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I'm living my best/worst life (1 Viewer)
- Thread starter Nipsey
- Start date
Dr. Octopus
Footballguy
I voted “best life” given the two choices but it would be disingenuous for me to really claim this is my “best life”.
Don Quixote
Footballguy
I don’t know you well enough to vote.
The Z Machine
Footballguy
yesno
IvanKaramazov
Footballguy
There's always room for improvement and I can identify a few choices that I'd do differently if I had them to do over again, but things are good overall.
SWC
Bromigo
im getting on five years sober taking better care of myself than five years ago spending time with my family and kicking it in the rear end at work way ahead of schedule on my mortgage and trying my level best to be good to others and to be fully actualized and to follow the path of the brohan could i do better yes but i am on a multi year run of giving a damn and thats all i can hope for take that to the bank brohans
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Zow
Footballguy
Yep.
nirad3
Footballguy
Same. If I had to pick one, it'd unfortunately be the "worst" option. I'm not really in the best of spots right now and haven't been in a decade.
Jayrod
Footballguy
I'm fighting off depression....again.
But compared to 99.9999% of humanity in the history of the world, my life is amazing.
2 healthy teenagers who don't hate me, a beautiful healthy and good wife who let's me enjoy her 3-5 x's a month and a work from home job that provides good income with lots of flexibility.
Basically I'm just a whiny *****.
But compared to 99.9999% of humanity in the history of the world, my life is amazing.
2 healthy teenagers who don't hate me, a beautiful healthy and good wife who let's me enjoy her 3-5 x's a month and a work from home job that provides good income with lots of flexibility.
Basically I'm just a whiny *****.
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BobbyLayne
Footballguy
Chiefs are 9-0, how many bad days can you be having?
BobbyLayne
Footballguy
Ditto. Every day. Along with the other members of the combat trinity, Anxiety & PTSD.
Living my best life. When you don’t feel that way - most days tbh - speak it into existence. Words are arrows, they have power, and negative ones are boomerangs.
Negativity can play on a continuous loop 24/7/365. You have to finds ways (tools) to interrupt your own state.
Sounds pithy, I know. Just sharing what works for me.
Two things I have found helpful (& I am presuming you are a professing believer so it might help you):
It’s important to listen to your body. What happens to you physiologically when you are experiencing anger, euphoria, hurt, joy, mourning, pleasure, resentment. Learn to identify and access the sensations that accompany different feelings. Those are guideposts to let you know where your mind/thoughts might head if we don’t take captive of the processing.
Your feelings are your feelings. Not much you can do there; it is what it is. But your feelings + how your body reacts will spur thoughts.
Now thoughts - that’s different from feelings, we can control that, somewhat, and with practice. If we allow thoughts to run wild on their own though…that’s where we get you do what you do because you think what you think.
I don’t want to go too far down the rabbit hole, so I’ll leave it there before I lose ya lol.
Two things I have found helpful (& I am presuming you are a professing believer so it might help you):
- “For though we walk in the flesh, we are not waging war according to the flesh. For the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but have divine power to destroy strongholds. We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ, being ready to punish every disobedience, when your obedience is complete.”
2 Corinthians 10:3-6 ESV
2 Corinthians 10:3-6 For though we walk in the flesh, we are not waging war according to the flesh. For the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but have divine power to destroy strongholds. We destroy arguments an | English Standard Version 2
For though we walk in the flesh, we are not waging war according to the flesh. For the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but have divine power to destroy strongholds. We destroy arguments anbible.com - We do what we do, because we think what we think, because we feel what we feel.
It’s important to listen to your body. What happens to you physiologically when you are experiencing anger, euphoria, hurt, joy, mourning, pleasure, resentment. Learn to identify and access the sensations that accompany different feelings. Those are guideposts to let you know where your mind/thoughts might head if we don’t take captive of the processing.
Your feelings are your feelings. Not much you can do there; it is what it is. But your feelings + how your body reacts will spur thoughts.
Now thoughts - that’s different from feelings, we can control that, somewhat, and with practice. If we allow thoughts to run wild on their own though…that’s where we get you do what you do because you think what you think.
I don’t want to go too far down the rabbit hole, so I’ll leave it there before I lose ya lol.
Peak
Footballguy
Ask me 10 years ago and I'd say Best. Now, it feels like the Worst. I'm in a similar boat as @Jayrod - Kids are great, good hybrid job with a lot of flexibility, it's the wife thing that's different for me. Thoughts around that are highly negative and driving what should be good things to turn negative very quickly. Trying to figure out how to navigate these feelings and thoughts and get back to the bright side of life.
Max Power
Footballguy
Thats a tough one for sure. Does she know you're unhappy? I avoided some tough conversations with my ex wife for years before our whole relationship just kind of fell apart. There will never be a perfect time to start the conversation, you'll have to make your own opportunity.
Whatever way things go, just know there are better days ahead.
Peak
Footballguy
Ya...she knows. We've had some knock out sessions lately, with me telling her how I feel and where I am at - but it all ends the same. We're basically living separated under the same roof right now. It sucks. I don't want to leave, but I don't see any other way of how this turns out.
fightingillini
Footballguy
My worst life was in high school. It was 4 forgettable and at times painful years. I have not spoke to anyone from high school in 26 years.....and don't really have an interest to change that.
My best life was in the 90s I was 20-29 years old. Best time of my life. Partied my a$$ off. Tons of fun. Started the 90s in college.....ended the 90s getting married.
Today......recently divorced, moved to Phoenix....and love it. I can do what I want when I want to do it.....with financial constraints of course. New girlfriend to share experiences with
So currently, I agree with belljr.....best, no, happy yes. Closer to best than worst.
My best life was in the 90s I was 20-29 years old. Best time of my life. Partied my a$$ off. Tons of fun. Started the 90s in college.....ended the 90s getting married.
Today......recently divorced, moved to Phoenix....and love it. I can do what I want when I want to do it.....with financial constraints of course. New girlfriend to share experiences with
So currently, I agree with belljr.....best, no, happy yes. Closer to best than worst.
The General
Footballguy
Pretty...pretty....pretty good. Always room for improvement.
Peggy
Footballguy
Always hated the saying "no regrets". Life is full of learning from mistakes. Everyone has things they'd do better if they had to do it all over. Everyone.
-OZ-
Footballguy
Learning from mistakes doesn’t mean having regrets.
Regrets, I've had a few
But then again, too few to mention
I did what I had to do
And saw it through without exemption
I planned each charted course
Each careful step along the byway
And more, much more than this
I did it my way
-OZ-
Footballguy
Very similar here, minus the
5 healthy kids who seem to put up with us enough to actually think we’re good parents.
60% telework (we’ll see if that changes after January), could retire but prefer to spend more right now.
But yeah, depression sucks. for me it’s mostly SAD and we’re heading into the worst.
Peggy
Footballguy
Maybe I said that wrong. But everyone has done things they aren't proud of, right. Or even things they could have done better.
Oh my life was so perfect I'd wouldn't do anything different doesn't compute.
Gatorade
Footballguy
Hang in there. Every relationship goes thru peaks and valleys. It requires work to keep a relationship strong. Prayer helps. If not to heal the relationship, at least to give you peace of mind. Stay strong.
nirad3
Footballguy
I have a lot of positives in my life. My job, while stressful at times, allows me to travel (which I love) and I'm in an industry I really like, doing something that I really like. So there's that.
My kids... eh... there's ups and downs. 12-year old boy whose hormones are going nuts, but he's still my sweet little man and I'm proud of what he's done so far in life. My daughter (13, 14 in February) is a rock star. She is motivated, social, and a sports nut. Crazy good at volleyball. We've had some "communication" issues in the past but things are actually OK right now. I'd like them to get better, though, because she's my "baby girl" and always will be.
Where things slide off the cliff is with being in a "co-parent" situation with my wife. We sleep in separate rooms and haven't have sexy fun time in a decade. If we didn't live in expensive-as-hell SoCal and/or if she had a better-paying job, things would be different. At minimum we would be separated and I'd have my own place. I daydream about it all the time. I've "interacted" with some ladies but nothing has come of it. Went on a "date", nothing. Had a couple of ladies interested from a college Facebook group, but distance have made those kind of go nowhere. So... I'm lonely, I guess it the crux of it.
So definitely not living my best life. My kids give me joy and I love hanging out with friends, but I rarely see my best friends and most of my "fun" comes from just hanging out at home watching football while having a few cocktails.
I have a long-term plan in mind... once the kids are graduated from HS and out on their own I want to move back to central Texas. I found a cool little spot about an hour from Austin that I could totally see myself living in. I'd buy an RV and drive to see friends in Denver, Atlanta, etc. and HOPEFULLY be able to retain my current gig. I feel at that point I'd be living my best life once again.
Thanks for listening.
My kids... eh... there's ups and downs. 12-year old boy whose hormones are going nuts, but he's still my sweet little man and I'm proud of what he's done so far in life. My daughter (13, 14 in February) is a rock star. She is motivated, social, and a sports nut. Crazy good at volleyball. We've had some "communication" issues in the past but things are actually OK right now. I'd like them to get better, though, because she's my "baby girl" and always will be.
Where things slide off the cliff is with being in a "co-parent" situation with my wife. We sleep in separate rooms and haven't have sexy fun time in a decade. If we didn't live in expensive-as-hell SoCal and/or if she had a better-paying job, things would be different. At minimum we would be separated and I'd have my own place. I daydream about it all the time. I've "interacted" with some ladies but nothing has come of it. Went on a "date", nothing. Had a couple of ladies interested from a college Facebook group, but distance have made those kind of go nowhere. So... I'm lonely, I guess it the crux of it.
So definitely not living my best life. My kids give me joy and I love hanging out with friends, but I rarely see my best friends and most of my "fun" comes from just hanging out at home watching football while having a few cocktails.
I have a long-term plan in mind... once the kids are graduated from HS and out on their own I want to move back to central Texas. I found a cool little spot about an hour from Austin that I could totally see myself living in. I'd buy an RV and drive to see friends in Denver, Atlanta, etc. and HOPEFULLY be able to retain my current gig. I feel at that point I'd be living my best life once again.
Thanks for listening.
Mister CIA
Footballguy
Maybe he drafted a lot of Chiefs for his fantasy team.
the moops
Footballguy
Then why are you so cranky in here most of the time?
ren hoek
Footballguy
Voted worst, I confess. But mainly because I need to clean my apartment & it's a more accurate poll option than "best".
Always been a glass half-full guy. I've always struggled with that. Lately I've just been feeling lethargic. Like what is the point even? I don't think it's depression perse, more like 'wow is this really it'. Went through a breakup last December and never really recovered. I don't think I even have the energy for these dating programs anymore. Went to jail in January for a dui, but made it through probation. I try to play it safe anymore.
I talk to a lot of people and I think most of them would assess me as having good character. I have some nice friends at a bar around here, but most of the time it seems like our relationship begins & ends there. I got to experimenting with some things for the first time this summer, and that was fun. But every time I was done partying all I wanted was to feel clean again. It's the only real place I've felt a sense of community. Behold how cool I am, a regular at a bar!
I've checked in at the ymca 187 times this year. Rode my bicycle 1,000 miles. Cooked a lot. Read a little and gone for walks in the park and stuff. Fed the birds. It just seems like I've put forth so much effort and I don't know what for. But it feels good to vent and I appreciate you humoring me.
It's a cold world, and it's been a tough year. But I'm still standing anyway. Life is grand!
Always been a glass half-full guy. I've always struggled with that. Lately I've just been feeling lethargic. Like what is the point even? I don't think it's depression perse, more like 'wow is this really it'. Went through a breakup last December and never really recovered. I don't think I even have the energy for these dating programs anymore. Went to jail in January for a dui, but made it through probation. I try to play it safe anymore.
I talk to a lot of people and I think most of them would assess me as having good character. I have some nice friends at a bar around here, but most of the time it seems like our relationship begins & ends there. I got to experimenting with some things for the first time this summer, and that was fun. But every time I was done partying all I wanted was to feel clean again. It's the only real place I've felt a sense of community. Behold how cool I am, a regular at a bar!
I've checked in at the ymca 187 times this year. Rode my bicycle 1,000 miles. Cooked a lot. Read a little and gone for walks in the park and stuff. Fed the birds. It just seems like I've put forth so much effort and I don't know what for. But it feels good to vent and I appreciate you humoring me.
It's a cold world, and it's been a tough year. But I'm still standing anyway. Life is grand!
the moops
Footballguy
This all sounds incredible. You should feel wonderful about these things and we should celebrate you!
BobbyLayne
Footballguy
That's the journey everyone is on. Honestly, anyone who ever lived and had mental capacity has sought to find meaning to their life.
Thousands of books and hundreds of films have tried to illustrate the human condition. Spent a few hours in a theatre last night watching a revival of Our Town - maybe the greatest American play of all time, a meta story that seems to be about the banality of life in a small town devoid of culture or anything interesting. But by the 3rd act we realize there are magical moments that should be cherished throughout our lives, however ordinary they may seem. Sometimes we're just too busy living to notice.
Discovering the why to life is a powerful aphrodisiac. Or maddenly frustrating. But it's one thing virtually everyone has experienced, to varying degrees.
Max Power
Footballguy
I feel for you man. I went through something similar with my ex. We were "roommates" for years before finally committing to end it. We took a break for a while and that actually helped bring us back together for a little while, but ultimately we fell back into our old ways.
The divorce was a new low for me at the time, but I found the right woman a couple years later and it changed my life for the better. Both my ex and I moved on to better relationships and we're still friends today.
Fat Nick
Footballguy
Best for sure. So much so that it kind of scares me.
Kids are 10 and 7 - I think great ages. They're still kids, and parents are still "cool," but they're also independent and their own people. Work has been great. Took a new role a year ago that has fantastic work/life balance, legitimate schedule flexibility, and fantastic upward visibility and momentum with a clear succession plan for my next step. My wife is great, things around the house are good. My only real complaint is I feel "older" the last few years physically - a lot less energy and motivation, more aches, etc.
The concern for me is truthfully that the kids are going to want less to do with us at some point, and I can't stay 100% in this role at work forever....I need to make sure I enjoy this while I can.
Kids are 10 and 7 - I think great ages. They're still kids, and parents are still "cool," but they're also independent and their own people. Work has been great. Took a new role a year ago that has fantastic work/life balance, legitimate schedule flexibility, and fantastic upward visibility and momentum with a clear succession plan for my next step. My wife is great, things around the house are good. My only real complaint is I feel "older" the last few years physically - a lot less energy and motivation, more aches, etc.
The concern for me is truthfully that the kids are going to want less to do with us at some point, and I can't stay 100% in this role at work forever....I need to make sure I enjoy this while I can.
FairWarning
Footballguy
They only win one day a week.
ChiefD
Footballguy
Yeah, this is a real thing. My first child went off to college this year, the 16 year old is off like a wild man in a world with hockey, fishing, and girls, and my 14 year old is in hormones.
The cool part though is it's afforded my wife and I to go off and do things together more often now that they have their own agendas. So we've gone out more, gone exploring up here, and just been together more. So there is a trade-off for sure.
ChiefD
Footballguy
laugh emoji - like I really laughed at this.
FairWarning
Footballguy
Due to job uncertainty, worst. I have seen little reward over the last 10 years, but that’s life.
Don't forget he is in Wisconsin now
ChiefD
Footballguy
Man, I love it up here. Since I've been here since April:
1. Have seen the northern lights a half dozen times. My wife and kids have finally gotten to see them for the first time.
2. Caught a 47" muskie
3. Fished last weekend in 45 degree, misty weather with my 16 year old. Would have never fished on that kind of day in Kansas.
4. Seen 9 deer at a time walk through our front yard
7. Seen about 20 turkeys walk through our front yard
8. Gone to a Friday fish fry multiple times at the (2) bars that are less than a mile from my house
9. Seen the incredible fall colors from an observation tower from the highest point in Wisconsin
10. Felt absolute quiet for the first time in a long time
I've "lived" more here in the last 7 months than I did in the last 15 years in KC.
I know you are just busting my balls, but this is a great place.
until February
B Maverick
Footballguy
Sometimes maybe yes, sometimes maybe no.
Wouldn't say my worst life as I have some good things going on (Kid, family, work, girlfriend, health, etc)
But definitely not my best life. Can't complain though because it's my own fault. You get out what you put in right? Putting enough in to be ok with things, not enough to say "best" life.
Wouldn't say my worst life as I have some good things going on (Kid, family, work, girlfriend, health, etc)
But definitely not my best life. Can't complain though because it's my own fault. You get out what you put in right? Putting enough in to be ok with things, not enough to say "best" life.
BobbyLayne
Footballguy
Man, I love it up here. Since I've been here since April:
1. Have seen the northern lights a half dozen times. My wife and kids have finally gotten to see them for the first time.
2. Caught a 47" muskie
3. Fished last weekend in 45 degree, misty weather with my 16 year old. Would have never fished on that kind of day in Kansas.
4. Seen 9 deer at a time walk through our front yard
7. Seen about 20 turkeys walk through our front yard
8. Gone to a Friday fish fry multiple times at the (2) bars that are less than a mile from my house
9. Seen the incredible fall colors from an observation tower from the highest point in Wisconsin
10. Felt absolute quiet for the first time in a long time
I've "lived" more here in the last 7 months than I did in the last 15 years in KC.
I know you are just busting my balls, but this is a great place.
until February
Sounds an awful lot like mid & west Michigan. That’s my kind of living. Been in NYC for a quarter century but looking forward to retirement in the mitten.
-OZ-
Footballguy
It’s the trade off we choose. Except living in Kansas where it’s both brutally hot and cold.
I’ll take melting in the summer.
-OZ-
Footballguy
Definitely not SE MI.It's kind of a weird question when I really think about it. What is really "living your best/worst life"? I am not really sure what either of those things mean.
For me, I really don't have deep meaning what is life type thoughts? I really don't care much about that. I take every day as it is and just live. I really try not to dwell much on anything to big or small.
Work is just that. I like my job and coworkers. There are frustrations sometimes but in the grand scheme of things tomorrow will happen and things will move on.
Family: Two kids. One is married with three step kids. Not the ideal path but she is happy. She has always been "mom" to those around her and sometimes that has been to her detriment (her brother hated when she did that and their relationship is more acquaintance that friend because of that). I admit she is hard to live with and be around. We all have a much better relationship when it's at a distance. Proud of her for what she has accomplished even if I wish she would push to do a little more (career wise).
Son is in first year of college. Having a great time and doing extremely well. He is in another state but he is thoroughly enjoying the area, loves the school, and his friends (new teammates as he is on the baseball team and they have a really close group of freshman that all get along great). So proud of him.
So I am an empty nester. Wife and I are enjoying it as we are both pretty laid back. We do what we want. We relax a lot. Getting ready for retirement in less than 5 years. All good.
Now is it my "best" life? I have no idea. But I am not lacking for anything. Could I do more? Could I be in better shape? Sure. But it's pretty darn fine how things are.
For me, I really don't have deep meaning what is life type thoughts? I really don't care much about that. I take every day as it is and just live. I really try not to dwell much on anything to big or small.
Work is just that. I like my job and coworkers. There are frustrations sometimes but in the grand scheme of things tomorrow will happen and things will move on.
Family: Two kids. One is married with three step kids. Not the ideal path but she is happy. She has always been "mom" to those around her and sometimes that has been to her detriment (her brother hated when she did that and their relationship is more acquaintance that friend because of that). I admit she is hard to live with and be around. We all have a much better relationship when it's at a distance. Proud of her for what she has accomplished even if I wish she would push to do a little more (career wise).
Son is in first year of college. Having a great time and doing extremely well. He is in another state but he is thoroughly enjoying the area, loves the school, and his friends (new teammates as he is on the baseball team and they have a really close group of freshman that all get along great). So proud of him.
So I am an empty nester. Wife and I are enjoying it as we are both pretty laid back. We do what we want. We relax a lot. Getting ready for retirement in less than 5 years. All good.
Now is it my "best" life? I have no idea. But I am not lacking for anything. Could I do more? Could I be in better shape? Sure. But it's pretty darn fine how things are.
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