Is Your Housewife on a Budget/Allowance? (1 Viewer)

[fantasycurse42]

For those who are married with a stay at home wife, do you give her a set amount to spend? Does she always go over?

Have you found ANY methods to curb her spending?

 

[johnnycakes]

Wife #1... spent money like crazy... almost all of it on JUNK. And there was no way to stop it. Ended up getting divorced with her financial habits being a big driver.

Wife #2.... the Chinesed one... exact opposite. I don't even worry about her spending. She's great. She's perfectly happy tending to her garden for entertainment.

Now.. it sounds like you have a story to tell, so spill it.

 

[Galileo]

Poll is flawed. If my answer to #1 is no allowance/budget, then I can not answer #2.

Anyways, my wife makes more than I do...

 

[coyote5]

Poll is flawed. If my answer to #1 is no allowance/budget, then I can not answer #2.

Anyways, my wife makes more than I do...

This poll is really more for FBGs anyway.

 

[fantasycurse42]

Wife #1... spent money like crazy... almost all of it on JUNK. And there was no way to stop it. Ended up getting divorced with her financial habits being a big driver.

Wife #2.... the Chinesed one... exact opposite. I don't even worry about her spending. She's great. She's perfectly happy tending to her garden for entertainment.

Now.. it sounds like you have a story to tell, so spill it.

No story, I'm just curious how this is handled... Over the last 5 years, our income and net worth went up drastically, and while I have continually tried to spend at the smaller level that I used to be accustomed to, she has increased to account for the new monies... While I can't blame her, as we were together when I wasn't doing as well, I wish I could curtail her spending just a little without fighting... Anonymously on the interwebs is my best way of trying to understand how others who may have more experience handle this, or if women will just always spend too much.

 

[fantasycurse42]

Poll is flawed. If my answer to #1 is no allowance/budget, then I can not answer #2.

Anyways, my wife makes more than I do...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Housewife

"A housewife is a woman whose main occupation is running or managing the family's home"

Usually this role doesn't earn money.

 

[Binky The Doormat]

I answered as if I was still working. She does not handle money well, but improved enough that she usually only went over 25% over almost always and more than that sometimes. That debit card was the ####in worst.

I handle all of it now since I retired and must say even though I abhor the lack of humility, I am magnificent at budget planning and execution.

She sells real estate. Her money is her money, and the money I made is our money. She has ponied up to pay for the kid's grade/high school.

 

[Galileo]

Poll is flawed. If my answer to #1 is no allowance/budget, then I can not answer #2.Anyways, my wife makes more than I do...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Housewife

"A housewife is a woman whose main occupation is running or managing the family's home"

Usually this role doesn't earn money.

Good point. I read it as "wife".

 

[eoMMan]

GB having a woman who makes her own dough and doesn't need my money.

And these wives who are materialistic and need the coach purses and bmw cars and what not....I really don't understand how you guys put up with it.

 

[avoiding injuries]

No specific budget. We have a joint credit card that she uses exclusively. She's pretty up front with what she spends, but when the bill comes and I go through it line by line, it usually ends up causing a conversation or two.

 

[FUBAR]

No budget. I trust her completely and she's proven to be trustworthy over the past 17 years.

I spend a lot more than she does (though nowhere near what some of you high rollers do). I've actually had to tell her a few times that it's okay to spend money on herself.

She might spend $100 a month if that a month on things that I wouldn't deem necessary.

Yeah, I'm a lucky man in this regard.

 

[mquinnjr]

Wife #1... spent money like crazy... almost all of it on JUNK. And there was no way to stop it. Ended up getting divorced with her financial habits being a big driver.

Wife #2.... the Chinesed one... exact opposite. I don't even worry about her spending. She's great. She's perfectly happy tending to her garden for entertainment.

Now.. it sounds like you have a story to tell, so spill it.

No story, I'm just curious how this is handled... Over the last 5 years, our income and net worth went up drastically, and while I have continually tried to spend at the smaller level that I used to be accustomed to, she has increased to account for the new monies... While I can't blame her, as we were together when I wasn't doing as well, I wish I could curtail her spending just a little without fighting... Anonymously on the interwebs is my best way of trying to understand how others who may have more experience handle this, or if women will just always spend too much.

Are you both in the same ballpark earnings wise? If so, this will be tough. If not, don't flat out point the finger. Do a "budget review" of your finances, and round-about work around to her spending vs. yours. Have a goal in mind, like, "Wow, I really want to increase our retirement/taxable savings by x% over XYZ years." "I would love to take a trip (here), etc. With the windfall in my income, we should be there already, but we're not. Mind if we take a look at things and see why/how we can get there, mrsfantasycurse?"

 

[eoMMan]

Just tell her you want to be a baller on a budget and she needs to tighten this #### up.

 

[bentley]

We have a family budget that includes a certain amount for both of us in discretionary spending every month. If either of us wants to go over that, it's a joint discussion. Works like a charm.

 

[FUBAR]

Wife #1... spent money like crazy... almost all of it on JUNK. And there was no way to stop it. Ended up getting divorced with her financial habits being a big driver.

Wife #2.... the Chinesed one... exact opposite. I don't even worry about her spending. She's great. She's perfectly happy tending to her garden for entertainment.

Now.. it sounds like you have a story to tell, so spill it.

No story, I'm just curious how this is handled... Over the last 5 years, our income and net worth went up drastically, and while I have continually tried to spend at the smaller level that I used to be accustomed to, she has increased to account for the new monies... While I can't blame her, as we were together when I wasn't doing as well, I wish I could curtail her spending just a little without fighting... Anonymously on the interwebs is my best way of trying to understand how others who may have more experience handle this, or if women will just always spend too much.

Are you both in the same ballpark earnings wise? If so, this will be tough. If not, don't flat out point the finger. Do a "budget review" of your finances, and round-about work around to her spending vs. yours. Have a goal in mind, like, "Wow, I really want to increase our retirement/taxable savings by x% over XYZ years." "I would love to take a trip (here), etc. With the windfall in my income, we should be there already, but we're not. Mind if we take a look at things and see why/how we can get there, mrsfantasycurse?"

Communication and getting on the same page is the key. If you can both save for something you really want, it's easier to not spend on immediate wants.

that's what it was for us early in our relationship. We both want a nice house, vacations and a safety net. So we spend money on decent vacations, but not much else except my tri-habit.

 

[Patriotsfatboy1]

My wife just went back to work part time after being home for 12 years. She did not have a budget, but her spending was never an issue.

 

[mr roboto]

No budget. I trust her completely and she's proven to be trustworthy over the past 17 years.

I spend a lot more than she does (though nowhere near what some of you high rollers do). I've actually had to tell her a few times that it's okay to spend money on herself.

She might spend $100 a month if that a month on things that I wouldn't deem necessary.

Yeah, I'm a lucky man in this regard.

This. And it's not my money just because I earn it. The second it's earned it's ours.

 

[jonessed]

If you want your wife to spend less phrase the conversation as a way of saving for something else; i.e put more in the college fund, retirement, save for an investment property, etc.

 

[Zow]

My wife didn't work for about 6 months when we moved. 0 budget. 0 issues. We have very similar spending habits so it's been a non-issue. Anything I could possibly get mad at (which isn't much) she could possibly point to a comparable example of something I just bought.

 

[johnnycakes]

My wife didn't work for about 6 months when we moved. 0 budget. 0 issues. We have very similar spending habits so it's been a non-issue. Anything I could possibly get mad at (which isn't much) she could possibly point to a comparable example of something I just bought.

Please stop copying Dentist's schtick.

 

[Zow]

My wife didn't work for about 6 months when we moved. 0 budget. 0 issues. We have very similar spending habits so it's been a non-issue. Anything I could possibly get mad at (which isn't much) she could possibly point to a comparable example of something I just bought.

Please stop copying Dentist's schtick.

I didn't #### on her chest so I'm not entirely sure what you're referring to.

 

[Zow]

No budget. I trust her completely and she's proven to be trustworthy over the past 17 years.

I spend a lot more than she does (though nowhere near what some of you high rollers do). I've actually had to tell her a few times that it's okay to spend money on herself.

She might spend $100 a month if that a month on things that I wouldn't deem necessary.

Yeah, I'm a lucky man in this regard.

This. And it's not my money just because I earn it. The second it's earned it's ours.

I wish everybody who gets marries realizes this.

ETA: On second though no I don't because then people wouldn't opt to pay lawyers thousands to help them fight over hundreds.

 

[TxBuckeye]

My ex was an uncontrollable spender. Huge part of why she is the ex. My current wife, I have to kick her butt out the door to buy shoes because she'll hand me a pair and ask me to super glue the things back together. So completely opposite it is just mind-boggling.

 

[Yankee23Fan]

My wife is cheaper than me. Anything over 20 bucks is physically painful to spend money on.

Except Disney. She has an open check book for that.

 

[Dentist]

No budget. I trust her completely and she's proven to be trustworthy over the past 17 years.

I spend a lot more than she does (though nowhere near what some of you high rollers do). I've actually had to tell her a few times that it's okay to spend money on herself.

She might spend $100 a month if that a month on things that I wouldn't deem necessary.

Yeah, I'm a lucky man in this regard.

This. And it's not my money just because I earn it. The second it's earned it's ours.

I wish it was "ours" for some reason she thinks its mainly hers

 

[Statcruncher]

spent money like crazy... almost all of it on JUNK. And there was no way to stop it. Ended up getting divorced with her financial habits being a big driver.

My ex was a stay at home mom and this pretty well describes it.

 

[mr roboto]

No budget. I trust her completely and she's proven to be trustworthy over the past 17 years.

I spend a lot more than she does (though nowhere near what some of you high rollers do). I've actually had to tell her a few times that it's okay to spend money on herself.

She might spend $100 a month if that a month on things that I wouldn't deem necessary.

Yeah, I'm a lucky man in this regard.

This. And it's not my money just because I earn it. The second it's earned it's ours.

I wish it was "ours" for some reason she thinks its mainly hers

My wife was a teacher with a Masters in a nice district with 10 years in when we both decided she would stay home. At the time she's was making 70K with phenomenal insurance. I would go to work for a startup for a base of 45 with bonuses that may get me to 70K. With no insurance. We decided to do it because I got equity and it allows me to fast forward my resume. Basically given a good title and a lot of responsibility where in any larger company I could get 75K base with 150K+ total compensation. But I couldn't get that job at the time with an established company - no experience that would land me that job. So we agreed together, since we were in our early 30s, to swing for the upside. So in a sense, she gave up better short term earning potential to allow me to fast forward my resume and get equity in a company with big upside. Because of that, she's entitled to think the my income is as much hers and it is mine.

 

[Dentist]

No budget. I trust her completely and she's proven to be trustworthy over the past 17 years.

I spend a lot more than she does (though nowhere near what some of you high rollers do). I've actually had to tell her a few times that it's okay to spend money on herself.

She might spend $100 a month if that a month on things that I wouldn't deem necessary.

Yeah, I'm a lucky man in this regard.

This. And it's not my money just because I earn it. The second it's earned it's ours.

I wish it was "ours" for some reason she thinks its mainly hers

My wife was a teacher with a Masters in a nice district with 10 years in when we both decided she would stay home. At the time she's was making 70K with phenomenal insurance. I would go to work for a startup for a base of 45 with bonuses that may get me to 70K. With no insurance. We decided to do it because I got equity and it allows me to fast forward my resume. Basically given a good title and a lot of responsibility where in any larger company I could get 75K base with 150K+ total compensation. But I couldn't get that job at the time with an established company - no experience that would land me that job.So we agreed together, since we were in our early 30s, to swing for the upside. So in a sense, she gave up better short term earning potential to allow me to fast forward my resume and get equity in a company with big upside. Because of that, she's entitled to think the my income is as much hers and it is mine.

my wife is also a teacher w/ a masters in a nice district w/ 7 years when she decided to stay home w/ the baby. At the time she was making about 50K with a ton of great benefits.

I've had my same exact job since I was 23 a good 5 years before we met and 8 years before we got married... with no insurance.

She gave up better short term earning potential to allow me to make the exact same money i have been for the past several years.

Because of that she's entitled to think that my income is much more mine than hers.

 

[mr roboto]

 

[Abraham]

My wife gives me an allowance. I work, she stays home. She does our bills/budget. I don't buy anything but beer and the occasional haircut.

 

[tonydead]

No option for "Spouse makes her own money"?

 

[avoiding injuries]

My wife was a teacher with a masters as well, making close to 60k with great insurance when we had our first. She had only taught full time for 3 years because she graduated with a graphic design degree right after the tech bust and couldn't find full time work. She went back for her teaching degree/masters while I worked.

Because of this, there's always been a sense that I "controlled" more of the money, especially since I was established and already owned our house when we met.

I'd go as far to say sometimes I think she's hesitant to spend money because she feels like it's mine. Although, she's been doing a much better job lately. Ugh...

 

[bigbottom]

GB having a woman who makes her own dough and doesn't need my money.

And these wives who are materialistic and need the coach purses and bmw cars and what not....I really don't understand how you guys put up with it.

My wife doesn't earn a paycheck and she likes nice things. Doesn't bother me a bit. She does a ton for our family and she deserves nice things just as much as I do.

 

[fatguyinalittlecoat]

GB having a woman who makes her own dough and doesn't need my money.

And these wives who are materialistic and need the coach purses and bmw cars and what not....I really don't understand how you guys put up with it.

My wife doesn't earn a paycheck and she likes nice things. Doesn't bother me a bit. She does a ton for our family and she deserves nice things just as much as I do.

Well, if you have enough money for the family, it isn't really an issue. I suspect most folks are talking about a situation where the wife is buying nice things that the family really can't afford.

 

[bigbottom]

GB having a woman who makes her own dough and doesn't need my money.

And these wives who are materialistic and need the coach purses and bmw cars and what not....I really don't understand how you guys put up with it.

My wife doesn't earn a paycheck and she likes nice things. Doesn't bother me a bit. She does a ton for our family and she deserves nice things just as much as I do.

Well, if you have enough money for the family, it isn't really an issue. I suspect most folks are talking about a situation where the wife is buying nice things that the family really can't afford.

eoMMan's post addressed two things: (1) a woman spending money earned by her husband, and (2) materialism, both of which seem independent of the budget issue.

 

[FreeBaGeL]

I spend way more money on stuff we don't "need" (videogames, camera gear, etc) than my wife does.

 

[GoBirds]

Same boat as alot of guys here....Teacher wife w/masters. She was just home 6 months with our 2nd and after Summer off will go back. Stress level was defintely up while she was home, not a budgeter but also not uncontrollable spender. Damn Amazon Prime can do some damage when the wife has free time though ouch.

 

[fatguyinalittlecoat]

GB having a woman who makes her own dough and doesn't need my money.

And these wives who are materialistic and need the coach purses and bmw cars and what not....I really don't understand how you guys put up with it.

My wife doesn't earn a paycheck and she likes nice things. Doesn't bother me a bit. She does a ton for our family and she deserves nice things just as much as I do.

Well, if you have enough money for the family, it isn't really an issue. I suspect most folks are talking about a situation where the wife is buying nice things that the family really can't afford.

eoMMan's post addressed two things: (1) a woman spending money earned by her husband, and (2) materialism, both of which seem independent of the budget issue.

Yeah, I guess I was just reading between the lines. I suspect most guys are complaining about purchases they think are financially irresponsible, but maybe some guys actually get upset by their wife's spending even if they have plenty of money to afford it.

 

[sbonomo]

GB having a woman who makes her own dough and doesn't need my money.

And these wives who are materialistic and need the coach purses and bmw cars and what not....I really don't understand how you guys put up with it.

if this is what you are buying you are getting off very easy......My wife has a CC with an alloted amount she can use....Who uses cash anymore?

 

[johnnycakes]

GB having a woman who makes her own dough and doesn't need my money.

And these wives who are materialistic and need the coach purses and bmw cars and what not....I really don't understand how you guys put up with it.

if this is what you are buying you are getting off very easy......My wife has a CC with an alloted amount she can use....Who uses cash anymore?

Indeed. While my present wife - the Chinesed one - is very frugal, she does have a soft spot for Louis Vuitton. Still a bargain compared to wife #1

 

[DrJ]

What's a budget?

 

[Dentist]

Yeah, I guess I was just reading between the lines. I suspect most guys are complaining about purchases they think are financially irresponsible, but maybe some guys actually get upset by their wife's spending even if they have plenty of money to afford it.

Right! I don't buy anything nice for myself other than a very occasional cigar or bottle of booze and I don't feel like she should spend anything either.

If no one spends any money then we can retire sooner...

I loathe any spending beyond biological basics (the one luxury I approve of consistently is vacations) as it robs us of turning those into investable dollars that will be worth a lot more later on.

 

[johnnycakes]

Yeah, I guess I was just reading between the lines. I suspect most guys are complaining about purchases they think are financially irresponsible, but maybe some guys actually get upset by their wife's spending even if they have plenty of money to afford it.

Right! I don't buy anything nice for myself other than a very occasional cigar or bottle of booze and I don't feel like she should spend anything either.

If no one spends any money then we can retire sooner...

I loathe any spending beyond biological basics (the one luxury I approve of consistently is vacations) as it robs us of turning those into investable dollars that will be worth a lot more later on.

Hopefully you live to retirement. Me, personally... I know too many people who died young.

 

[DrJ]

Yeah, I guess I was just reading between the lines. I suspect most guys are complaining about purchases they think are financially irresponsible, but maybe some guys actually get upset by their wife's spending even if they have plenty of money to afford it.

Right! I don't buy anything nice for myself other than a very occasional cigar or bottle of booze and I don't feel like she should spend anything either.

If no one spends any money then we can retire sooner...

I loathe any spending beyond biological basics (the one luxury I approve of consistently is vacations) as it robs us of turning those into investable dollars that will be worth a lot more later on.

Hopefully you live to retirement. Me, personally... I know too many people who died young.

 

[FUBAR]

Yeah, I guess I was just reading between the lines. I suspect most guys are complaining about purchases they think are financially irresponsible, but maybe some guys actually get upset by their wife's spending even if they have plenty of money to afford it.

Right! I don't buy anything nice for myself other than a very occasional cigar or bottle of booze and I don't feel like she should spend anything either.

If no one spends any money then we can retire sooner...

I loathe any spending beyond biological basics (the one luxury I approve of consistently is vacations) as it robs us of turning those into investable dollars that will be worth a lot more later on.

this is a whole different subject, and one we've discussed elsewhere.

But I still don't get how / why you'd deprive yourself of everything just so you can retire earlier. Then what? Will you stop depriving yourself or sit around and get bored?

I save plenty but don't plan on not working for a long time. So we can do things we enjoy now while being comfortable in the future.

 

[Dentist]

Yeah, I guess I was just reading between the lines. I suspect most guys are complaining about purchases they think are financially irresponsible, but maybe some guys actually get upset by their wife's spending even if they have plenty of money to afford it.

Right! I don't buy anything nice for myself other than a very occasional cigar or bottle of booze and I don't feel like she should spend anything either.

If no one spends any money then we can retire sooner...

I loathe any spending beyond biological basics (the one luxury I approve of consistently is vacations) as it robs us of turning those into investable dollars that will be worth a lot more later on.

Hopefully you live to retirement. Me, personally... I know too many people who died young.

If I don't I can at least die comforted that I didn't live a life of materialism

 

[Dentist]

this is a whole different subject, and one we've discussed elsewhere.

But I still don't get how / why you'd deprive yourself of everything just so you can retire earlier. Then what? Will you stop depriving yourself or sit around and get bored?

I save plenty but don't plan on not working for a long time. So we can do things we enjoy now while being comfortable in the future.

Every day I'm at work I feel like I'm dying a little more inside (4 days a week)

Every day I'm at home I feel alive and vibrant even if I don't actually spend any money.

I don't need stuff.. I need financial independence... and time.. those are far more valuable commodities than stuff or even experiences (which in general when I do spend it's on those)

 

[johnnycakes]

this is a whole different subject, and one we've discussed elsewhere.

But I still don't get how / why you'd deprive yourself of everything just so you can retire earlier. Then what? Will you stop depriving yourself or sit around and get bored?

I save plenty but don't plan on not working for a long time. So we can do things we enjoy now while being comfortable in the future.

Every day I'm at work I feel like I'm dying a little more inside (4 days a week)

Every day I'm at home I feel alive and vibrant even if I don't actually spend any money.

I don't need stuff.. I need financial independence... and time.. those are far more valuable commodities than stuff or even experiences (which in general when I do spend it's on those)

If the bolded is true, then you don't need financial independence... you need a different career. As for me... admittedly, I'm a piece of work, but I enjoy what (little) I do for work. I really cannot envision retiring until I am physically unable to do it.

 

[FUBAR]

Yeah, I guess I was just reading between the lines. I suspect most guys are complaining about purchases they think are financially irresponsible, but maybe some guys actually get upset by their wife's spending even if they have plenty of money to afford it.

Right! I don't buy anything nice for myself other than a very occasional cigar or bottle of booze and I don't feel like she should spend anything either.

If no one spends any money then we can retire sooner...

I loathe any spending beyond biological basics (the one luxury I approve of consistently is vacations) as it robs us of turning those into investable dollars that will be worth a lot more later on.

Hopefully you live to retirement. Me, personally... I know too many people who died young.

If I don't I can at least die comforted that I didn't live a life of materialism

Materialism (adj. materialistic) is the excessive desire to acquire and consume material goods. It is often bound up with a value system which regards social status as being determined by affluence (see conspicuous consumption) as well as the perception that happiness can be increased through buying, spending and accumulating material wealth

No offense, but it seems like you do have an excessive desire to accumulate material wealth.

 

[eoMMan]

GB having a woman who makes her own dough and doesn't need my money.

And these wives who are materialistic and need the coach purses and bmw cars and what not....I really don't understand how you guys put up with it.

My wife doesn't earn a paycheck and she likes nice things. Doesn't bother me a bit. She does a ton for our family and she deserves nice things just as much as I do.

Well, if you have enough money for the family, it isn't really an issue. I suspect most folks are talking about a situation where the wife is buying nice things that the family really can't afford.

eoMMan's post addressed two things: (1) a woman spending money earned by her husband, and (2) materialism, both of which seem independent of the budget issue.

Yeah, I guess I was just reading between the lines. I suspect most guys are complaining about purchases they think are financially irresponsible, but maybe some guys actually get upset by their wife's spending even if they have plenty of money to afford it.

Exactly. If your household income is 1 million and the wifey wants to drive a 50k bmw, no biggie (and she does her share). I get it. I am more referring to the wifey who wants the 50k bmw when the household income is 100k.