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How to plan a wedding without going in debt (1 Viewer)

TheIronSheik

TheIronSheik

SUPER ELITE UPPER TIER
I have no answer to that. I've been trying to keep this thing under a budget but it looks like all we can get for what I want to spend is a JOP to do the wedding and a honeymoon in Camden. At an hourly rate motel.

Is there any way to do this crap on a budget? Neither of us want a big wedding. Family is pressuring a big wedding. But they're not offering any money towards it. I'm sure they would, but I don't even know how you ask.

Camden's not that bad, though, I guess.

 
The hell with your family. Seriously, this is YOUR wedding.

The wife and I got married at the count courthouse. My brother eloped in Vegas. Do either of these, IMO.

 
Virtual guests. Do the whole thing over Skype. You do not have to feed and water virtual guests, and pictures of flowers and linked music are as good as live ones when on Skype.

Hell, depending on where your camera is focused you don't even need a full tux, just the top. You could have a pants-less wedding my friend.

 
Jobber said:
The hell with your family. Seriously, this is YOUR wedding.

The wife and I got married at the count courthouse. My brother eloped in Vegas. Do either of these, IMO.
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I get what you're saying, but both of us are very close with our families. Our families mean a lot to us. It's not like they are people we never see who just want to mooch a free meal.

 
Aren't you middle-aged? Weddings are for the young, foolish, and overly romantic. Elope and save yourselves the money.

 
TheIronSheik said:
Bull Dozier said:
Spent less than $1000 on mine. We didn't go on a honeymoon though.
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Care to go into details?
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My wife was married before, so she already had the big wedding. We didn't have any money, so going into debt wasn't on the table. We were forced to go small and it worked out great (largely again because she already had gone through the big wedding). Got married by a JOP in a restaraunt in an old Victorian mansion that had small rooms for the dining rooms. One was set up for the ceremony, ate in another. Guest list included our parents, my brother and his wife, my sister and her family, her closest friend from school and her family, my two closest friends and their spouses. Didn't rent tuxes (wore a black suit). Didn't buy a wedding dress (she wore a black dress, not a traditional wedding dress). Flowers were limited to her bouquet. Basically everything was stripped down, no frills. Actually, I think it was closer to 2k, but still the same ballpark.

 
Your only restriction is your fiancée. If she's okay with a small wedding or going to the courthouse, then do that. If she wants a big wedding, you're having a big wedding.

Definitely do not get married though.

 
It has been 9 years ago (exactly 9 on 4-1) so I don't remember the details, but I know we got married fairly cheap. It was 2nd marriage for both of us so we didn't want anything big. My 2 daughters were the bridesmaids and her 2 sons were the groomsmen so we even had the expense of their tuxes and dresses. Reception food, a bunch of our friends got together and made the salads for us, then all we had were the sandwiches and cake (just ordered cupcakes from the local bakery).

It can be done.

 
TheIronSheik said:
I have no answer to that. I've been trying to keep this thing under a budget but it looks like all we can get for what I want to spend is a JOP to do the wedding and a honeymoon in Camden. At an hourly rate motel.

Is there any way to do this crap on a budget? Neither of us want a big wedding. Family is pressuring a big wedding. But they're not offering any money towards it. I'm sure they would, but I don't even know how you ask.

Camden's not that bad, though, I guess.
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. Dear Shiek Sr. And soon to be Mrs Shiek Sr:

We love each other very much and are looking forward to the wedding. The thing is we have other goals in life like a house or maybe a Sheik Jr. And at the end of the day we really can't justify a big expense on a glorified party. If you guys think it's "that important" that we have a big party and want to contribute to it we would be all ears but completely understand how expensive these things are.

We hate to break your back and make you humble on this, but that's the bottom line.

XOXO

Mr and Mrs Iron

 
We did ours on a Sunday and that cut the costs tremendously.

Wife did the invitations and table center pieces herself. We did not have a videographer. The venue had a room for the ceremony and one for the reception and the food was included in the cost. We provided beer and wine ($2 chuck from Trader Joes worked well with a couple kegs).

Rehearsal was done Saturday morning with a catered breakfast at the MiL's house after.

Sunday isnt ideal but it did save some money.

 
Jobber said:
TheIronSheik said:
xulf said:
Whats the budget?
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No set amount, really, just yet. Still just trying to get ideas. But the prices for places are insane.
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Not positive, but I've heard if a place hears the word "wedding" they automatically double the price. Start telling them it's a high school reunion.Sorry for the hippling. I've been drinking.
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Your post was #14 and you quoted post #7.

You sir, are no hipple.

 
Mr and mrs Ref had a similar talk with our parents 12 years ago. Both sets of parents wanted "something" but didn't want anyone to break the bank. So Instead of a trendy hotel based wedding in the greater boston area at $70 a plate we ended up in my inlaws back yard up in New Hampshire. The space was free obv. The inlaws went to the hip for a tent and dance floor and $18 a plate for a chicken dinner for 120 people. My parents bought a few kegs and wine and paid a licensed bartender to pour drinks and rented 4 port-Potty. They also got the DJ and bought the cake as well as rented basic tables and chairs. All together it came out to really short money for everyone involved when measured by most wedding standards.

The most important thing by far..... Not once did we mention the word "wedding" when we planned anything. We figured out early in the process the second you say the W word the price doubles.

Good luck.

 
TheIronSheik said:
I have no answer to that. I've been trying to keep this thing under a budget but it looks like all we can get for what I want to spend is a JOP to do the wedding and a honeymoon in Camden. At an hourly rate motel.

Is there any way to do this crap on a budget? Neither of us want a big wedding. Family is pressuring a big wedding. But they're not offering any money towards it. I'm sure they would, but I don't even know how you ask.

Camden's not that bad, though, I guess.
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What's the budget and how many people would you consider family?

Mine was under $4k and we had about 20 people. Beach wedding. "Reception" up on the grass near the condominiums where we were staying for a couple nights. We just rented a tent, table, and chairs for the night. After a few checks from the people we did invite we broke even.

 
Wife and I did the second wedding for maybe $5,000. My first one probably cost $20,000 or more, but I wouldn't know, since I wasn't paying for it. It is amazing how much that little detail can change your perspective.

All things considered, the second was the nicer wedding, though smaller. And I am not even factoring in the difference in the brides!

 
TheIronSheik said:
Jobber said:
The hell with your family. Seriously, this is YOUR wedding.

The wife and I got married at the count courthouse. My brother eloped in Vegas. Do either of these, IMO.
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I get what you're saying, but both of us are very close with our families. Our families mean a lot to us. It's not like they are people we never see who just want to mooch a free meal.
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I proposed to my wife on her birthday, 12/20. While attending Christmas services, we noticed so many families together...and that the church was already decorated. We got married a year later on 12/23 with all the family and friends we wanted.

 
Last time I got married, we went to Vegas and went to A Little White Chapel. Very nice wedding just for the two of us on the cheep. Elvis was the most expensive part ($250). And perfectly legal for immigration purposes. :thumbup:

if you're afraid friends or family will miss the big event, you can stream it live so they don't have to miss a thing ($99).

 
If you need a facility, consider renting a firehall, VFW, or some other community center like that. My wife and I got married on the beach in Cape May. We rented the firehall in Cape May Courthouse and it was very cheap. Then do a catered buffet.

Or do a destination wedding. I seem to recall wedding/honeymoon packages for places in the Caribbean being very reasonable.

 
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GroveDiesel said:
If you need a facility, consider renting a firehall, VFW, or some other community center like that. My wife and I got married on the beach in Cape May. We rented the firehall in Cape May Courthouse and it was very cheap. Then do a catered buffet.
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Had a buddy who did this for his second wedding. Married on the beach in front of about 30 of us, not even with chairs and a setting, we just all gathered together for it. Then went back to a hall for the reception with everyone else they wanted to invite.

 
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Do you or anyone that you know belong to a VFW or American Legion?

We had maybe 60-70 people. My wife and I rented out a hall at our American Legion for a few hundred dollars, then paid $12 a person for a really good dinner of marinated chicken, salad, rolls, and potatoes - also included soda and coffee. We bought two kegs and a few bottles of wine. Anything after that was cash for the guests.

We hired a pastor from a local church to perform the ceremony for $100. My wife found a white strapless dress at a department store on sale for $25. I wore a suit/tie that I had for work. We told our wedding party to wear whatever they were comfortable in. After everyone got there and everyone mingled for a little, we asked everyone to find a seat and for our wedding party to join us up front. The pastor performed the ceremony and everyone went back to what they were doing and the Legion brought out the food. We hired a local, young woman who had just opened a bakery to provide us with cupcakes. We said we wanted it to be a party with a quick wedding in the middle, and that's exactly what it was.

After the two hours at the legion were up, we had everyone back to our house. It was planned and everyone either brought a change of clothes or ran home and changed. We continued our wedding into the night as a cookout with cases of beer and hamburgers/hot dogs.

I think the whole thing cost us about $2000 (maybe more, but certainly no more than $3000) and many people tell us to this day that it was the best wedding they've ever been to.

 
Jobber said:
The hell with your family. Seriously, this is YOUR wedding.

The wife and I got married at the count courthouse. My brother eloped in Vegas. Do either of these, IMO.
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this is the answer. it's your wedding, period i got married in my backyard, no attendants, no bs. had a kick ### party afterwards. spent around 2k for 80-100 ppl. mostly booze. :banned:

 
johnnycakes said:
Last time I got married, we went to Vegas and went to A Little White Chapel. Very nice wedding just for the two of us on the cheep. Elvis was the most expensive part ($250). And perfectly legal for immigration purposes. :thumbup:

if you're afraid friends or family will miss the big event, you can stream it live so they don't have to miss a thing ($99).
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If we didn't do the backyard wedding it was going to be vegas. We were supposed to get remarried by Elvis for our tenth last year but couldn't make it out. We will be out for my 40th this year so I think I'll have a date with Elvis waiting for me.

 
Mrs. Eephus and I were young and hadn't been to a lot of weddings, so our expectations weren't over the top. We had a church wedding and about 250 people at our reception. The whole mess cost us under a grand.

We rented the hall of a senior citizens center in the Fillmore, borrowed a PA from a friend's band and made mix tapes. Some of my future mother-in-law's church ladies cooked up a bunch of soul food. We bought a few kegs and too many cases of champagne and put both on ice.

It was a lot of fun. Our guests got wasted, danced and did the usual wedding hookups. Mrs. Eephus and I didn't go into debt and are still married. It's something you can pull off when the wedding couple are young and not interested in impressing somebody.

 
My bat#### loonball SIL knows a couple who looked up at the moon one night, declared their love for each other and now live as a married couple, proclaiming that night as their wedding.

 
Call up Applebees. One of the best weddings I ever went to had Applebees appetizers all night....no limit! So ####in good.

A little tacky having the ceremony at the bowling alley next door but I had a good time.

 
We got married for a little under a grand. Rented a state park with a gorgeous view of the San Juan Islands for $75, did it in August. There was a place to eat that was covered (we cooked food on the grill), beer and wine from Costco, and ended up with some gorgeous pictures. It wasn't fancy, but we're not fancy, so hey. Never for a second have I wished we spent more on the wedding.

 
TheIronSheik said:
I have no answer to that. I've been trying to keep this thing under a budget but it looks like all we can get for what I want to spend is a JOP to do the wedding and a honeymoon in Camden. At an hourly rate motel.

Is there any way to do this crap on a budget? Neither of us want a big wedding. Family is pressuring a big wedding. But they're not offering any money towards it. I'm sure they would, but I don't even know how you ask.

Camden's not that bad, though, I guess.
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Spending a lot on my wedding was the worst mistake ever.

You don't have to ask for help, just tell them you guys don't have the money for something big, and they either help or they don't.

But yeah a wedding can be done on a budget, and actually make you money.

Pictures should be easy enough without hiring a pro for a ton of money, but you may still spend near a grand here.

No reason to rent out some expensive hall and have expensive catering. Have a party at someones house, have people make food, provide an open bar consisting of some kegs, a few bottles of wine, and a couple bottles of champagne.

If anyone complains about any of this, then you know who to avoid for the rest of your life.

I have had friends do this with overwhelming success. For one, it's just more comfortable to party at a house than some wedding hall. Everyone had a great time, and the bride/groom came out AHEAD financially.

Not sure your wife to be's thoughts on everything, but promise her she can use all the saved money on something in the future that will actually be something you can use, ya know, like furniture or a car or something. Something you will need to buy anyway.

Blowing a ton of money on a wedding is just a horrific way to screw up your finances for the present and the future, and inhibit so many things you WOULD have been able to afford, but now can't because of blowing all that money one a few hours of fun.

 
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I'm coming up on 3 years of happy marriage, with our first child due in August. We did "the big wedding" (a few hundred guests - first and last marriage for both of us). We did the planning and such ourselves, and while we still were in the 5 figures, for what it was it should have cost more.

A few tips:

Biggest is venue, and what that venue will and won't allow. We did the ceremony in a church (didn't cost too much as my family are all members of the church with one member on the vestry). The reception was on a good family friend's farm - so we could make our own rules which really, really helped.

First thing was booze - as we could "make our own rules" I drove into DC one day where the booze is far cheaper than here in Virginia (stupid ABC laws). I purchased I think 15-20 handles of various things for half of what it would have been. Purchased beer at local BJs or Costco. Hired family friends with experience to be bartenders.

Next food - shop around and see who caters. Pay in cash, they'll accept less. Went with a local family's Italian place, pastas and bread go a long way.....we also did chicken and beef purchased from a local farm.

Invites and save the dates - do it all yourself, order online and save the money. We did hand-write address, return addresses, and place settings after doing some calligraphy homework.

Plates, glasses and utensils - since venue didn't have it, and restaurant didn't have it, nothing to do but suck it up. Found a rental place outside of Richmond that wasn't too bad. They also handled the tent.

Restrooms - I splurged. I rented one of those nice bathroom trailers over porta potties. Set me back around a grand right there, but the bathrooms had granite and were a huge hit.

DJ over band. Good move and the guy was extremely professional - didn't realize it till after the wedding, the guy's dad passed away the week of the wedding. He never said a word about it, showed up and rocked the place.

 
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