I'm the only customer in a coffee shop in a town I'd never heard of until today in Arizona. AMA for the next half hour. (1 Viewer)

[Henry Ford]

Title says it all.  Bored, drinking coffee in a coffee and cake shop in Green Valley, Arizona.  I will answer questions until my coffee is gone.

 

[northern exposure]

Obvious one. Why are you there?

 

[Henry Ford]

Obvious one. Why are you there?

An old friend is dying and lives in a nearby retirement community.  Came to see him one last time.

There are no hotels in his community, so I found the nearest one that doesn't look like a murder house.

 

[Henry Ford]

Narrator: however, upon entering, it turned out it may actually be a murder house.

 

[northern exposure]

I'm not a coffee drinker, so tell us about the selection of cakes. Are there other baked goods?

 

[tri-man 47]

I see you're not far (30-40 minutes?) from the border at Nogales.  Curious if it crossed your mind to drive down and see what border security looks like down there.

 

[Henry Ford]

I'm not a coffee drinker, so tell us about the selection of cakes. Are there other baked goods?

They appear to make custom cakes.  I saw one that looked like an Aston Martin go out as I came in and it was pretty awesome.  They have a fridge in back with about a half dozen cake boxes with obviously custom cakes in them.  There are also (for public purchase) scones, truffles, cupcakes, cookies, a rather disappointing looking thing they're calling a "praline" (I'm from Louisiana - this is not a praline) and something called "silly bananas" that look like little tiny candy bananas. 

 

[Henry Ford]

I see you're not far (30-40 minutes?) from the border at Nogales.  Curious if it crossed your mind to drive down and see what border security looks like down there.

I haven't been to Nogales in 30 years, but it's always been about the same... now that you mention it, it might be cool to go check it out.  I am an hour away, though.  But driving a monster of a 4wd rental car, which is cool.

 

[tri-man 47]

I haven't been to Nogales in 30 years, but it's always been about the same... now that you mention it, it might be cool to go check it out.  I am an hour away, though.  But driving a monster of a 4wd rental car, which is cool.

Cross the border and come back and you can get your windshield washed!

 

[Zegras11]

Obvious one. Why are you there?

First off, how are you?

 

[northern exposure]

They appear to make custom cakes.  I saw one that looked like an Aston Martin go out as I came in and it was pretty awesome.  They have a fridge in back with about a half dozen cake boxes with obviously custom cakes in them.  There are also (for public purchase) scones, truffles, cupcakes, cookies, a rather disappointing looking thing they're calling a "praline" (I'm from Louisiana - this is not a praline) and something called "silly bananas" that look like little tiny candy bananas. 

No doughnuts, brownies, cinnamon buns? Is this how they do a Coffee Shop in Arizona? 

 

[Henry Ford]

Cross the border and come back and you can get your windshield washed!

"Chiclets!  Chiclets!"

 

[Henry Ford]

No doughnuts, brownies, cinnamon buns? Is this how they do a Coffee Shop in Arizona? 

I see an empty brownie area (it is almost 2 pm) and there are cinnamon buns, which I had missed before.

No doughnuts.

 

[ShamrockPride]

Decaf or regular?

 

[Henry Ford]

INTRIGUING DEVELOPMENT

The menu has cannoli on it.  If those are still around, I will be having a cannoli.

 

[Henry Ford]

Decaf or regular?

I said coffee, not brown torture water.

 

[Henry Ford]

Person behind the counter is missing.  Now I really want a cannoli.

 

[northern exposure]

INTRIGUING DEVELOPMENT

The menu has cannoli on it.  If those are still around, I will be having a cannoli.

Is Arizona known for their large Italian/Sicilian portion of the population?

 

[Henry Ford]

They are out of cannoli.

 

[Franknbeans]

Have you ever been puked on?

 

[Henry Ford]

Is Arizona known for their large Italian/Sicilian portion of the population?

If the pastry shell is good, it's pretty much the easiest dessert in the world not to screw up.

 

[Osaurus]

VW leases.  Love em or hate em?

 

[Henry Ford]

Have you ever been puked on?

Yes.

 

[Henry Ford]

VW leases.  Love em or hate em?

All vehicle leases are terrible in my opinion.  As are all new cars.  I only purchase used, low-mileage vehicles, whenever possible in cash.

 

[northern exposure]

They are out of cannoli.

Damn. Now you can't "leave the gun and take the cannoli".

 

[tri-man 47]

They are out of cannoli.

 

 

[northern exposure]

They are out of cannoli.

Maybe they have a nice tiramisu?

 

[Henry Ford]

Maybe they have a nice tiramisu?

I would not eat tiramisu here.  But they also do not sell it.

 

[AAABatteries]

How old are you?  Very sorry about your friend.

 

[Gr00vus]

How much guilt should I have about trying to not pay as much attention to politics as I have been? I find its become an unfulfilling energy sink.

 

[ShamrockPride]

Not that you can get the cannoli.....but I need to ask cause this is a highly personal issue for me.

Chocolate chip on the cannoli. Yes or no. There is only one correct answer here...

 

[Henry Ford]

Two people just came in.  I assume they are human, but they both walk like Vincent  D'Onofrio in his "Edgar suit" in Men In Black.

 

[Zegras11]

any new customers?

 

[Henry Ford]

How old are you?  Very sorry about your friend.

As old as my tongue and a little bit older than my teeth.  Thanks, he's had a good run.  He's in his late 60s.

 

[northern exposure]

All vehicle leases are terrible in my opinion.  As are all new cars.  I only purchase used, low-mileage vehicles, whenever possible in cash.

Do you buy any make of vehicle as long as it is black?

 

[Henry Ford]

Not that you can get the cannoli.....but I need to ask cause this is a highly personal issue for me.

Chocolate chip on the cannoli. Yes or no. There is only one correct answer here...

I am not at a child's birthday party, so no.

 

[Henry Ford]

Do you buy any make of vehicle as long as it is black?

In fact, I have not purchase a vehicle that was black in my entire life.  My current car is grey.

But my rental right now is black.  

 

[Henry Ford]

How much guilt should I have about trying to not pay as much attention to politics as I have been? I find its become an unfulfilling energy sink.

None, provided you vote how I would like you to this year.  Should you vote for the other people, you should never forgive yourself.

 

[ShamrockPride]

I am not at a child's birthday party, so no.

 

[Henry Ford]

Chocolate chips belong on cannoli in the exact same scenarios that sprinkles belong on a doughnut.  Should I find myself at a bachelorette party for a child bride, I will expect chocolate chips.  

 

[northern exposure]

In fact, I have not purchase a vehicle that was black in my entire life.  My current car is grey.

But my rental right now is black.  

I screwed it up. I should have said any model of vehicle, not any make of vehicle.

 

[Henry Ford]

I am finishing my coffee, but have time for a short barrage of questions.  Will stop taking any in five minutes.

 

[AAABatteries]

Woz cornhole?

 

[AAABatteries]

Do you golf?  Take your clubs?

 

[Henry Ford]

Woz cornhole?

I have actually told Woz I will never meet him in person or give him my real name.  That's actually, actually true.

 

[AAABatteries]

Caddyshack or Airplane?

 

[Henry Ford]

Do you golf?  Take your clubs?

No. And I don't have any.  I prefer a mace.

 

[Henry Ford]

Caddyshack or Airplane?

Trick question, "Top Secret!"

 

[Gr00vus]

Could you please give us your one word judgement of jazz fusion style music (Mahavishnu Orchestra, Return To Forever, etc.)?

 

[Henry Ford]

Could you please give us your one word judgement of jazz fusion style music (Mahavishnu Orchestra, Return To Forever, etc.)?

No.

That's not a refusal, that's my review.