Jared Lorenzen Still Playing QB (1 Viewer)

[ClownCausedChaos2]

Remember this guy from a few years back? Well, he's gotten laaaarger, and still plays QB. The Vine at the bottom is one of life's (ahem) little pleasures.

http://deadspin.com/jared-lorenzen-is-still-playing-quarterback-1515450948

 

[BigJohn]

Beefy.

 

[msommer]

'Other things of Jared Lorenzen's caliber'

 

[ClownCausedChaos2]

I'm a big fan of the "Pillsbury Throwboy" nickname.

 

[Tom Servo]

The Cleveland Browns are drawing up a contract for him right now.

 

[ChiefD]

You know your career as a D-lineman is OVER when you can't sack that guy.

 

[ClownCausedChaos2]

You know your career as a D-lineman is OVER when you can't sack that guy.

HE'S NIMBLE!

 

[D in the D]

Jared Lorenzen as a River Monster may topple John Elway as a Bronco for the title of "Quarterback that Most Resembles His Team's Nickname"

 

[parasaurolophus]

"I field several times a day the question is Jared coming back? "

-Manager Brian Schmidt, Golden Corral, Highland Heights KY.

 

[TLEF316]

The video

 

[heckmanm]

"Jared: The Galleria of Jowlry"

 

[Timmay]

However many QB sneaks/draws that teams runs, it isn't enough.

 

[Spanky267]

So they run the "Jumbo" package on every play?

 

[NewlyRetired]

The now extra hefty lefty is still more mobile than Brady or Manning

 

[ChiefD]

This is the Jared McDonalds must have hired to be their spokesman.

 

[Zow]

Reminds me of that "Ice Hockey" game where you had to choose amongst the super skinny, medium/average, and super fat guys. Lorenzen moves just like the fat guys did.

Also throwing for 81 Tds in one season at at professional level, as he did in 2011, is pretty damn impressive. Probably is a legit backup NFL qb if he ever got his weight under control.

 

[WampusCat43]

First part of this post shows what it's like to attend one of these games.

 

[Porkchop Sandwich]

BEEFTANK!!

 

[CBusAlex]

Also throwing for 81 Tds in one season at at professional level, as he did in 2011, is pretty damn impressive.

Don't watch much indoor football, do you? 81 touchdowns is about average for one game.

 

[ClownCausedChaos2]

I am not a Jim Rome fan, but he did have a great one today:

"The XFL had He Hate Me, the CIFL has He Ate Me."

 

[Leroy Hoard]

The other J-Lo.

 

[Leroy Hoard]

J-Lo²

Squared

Good catch.

 

[SacramentoBob]

Reminds me of that "Ice Hockey" game where you had to choose amongst the super skinny, medium/average, and super fat guys. Lorenzen moves just like the fat guys did.

Also throwing for 81 Tds in one season at at professional level, as he did in 2011, is pretty damn impressive. Probably is a legit backup NFL qb if he ever got his weight under control.

He was a backup for the Giants a couple of years. I think he may have even thrown a few passes.

 

[ClownCausedChaos2]

Reminds me of that "Ice Hockey" game where you had to choose amongst the super skinny, medium/average, and super fat guys. Lorenzen moves just like the fat guys did.

Also throwing for 81 Tds in one season at at professional level, as he did in 2011, is pretty damn impressive. Probably is a legit backup NFL qb if he ever got his weight under control.

He was a backup for the Giants a couple of years. I think he may have even thrown a few passes.

http://m.pfref.com/m?p=XXplayersXXLXXLoreJa00.htm

4-8 28 yards in his career.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

OMAHA STEAK!

OMAHA STEAK!

OMAHA STEAK!

 

[Zow]

Reminds me of that "Ice Hockey" game where you had to choose amongst the super skinny, medium/average, and super fat guys. Lorenzen moves just like the fat guys did.

Also throwing for 81 Tds in one season at at professional level, as he did in 2011, is pretty damn impressive. Probably is a legit backup NFL qb if he ever got his weight under control.

He was a backup for the Giants a couple of years. I think he may have even thrown a few passes.

I know that. Was just commenting that I think he coulda hung on if he every took control of his health.

 

[Hipple II]

from the comments w/ a pic

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Bfmo_lDIcAAONgc.jpg

@CardSportsZone I was at the game! Here he is wanting some nachos pic.twitter.com/RIffxsiQML

4:38 AM - 4 Feb 2014

 

[fantasycurse42]

I don't see what the big deal is, he looks good... Getting ready for an NFL comeback. Bob McNair had always been a supporter, but I think he lands in Jax.

 

[Homer J Simpson]

When he stops playing football, he's gonna be one of those people that they have to knock down a wall to get him out of the house.

 

[Premier]

BEEFTANK!!

Real life beeftank.

 

[Homer J Simpson]

And lmao X 1000 at Pillsbury Throwboy.

 

[Tom Servo]

When he stops playing football, he's gonna be one of those people that they have to knock down a wall to get him out of the house.

My 600 pound life?

 

[Homer J Simpson]

When he stops playing football, he's gonna be one of those people that they have to knock down a wall to get him out of the house.

My 600 pound life quarterback?

 

[mquinnjr]

I'm a big fan of the "Pillsbury Throwboy" nickname.

Came in to post this, so awesome.

 

[Zow]

When he stops playing football, he's gonna be one of those people that they have to knock down a wall to get him out of the house.

I think I'm gonna throw him a bone and add him to my death pool team next year.