Happy Birthday Chuck Norris! (1 Viewer)

[Sinn Fein]

Chuck Norris can have his cake and eat it too.

 

[Sinn Fein]

Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life.

 

[fred_1_15301]

Does this mean we can all punch the first person we see in the face in honor of Chuck?

 

[Angry Beavers]

Google email is Gmail@chucknorris.com

 

[Mr. Ected]

Heard this today...

"At the end of the Guinness Book of World Records, there is a note that all of the records are held by Chuck Norris, these are as close as anyone else can get."

 

[Anarchy99]

No, thank YOU Peter.

 

[Leroy Hoard]

Google email is Gmail@chucknorris.com

lol

 

[Leroy Hoard]

Chuck Norris can run the latest version of Windows on his Etch-a-Sketch.

 

[Jules Winnfield]

Death once had a near Chuck Experience

 

[Leroy Hoard]

When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris.

 

[Parrothead]

they wanted to name a street after Chuck Norris, but realized that everyone who crossed Chuck Norris died

 

[Jules Winnfield]

Chuck Norris put the laughter in manslaughter

 

[Tom Servo]

When Chuck Norris points a gun at you, you're actually safer.

 

[Tom Servo]

Chuck Norris once took a lie detector test; the machine confessed to everything.

 

[Tom Servo]

Clint Eastwood once asked Chuck Norris if he felt lucky. Chuck kicked Clint's ### and took his lottery ticket.

 

[Ignoramus]

When Chuck Norris went off to college, he sat his dad down and told him "You're the man of the house now."

 

[bryhamm]

Chuck Norris died years ago. Death is just too afraid to tell him.

 

[bryhamm]

There is alien life out there. They are waiting for Chuck Norris to die before invading though.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

There is no chin beneath Chuck's beard...just another fist.

 

[MikeMan]

Always liked:

When Chuck does pushups he doesn't push himself up, he pushes the world down.

Ghosts sit around the campfire and tell Chuck Norris stories.

 

[Ramsay Hunt Experience]

I did like his endorsement of Huckabee.

"Chuck Norris doesn't endorse candidates. He tells America how it's gonna be."

 

[fred_1_15301]

When the boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris

 

[kentric]

Heard this on the radio this morning.

Chuck has a bear rug. The bear isn't dead, its just too scared to move.

 

[Parrothead]

Chuck Norris made a Happy Meal cry

 

[ClownCausedChaos2]

Chuck Norris once swallowed four whole, live turtles.

Later, when he crapped them out, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were formed.

 

[JohnnyU]

Chuck Norris counted to infinity ...... twice.

 

[Mr. Ected]

When Chuck Norris cuts onions, the onions cry.

 

[Ignoramus]

Have you ever actually googled Chuck Norris? Type "find Chuck Norris" and click on "I'm feeling lucky".

 

[ClownCausedChaos2]

Once a year the flu has to get a Chuck Norris shot.

 

[MikeIke]

If Chuck Norris is so tough, how about he comes here and mashes my head into my keyboardmnbgbvkluhyhb