big, Sharpie letters across the top is another kid's message:

CHRIS,

KEEP PULLING [b-WORDS], MAN.

TIM

This is hilarious since both of these suburban, white dorks probably couldn't pull their puds without a permission slip.

So I sign underneath

Chris,

Good luck next year and have an awesome summer.

Also, don't listen to Tim.

Mr. Malloy

And you get a like.

What about Homer?

 

[General Malaise]

This is the best FFA thread in years.

And one for Homie.

 

[krista4]

Happy belated birthday MrPack

And Krista!

Can't believe no one else remembered.

 

[Homer J Simpson]

This is the best FFA thread in years.

And one for Homie.

Kickin' it old school, huh?

 

[Homer J Simpson]

I was planning on heading back to Y-town tomorrow morning, but I'm thinking I might just hit the road now. Had an epic nap earlier, I'm pretty much 100% packed, and frankly, I have nothing better to do for the next 8 hours...might as well drive 600 miles.

 

[Abraham]

I was planning on heading back to Y-town tomorrow morning, but I'm thinking I might just hit the road now. Had an epic nap earlier, I'm pretty much 100% packed, and frankly, I have nothing better to do for the next 8 hours...might as well drive 600 miles.

Godspeed on your journey.

 

[Homer J Simpson]

I was planning on heading back to Y-town tomorrow morning, but I'm thinking I might just hit the road now. Had an epic nap earlier, I'm pretty much 100% packed, and frankly, I have nothing better to do for the next 8 hours...might as well drive 600 miles.

Godspeed on your journey.

Well kids, I'm outta here.

Alright alright alright.

 

[Bob Sacamano]

gllll gb

 

[Aaron Rudnicki]

glll peas

guess there won't be a Homer/Otis cornhole in the Hamptons after all

 

[-fish-]

My marital support payments run out in August. No surprise that the rumor around town is my ex is getting married in September

 

[YSR]

What exactly is going on in here?

And you get a like.

And also with you.

 

[Otis]

Here's a picture I apparently took of myself in or around junior high.

Guess I wanted to show the world what a pioneer I was -- a teenager with interests in sports, music, and Christina Applegate.

Except there was of course no innernet back then, so I'm not quite sure who the intended audience would have been.

 

[GroveDiesel]

Here's a picture I apparently took of myself in or around junior high.

Guess I wanted to show the world what a pioneer I was -- a teenager with interests in sports, music, and Christina Applegate.

Except there was of course no innernet back then, so I'm not quite sure who the intended audience would have been.

Did your parents have a hard time getting that wallpaper down or did they just buy a new house?

 

[Guster]

Here's a picture I apparently took of myself in or around junior high.

Guess I wanted to show the world what a pioneer I was -- a teenager with interests in sports, music, and Christina Applegate.

Except there was of course no innernet back then, so I'm not quite sure who the intended audience would have been.

I'm curious why you thought you needed 4 basketballs

 

[Otis]

Here's a picture I apparently took of myself in or around junior high.

Guess I wanted to show the world what a pioneer I was -- a teenager with interests in sports, music, and Christina Applegate.

Except there was of course no innernet back then, so I'm not quite sure who the intended audience would have been.

I'm curious why you thought you needed 4 basketballs

I can't figure out what probably impressed the ladies more, the four basketballs or the two guitars.

 

[Otis]

I was way out ahead of that Bilzerian guy.

 

[Abraham]

Here's a picture I apparently took of myself in or around junior high.

Guess I wanted to show the world what a pioneer I was -- a teenager with interests in sports, music, and Christina Applegate.

Except there was of course no innernet back then, so I'm not quite sure who the intended audience would have been.

I'm curious why you thought you needed 4 basketballs

Do you not see the Jordan poster? That explains everything.

 

[Guster]

It's my daughter's first day of summer vacation but I have to go in to work for a little, so trying to make things as fun as possible for her...

Starting off with a couple donuts from the awesome donut shop near my work

Then letting her run around my work playing with exercise balls, arts and crafts stuff, a Darth Vader helmet and light saber and our library full of books and movies while I get some stuff done.

Lunch at the place with awesome fancy hot dogs and French fries before hitting the spray ground for some fun in the heat and sun

 

[pricklypete]

SLB

Try contacting the JFK Presidential Library and Museum. Maybe the research department will be able to answer some questions.

http://www.jfklibrary.org/About-Us/Contact-Us.aspx

 

[heckmanm]

It's my daughter's first day of summer vacation but I have to go in to work for a little, so trying to make things as fun as possible for her...

Starting off with a couple donuts from the awesome donut shop near my work

Then letting her run around my work playing with exercise balls, arts and crafts stuff, a Darth Vader helmet and light saber and our library full of books and movies while I get some stuff done.

Lunch at the place with awesome fancy hot dogs and French fries before hitting the spray ground for some fun in the heat and sun

Made a couple of dogs last night with kraut, onions, goat cheese, and this mustard (which is really good btw)

 

[Tiger Fan]

Here's a picture I apparently took of myself in or around junior high.

Guess I wanted to show the world what a pioneer I was -- a teenager with interests in sports, music, and Christina Applegate.

Except there was of course no innernet back then, so I'm not quite sure who the intended audience would have been.

Soccer fan?

 

[Tiger Fan]

It's my daughter's first day of summer vacation but I have to go in to work for a little, so trying to make things as fun as possible for her...

Starting off with a couple donuts from the awesome donut shop near my work

Then letting her run around my work playing with exercise balls, arts and crafts stuff, a Darth Vader helmet and light saber and our library full of books and movies while I get some stuff done.

Lunch at the place with awesome fancy hot dogs and French fries before hitting the spray ground for some fun in the heat and sun

"I have a normal job, sweetheart"

 

[5-ish Finkle]

I can't figure out what probably impressed the ladies more, the four basketballs or the two guitars.

I'll bet it was the pegged Bugle Boys.

 

[Tiger Fan]

Well that was the Drunkest I've ever made it into an airport

 

[Tiger Fan]

Toronto Harrport has lotsa vag

 

[Tiger Fan]

I literally almost shat my pants at a work dinner last night

 

[heckmanm]

Speaking of dogs (and also Tanner's Houdini reference above)...

The whole family was going to be out of the house for the whole day on Wednesday this week, so rather than keeping our 2 dachshunds in their crate all day, I moved the crate into the kitchen (tile floors) and put up a gate to keep them from getting out of the room. Gives them a little room to walk around, and makes any cleanup easier than dealing with carpets.

I was the first one home, about 10 hours later, and I walked in to find one dog relaxing in the crate and the other wagging his tail happily ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE GATE

Now, these dogs have 3-inch legs, and the gate is a couple of feet high, so there's no way he jumped it without knocking it over. Best guess is that the little #### jumped onto the crate, from there to the countertop, and then down on the other side. Which then completely ####ed him in terms of getting back.

Oh, and he #### on the carpet while he was out.