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Graduating HS Senior Wants to go to Europe with Friends (1 Viewer)

Is she paying for her own trip? If so... no.
Are you expected to pay for the trip? If so... HELL NO.

She's just gonna get drunk, high and pregnant anyway. She can do it in the U.S. for a lot cheaper.
But you can do all that in some very cool places!

 
Yes, but I would avoid the fake ID.  Really no need. My wife did a trip similar to this at the same age and got to see Prague and Berlin just after the wall fell.  It colored her worldview in a positive way to this day.  I'm still jealous...at the time I was a street rat and had no means to make it outside of TX, let alone Europe. Your daughter needs to take advantage of her opportunity.

 
Word is your rich enough to pay ransom. I say go for it. I wouldn't let my daughter do something like this, but again, you seem to have enough money to bail her out of whatever trouble might come. If you trust she's not going to get taken advantage of, go for it. You're going to have to let go at some point and if you trust your daughter, you trust your daughter.

 
Here in MD, it's pretty much a rite of passage for grads to go to Ocean City for senior week.  Brett Kavanaugh's letter to his buddies outlines the itinerary pretty explicitly. Having worked 7 summers in OC and having been to Europe a ton, I would much prefer to send my 17-year old to the latter.

 
My daughter, a HS senior, wants to go to Europe over the summer with 7 other girls--all of them in her class.  Has anyone sent their kids on such a trip?  What issues did you encounter?

I'm thinking there's bound to be drama between the girls and I wouldn't be surprised for the group to splinter.  I'd be fine with a smaller group but I'd also tell her that under no circumstance is she to leave the group to be solo, with another group, with a boy etc.  Also, she will be 17 during the trip and most of the others will be 18 so she's requested permission to get a "fake".  I don't see the big deal and actually feel she'd be safer with it since she wouldn't be left alone.  Do you even need ID in Europe? 

Any other thoughts?
Chet..rent an island for the kids with a security team so they can have fun and be safe.

I would say no to the OP though

 
I don’t see that you said how long the trip will be.

Have any of them traveled to Europe before? I assume your daughter has quite a bit of travel experience, no?

I’m concerned about drama too. Seven is too many it seems. This would need to be discussed. Does she have one or two friends who can all stick together with her no matter what? Otherwise what happens when two girls want to stay behind with the cute guys at a bar and five want to move on to the next thing that night? 

Definitely no on the fake ID. It’s one thing to use one to get into a college bar in podunk USA but Europe isn’t in Kansas anymore Dorothy. You’re going to start off a trip with lying built in and an ID on your person that doesn’t match your passport? Seems dumb. Just wait a year if it’s that important to be 18. 

 
Going to Europe for hs graduation seems like standard upper middle class stuff. If chet is truly rich, he'd just buy europe and bring it home.

 
I don’t see that you said how long the trip will be.

Have any of them traveled to Europe before? I assume your daughter has quite a bit of travel experience, no?

I’m concerned about drama too. Seven is too many it seems. This would need to be discussed. Does she have one or two friends who can all stick together with her no matter what? Otherwise what happens when two girls want to stay behind with the cute guys at a bar and five want to move on to the next thing that night? 

Definitely no on the fake ID. It’s one thing to use one to get into a college bar in podunk USA but Europe isn’t in Kansas anymore Dorothy. You’re going to start off a trip with lying built in and an ID on your person that doesn’t match your passport? Seems dumb. Just wait a year if it’s that important to be 18. 
They all go to an international school and speak at least two languages fluently and another conversationally. In my daughter's sophomore year, she spent two weeks in China, a week in Montreal and a week in France on school trips without any parents.  As a family, we've traveled extensively.  However, I understand it's not the same as traveling with others who also have no experience on their own.  

I've decided the fake is a bad idea and won't be endorsing it in any way.

The trip's not for another 9 months so no details have been set.  Originating mother is talking about 4 weeks which seems long to me.

 
They all go to an international school and speak at least two languages fluently and another conversationally. In my daughter's sophomore year, she spent two weeks in China, a week in Montreal and a week in France on school trips without any parents.  As a family, we've traveled extensively.  However, I understand it's not the same as traveling with others who also have no experience on their own.  

I've decided the fake is a bad idea and won't be endorsing it in any way.

The trip's not for another 9 months so no details have been set.  Originating mother is talking about 4 weeks which seems long to me.
knowing these details.  it's a no brainer to me.  my daughter has traveled extensively within the US.  she's 12 now and we are going to start going international with her soon.  we met an awesome family from japan, while skiing last year, and i'm hoping to go to japan next summer.  and as someone said above, you either trust her, or you don't.

 
I’d allow and fund an after-college backpacking trip, but I think after HS is too early.  I think most kids are too inexperienced (with drinking, potential predators, con men, drugs, etc.) at that age. There’s a lot of maturity and street smarts that comes after four years of college.

And I don’t think the fake id is a big deal.  My daughter is a freshman in college and she just asked me about getting one.  I had one as a kid.  Edit to write that taking/using a fake id in a foreign country is not a good idea. 

 
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100 percent yes. 

More kids should do stuff like this. Let her go and have a good time. Let her see the world a little bit. I mean, heck, I was living on my own when I was 17. Our kids are a lot more capable than we usually give them credit for. 

Let them go and figure it out for themselves. They’ll never forget it.

 
She can go...................... I'd be going to tho. I won't follow too closely behind. But, I'd always be a 15 minute call away,

Doesn't even need to tell the other girls and I'd wear a disguise if she wants.

ETA... I only have 1 girl and I plan to ALWAYS be a 15 minute call away so, maybe disregard my opinion....lol

 
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She can go...................... I'd be going to tho. I won't follow too closely behind. But, I'd always be a 15 minute call away,

Doesn't even need to tell the other girls and I'd wear a disguise if she wants.

ETA... I only have 1 girl and I plan to ALWAYS be a 15 minute call away so, maybe disregard my opinion....lol
You’re going to have to loosen the reigns and let her run on her own pretty soon.

 
She has control over what situations she puts herself in and how she reacts, so if you trust her ability to manage that... 

I'm also not a "the world is a scary place" guy. I've traveled a ton starting at a similar young age and haven't been in many situations where I haven't felt I've been in control.
At the ripe old age of 17- with all that worldly experience- the ability to anticipate the arrival of negative scenarios and the skill set to navigate them is not where I would want them to be for my daughter. One who is also looking for fake ID, BTW. Because drinking an partying with older folks is where it's all at.

 
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At the ripe old age of 17- with all that worldly experience- the ability to anticipate the arrival of negative scenarios and the skill set to navigate them is not where I would want them to be for my daughter. One who is also looking for fake ID, BTW. Because drinking an partying with older folks is where it's all at.
Showing faith and confidence in your kids at that age goes a long way to building a good “adult” relationship with them. 

We forget that they are real people at that age, as much as we always want to think of them as just our kids. Supporting her in something like goes a lot further than just this trip. It shows a level of trust that she will appreciate as she gets older.

 
What would a fake ID even accomplish? Over here we don't accept foreign id's unless they are passports. I imagine it's the same over there. A Texas driver's license will get laughed at. Besides, you don't need an ID for museums, art galleries, parks, and boat rides. What Des she want one for? 

 
My son will be doing a trip to Greece as part of the school.  Wish it was a different location but should be really cool.  They will have some down time where the student can go off by themselves for a little while but their's chaperones and an agenda.  I'd feel much less comfortable sending him with your scenario.

 
Showing faith and confidence in your kids at that age goes a long way to building a good “adult” relationship with them. 

We forget that they are real people at that age, as much as we always want to think of them as just our kids. Supporting her in something like goes a lot further than just this trip. It shows a level of trust that she will appreciate as she gets older.
I have two 26 yo "kids. Boys. I get the building of trust thing. For me, that translates into chaperoned trips to Europe and going away to college to experience running their lives. But, cutting loose a band of 17-18 year old young ladies on Europe- equipped with fake ID's for the "requisite" night life- goes too far for me

 
I have two 26 yo "kids. Boys. I get the building of trust thing. For me, that translates into chaperoned trips to Europe and going away to college to experience running their lives. But, cutting loose a band of 17-18 year old young ladies on Europe- equipped with fake ID's for the "requisite" night life- goes too far for me
The thing is, she came to her dad and asked about it. He’s already built up a good relationship there. The last thing he wants is for her to do these things behind his back without telling him.

I just don’t think it’s that big of a deal. 

 
It seems pretty obvious they’re just going because they want to party. In that regard I get it, but why travel halfway across the world, with a fake ID, just to get plastered and do #### she’s not of age to do here yet.  Just tell her to take a cruise and have someone sneak a bunch of booze on. Then you don’t have to worry about half the other problems and it’ll be cheap. 

 
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overseas, I would insist on a chaperon.  if she wants to go clubbing in foreign countries, well, you can go clubbing here.  if you want to go explore culture, history, food, different story.  do you get a sense why she wants to go?

 
My daughter went to Spain and France in High School but that was on a school trip with a ton of chaperones.  Even with that one of the girls on the trip found a way to come home pregnant.  And this was your typical smart, highly functional teen girl, not some wild child.

 
My daughter went to Spain and France in High School but that was on a school trip with a ton of chaperones.  Even with that one of the girls on the trip found a way to come home pregnant.  And this was your typical smart, highly functional teen girl, not some wild child.
Congrats gramps???

 
kutta said:
The thing is, she came to her dad and asked about it. He’s already built up a good relationship there. The last thing he wants is for her to do these things behind his back without telling him.

I just don’t think it’s that big of a deal. 
You don't think taking fake identification through customs in a foreign country is a big deal?  In some countries NyQuil will get you two years in the slammer.

 
My wife went to Spring Break in Cancun when she was 16 with a bunch of other girls who were all HS Juniors.

Based on the stories I've heard, you do not want to send your daughter into a situation like that IMO.  Too young to handle it.  Unless you're Liam Neison and have spare time to hunt her down when she gets taken.

 
You don't think taking fake identification through customs in a foreign country is a big deal?  In some countries NyQuil will get you two years in the slammer.
I’ve been through customs many times in many countries and no one has ever searched me looking for fake id’s. And I’ve never seen anyone searched for fake id’s. The countries she will most likely be going to have much bigger things for their customs folks to worry about.

 
glock said:
I have two 26 yo "kids. Boys. I get the building of trust thing. For me, that translates into chaperoned trips to Europe and going away to college to experience running their lives. But, cutting loose a band of 17-18 year old young ladies on Europe- equipped with fake ID's for the "requisite" night life- goes too far for me
i slept with one  of the chaperones on my trip.  actually, actually true.  :D   

 
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I have boys, but this would be a big hell yes from me.  I'd probably ask if I could go with them.

 
El Floppo said:
my kids are still young, so I don't have the experience in my pocket as a parent. 

that said- my brother and I both did around that age... as did my wife (to japan and to europe). so while everything is still abstract for me, I'm going to say yes, you should. 7 girls offers protection against 1 of them or somebody near them acting or trying to act poorly/stupidly. fantastic opportunity you'd be providing for her, IMO. and especially with smart phones, youll be able to get check-ins almost to the minute rather than an occasional call or postcard if the mood strikes her.

my response is more of a blackdot for several years from now when my kids are of this age and wanting to do cool stuff like this- hope I remember my answer now and don't freeze into terror driven paralysis.
so you trust that all 7 will always be together?  I love the idea of travelling, but it seems like too many big things could go wrong.

 
so you trust that all 7 will always be together?  I love the idea of travelling, but it seems like too many big things could go wrong.
I trust that with that many kids, there will always be a group of more than one. I'd be more worried about one of them roaming around on their own and running into trouble- with at least a partner, those worries go way down for me.

what kind of big things are you imagining going wrong?

 
I trust that with that many kids, there will always be a group of more than one. I'd be more worried about one of them roaming around on their own and running into trouble- with at least a partner, those worries go way down for me.

what kind of big things are you imagining going wrong?
Kidnapping, rape, murder, robbery, etc.?

Is chet's daughter trained in MMA?

 
Are we talking 3 week tour or the whole summer?  

Friend of a friend sent his daughter to London on a short summer semester after freshman year.  part of her time she was "tied" to her classes but traveled, partied, and networked regardless.  She spent some extra time between end of classes and coming home.  Said one of the perks was school accommodations rather than hotel/hostel.  It was more experiential thing than strictly an academic pursuit as the class was just P/F but the school looks good on the resume for those internships in summers to come.  And she did it with an extra year of away from home dorm living under her belt.  that's a significant maturity jump, imo, that better prepares her for a longer trip.  

 
chet said:
My daughter, a HS senior, wants to go to Europe over the summer with 7 other girls--all of them in her class.  Has anyone sent their kids on such a trip?  What issues did you encounter?

I'm thinking there's bound to be drama between the girls and I wouldn't be surprised for the group to splinter.  I'd be fine with a smaller group but I'd also tell her that under no circumstance is she to leave the group to be solo, with another group, with a boy etc.  Also, she will be 17 during the trip and most of the others will be 18 so she's requested permission to get a "fake".  I don't see the big deal and actually feel she'd be safer with it since she wouldn't be left alone.  Do you even need ID in Europe? 

Any other thoughts?
Is the “fake” a fake passport?  Have lived in Asia and Europe and have only been asked for passport.  Never a license or I’d.

 
I trust that with that many kids, there will always be a group of more than one. I'd be more worried about one of them roaming around on their own and running into trouble- with at least a partner, those worries go way down for me.

what kind of big things are you imagining going wrong?
ever seen Taken?

I am being a little facetious, but how about she ends up smoking something from the market in Christiania and then her friends and her wander apart and everything is like a strobe light and somehow she manages to walk god knows how long to a turkish rib house with all you can eat ribs and her one friend is so messed up that she has to leave and go back to the room, but she feels kind of incapacitated, though jolly and relatively aware of her surroundings.

i mean, not that that ever happened to anyone here...

 
The fake ID thing is distracting from the go/not go question - they don't need fake IDs to drink over there. 

 
I'm still stunned at the no care attitude of some people about the fake id issue....in another country! Then when someone ends up in some dirt hole prison like you see in some of those documentaries, these same people will be saying...why isn't the United states doing anything to help us. How could they imprison my poor baby. Maybe it's an extreme take, but this screams DISASTER.

 
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I'm still stunned at the no care attitude of some people about the fake id issue....in another country! Then when someone ends up in some dirt hole prison like you see in some of those documentaries, these same people will be saying...why isn't the United states doing anything to help us. How could they imprison my poor baby. Maybe it's an extreme take, but this screams DISASTER.
Have you ever been to Europe? They are way more liberal over there. Heck, most places probably won’t card her anyway. Everyone drinks over there and no one cares at all. This country is the one that makes a big deal out of things. She’s WAY safer over there than most big cities here in the states.

 

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