I'm done. Seriously. Never again. (1 Viewer)

[bostonfred]

Turned 40 recently. Realized there are some things that are no longer on the menu in my life. I'm probably not going to close out a bar anytime soon, but maybe. I'm probably not going to wear a condom again. But one thing i think is permanently off the list? Somersaults. I can't tell you the last time I did one but I can tell you that it was the last time I will ever have done one.

Any others?

 

[Parrothead]

pick up tackle football games

 

[joffer]

Murtaugh List

for me.....snowboarding

 

[Baloney Sandwich]

I'm done with Double Dutch

 

[jamny]

I always wanted to skydive but I don't think that'll be happening.

 

[Limp Ditka]

I'll never go through puberty again.

 

[Cliff Clavin]

Tried doing a somersault the other day while playing with my daughter... it didn't end well.

 

[arrow1]

running a 4 minute mile

 

[fatguyinalittlecoat]

#### that, I'm 42 and I'm planning to start doing stuff I've never done before, not the opposite. Some time in the next year I will close out a bar while wearing a condom and doing a somersault.

 

[joffer]

#### that, I'm 42 and I'm planning to start doing stuff I've never done before, not the opposite. Some time in the next year I will close out a bar while wearing a condom and doing a somersault.

:challengeaccepted:

 

[jomar]

dunking on a 10 foot rim has passed me by. I can still do it on a 9 foot but usually hurt myself in the process so even that is on the outs.

 

[comfortably numb]

Staying up til 2AM to watch the Mets

 

[moleculo]

I'm as good once as I ever was.

I haven't closed down a bar in a long time, but it could certainly happen if I was with a few particular group of friends. I will definitely never wear a condom again, so that's a good one (what am I, a sailor?). somersaults? I do them on a weekly basis, so no big deal there.

here's what I can come up with:

* pass a vision test without glasses

* spend all day playing video games

* drink malt liquor (Colt 45, Olde English, etc)

* write more than a paragraph by hand

 

[Thorn]

FRED!

 

[TobiasFunke]

#### that, I'm 42 and I'm planning to start doing stuff I've never done before, not the opposite. Some time in the next year I will close out a bar while wearing a condom and doing a somersault.

Pretty good chance you'll fall asleep on a couch in the corner and someone will have to roll you out, so you're 2/3rds of the way there already.

 

[bostonfred]

FRED!

Don't say that. You can still do me anytime.

 

[fatguyinalittlecoat]

#### that, I'm 42 and I'm planning to start doing stuff I've never done before, not the opposite. Some time in the next year I will close out a bar while wearing a condom and doing a somersault.

Pretty good chance you'll fall asleep on a couch in the corner and someone will have to roll you out, so you're 2/3rds of the way there already.

Yeah, I might need to find a bar that shuts down at 8:30 to pull this off.

 

[sho nuff]

Tried doing a somersault the other day while playing with my daughter... it didn't end well.

It better be on a very soft surface.

 

[bostonfred]

#### that, I'm 42 and I'm planning to start doing stuff I've never done before, not the opposite. Some time in the next year I will close out a bar while wearing a condom and doing a somersault.

Pretty good chance you'll fall asleep on a couch in the corner and someone will have to roll you out, so you're 2/3rds of the way there already.

That's the easy part. There's no chance a rubber maintains adhesion over his wookie man fur.

 

[AAABatteries]

Trampolines and water skiing

 

[AAABatteries]

These little blade scooter things all the kids have. I tried it once a couple years back and just about killed myself.

 

[TheIronSheik]

Use a BMX bike and a makeshift ramp to jump 6 of my buddies laying down in the street.

 

[[icon]]

Use a BMX bike and a makeshift ramp to jump 6 of my buddies laying down in the street.

Did that yesterday. I now have 3 buddies and an arm cast.

 

[spreagle]

1. Fishing in the fog in the Lake Michigan shipping lanes (close call).

2. Voting for a presidential RINO.

3. Deer hunt from an enclosed blind. It's like wearing a full body plywood condom.

4. Ignore strange aches and pains and hope they go away (lyme disease experience).

 

[Abraham]

dunking on a 10 foot rim has passed me by. I can still do it on a 9 foot but usually hurt myself in the process so even that is on the outs.

 

[fantasycurse42]

dunking on a 10 foot rim has passed me by. I can still do it on a 9 foot but usually hurt myself in the process so even that is on the outs.

I'm 32 and this one has passed me by, pretty upsetting as my body is already in a decline.

 

[fantasycurse42]

Trampolines and water skiing

My buddy has a gigantic trampoline in his back yard. I was there this summer, this one is prob off the list too.

 

[[icon]]

I'm 32 and this one has passed me by, pretty upsetting as my body is already in a decline.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cFRk0FfaQi0

 

[johnnycakes]

Skiing/snowboarding in the terrain parks.

 

[Ditkaless Wonders]

Kill a man

Winter camping

Teen-aged girls

Tackle football

Sprint

Corbetts

Nude modeling

 

[moleculo]

dunking on a 10 foot rim has passed me by. I can still do it on a 9 foot but usually hurt myself in the process so even that is on the outs.

I'm 32 and this one has passed me by, pretty upsetting as my body is already in a decline.

me too.

Of course, I couldn't dunk on a 9' rim when I was 25, so...

 

[Quez]

My BIL got one of those giant inflatable water slides for my nieces 1yo Bday party a few months ago. My wife went down it and, her hand got caught on a strap, and she got a small fracture.

I am going to go ahead and mark down inflatable water slides for the Quez family. I had no interest in going down it. I know nothing good ever comes from doing stuff like that when boozing. Wife had to learn the hard way. She had a brace for a month.

 

[McGarnicle]

I can't really deal with the superhero / comic book type movies.

Handjobs.

Petty crimes like shoplifting, vandalism, smoking weed in the car, etc.

 

[Zow]

At 32, the one that really stands out to me is pulling an all nighter. In my twenties I didn't do it often, but when I did it didn't seem like a big deal. Did it last a couple years ago when I had a all night softball tourney and a 6 am tee time.

Was fun at the time, but took me like a week to recover. Never again.

 

[flysack]

Two chicks at the same time.

 

[RedmondLonghorn]

I can't really deal with the superhero / comic book type movies.

Handjobs.

Petty crimes like shoplifting, vandalism, smoking weed in the car, etc.

:(

That's too bad, I heard you were really good at those.

 

[tuffnutt]

I can't really deal with the superhero / comic book type movies.

Handjobs.

Petty crimes like shoplifting, vandalism, smoking weed in the car, etc.

:(

That's too bad, I heard you were really good at those.

 

[McGarnicle]

I can't really deal with the superhero / comic book type movies.Handjobs.

Petty crimes like shoplifting, vandalism, smoking weed in the car, etc.

:(

That's too bad, I heard you were really good at those.

I knew someone would run with that.

 

[flysack]

I can't really deal with the superhero / comic book type movies.

Handjobs.

Petty crimes like shoplifting, vandalism, smoking weed in the car, etc.

:(

That's too bad, I heard you were really good at those.

All my dreams have retired to the old folks home.

 

[The General]

Not being able to close out a bar? That's something you can do at any age.

 

[PIK95]

I can't really deal with the superhero / comic book type movies.Handjobs.

Petty crimes like shoplifting, vandalism, smoking weed in the car, etc.

:(

That's too bad, I heard you were really good at those.

I knew someone would run with that.

But seriously, why is that on the list?

 

[Copeman]

Getting up out of bed/couch/chair, without making grunting noises.

 

[RedmondLonghorn]

I can't really deal with the superhero / comic book type movies.Handjobs.

Petty crimes like shoplifting, vandalism, smoking weed in the car, etc.

:(

That's too bad, I heard you were really good at those.

I knew someone would run with that.

But seriously, why is that on the list?

Because handjobs are terrrible.

Who can do that to you better than you can? (other than McGarnicle, obviously)

 

[Limp Ditka]

Not being able to close out a bar? That's something you can do at any age.

Close out a bar Probably happens about once a month and I'm 45

 

[Zow]

Not being able to close out a bar? That's something you can do at any age.

I have zero desire to stay awake until 2 am drinking. Not because it's not fun, but because I know it'll ruin the next day.

 

[PIK95]

I can't really deal with the superhero / comic book type movies.Handjobs.

Petty crimes like shoplifting, vandalism, smoking weed in the car, etc.

:(

That's too bad, I heard you were really good at those.

I knew someone would run with that.

But seriously, why is that on the list?

Because handjobs are terrrible.

The girls are doing it wrong then.

 

[top dog]

I'm 41 and sitting at home recovering from my 3rd knee surgery since 2007. I'm thinking the basketball days and somersaults are long over

 

[McGarnicle]

I can't really deal with the superhero / comic book type movies.Handjobs.

Petty crimes like shoplifting, vandalism, smoking weed in the car, etc.

:(

That's too bad, I heard you were really good at those.

I knew someone would run with that.

But seriously, why is that on the list?

Handies are the consolation prize when your 8th grade gf is too much of a prude to do anything else. Do adults bother with HJ's?

 

[Leroy Hoard]

dunking on a 10 foot rim has passed me by. I can still do it on a 9 foot but usually hurt myself in the process so even that is on the outs.

I like to post up against little kids and show them how to dunk on their 6 foot rims.

 

[TheIronSheik]

I'm 41 and sitting at home recovering from my 3rd knee surgery since 2007. I'm thinking the basketball days and somersaults are long over

Quitter.