I guess I just have sucker written on my forehead. (1 Viewer)

[IC FBGCav]

I don't know what it is but it seems that I seem ripe for the picking when it comes to hands outs. It is probably more my demeanor than anything else. I guess I am approachable or maybe those asking for stuff will just approach anyone.

First off, I have lived or work in mostly semi big downtown areas. Also, I grew up in a very diverse town. I know many of the scams and this is nothing new to me.

Getting gas today at a place that I usually avoid for the simple fact that you get solicited for money a lot. But I was low on gas and needed to stop. Sure enough, I get approached. I got to the pump and start filling up my truck and the pump is slow so I decide to sit in my truck with the door open.

I hear, "Sir, Sir" and don't see anyone. Less then a minute later a person is right in front of me. He says he is from XXX is out of gas and doesn't need money just gas. I tell him I see this scam all the time. He says he only wants gas not cash and will pull his car up close so I can give him gas. I ask for his license(to see if he was from the city he said). He goes to his car with a women who is in the drivers seat and comes back and says they don't have a license on them. I hand him 5 bucks, He bolts to the car and they drive off.

What sucks, if they are really in need I would give them what ever they need to help but so much bs out there.

Here is a case I still feel bad about, happened a few years ago:

Getting lunch to go at Jersey Mike's less than a minute from my office.

Well dressed kid with nice shoes (you either get this or not) comes up to me. I missed my bus, can you please give me a ride to my work(about 15 minutes away) I will be fired if I don't get there on time. Old white lady comes up to me, "don't give him a ride, its a scam, its a scam he will hurt you" About a two minute 3 way conversation ensues. Kid calling her crazy and her pleading with me not to take him. I say I am just going back to work and can't drive him. He moves on and I ask the lady if she knows him, she says no but she probably saved my life. WTF.

Final one. I was at TB, eating my lunch in the car and a lady walks up to my car with a kid. " My son has a test he really needs to get to school and we missed the bus." Son was about 10 and he looked was mortified about what was happening, you could just see it. She begged to me to please take him to school even without her. I took him and her to school and then brought her back to the hotel she was staying in and gave here all the cash I had on me, which was less than 40 dollars. In this case I wish I had more money on me.

 

[McGarnicle]

Just put your hand up, shake your head and don't make eye contact. You don't have to listen to that crap if you don't want to. Sometimes if I'm in a goofy mood I'll say "Oh...no English...I don't know...no...okay..." in a bad eastern European accent, smile and shrug a lot. That tends to either perplex them or piss them off depending on how stupid they are.

 

[IC FBGCav]

Just put your hand up, shake your head and don't make eye contact. You don't have to listen to that crap if you don't want to. Sometimes if I'm in a goofy mood I'll say "Oh...no English...I don't know...no...okay..." in a bad eastern European accent, smile and shrug a lot. That tends to either perplex them or piss them off depending on how stupid they are.

I understand, but what happens to person when they are truly in need?

 

[Freelove]

Body language.

 

[RnR]

Just put your hand up, shake your head and don't make eye contact. You don't have to listen to that crap if you don't want to. Sometimes if I'm in a goofy mood I'll say "Oh...no English...I don't know...no...okay..." in a bad eastern European accent, smile and shrug a lot. That tends to either perplex them or piss them off depending on how stupid they are.

I understand, but what happens to person when they are truly in need?

I agonize over this all the time. (Probably more than I should) I don't have a good answer.

 

[Freelove]

Just put your hand up, shake your head and don't make eye contact. You don't have to listen to that crap if you don't want to. Sometimes if I'm in a goofy mood I'll say "Oh...no English...I don't know...no...okay..." in a bad eastern European accent, smile and shrug a lot. That tends to either perplex them or piss them off depending on how stupid they are.

I understand, but what happens to person when they are truly in need?

Then they'll be persistent in finding someone more willing or more able to help. People in need find a way. People who want look for the easiest way.

 

[AAABatteries]

Did you get drunk and leave a Sharpie on the table? That's how it happened to me.

 

[IC FBGCav]

Did you get drunk and leave a Sharpie on the table? That's how it happened to me.

I have no idea what this means but I would love to hear the story.

 

[McGarnicle]

Just put your hand up, shake your head and don't make eye contact. You don't have to listen to that crap if you don't want to. Sometimes if I'm in a goofy mood I'll say "Oh...no English...I don't know...no...okay..." in a bad eastern European accent, smile and shrug a lot. That tends to either perplex them or piss them off depending on how stupid they are.

I understand, but what happens to person when they are truly in need?

Chances are they aren't, and it's not on you to save every poor sap out there anyway. Donate your time and/or money to a worthy charity so you know you're really helping people.

 

[IC FBGCav]

Just put your hand up, shake your head and don't make eye contact. You don't have to listen to that crap if you don't want to. Sometimes if I'm in a goofy mood I'll say "Oh...no English...I don't know...no...okay..." in a bad eastern European accent, smile and shrug a lot. That tends to either perplex them or piss them off depending on how stupid they are.

I understand, but what happens to person when they are truly in need?

Chances are they aren't, and it's not on you to save every poor sap out there anyway. Donate your time and/or money to a worthy charity so you know you're really helping people.

I do, these are not mutually excusive.

 

[shadyridr]

Yep pretty much what mcgarnicle said. I usually stop them right away and say no thanks or something like that and move on.

 

[Widbil83]

I could go on for pages about my hobo stories and run-ins from when I lived in Austin. I went from kindly engaging them with a no or giving them a buck or a smoke, to giving the silent treatment entirely. Almost all these people are full of crap and will spend your money on a High Life tallboy later that day. I give money to the Salvation Army and a few other charities where I know it will be used to actually help needy people.

 

[Fennis]

Hey OP - I need $100. Seriously. I take paypal.

 

[McGarnicle]

Just put your hand up, shake your head and don't make eye contact. You don't have to listen to that crap if you don't want to. Sometimes if I'm in a goofy mood I'll say "Oh...no English...I don't know...no...okay..." in a bad eastern European accent, smile and shrug a lot. That tends to either perplex them or piss them off depending on how stupid they are.

I understand, but what happens to person when they are truly in need?

Chances are they aren't, and it's not on you to save every poor sap out there anyway. Donate your time and/or money to a worthy charity so you know you're really helping people.

I do, these are not mutually excusive.

They are if you're going to complain about people taking you for a sucker. Either give them a handout and feel good about it or don't.

 

[IC FBGCav]

Hey OP - I need $100. Seriously. I take paypal.

PM me. With your paypal. I will vet you and decide.

 

[comfortably numb]

Growing up in an inner city I had these all the times.

Some of these guys are so good, they would make great salesman.

I remember seeing this same lady from my house window at a corner begging for change. She was in a wheelchair. This light always had traffic so she would just wheel herself to each car.

When no cars were around she would pick the pennies out and throw them out.

It sucks as I wouldn't mind helping

people but the reality is probably 95% of people asking you for anything on the streets don't need it for the story they are selling you.

 

[flapgreen]

Helping someone else is just as much for you as it is for them. Help who you can and don't drive yourself crazy trying to figure out who's telling the truth and who isn't. It's not worth it.

 

[T Bell]

Just put your hand up, shake your head and don't make eye contact. You don't have to listen to that crap if you don't want to. Sometimes if I'm in a goofy mood I'll say "Oh...no English...I don't know...no...okay..." in a bad eastern European accent, smile and shrug a lot. That tends to either perplex them or piss them off depending on how stupid they are.

I understand, but what happens to person when they are truly in need?

The safety net in this country is simply immense. There are definitely people who are down on their luck but the combination of public, private and religious organizations that offer financial and material support for people who are "homeless" or jobless is big.

Look at the clothes and shoes most "will work for food" sign-carrying people wear. Most of the time I see relatively new, clean clothes with new sneakers on their feet. Where does that come from?

The ones who tend to look the most run down are the ones who suffer from serious drug addiction or mental illness, and while they're most in need, they're also the ones who I least want to give cash to in the street.

I categorically don't give money to people who hustle me in the gas stations with the old "bus fare home" hustle. That's a classic scam. Maybe 1 in 100 of those is true, and I'm not going to spend any time or emotional energy sorting out who's who.

To me, if you want to donate to someone in need, you either donate money or time to a reputable charitable organization in your community that directly helps people (here's a good example from LA, but there are parallel examples in any major metropolitan area), or else you offer to run inside the nearest market or restaurant and buy them food. You just have no idea what that cash can be used for.

 

[johnnycakes]

Final one. I was at TB, eating my lunch in the car and a lady walks up to my car with a kid. " My son has a test he really needs to get to school and we missed the bus." Son was about 10 and he looked was mortified about what was happening, you could just see it. She begged to me to please take him to school even without her. I took him and her to school and then brought her back to the hotel she was staying in and gave here all the cash I had on me, which was less than 40 dollars. In this case I wish I had more money on me.

Sounds like the mother sure did care about her son's education.

 

[ChiefD]

Better than having swallower written on your forehead.

 

[Wrigley]

Him: Could you spare some cash, I haven't eaten in 3 days?

Drunk me: 3 days huh? Ok, I'm hungry too, let's go into this gyro place, I'll buy you a sandwich.

Him: um, what? I don't eat meat

Me: get the #### out of here.

I still went in, as he made me hungry

 

[Osaurus]

Him: Could you spare some cash, I haven't eaten in 3 days?

Drunk me: 3 days huh? Ok, I'm hungry too, let's go into this gyro place, I'll buy you a sandwich.

Him: um, what? I don't eat meat

Me: get the #### out of here.

I still went in, as he made me hungry

Made similar offers to street folks, but they declined every time.....hmmmm

 

[MikeIke]

Did you get drunk and leave a Sharpie on the table? That's how it happened to me.

I have no idea what this means but I would love to hear the story.

:whoosh:

Did you forget the title of your thread?

 

[pantagrapher]

In all of these cases, you let these people talk too much.

Say no. Walk away.

Stick to this policy.

 

[TenTimes]

Grocery store parking lot, guy approached me for bus fare, I gave him a buck (I usually don't unless I'm in the right mood), as he pulled his hand out of his pocket to take it, a shank fell out of his pocket on to the ground, about a 6 inch piece of metal with a duct tape handle.

It got really akward, he picked it up embarassingly and asked if I wanted it, tried to hand it to me, then as he walked away made sure I saw him throwing it in a nearby trashcan. Just a real bizarre situation all the way around. I never felt threatened or in danger (very public parking lot), based on knowing him for half a minute, I think he was carrying the shank solely for protection (not to stick somebody up), but who the hell knows?!

 

[Wooderson]

In all of these cases, you let these people talk too much.

Say no. Walk away.

Stick to this policy.

Yep

Last time I was approached was Costco parking lot. I'm loading my things. She starts on about gas money. Right away I say I'm to busy go try that line on someone else. She immediately stops and walks away.

My dad is a sucker for a sad story. Even more so if it's a women. I always worry he is going to get taken by them.

 

[Wooderson]

Just put your hand up, shake your head and don't make eye contact. You don't have to listen to that crap if you don't want to. Sometimes if I'm in a goofy mood I'll say "Oh...no English...I don't know...no...okay..." in a bad eastern European accent, smile and shrug a lot. That tends to either perplex them or piss them off depending on how stupid they are.

I understand, but what happens to person when they are truly in need?

The safety net in this country is simply immense. There are definitely people who are down on their luck but the combination of public, private and religious organizations that offer financial and material support for people who are "homeless" or jobless is big.

Look at the clothes and shoes most "will work for food" sign-carrying people wear. Most of the time I see relatively new, clean clothes with new sneakers on their feet. Where does that come from?

The ones who tend to look the most run down are the ones who suffer from serious drug addiction or mental illness, and while they're most in need, they're also the ones who I least want to give cash to in the street.

I categorically don't give money to people who hustle me in the gas stations with the old "bus fare home" hustle. That's a classic scam. Maybe 1 in 100 of those is true, and I'm not going to spend any time or emotional energy sorting out who's who.

To me, if you want to donate to someone in need, you either donate money or time to a reputable charitable organization in your community that directly helps people (here's a good example from LA, but there are parallel examples in any major metropolitan area), or else you offer to run inside the nearest market or restaurant and buy them food. You just have no idea what that cash can be used for.

Where I live they encourage people not to give to the homeless. We have many different programs to help them out and they don't use them if they can get money for free on the street.

 

[shadyridr]

Hell I dont even buy candy from kids selling it for their baseball team.

 

[pantagrapher]

Trying to negotiate the streets of downtown Chicago without getting dragged into a 10-minute conversation about gay rights by some college kid with a clipboard will harden you to the reality that stopping and listening to strangers is the worst thing ever.

 

[jhib]

I hear, "Sir, Sir" and don't see anyone. Less then a minute later a person is right in front of me. He says he is from XXX is out of gas and doesn't need money just gas. I tell him I see this scam all the time. He says he only wants gas not cash and will pull his car up close so I can give him gas. I ask for his license(to see if he was from the city he said). He goes to his car with a women who is in the drivers seat and comes back and says they don't have a license on them. I hand him 5 bucks, He bolts to the car and they drive off.

What sucks, if they are really in need I would give them what ever they need to help but so much bs out there.

I agree it sucks that the people taking advantage of the situation make it horrible for everyone else. People will give less often to the truly needy and when they do, they most likely don't feel as good as they otherwise would since there's the nagging feeling you're being had.

Still, that example made me laugh. You played tough by making him show his license, but a quick bs excuse was all it took to get you to back off of the hard stance. Yeah, you're pretty much a sucker.

 

[Al O'Pecia]

Trying to negotiate the streets of downtown Chicago without getting dragged into a 10-minute conversation about gay rights by some college kid with a clipboard will harden you to the reality that stopping and listening to strangers is the worst thing ever.

Agreed. Cell phones are great because you can see those activists on the horizon and pretend to be on the phone to avoid talking to them. If they catch me off guard before I can get on my phone, I just tell them, "Explosive diarrhea, can't stop."

 

[kentric]

Him: Could you spare some cash, I haven't eaten in 3 days?

Drunk me: 3 days huh? Ok, I'm hungry too, let's go into this gyro place, I'll buy you a sandwich.

Him: um, what? I don't eat meat

Me: get the #### out of here.

I still went in, as he made me hungry

Made similar offers to street folks, but they declined every time.....hmmmm

Only had people accept food two times. Once a slice of pizza and once a half a roll with butter (all I had on me at the time).

To the OP: If you look at the facial expressions, body language and what they're saying/asking, you can usually gather enough info to make an informative decision. My wife and I were walking home and came upon a woman and her son (approx: her - 45; him - 11). She asked if we knew where the town library was and we told her it was about a mile away. We gave directions and walked away. In similar situations, I would typically offer a ride (we weren't far from our house) but something about this woman was off. My wife usually lets me lead on these things. As we walked away, my wife says to me that she thought something was wrong with the woman and was glad I didn't offer them a ride. Kind of felt bad for the woman and kid for the walk they had ahead, but better safe than sorry.

 

[Leroy Hoard]

Him: Could you spare some cash, I haven't eaten in 3 days?

Drunk me: 3 days huh? Ok, I'm hungry too, let's go into this gyro place, I'll buy you a sandwich.

Him: um, what? I don't eat meat

Me: get the #### out of here.

I still went in, as he made me hungry

Made similar offers to street folks, but they declined every time.....hmmmm

I keep an extra sandwich with me in my car at all times. If they refuse it I throw it at them as I drive away.

 

[Otis]

S.O.P. here in NYC:

• This is why New Yorkers always wear headphones. I'll leave them in even if I'm not actually listening to music at the moment. It's a license to ignore everything everyone says to you.
• When caught without headphones, "Sorry, man" before they get out more than 2 words. (A little awkward when it's just a European tourist asking for directions, but hey, screw them).

I will say that on occasion I get soft. The ones that slay me are the women who walk through the subway car with their baby and a sign saying they need food. The instant I became a dad I was doomed to these. Last week one of those women came through with her baby strapped to her front. I opened my wallet as she approached looking for a dollar or two, had only twenties, but forked one over anyway. You never know with some guys, often times they are drug addicts and the like, and you don't want to feed that addiction, but a mom with her baby is just impossible to tough out.

 

[kentric]

S.O.P. here in NYC:

• This is why New Yorkers always wear headphones. I'll leave them in even if I'm not actually listening to music at the moment. It's a license to ignore everything everyone says to you.
• When caught without headphones, "Sorry, man" before they get out more than 2 words. (A little awkward when it's just a European tourist asking for directions, but hey, screw them).

I will say that on occasion I get soft. The ones that slay me are the women who walk through the subway car with their baby and a sign saying they need food. The instant I became a dad I was doomed to these. Last week one of those women came through with her baby strapped to her front. I opened my wallet as she approached looking for a dollar or two, had only twenties, but forked one over anyway. You never know with some guys, often times they are drug addicts and the like, and you don't want to feed that addiction, but a mom with her baby is just impossible to tough out.

I hear you on the mom and the baby. Used to be a hispanic woman in midtown that always had her 4-5 year old with her. Nothing makes you crumble like a little child looking at you.

Strange thing is dogs though. I can sit through a movie watching 5,000 people die and not care, but I see a dog hurt and its like Niagara Falls. But seeing someone holding a dog and begging and I'm "meh". strange.

 

[McGarnicle]

S.O.P. here in NYC:

• This is why New Yorkers always wear headphones. I'll leave them in even if I'm not actually listening to music at the moment. It's a license to ignore everything everyone says to you.
• When caught without headphones, "Sorry, man" before they get out more than 2 words. (A little awkward when it's just a European tourist asking for directions, but hey, screw them).

I will say that on occasion I get soft. The ones that slay me are the women who walk through the subway car with their baby and a sign saying they need food. The instant I became a dad I was doomed to these. Last week one of those women came through with her baby strapped to her front. I opened my wallet as she approached looking for a dollar or two, had only twenties, but forked one over anyway. You never know with some guys, often times they are drug addicts and the like, and you don't want to feed that addiction, but a mom with her baby is just impossible to tough out.

Odds are she saw a dollar of that and some Russian human trafficker got the other 19.

 

[Ditka Butkus]

Just put your hand up, shake your head and don't make eye contact. You don't have to listen to that crap if you don't want to. Sometimes if I'm in a goofy mood I'll say "Oh...no English...I don't know...no...okay..." in a bad eastern European accent, smile and shrug a lot. That tends to either perplex them or piss them off depending on how stupid they are.

I understand, but what happens to person when they are truly in need?

Tell them "Mother ####er I killed the last guy who asked me for a handout..do you want to be next". They usually leave you alone after that.

 

[flapgreen]

I've me Fat Jerry. Very outgoing and personable guy. I'm sure being easily approachable exacerbates the issue.

 

[Jackstraw]

Just put your hand up, shake your head and don't make eye contact. You don't have to listen to that crap if you don't want to. Sometimes if I'm in a goofy mood I'll say "Oh...no English...I don't know...no...okay..." in a bad eastern European accent, smile and shrug a lot. That tends to either perplex them or piss them off depending on how stupid they are.

I understand, but what happens to person when they are truly in need?

The safety net in this country is simply immense.

Ah yes all those lucky duckies on welfare. Strapping young bucks with their TBone steaks and cadilacs. Talk about a scam.

 

[sbonomo]

I've me Fat Jerry. Very outgoing and personable guy. I'm sure being easily approachable exacerbates the issue.

is this English?

 

[skillz]

Was in Greektown in Detroit over 4th of July weekend. Had some pizza before we headed over for the Tigers game. I wasn't paying attention and the waitress boxed up two extra slices of pizza we didn't eat. My girlfriend told me to just leave it but I said "well maybe some homeless guy will want it on the way to the park, let's find out." Not two minutes after I got out of the restaurant some guy asked if I had any money for food. I said "No but you can eat my leftover pizza if you're hungry." He immediately took it and walked away. I was surprised since I thought he would say no and insist on cash.

There are also a ton of panhandlers by freeway entrance ramps here in the Grand Rapids area. The city tried to regulate the panhandling and that caused the local paper to write a story on the "plight" of the panhandlers. I think out of the 10 they interviewed, 9 freely admitted to taking the money to go buy booze when they were done panhandling for the day. Give them credit for their honesty but if anyone read that paper and had previously given them money to help out, I am sure that didn't help their cause.

 

[Rayderr]

Seedy Guy in Park: Hello, sir. How are you today?

Bill Foster: I' m doing all right. How about you?

Seedy Guy in Park: Me? I' m terrible.

Bill Foster: I' m sorry.

Seedy Guy in Park: I came from Santa Barbara, and my friend wasn't home. . . . . .and he owes me money. . . . . .so I have no money to go home. I' m almost out of gas. I had to sleep in my car. Do you have a few bucks? It would really help me out. Give me your address, I'll mail it back. Honest.

Bill Foster: Let me see your driver's license.

Seedy Guy in Park: What for?

Bill Foster: It'll have your address on it.

Seedy Guy in Park: I don't have a license.

Bill Foster: You drove all the way without it?

Seedy Guy in Park: Are you a cop?

Bill Foster: Let's see your car registration and your car.

Seedy Guy in Park: That's a hell of a way to treat a vet, man.

Bill Foster: You're an animal doctor?

Seedy Guy in Park: No, a vet. A veteran. I was in 'Nam, man.

Bill Foster: What were you - a drummer boy? You must've been 10 years old.

Seedy Guy in Park: I meant the Gulf. I meant to say the Gulf. Jesus. Come on. All I'm asking for is a little change. I haven't eaten in three days.

[has a sandwich in hand] Seedy Guy in Park: Well, I mean, except for this. #### it! Give me some money, man. Just give me some money. How about a dime? Give it to me.

Bill Foster: I'm not giving you any.

Seedy Guy in Park: You got a cigarette?

Bill Foster: No.

Seedy Guy in Park: You gotta give me something.

Bill Foster: Why don't you get a job?

 

[Ditka Butkus]

The only time I gave a panhandler money was in Savannah GA. ..I'm walking towards this guy and he said.."I only need .89 cents more to get me a six pack"....Due to his honesty I gave him 5 bucks. He said wait right here I want to drink a beer with you, which I did. Asked him what was the deal and he said he was a drunk and would much rather spend his time getting drunk than working....Hard to argue with that.....Pretty cool old guy actually.

 

[skillz]

I also made the mistake once of taking a small American flag that was on a toothpick from a homeless guy in Atlanta. I never got hounded so bad afterwards about making a "donation" to him for the flag he just gave me. Never made that mistake again, or even entertained the offer to take the "Street News" newspaper or whatever the heck it's called. I've seen people regret taking that since they are hounded to pay for the paper once they take it.

 

[Mister Martie]

Trying to negotiate the streets of downtown Chicago without getting dragged into a 10-minute conversation about gay rights by some college kid with a clipboard will harden you to the reality that stopping and listening to strangers is the worst thing ever.

Excellent posting.

 

[Osaurus]

Him: Could you spare some cash, I haven't eaten in 3 days?

Drunk me: 3 days huh? Ok, I'm hungry too, let's go into this gyro place, I'll buy you a sandwich.

Him: um, what? I don't eat meat

Me: get the #### out of here.

I still went in, as he made me hungry

Made similar offers to street folks, but they declined every time.....hmmmm

I keep an extra sandwich with me in my car at all times. If they refuse it I throw it at them as I drive away.

Pearls of wisdom LH.

 

[jhib]

In Toronto over the summer, I gave a toonie to some guy who was with a couple of teens on the street handing out pamphlets about the history of civil rights. Supposedly, the money was for books for needy kids. As I was approaching, he put out his hand to shake and said he could tell I had a little bit of Black in me. How could I say no to that?

Of course, the guy's never seen me (try to) jump.

My wife just laughed at me and told me I was way too easy.

 

[gianmarco]

Trying to negotiate the streets of downtown Chicago without getting dragged into a 10-minute conversation about gay rights by some college kid with a clipboard will harden you to the reality that stopping and listening to strangers is the worst thing ever.

Agreed. Cell phones are great because you can see those activists on the horizon and pretend to be on the phone to avoid talking to them. If they catch me off guard before I can get on my phone, I just tell them, "Explosive diarrhea, can't stop."

I don't tell them. I show them.

 

[kentric]

Trying to negotiate the streets of downtown Chicago without getting dragged into a 10-minute conversation about gay rights by some college kid with a clipboard will harden you to the reality that stopping and listening to strangers is the worst thing ever.

Agreed. Cell phones are great because you can see those activists on the horizon and pretend to be on the phone to avoid talking to them. If they catch me off guard before I can get on my phone, I just tell them, "Explosive diarrhea, can't stop."

I don't tell them. I show them.

This one upsmanship has to stop.

Did is smell badly?

 

[Annyong]

Hell I dont even buy candy from kids selling it for their baseball team.

Really? I ALWAYS buy candy from kids for their baseball team. Half the time I let them keep the candy.