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Graduating HS Senior Wants to go to Europe with Friends (1 Viewer)

I'm still stunned at the no care attitude of some people about the fake id issue....in another country! Then when someone ends up in some dirt hole prison like you see in some of those documentaries, these same people will be saying...why isn't the United states doing anything to help us. How could they imprison my poor baby. Maybe it's an extreme take, but this screams DISASTER.
Well they're not going to North Korea.

But my point is why are they bothering with fake IDs at all?? They don't need them - take it out of the equation/debate altogether.  

 
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The fake id for this trip is out for sure.  When I pressed her on it, she wasn't thinking about it so much for this trip but for when she's at college next year as a 17yo.  The fact is, next year she's as likely to do a gap year as she is to be at college but that's another topic.

The plot thickened a little in the last few hours with the parents of her BFF saying that their daughter was not going with the trip as is stands.  I am hopeful that this will dampen my daughter's enthusiasm to go with this crew.  I know most of the other 6 but I found out that one of them (as a 16 or 17 yo) got matching tattoos with her mother and that screams bad family judgement to me.  I am thinking I can work with her BFF's parents to design a trip for the two of them that will meet the girls' desire to explore on their own with our desire to keep everyone safe.  

 
Have you ever been to Europe? They are way more liberal over there. Heck, most places probably won’t card her anyway. Everyone drinks over there and no one cares at all. This country is the one that makes a big deal out of things. She’s WAY safer over there than most big cities here in the states.
London bartender: "But this Vermont ID has a blue background- they changed to a green background in 2017!  Toss her in the Tower of London! Cheerio!"

 
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Great experience. Let her go.  And props on raising a daughter with the trust and maturity to be candid about the fake ID.  

You’ve done well Chet.   :thumbup:

 
DA RAIDERS said:
knowing these details.  it's a no brainer to me.  my daughter has traveled extensively within the US.  she's 12 now and we are going to start going international with her soon.  we met an awesome family from japan, while skiing last year, and i'm hoping to go to japan next summer.  and as someone said above, you either trust her, or you don't.
This guy's lying.  Raiders fans can't afford to ski or travel.  His PO won't let him out of the state either.

Serious answer - I'd let her go for the whole 4 weeks.  As you know, once life starts there's not going to be as much opportunity to take that kind of time.  Also, tell her to throw Ireland on the itinerary!

 
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Yeah, I like the idea of a smaller group.  With seven, I feel like the odds of someone doing something stupid that puts everyone at risk goes up exponentially.
I disagree.  I think the larger the group, the less of a target they are for unsavory types.

 
Did you and your kids get matching neck tats when they were in HS?
Matching Tats - Ok with my kid getting a fake ID.

I’m thinking these two things are both in the category of poor judgment. 

The neck tats will be an embarrassment for years to come...the fake ID COULD possibly be life altering.

You got off the fake ID train anyways, right? 

 
I disagree.  I think the larger the group, the less of a target they are for unsavory types.
The key to not being a target is avoiding situations where you are vulnerable. With seven girls, the chances are infinitely higher that one brings a stranger back to the hotel room, or goes missing (drunk or goes off with a guy) forcing the other girls to spend all night trying to find her, or does something to get them in trouble with the locals, or with law enforcement. In other words the stupid factor goes up with a bigger group. A smaller group with close friends you know and trust brings those risks way down, even if you think the “Taken” movie risk may go up. 

 
I'd put it off for a year or two. Its not a character issue, its a knowledge/maturity issue. A year or two of college state side will get her prepped for that trip. Not just in terms of being better able to handle things but in terms of her appreciating the opportunity to engage in the culture and history of the places she'll have access to.

 
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As hoped, the question has sorted itself out without my wife and I having to make a difficult decision. My daughter doesn't want to go if her BFF isn't going and also as hoped, the other father has suggested we all think of an alternative.

One idea I just had is for them to spend a week unaccompanied at our place in PC.  Gated community and they can get in minimal trouble.

 
Will all you overprotective dads be chaperoning your daughters throughout college?  Because I don’t see that big of a difference  between a group of girls getting bombed and wandering around a college campus for 4 years vs doing it for 4 weeks in a foreign country 

 
Dan Lambskin said:
Will all you overprotective dads be chaperoning your daughters throughout college?  Because I don’t see that big of a difference  between a group of girls getting bombed and wandering around a college campus for 4 years vs doing it for 4 weeks in a foreign country 
I see a huge difference.  College campuses are generally more secure and safe than most cities.  There's blue lighted emergency call buttons spread throughout the campus, there's often campus security in addition to local police, not to mention there's a lot more students around to watch out for each other.  Partying in a random bar in Rome is a lot different than getting drunk in your friend's dorm room.

But to each their own.  I am fine with my 18yo daughter drinking in college with friends, but I'll wait until she's a college graduate before funding a trip for her to tour around a foreign country.

Chet - I'm glad it worked out for you, and you should be glad that your daughter's BFF's parents took the heat for killing the trip.

 
Dan Lambskin said:
Will all you overprotective dads be chaperoning your daughters throughout college?  Because I don’t see that big of a difference  between a group of girls getting bombed and wandering around a college campus for 4 years vs doing it for 4 weeks in a foreign country 
You really don't see a difference?

 
I see a huge difference.  College campuses are generally more secure and safe than most cities.  There's blue lighted emergency call buttons spread throughout the campus, there's often campus security in addition to local police, not to mention there's a lot more students around to watch out for each other.  Partying in a random bar in Rome is a lot different than getting drunk in your friend's dorm room.
This is absolutely correct.

 
 Italy, Belgium
Just as a note I loved parts of Italy, but I'd never let my kid go through/around Naples.  My urban alarms have gone bonkers every time there.

Belgium - Ghent and Bruges are on my list.  No way I'd let my kid go to Brussels, though.

matching tattoos with her mother and that screams bad family judgement to me.
:lmao:   Ya think?

 
You really don't see a difference?
 Not really

Also does anyone  have any sexual assault comparisons between 18 year old American girls on college campuses and 18 year old American girls in Europe?  Be curious to know the results 

 
I know this has already been "resolved" but damn, it's not like Europe is a third world destination.  They'd probably be safer there than in the States.
Europe is overrun with pickpockets at the like.  There are dangers, they're just different.  Less likely to be shot than if she did 4 weeks in Baltimore for sure though.

 
 Not really

Also does anyone  have any sexual assault comparisons between 18 year old American girls on college campuses and 18 year old American girls in Europe?  Be curious to know the results 
Sexual assaults aren't the only risk with overseas travel.  Not 100% safe here either but overseas travel can be daunting for an inexperienced traveler at such a young age.  I realize they need to grow up some time but I'd prefer some real life experience nearby before she travels overseas with young and naïve travelers.

 
Sexual assaults aren't the only risk with overseas travel.  Not 100% safe here either but overseas travel can be daunting for an inexperienced traveler at such a young age.  I realize they need to grow up some time but I'd prefer some real life experience nearby before she travels overseas with young and naïve travelers.
I'm guessing Chet and his family have traveled quite a bit, so hopefully she isn't exactly a novice.

 
Earlier this year, my 13 year-old son and I visited a few former Soviet republics for a couple of weeks.  Toward the end of the trip, we were in Kazbegi, Georgia, a mountain town near the Russian border.  He and I were finishing up an 8-hr plus hike to a glacier and back when I started getting violently ill (maybe the glacier water wasn't as pure as I was told...).  We made it back to the hotel where I was losing it from both ends for hours, so I called my wife at home and asked her to change our flights so we could get back to the States asap.  The earliest flight back wasn't for like 36 hours, so we had to spend one more day in Kazbegi before taking a van to Tbilisi airport.  I was basically immobile, and didn't want my son to have to spend the last day of his vacation stuck in a hotel with his puking dad.  So around noon, I gave him some Georgian money, made sure his mobile phone was receiving texts, and sent him out in to town to get lunch, wander around, practice his Russian, etc.  I told him to be back in by 4 pm and answer his phone if I text/call.  He walked back into the room at 3:45 happy as a clam.

When people ask him about the best part of our trip, he gets really excited talking about his 4 hours of freedom in Georgia, ordering khinkali and tea at a small restaurant and bargaining for souvenirs at the flea market.  I think back to what I was allowed to do (or even expected to do) at his age, and how much safer Europe is than the U.S., etc., and never really questioned the decision.  Not saying allowing a 13-year old boy to wander around a foreign country for 4 hours is the same as allowing a 17-year old to be gone for a few weeks, but I'm just kind of surprised by the largely negative responses, especially since they seem to be about safety and not money.

 
Dan Lambskin said:
Will all you overprotective dads be chaperoning your daughters throughout college?  Because I don’t see that big of a difference  between a group of girls getting bombed and wandering around a college campus for 4 years vs doing it for 4 weeks in a foreign country 


I see a huge difference.  College campuses are generally more secure and safe than most cities.  There's blue lighted emergency call buttons spread throughout the campus, there's often campus security in addition to local police, not to mention there's a lot more students around to watch out for each other.  Partying in a random bar in Rome is a lot different than getting drunk in your friend's dorm room.

But to each their own.  I am fine with my 18yo daughter drinking in college with friends, but I'll wait until she's a college graduate before funding a trip for her to tour around a foreign country.

Chet - I'm glad it worked out for you, and you should be glad that your daughter's BFF's parents took the heat for killing the trip.


Sexual assaults aren't the only risk with overseas travel.  Not 100% safe here either but overseas travel can be daunting for an inexperienced traveler at such a young age.  I realize they need to grow up some time but I'd prefer some real life experience nearby before she travels overseas with young and naïve travelers.
Additionally, when they are on campus they are immersed in their daily routine and obligations, school, homework, activities, and work.  Not sure I would love sending them to Manhattan on their own for 4 weeks either with idle time.

 

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