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Hair coloring for men - advice/tips? (1 Viewer)

pats3in4

pats3in4

Footballguy
I'm mid-40s and back in the dating pool while my divorce is ongoing. My brown hair started graying in the last few years and while it's definitely more pepper than salt, most of the gray is towards the front. I even have kind of a reverse-Jay Leno going on: Big gray tuft of hair front-and-center. When it's bright out the gray shows more as it does in flash pictures (not the best for online dating site profile pics).

Anyway, I'm thinking about coloring it, using something like Just for Men's Salt and Pepper color to keep some of the gray, but minimize it especially in the front. I think if I went straight brown it would be kind of a shock to everyone who knows me and also myself.

I was in Vegas a month ago with coworkers and for whatever reason one of the guys brought it up as part of my online dating stories ("You should color it!"). One of the ladies I worked with immediately interrupted with, "No, don't do that. You look good. I don't think men should color their hair." Of course she's married and I didn't follow up with something like, "Would you feel the same if you were dating and looking at hundreds of men's profiles, allowing you to weed men out by hair color?"

Anyone here color their hair? Pros? Cons? Suggestions on what products to use? Anyone once ponder this and are glad they didn't bother coloring their hair?

BTW, my dating scene is okay. Not bad, but not great. Volume is okay and I turn down more interest than get turned down, but the interest I'm turning down is mostly from older women. Just looking to improve things and so much of what happens on these sites is based on profile pics.

 
man, Im fully brown all over. head, beard...

Im looking forward to having some grey's creep in.

that #### is distinguished. dont color. women arent fools, and I think shows you lack a bit of confidence.

maybe that'll change for me when Im straight grey, but wear it proud man. women can sense confidence

 
Soulfly3 said:
man, Im fully brown all over. head, beard...

Im looking forward to having some grey's creep in.

that #### is distinguished. dont color. women arent fools, and I think shows you lack a bit of confidence.

maybe that'll change for me when Im straight grey, but wear it proud man. women can sense confidence
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"that #### is distinguished." I've heard that line from a date recently.

I don't have a problem with confidence per se as the once I've gone out on dates, it's not an issue at all. The problem is *getting* the dates. Online dating sites are a glorified meat market. Both men and women browse a zillion pics and can start filtering from there before they ever truly see confidence or not.

 
I used to die my hair but stopped around. 5 years ago right when I started my last job. I'm pretty gray now and wished I had kept it up but at this point I don't want to deal with having to have the conversation with everyone at work about it.

I tried the Just for Men but ended up preferring the stuff broads used. It can be tough doing it yourself so I would highly suggest having someone else apply it.

Once you have gotten rid of the gray, get your ### on Tinder and start railing hood rats.

 
It's a tough call. If salt and pepper or even all out graying were even I'd say don't sweat it. But if in streaks (like you look like the dude in the Soprano's) then I say consider it. Like Baloney said, the tough part is keeping up with it. It can be an every 2-3 week deal.

 
Baloney Sandwich said:
I used to die my hair but stopped around. 5 years ago right when I started my last job. I'm pretty gray now and wished I had kept it up but at this point I don't want to deal with having to have the conversation with everyone at work about it.

I tried the Just for Men but ended up preferring the stuff broads used. It can be tough doing it yourself so I would highly suggest having someone else apply it.

Once you have gotten rid of the gray, get your ### on Tinder and start railing hood rats.
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I appreciate you sharing your experience and tips on how to do it right.

Still haven't made the Tinder leap, yet. Don't want to link my real Facebook account to it. But that's more for the iDating thread.

 
Judge Smails said:
It's a tough call. If salt and pepper or even all out graying were even I'd say don't sweat it. But if in streaks (like you look like the dude in the Soprano's) then I say consider it. Like Baloney said, the tough part is keeping up with it. It can be an every 2-3 week deal.
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Thanks for your take. Bleh on the 2-3 week cycle.

 
When my hair first started changing from brown to bray I used Just for Men to keep it all brown. I was around 40 YO then and I'm pretty sure no one could tell. As time passed on I found I was having to color it about every 3 weeks. Total pain in the butt. I few years ago I was getting it cut and my male barber told me the coloring was obvious and he recommended going with the gray. I get it cut about every 3 weeks so I keep it neat and crisp. If it's gray and unkempt that's just a bad look.

Since I quit coloring mine I find that I immediately can tell when another guy colors his. Usually it's the fact his eyebrows don't match the hair, or the fact the hair looks just too brown and overly vibrant.

 
Invisible Sky Wizard said:
When my hair first started changing from brown to bray I used Just for Men to keep it all brown. I was around 40 YO then and I'm pretty sure no one could tell. As time passed on I found I was having to color it about every 3 weeks. Total pain in the butt. I few years ago I was getting it cut and my male barber told me the coloring was obvious and he recommended going with the gray. I get it cut about every 3 weeks so I keep it neat and crisp. If it's gray and unkempt that's just a bad look.

Since I quit coloring mine I find that I immediately can tell when another guy colors his. Usually it's the fact his eyebrows don't match the hair, or the fact the hair looks just too brown and overly vibrant.
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I subscribe to the neat and crisp look. Interesting comment from your barber.

The mismatch in eyebrows and the like is why I'm leaning towards a salt-and-pepper coloring that helps even it out and brown it slightly, not completely. But I don't know how those colors work.

 
I'm 47 and started coloring mine about 2 years ago when the gray was becoming somewhat noticeable (to me). I have a stylist do it every 10 weeks and while my hair still has a little grey it looks just like it had for the years prior to me getting it colored. I will color into the foreseeable future as I think it helps with an overall younger look. Now my problem is when i let my stubble grow out a little it's basically 50% grey.

 
James Daulton said:
I'm 47 and started coloring mine about 2 years ago when the gray was becoming somewhat noticeable (to me). I have a stylist do it every 10 weeks and while my hair still has a little grey it looks just like it had for the years prior to me getting it colored. I will color into the foreseeable future as I think it helps with an overall younger look. Now my problem is when i let my stubble grow out a little it's basically 50% grey.
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Now see, this I could live with. Got some details on the 10 week visit?

 
pats3in4 said:
Willie Neslon said:
pats3in4 said:
Willie Neslon said:
Just leave it.
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Honestly, I'd rather leave it as is than have it look like crap after a poor coloring job.
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Nothing wrong with gray. Most of those color jobs are easy to spot. Then you have to worry about your eyebrows too. Start coloring those and you look like Pavarotti near the end.

http://static.libsyn.com/p/assets/1/5/5/a/155a05d0da6c48da/Pavarotti2.jpg
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Do. Not. Want.
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Honestly, women want confidence, someone who is comfortable in their own skin. They'll take that over dyed hair every day. Start dying your hair and whats the next thing going to be? Lasers? plastic surgery?

 
Ever think of shaving your head. I love the bald look, though I was forced into it by Mother Nature. It's clean, easy, and some chicks really dig it.

 
Willie Neslon said:
pats3in4 said:
Willie Neslon said:
pats3in4 said:
Willie Neslon said:
Just leave it.
Click to expand...
Honestly, I'd rather leave it as is than have it look like crap after a poor coloring job.
Click to expand...
Nothing wrong with gray. Most of those color jobs are easy to spot. Then you have to worry about your eyebrows too. Start coloring those and you look like Pavarotti near the end.

http://static.libsyn.com/p/assets/1/5/5/a/155a05d0da6c48da/Pavarotti2.jpg
Click to expand...
Do. Not. Want.
Click to expand...
Honestly, women want confidence, someone who is comfortable in their own skin. They'll take that over dyed hair every day. Start dying your hair and whats the next thing going to be? Lasers? plastic surgery?
Click to expand...
Like I mentioned earlier, I see the problem as more of a side effect of online dating and the power of pictures. I don't get rejected after meeting the women with my grays showing. I think the rejection comes before that. I suspect the women see a wall of pics of different men and choose who to interact with based on just the pics, confidence be damned.

 
Many women love to see some gray. My uncle is 56 and colors his hair black (which is his original color). It looks so phony because you can tell he's trying to look younger and actually looks ridiculous. Leave it be. Or if you must, do not cover all the gray. We can tell if you are coloring your hair and that screams insecure to many...

 
pats3in4 said:
James Daulton said:
I'm 47 and started coloring mine about 2 years ago when the gray was becoming somewhat noticeable (to me). I have a stylist do it every 10 weeks and while my hair still has a little grey it looks just like it had for the years prior to me getting it colored. I will color into the foreseeable future as I think it helps with an overall younger look. Now my problem is when i let my stubble grow out a little it's basically 50% grey.
Click to expand...
Now see, this I could live with. Got some details on the 10 week visit?
Click to expand...
Because I try to avoid the obvious total dye look that many people have referenced, getting the hair dyed every 10 weeks allows for some minor, but not obvious fading. I can tell it needs to be done again after the 10 weeks, but only because I look. It's just part of my regular haircut routine and cost around $40 with haircut.

I'm lucky to have good hair genes and have a full head of hair. Going fully grey would be super impactful to my look and like I said it's an easy way to control something about your aging look.

 
kutta said:
Ever think of shaving your head. I love the bald look, though I was forced into it by Mother Nature. It's clean, easy, and some chicks really dig it.
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I'm blessed with a full head of hair for someone my age. Before I started graying, people were shocked to learn my age as they thought I was much younger. Even with the gray, I still hear I look to be in my (late) 30s. I'm going to enjoy this gift I've been given as long as I can.

 
CurlyNight said:
Many women love to see some gray. My uncle is 56 and colors his hair black (which is his original color). It looks so phony because you can tell he's trying to look younger and actually looks ridiculous. Leave it be. Or if you must, do not cover all the gray. We can tell if you are coloring your hair and that screams insecure to many...
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This is kind of where my coworker was going with her comments regarding seeing some gray. And I completely agree about your point of looking ridiculous which is why I'm so gun shy on doing this.

I'm getting a "damned if you do, damned if you don't" vibe to all of this. If I don't dye my hair to reduce the gray, it limits my dating options as I'll be judged against so many other online profiles. If I do, then I'll go on dates who see the dye job and think I'm insecure. Yeesh.

 
pats3in4 said:
CurlyNight said:
Many women love to see some gray. My uncle is 56 and colors his hair black (which is his original color). It looks so phony because you can tell he's trying to look younger and actually looks ridiculous. Leave it be. Or if you must, do not cover all the gray. We can tell if you are coloring your hair and that screams insecure to many...
Click to expand...
This is kind of where my coworker was going with her comments regarding seeing some gray. And I completely agree about your point of looking ridiculous which is why I'm so gun shy on doing this.

I'm getting a "damned if you do, damned if you don't" vibe to all of this. If I don't dye my hair to reduce the gray, it limits my dating options as I'll be judged against so many other online profiles. If I do, then I'll go on dates who see the dye job and think I'm insecure. Yeesh.
Click to expand...
Why wouldn't you do it? As long as you don't go jet black or some other extreme, you can certainly leave enough grey in so folks no you're not trying to look like a kid, while maintaining an asthetic asset you have.

 
It is 2015...do what makes you feel good about yourself. If you are going to do it though do it right. Leave a little gray and go a shade or two lighter than your natural color. Lighter blends better with the gray. My buddy I golf with went from half gray to Elvis Presley overnight. Way darker than his natural color that it was shocking.

 
If you have the money to get it done at a stylist I would do that. There are more men than you think you do this method, so don't be embarrassed. Call ahead of time and get prices and set up an appointment. If you are going to color it yourself, I would think about going with a shade darker than what you think, depending on your current hair color. Sometimes it will come out a little red/purple tint if you don't do it right, which is why I would recommend a stylist the first time until you learn a little bit about the process.

 
I've been using Matrix Socolor for years. Tried a few different combinations with my stylist probably 10 years ago or so and got the exact combination when I moved out of state and ordered online myself. No one would have any idea I colored it unless I told them. Perfect match to my natural color.

Eta: Color mine right after I get my hair cut, which is about every 4 weeks. Takes an hour or a little less but easy to do

 
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I apparently agreed to dying my hair once at a family dinner. We were well into our 2nd bottle of wine but Mrs. Eephus and my daughter wouldn't let me wriggle out of my commitment. My son could have made it a hung jury but he said he wasn't listening. Once you start, it's hard to stop so keep that in mind.

I used to have black hair so we've eventually figured out using Just for Men real black on the top and Touch of Gray on the sides and back seems to work pretty well to produce a semi-lifelike look. When I used Touch of Gray on my whole head, it didn't last very long and it faded to a weird looking medium brown.

 
pats3in4 said:
CurlyNight said:
Many women love to see some gray. My uncle is 56 and colors his hair black (which is his original color). It looks so phony because you can tell he's trying to look younger and actually looks ridiculous. Leave it be. Or if you must, do not cover all the gray. We can tell if you are coloring your hair and that screams insecure to many...
Click to expand...
This is kind of where my coworker was going with her comments regarding seeing some gray. And I completely agree about your point of looking ridiculous which is why I'm so gun shy on doing this.

I'm getting a "damned if you do, damned if you don't" vibe to all of this. If I don't dye my hair to reduce the gray, it limits my dating options as I'll be judged against so many other online profiles. If I do, then I'll go on dates who see the dye job and think I'm insecure. Yeesh.
Click to expand...
I think be yourself is the key. Hair color too. Nothing more maddening I've seen with some friends of mine doing the online thing seeing something in the profile and seeing something else in person. It may not seem like a big deal, hair coloring, but it does give the message to us females in general that you are insecure. I think if you really want to limit your grays then do temporary and don't cover them all. Just like you are looking at every little thing in someone you are just meeting, so is she. ;)

ETA: Just saw Father of the Bride II for the thousandth time today. LOL when Steve Martin goes from gray to light brown. Just remember that you either need to keep up the color thing or be cool with whatever comments/reaction you may get if you get tired of it and decide to go au naturel. I wouldn't stray too far from what you've got.

 
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I'm gray enough at this point that I had to make the call and I decided to just roll with what the good lord gave me. I keep it trimmed up more often to keep it clean. Of course, I'm looking for an executive position at work so looking a little more mature is a good thing.

 
Hmmm - wonder what the percentage of those who dye their hair do so to have a greater shot with the wimmens or do it to have a more youthful look at work? In some positions/industries it may not matter, but in others you don't want to be the old, fat, not staying current with technology, wearing pleats/cuffs gray guy.

 
Judge Smails said:
Hmmm - wonder what the percentage of those who dye their hair do so to have a greater shot with the wimmens or do it to have a more youthful look at work? In some positions/industries it may not matter, but in others you don't want to be the old, fat, not staying current with technology, wearing pleats/cuffs gray guy.
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I don't know about the anyone else, but I keep the rest of me in decent shape so I do the same with my hair. It's all for me since I've been married to the same woman forever and IDGAF what anyone else thinks/wants.

 
Do you really want to date someone who is not there for the you that you are? I guess I am not into fake and would rather see what the real person is and not be surprised when the wonderbra comes off and the wig goes away.

 
The Big Guy said:
Do you really want to date someone who is not there for the you that you are? I guess I am not into fake and would rather see what the real person is and not be surprised when the wonderbra comes off and the wig goes away.
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Typically, they have to like the way you look in order to get to know you.

 
The Big Guy said:
Do you really want to date someone who is not there for the you that you are? I guess I am not into fake and would rather see what the real person is and not be surprised when the wonderbra comes off and the wig goes away.
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This is ridiculous. It's about feeling good and presenting yourself the best you can. You look good, you feel good. Do women who wear makeup (about 95% of the U.S. female population) trying to be "fake" and pull a fast one on you?

 
wait, you're getting divorced and you want back in the dating pool?

Geez... if I got divorced the absolute last thing on my list of things I'd want to do would be "get back in the dating pool".

There is enough great free pron on the internet to keep me satisfied for YEARS.

It's like your taking this great blessing and slapping it in the face. This is your chance to remove women from your equation for the rest of your days and have an understandable excuse as to why you are doing so.

Pure crazy man.

 
Dentist said:
wait, you're getting divorced and you want back in the dating pool?

Geez... if I got divorced the absolute last thing on my list of things I'd want to do would be "get back in the dating pool".

There is enough great free pron on the internet to keep me satisfied for YEARS.

It's like your taking this great blessing and slapping it in the face. This is your chance to remove women from your equation for the rest of your days and have an understandable excuse as to why you are doing so.

Pure crazy man.
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www.nomarriage.com I understand, but www.nocoitus.com? Seems a bit extreme, IMHO.

 
Judge Smails said:
Hmmm - wonder what the percentage of those who dye their hair do so to have a greater shot with the wimmens or do it to have a more youthful look at work? In some positions/industries it may not matter, but in others you don't want to be the old, fat, not staying current with technology, wearing pleats/cuffs gray guy.
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My wife actually wouldn't care if I quit coloring it but I prefer to. I look much younger with darker hair than half gray.
 
pats3in4 said:
Dentist said:
wait, you're getting divorced and you want back in the dating pool?

Geez... if I got divorced the absolute last thing on my list of things I'd want to do would be "get back in the dating pool".

There is enough great free pron on the internet to keep me satisfied for YEARS.

It's like your taking this great blessing and slapping it in the face. This is your chance to remove women from your equation for the rest of your days and have an understandable excuse as to why you are doing so.

Pure crazy man.
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www.nomarriage.com I understand, but www.nocoitus.com? Seems a bit extreme, IMHO.
Click to expand...
i have no problem with hiring some live ###### if you want to go that route, but not where there is any chance of an attachment or a relationship.

 
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