Joe Needs Help - Young People Career Guidance - Big Topic - Help? (1 Viewer)

[Joe Bryant]

Hi Folks,

This is a big and kind of overwhelming topic so I'm asking for help.

I'm looking for some resources, best practices, helpful guides, experienced advice and such on helping people find the best careers for them.

Some if it's personal as I have four children between the ages of 18 and 24. But also because I know a ton of people who are in that age bracket or have people they care about in that age bracket. And truthfully, it's not just limited to this age bracket. 

I think I've likely failed some as a parent and I think we as society can do better in helping our young people choose a path or career. It seems like there's too much of a "jump in this stream and paddle and hope it takes you to the destination you want". I know nothing is guaranteed or certain but I also think we can probably do a bit more research on where the stream is mostly likely to end up.

I'm sure there are tons of resources out there. And I wanted to ask here what you had found. 

And I know there are a zillion variables. That's part of what seems overwhelming I guess. 

From aptitude and gifts of the person to what they desire to do with their life to available jobs to who knows.

I've also found there seems to be wild variation (unfairness?) in compensation for different careers. I know young people who seem very much on the same plane for intelligence, social skills, personality and such and some are in careers that pay tons more than the other. 

I"m not sure where this might go, but I'm asking for your help in what resources you see out there and advice or guidance you might have. 

Much thanks. 

 

[CletiusMaximus]

It seems like there's too much of a "jump in this stream and paddle and hope it takes you to the destination you want". I know nothing is guaranteed or certain but I also think we can probably do a bit more research on where the stream is mostly likely to end up.

I don't have much to add on this topic, but one comment I'll make is that I cringe a bit when I hear the common, "you can do anything you want" "follow your dreams, you can be whatever you want to be" and similar cliched advice. Its particularly grating coming from a highly successful person in an extremely competitive field, who has obviously benefited from circumstance and good fortune.  With uncertain times ahead, I feel I'm doing my kids a better service (as bad as it may sound) to say, "You can pursue your dreams in your free time, when the work is done, perhaps as a hobby. For your career, you gotta work hard and sacrifice, and its pretty rarely going to be fun."

 

[Joe Bryant]

I don't have much to add on this topic, but one comment I'll make is that I cringe a bit when I hear the common, "you can do anything you want" "follow your dreams, you can be whatever you want to be" and similar cliched advice. Its particularly grating coming from a highly successful person in an extremely competitive field, who has obviously benefited from circumstance and good fortune.  With uncertain times ahead, I feel I'm doing my kids a better service (as bad as it may sound) to say, "You can pursue your dreams in your free time, when the work is done, perhaps as a hobby. For your career, you gotta work hard and sacrifice, and its pretty rarely going to be fun."

Truth there. 

It's why I think I'm not very good at this. I realize full well I'm exceptionally fortunate to get to write about Fantasy Football for a living. I'm not the norm there. 

And it's called "work" for a reason. It's not all fun and games. On the flip side, it shouldn't be drudgery where you "put in your time" for 50 years and then finally get a reward at the end. Finding that balance of something you like doing well enough and pays a salary that fits with the kind of lifestyle you want to have is the key. 

 

[Gally]

The only real way to figure out what you like is to try a lot of things.  Part time jobs and inquiring about internships while in high school/college are good ways to try out different fields to see what interests you. 

When I was in high school I was interested in architecture.  I went to a firm and asked about getting an internship type position to get a feel for what an architect does.  It took a few places but I got an opportunity and worked for a summer doing errands and shadowing an architect.  It let me to realize it wasn't really what I wanted and that I would be happier on the engineering side of things.  So instead of applying as an architectural major I changed to Civil Engineering.  Once I was in school it was obvious I made the right choice for me.  I would never had known without getting that experience.

I also had jobs at Taco Bell, a full serve gas station, and as an electrician's apprentice.  All of which taught be some good and bad things about various industries.  I think all of that is invaluable experience and helps you grow.  I personally think every high school age kid should get a job at some sort of fast food place.  You get to learn a lot about people, work ethic, how to get along with others, how to deal with customers, etc.  It is something that all kids will learn from. 

With respect to certain careers getting paid better than others, there isn't much to do about that.  It's essentially a supply and demand based proposition.  If there are a lot of people that are willing and can do a certain job the salaries will go down because there is someone that would be willing to do the job for the lower price.  If there aren't many people that can do something or that want to do something then the price will go up because you can set your own price.   This leads me to my prediction that trades will be a very lucrative profession (it is already going higher).  Now that almost everyone is going to college and very few are learning how to do basic handyman type activities there is an inundation of college graduates that think being a plumber/electrician/carpenter is well below them.  So now there is a shortage of quality tradesmen.  That means the price for their services keeps going up.  I would recommend to any high schooler that doesn't think college is for them to look into a trade school because the trades are being paid a lot if you know what you are doing and there is a shortage so the job opportunities are very good. 

 

[ChiefD]

As a guy working in the trades, if anyone has that aptitude and is willing to work, seek them out. We are in desperate need of all types: HVAC techs, electricians, plumbers, machinists, etc. 

Seek out your local trade schools and see what interests the kids. Work with them on tools at your house when they are young. Don't automatically force them to college if they aren't the type. Don't perpetuate stereotypes about contractors.

These are well paying jobs with lifetime security.

 

[ChiefD]

And also, being in the trades means you can get into the workforce a little quicker without the crippling debt so many young people face. In addition, if kids are financially savvy, you can start contributing money into retirement plans earlier than normal.

 

[Buttonhook]

I was just thinking that I need to make sure my kids are at least exposed to coding.  It's being painted as a necessity for future jobs.

I also like the change in school curriculum that seems to promote problem-solving over standard processes and memorization.  I wish I could find fun ways to promote problem-solving around the house with my kids.

 

[GroveDiesel]

One book I think can be somewhat helpful is StrengthsFinder 2.0. Just knowing where your strengths are and what you can do with them is extremely valuable.

But to be totally honest, I think a ton of people just fall into what they're doing. I know I certainly did. I had no idea that Industrial Hygiene was even a thing until a friend approached me about a potential job.

Being willing to explore and try different jobs/fields can be very valuable in finding something that is fulfilling and best utilizes your strengths, but the offset is that it also risks starting at the lower end of the pay scale over and over.

 

[Joe Bryant]

Thanks Guys. You rock.

Do you guys know of any web sites or online resources or books that help with this kind of thing?

 

[Craig_MiamiFL]

If I had a kid, they'd be participating in trade/vocational school during high school. Even if they don't pursue a trade as a career, it gives them hands on experience that'll help in their everyday lives. There's WAAAAY too much waste in education at all levels. Truly feel bad for these kids. They keep paying more for college.....for a lot less. 

 

[Peak]

I have a sophomore in HS, and my wife and I have been trying to help her along this same path.  We're lucky in that she's found something that interests her in Forensic Science.  She really enjoys shows like Criminal Minds, or any of the forensic shows on Netflix.  She's gotten into the Psychology of it, but really likes the science behind it as well.  My wife and I have been trying to help guide her by telling her it's not an easy career path, but can be very rewarding work.  We've helped her plan her HS courses in preparation for college, and she has done her own research to identify the schools that offer the Forensic Science major, and which ones are highly regarded.  She has her first campus visit next week at her top choice and I'm very excited for her.

For my kids, I try to guide them using the "what I should have done differently" approach.  I'm a first generation college kid whose parents never progressed passed HS.  They had no idea on how to career plan - my dad went into the Navy and my mom learned to answer phones and file.  When it came time to plan for college, they had no idea what to do and told me to "do what I liked" and that "I could do anything".  Not really helpful.  I found a small, private school to attend that was local (strike 1) - but never really looked deeply into the courses or the finances of it (strike 2).  I saw they had a major I found interesting and jumped in without any considerations (strike 3).  I ended up graduating from that same college in 4 years, but changed my major my sophomore year and had to play catchup in order to not prolong college.  I was stubborn and never asked for help.  Having had many, many years to reflect on my experiences, I realized how poorly I was prepared, and how I should have done things differently.  I graduated with a useless degree in a field I never made a career of, and went back to school twice more to fill in the gaps in regards to learning business and technology.  I am paying for it to this day.

I talk to my kids openly about my poor choices and what led me to where I am today.  Some times using myself as a punchline, and other times to show them how it doesn't hurt to begin planning in HS.  Just because you start planning doesn't mean your pigeon-holed into that career.  But just thinking over likes/dislikes early will help you adjust and plan later in life.  I'm paying more now for my poor choices and lack of knowledge when I was younger.  I don't want to see my kids go through the same thing.  I want better for them.

As good as my daughter is at planning her life now in HS, my middle-school aged son just tells me he's playing professional baseball.  He won't consider anything else.  So that will be a fun conversation in two years.

 

[boots11234]

I told my kids I won’t pay for college if it’s not a STEM degree. 

If they don’t want to do that I told them there are lots of trades that earn a very good living. 

 

[GroveDiesel]

I don't have much to add on this topic, but one comment I'll make is that I cringe a bit when I hear the common, "you can do anything you want" "follow your dreams, you can be whatever you want to be" and similar cliched advice. 

Ugh. One of the most frustrating experiences when I was younger was when my parents signed me up for a career aptitude testing and counseling. There was a ton of pre-testing that I filled out where I had to rank 1-5 of not liking to liking things or other questions like that. Then I took an hours long test with a group of other students.

I was a smart kid who lazily coasted by on lucky genetics who had no idea what I was truly good at and desperately needed some pointing in some direction. 

When I finally met with the career counselor to go over my results, he basically said "you're smart enough to do whatever you want to do." (look at me!) He mumbled some stuff about being extra good at spatial reasoning, but other than "computers" he didn't have any suggestions on where that would be useful. It was a total waste of time, incredibly frustrating, and partially responsible for years of career aimlessness.

 

[beer 30]

As a guy working in the trades, if anyone has that aptitude and is willing to work, seek them out. We are in desperate need of all types: HVAC techs, electricians, plumbers, machinists, etc. 

Seek out your local trade schools and see what interests the kids. Work with them on tools at your house when they are young. Don't automatically force them to college if they aren't the type. Don't perpetuate stereotypes about contractors.

These are well paying jobs with lifetime security.

There is a huge, and I'm not being superfluous, HUGE trade gap right now. Mike Rowe has been on the forefront of this for a number of years. College isn't for everyone and shouldn't be portrayed that way. https://www.mikeroweworks.org/scholarship/

Just read this today, thought it was pretty interesting, barbers pulling gin up to $180k/yr in the Permian Basin.

 

[Gally]

I have a sophomore in HS, and my wife and I have been trying to help her along this same path.  We're lucky in that she's found something that interests her in Forensic Science.  She really enjoys shows like Criminal Minds, or any of the forensic shows on Netflix.  She's gotten into the Psychology of it, but really likes the science behind it as well.  My wife and I have been trying to help guide her by telling her it's not an easy career path, but can be very rewarding work.  We've helped her plan her HS courses in preparation for college, and she has done her own research to identify the schools that offer the Forensic Science major, and which ones are highly regarded.  She has her first campus visit next week at her top choice and I'm very excited for her.

For my kids, I try to guide them using the "what I should have done differently" approach.  I'm a first generation college kid whose parents never progressed passed HS.  They had no idea on how to career plan - my dad went into the Navy and my mom learned to answer phones and file.  When it came time to plan for college, they had no idea what to do and told me to "do what I liked" and that "I could do anything".  Not really helpful.  I found a small, private school to attend that was local (strike 1) - but never really looked deeply into the courses or the finances of it (strike 2).  I saw they had a major I found interesting and jumped in without any considerations (strike 3).  I ended up graduating from that same college in 4 years, but changed my major my sophomore year and had to play catchup in order to not prolong college.  I was stubborn and never asked for help.  Having had many, many years to reflect on my experiences, I realized how poorly I was prepared, and how I should have done things differently.  I graduated with a useless degree in a field I never made a career of, and went back to school twice more to fill in the gaps in regards to learning business and technology.  I am paying for it to this day.

I talk to my kids openly about my poor choices and what led me to where I am today.  Some times using myself as a punchline, and other times to show them how it doesn't hurt to begin planning in HS.  Just because you start planning doesn't mean your pigeon-holed into that career.  But just thinking over likes/dislikes early will help you adjust and plan later in life.  I'm paying more now for my poor choices and lack of knowledge when I was younger.  I don't want to see my kids go through the same thing.  I want better for them.

As good as my daughter is at planning her life now in HS, my middle-school aged son just tells me he's playing professional baseball.  He won't consider anything else.  So that will be a fun conversation in two years.

My daughter sounds similar.  She graduated last year and is pursuing a Criminal Justice - Criminology degree.   She was able to take some classes her Junior and Senior years of high school at the local JC in that field and did some ride alongs and job shadowing as part of the classes.  She really enjoyed it and seems to be going down a path she likes. 

She would never have known for sure until she tried it.  It kind of came out of nowhere for her and then had the opportunity to take some classes.  It worked for her....so far.  She is in the middle of her first year in college and is branching out a bit.  She decided to take an ROTC class (not commit to the military yet) to see what that is like since it is a benefit in the Criminology field.  Again, she is trying things to see what fits.

I think the bottom line is the more things you try (especially in high school) the better idea you might have of what you like.  There is no harm in trying lots of things...especially when you are young to see what sticks with  you.  In my experience, most industries will give a high schooler a chance to job shadow or intern (maybe unpaid) but it gives the kid a chance to see what that industry is like.  That's worth a lot more than a few measly dollars if you have to do it for no pay. 

 

[tri-man 47]

[Speaking from 32 years working at two private universities as an accounting professor]  I agree with what @ChiefD said about the need in the trades.  As to the university approach, the great benefit comes from the experiences outside the classroom ...summer internships (but those tend to come after a major is picked), on-campus speakers, peer and faculty advising, career placement offices, networking with fellow students, etc.  Our university now has a very successful 'executives in residence' program for our business students as well as a sequence of one-credit career development courses.  Those dimensions are wonderful in assisting students as they try to find their way.  

On one hand, a private university offers many opportunities to help young people 'find themselves.'  On the other hand, if a student is unsure, there's much to be said for starting at a community college - get the core courses out of the way at a lower cost while also working some kind of job ...basically, growing beyond the teenage years and getting to know one's self.  Many of my best and most focused students came through the community college route and then transferred in (often being a year or two or three older since they don't necessarily attend full-time). 

One of my very early successes was talking a senior accounting major out of accounting!   That was his dad's field, and he was pushed to follow suit.  He ended up taking an extra year to get a degree in psychology ...and went on for his masters and doctorate.  He did psych ops in the middle east for a number of years, and now he's back as a Psychology professor at the university.  The point here, I guess, is support them to the max, but let them find their way.

 

[AhrnCityPahnder]

dot.

 

[Scott Tenorman]

http://www.khake.com/page64.html

Most of this is for Elementary/Middle schools, but there is a section for College and Career Resources at the bottom.

Good Luck.

 

[Birdie048]

I will be honest and reply without having read all the earlier replies, limited time.   I have 3 boys..... 

1 son = in blue color work / trade; no college (rebuilds Generators for hospitals/care centers) -->  LOVES his work & life / no debt

1 son = Junior in College (Criminal Justice & Psyc major) --> worried about college loans (est >$500/month to pay back!!)

1 son = Junior in HS (wants to be in Law Enforcement) --> plans community college & then into state police program 

I told them all the same thing....  either like what you do or do what you like.  If one is not true, you will not be happy in whatever job you have. 

Look at a "potential major/field of study", look at what types of careers this could lead and the salary ranges associated (reality check here). 

Try an intern position at what interests you the most.  Get a feel for it when you can still change.  

 

[Don Quixote]

I think trying a lot of things is a good approach to take, as a lot of it comes to aptitude, and finding where you may be able to differentiate yourself from your peers with similar educational background.  I’d probably credit some mandatory Logic course that I took in college (which I never would taken otherwise), that I found a particular aptitude with, in helping steer my career direction.  It gave me the idea that, hey, I could probably score pretty well on the LSAT, and then got a pretty scholarship to a good law school before ending up in Tax law, which meshed well with me given its heavy emphasis on critical thinking and reasoning.

While I don’t think someone should necessarily pursue their passion, (if you could pay me to do anything, I’d just read books all day, but no one is going to pay me to do that), I think it should be something that at least interests you or keeps you on your toes enough that spending 8+ hours/day doing it is not a drag/boring/uninteresting.  Life is too short for that. 

 

[Joe Bryant]

Ugh. One of the most frustrating experiences when I was younger was when my parents signed me up for a career aptitude testing and counseling. There was a ton of pre-testing that I filled out where I had to rank 1-5 of not liking to liking things or other questions like that. Then I took an hours long test with a group of other students.

I was a smart kid who lazily coasted by on lucky genetics who had no idea what I was truly good at and desperately needed some pointing in some direction. 

When I finally met with the career counselor to go over my results, he basically said "you're smart enough to do whatever you want to do." (look at me!) He mumbled some stuff about being extra good at spatial reasoning, but other than "computers" he didn't have any suggestions on where that would be useful. It was a total waste of time, incredibly frustrating, and partially responsible for years of career aimlessness.

Thanks @GroveDiesel   Knowing what you know now, what would you suggest for a young person now in college not quite sure what they want to do?

 

[GoBirds]

As a guy working in the trades, if anyone has that aptitude and is willing to work, seek them out. We are in desperate need of all types: HVAC techs, electricians, plumbers, machinists, etc. 

Seek out your local trade schools and see what interests the kids. Work with them on tools at your house when they are young. Don't automatically force them to college if they aren't the type. Don't perpetuate stereotypes about contractors.

These are well paying jobs with lifetime security.

This is very true, as we rely on trades there is a desperate need. 

 

[SpurrierisisGod]

By the time I hit college, all I had ever heard was "just experience things and choose what you like". Problem is, by that time you cant afford to just keep changing majors until something clicks. I didnt find my niche until I was 30 after spending wasted years in retail.

My son is a freshman in high school and all I have done so far is ask leading questions.  I know what he is good at (math) so I lead the questioning towards careers that involve math.  I'm in engineering/design so I ask things like "would you like to do what I do".  He doesnt like math so I get answers like "I dont want to do math all day".  The only thing I've been able to get out of him is "I might like to build stuff". Fair enough. So I tell him what contractors do or project managers or architecture etc.  I know where to lead the discussion now.

My daughter on the other hand loves animals.  Veteranarian right? Nope. Cant handle weird animals or the sad parts of being one.  But, the advantage we have now as we have gotten older is I know a vet who would let her work a summer with them.  I know my company let's high schoolers shadow for a day or 2.  I think that's a good starting place although may be a little late for 18+ year olds.

 

[Spike]

Biggest thing I see as a parent is teaching them how to learn. I never cared how they did for grades as much as I wanted them engaged in what they did. 

Teach them about focus and persistence, not as much the actual classes. 

 

[Mad Cow]

When I am asked this by others, my biggest suggestion is to know your values.  Before you try to determine what you like, discover what you value in life.  For me, I wanted a career that would allow me to be home with family, to attend baseball and soccer games.  To not have to travel.  I figured out the lifestyle I wanted, and then found the career that would let me live that lifestyle that aligned with my values.  I think so much of our frustration in this life comes more from living a life against what we believe versus what we may or may not love doing.  We can generally find peace and joy in life in what we are doing day to day agrees with what we inherently believe.

 

[ffldrew]

I love to watch CBS Saturday Morning - and on the Saturday show they talk to the top chefs in restaurants around the country. I love food and makes me jealous that I didn't consider one of the top culinary schools when I was young - or traveling around the country learning the business in different restaurants. It seems if you are good and there is a passion you can start up something special . 

If someone is considering the IT industry - all I can say is you must have a passion for learning and reinventing yourself. The pace of change is incredible these days - so much so that it is doubtful that a course of study in some particular application architecture/tooling will even be there in 4 years when you are done. We have gone from traditional tiered data center/apps - to cloud based apps - to containers/microservices - to serverless and now to serverless containers in roughly 3 years. Big Relational Databases - gone. From ETL Warehouses to Data Lakes - boom in what seemed like a couple of weeks. You'll have to enjoy change and keep moving or get squashed.

That said I just put daughter on plane today so she could go to London and pursue a career in the most dying business of all - the music industry and one that is undergoing as much change as IT. She's not a performer - she wants to make stars and put on shows and help bands/artists do their thing. I probably spent too much time taking her to shows when she was young and seeing all sorts of new bands. But that gave her passion and that may be enough. It's so hard to tell your kid that they are nuts.

So in three paragraphs I've used passion in each - and as a parent you have to spark your kids and present to them the wonders of the world - hope they see things clear and try to give them honest opinions. 

 

[Punxsutawney Phil]

I agree that learning a trade is a great way to go.  Starting as a contractor could suck, but there are different avenues.  If you are well spoken and presentable, you could evolve more into a pm / sales role.   Cost estimators & schedulers often start out as tradesmen.  Knowing a trade also allows you to be able to potentially start your own business.  

An important thing to consider before deciding what you want to be is where you want to be.  An electrician / plumber / HVAC probably have more opportunities than say a welder.  However, a welder could be a great profession if you are willing to follow pipelines construction.

Also, never discount skill sets like Excel that can be applied to many professions.  Or, you could get really good at crunching sports stats and start up a website.

 

[beer 30]

One other thing I'll add, I had always planned to go to college (first & only one in the family to graduate, look at me!!) but I took the long route. My family was blue collar through & through so that's what I grew up around. Primarily small machine shops in the Akron, OH area. When I went to school I worked part time at first then full time at the machine shop my dad worked at. Small shop that had corned the world market on a certain type of press so we were always busy but the most I can remember working there was maybe 20 employees. I worked there for 8 years while going to college and seriously considered just staying there and ditching school. Was making good money and had worked my way up to one of the top spots when I finally quit. Could have made a decent living at it but I wanted to get out of that life. So I had a taste of both and luckily landed a job in my college field (accounting) that has put me where I am today.

Because of that job, I'm handy but certainly not a master at anything. If it's simple I can probably fix it but I can't add a room onto my house. I'm also not afraid to get dirty and sweat to get a job done. I say that as illustration, my oldest daughter recently married. They're both young (22) but she's always been handy around the house and willing to take on projects as opposed to having someone else do it for her. She calls me when it's above her pay grade. they just recently bought a house and needed a bunch of stuff hung up, pictures, drapes, simple stuff. Her husband is a hard worker, owns his own business (cell phone repair) but came from a family where he never had to do anything. So I spend a day over at their place hanging things and doing odd ball stuff she can't handle. He comes home at 7 and thanks me saying he could have never done all that stuff I told him we're going to change that. Can't own a home and not know how to do "stuff".

 

[Peak]

I was just thinking that I need to make sure my kids are at least exposed to coding.  It's being painted as a necessity for future jobs.

I also like the change in school curriculum that seems to promote problem-solving over standard processes and memorization.  I wish I could find fun ways to promote problem-solving around the house with my kids.

This is something I really like about the schools my kids attend.  We're in a larger school district, so the HS has many career and trade like opportunities.  I've gone over the HS Course Catalog with my daughter to help her schedule classes and it almost feels like college scheduling at this point.  There are so many opportunities to gain some real world experience before graduating.  Aside from a functional school store (where kids manage it like a real business), they have a functional bank (where kids work out savings accounts and manage small investments with the Finance club), or working radio and TV stations where kids write, film, produce, edit, and air real stories from athletic events to school functions, and even semester long internships at local businesses.  Whatever it takes to get them to find that "spark".  

This stuff didn't exist when I was in HS, and if it did I know the path I had taken would have been very different. My sports-star tells me all the time that he could be a sportscaster, so I've talked to my daughter to try out the TV station for a semester and report back her experiences.  So far she likes it, and I can see my son maybe enjoying the behind the scenes work more than the actual broadcaster avenue.  So I've got that in my back pocket.  She's attended multiple sporting events to either film, or report on what she's seen; helped write copy and edit in production, as well as do some costume work and appeared in her own short clip with friends.  All things some of these kids are doing on YouTube already, but now getting a grade for it.  Pretty interesting things going on in HS now.

 

[beer 30]

So in three paragraphs I've used passion in each - and as a parent you have to spark your kids and present to them the wonders of the world - hope they see things clear and try to give them honest opinions. 

Funny you say that, my wife and I have this conversation about our kids all the time. Our oldest, D1 (see above post), knew when she was 12 that she wanted to be a teacher. She tailored her whole life toward that goal, graduated Cum Laude in Early Childhood Development and landed a job in the best school system in the SC ironically enough about 1/4 from our house. This is her first year and while she was super excited about it, the class she has have dulled the shine for her this year. Regardless, she's a natural and loves the work.

D2 on the other hand, has been a rudderless ship since about the age of 6. She's developed a passion for psychology which I actively promote but not with the passion her sister had for teaching. I encourage her wherever possible and try to engage in conversations about her desired field (although I know nothing about it) just to see her responses. It's always been enthusiastic so I feel like shes genuine when she says it's the field she wants to pursue. She very intelligent, not just smart but intelligent just has no motivation. I'm hoping she doesn't go off to school and, without any supervision, languish without someone actively pushing her. I don't' think she will but given her track record I'm nervous.

 

[bigmarc27]

Let me just add one thing, and this is completely independent of whatever career path someone might choose. Make sure they know how to speak, interact, and be personable.  I’ve mentioned before that I’m 37, so older than the current generation but not too far off from the younger working crowd. There’s an obscene difference in how a lot of the under 30 crowd acts in professional environments. Always on the phone, don’t make eye contact, speak almost in a whisper and very meekly, etc...  It’s terrible and even if they know what they’re talking about, they don’t make you feel comfortable. The few that do well speaking can write their own career paths.  

“Joe wants to work over here, sounds great everyone trusts Joe.”

”Bryant is interested in working on this project?  Is that the kid that whispers all the time and stands in the corner on Reddit looking at Japanese cartoons?  Ehhh, we’re full.”

 

[ChiefD]

Let me just add one thing, and this is completely independent of whatever career path someone might choose. Make sure they know how to speak, interact, and be personable.  I’ve mentioned before that I’m 37, so older than the current generation but not too far off from the younger working crowd. There’s an obscene difference in how a lot of the under 30 crowd acts in professional environments. Always on the phone, don’t make eye contact, speak almost in a whisper and very meekly, etc...  It’s terrible and even if they know what they’re talking about, they don’t make you feel comfortable. The few that do well speaking can write their own career paths.  

I made my kids work on handshakes the other night. 

 

[Peak]

I made my kids work on handshakes the other night. 

  I did the same...even got after them when my son had that handshake like a wet fish.  

I'm really close to re-creating Michael Keaton's videos from that movie "My Life".  

 

[bigmarc27]

I made my kids work on handshakes the other night. 

It’s important, because if nothing else it lets people know you’re engaged. We have this one guy who shows up to meetings and if the topic of conversation shifts from his area of interest, he whips out his phone.  It became a real problem and they had to have a closed door meeting with him. He’s stopped with the phone, but you can tell he’s still off daydreaming about whatever.  This isn’t a company that has meetings just to have meetings, if they’re set up they have a purpose and we try to hit the salient points and move on. If you can’t focus for 30 minutes, what the hell are you doing when you’re not being observed?

 

[Joe Bryant]

Let me just add one thing, and this is completely independent of whatever career path someone might choose. Make sure they know how to speak, interact, and be personable.  I’ve mentioned before that I’m 37, so older than the current generation but not too far off from the younger working crowd. There’s an obscene difference in how a lot of the under 30 crowd acts in professional environments. Always on the phone, don’t make eye contact, speak almost in a whisper and very meekly, etc...  It’s terrible and even if they know what they’re talking about, they don’t make you feel comfortable. The few that do well speaking can write their own career paths.  

“Joe wants to work over here, sounds great everyone trusts Joe.”

”Bryant is interested in working on this project?  Is that the kid that whispers all the time and stands in the corner on Reddit looking at Japanese cartoons?  Ehhh, we’re full.”

I don't disagree with these.

Does anyone have a programmatic type course for this kind of stuff? I know Art of Charm had some stuff related to this. Anything else? I know all the father - son stuff to pass along and I've done pretty ok with that. But wondering if there was a good comprehensive type resource. 

 

[Punxsutawney Phil]

I don't disagree with these.

Does anyone have a programmatic type course for this kind of stuff? I know Art of Charm had some stuff related to this. Anything else? I know all the father - son stuff to pass along and I've done pretty ok with that. But wondering if there was a good comprehensive type resource. 

Some real world experience is probably the best for this. Serving, call centers, sales associate, etc.  Once you learn that phone schtick, you can just automatically turn it on.

 

[GroveDiesel]

Thanks @GroveDiesel   Knowing what you know now, what would you suggest for a young person now in college not quite sure what they want to do?

A) Figure out what you're good at. There are lots of good tools/websites/books whatever to help with that. Flat out asking people from different parts of your life that know you well is also a great way to see what others see in you that you may not

B) Figure out what you like to do and why you like those things. It took me quite a while to realize that I liked having different challenges all the time and would be hired in any job where I had to do the same basic tasks over and over again. IMO, figuring out the why your passions is as important as figuring out your passions.

C) Start figuring out what kind of jobs may intersect A&B together. Use college provided resources. Use the internet. Join clubs or volunteer groups that may be related. Intern in different places. Job shadow people. The more you explore and the more connections you make, the more likely you are to find something that interests you and the more likely you are to find the person that will hire you to do that job.

I would also say not to panic and feel like you are stuck just because you don't have it all figured out yet. As frustrated as I was for a long time, I love what I do now and I've managed to advance fairly quickly despite not having the "right" degree because of other skills that I developed and honed through other jobs, volunteer positions etc. 

IMO, if you want to have long-term success in any field, the most important skills you can learn are:

1) Work hard. That doesn't have to mean working crazy hours, but it does mean working hard when you're working

2) Be reliable. It's amazing how many people simply can't be counted on to be on time, to complete their work, to meet deadlines, etc.

3) Be detail oriented. Care about the little things. It will set you apart.

4) Learn to write well. It's crazy to me how poorly a large percentage of people write. It's especially true of younger folks. In just about any field you will be in, being able to communicate well in a professional manner can make all the difference as you advance. Being a good writer earned me a very large scholarship and has distinguished me in my current position. There are very few fields where being a poor writer won't hold you back eventually IMO. I highly encourage every young person I know to work at becoming a decent writer.

Lastly, I think it's vitally important to never let what we do as a career define us or be our sole source of joy. No matter what you do, being content with what we have can allow us to experience joy no matter our situation. Being content doesn't necessarily mean staying put just because, but it does mean that "success" doesn't have to look like what we have been conditioned to believe it looks like. Having a daughter with special needs who will never be a brain surgeon or lawyer has taught me that we don't have to have an impressive job or lots of money and accolades to find joy. Success and joy can be found when we can see the meaning in what we do, when we feel useful, and when we can see how we make others happy.

 

[Sconch]

"If you do what you love...you'll never 'work' a day in your life."

Actually that is terrible advice.  Just horrible.

 

[Rodrigo Duterte]

Haven't read the thread but if part of your question entails anything to do with colleges, you know one that flies way under the radar?  And has exceptional job placement right out of the gate (something in the upper 90th percentile last I read), along with very high starting salaries which double most colleges.  The California Maritime Academy.  And the salaries from there go up fast, if the kid's on top of #### and wants that kind of trajectory.  Those jobs include ports all over the world, so they end up with a bevy of cities and countries from which to choose to live, but also change from if they see fit.  And talk about job security and benefits....I doubt shipping and all that goes with it comes to a halt any time soon.

They also do like 6 months on a semester at sea thing, which I think is better than any class can cover, traveling, exploring parts of the world not many people get to see.  CMA has tons to offer a kid that doesn't want to go the traditional college route, most don't know about it.  Northern California btw, in Vallejo, not far from SF.

 

[Courtjester]

We have a 19 year old daughter in her second year of college as a bio major. She is technically a Senior at this point, but with the way the labs she needs fall out, she has to go the full four years to get her degree. I am going to be 60k in debt when she gets out, but she will have a bio major and a chem/math minor.  She has already been approached for internships, which she hopes will lead to a chunk of her masters getting paid for. All through high school she was the overachiever--top of her class, president of everything type kid.

Our other daughter is 14 and in high school. She just announced she is going to enter the medical program they offer there--it is a series of accelerated AP math/science classes that gets them a chunk of college credit. She is also an overachiever and is doing things her older sister never did as far as getting honors and awards at an even younger age. She wants to go to med school and I can't even tell you how scary the prospect of having to help her pay for that is. She won't admit it, but she is driven to be better than her sister--I know it.

I say these things not to brag (well a little ), but I believe I failed my kids on some level. We have always encouraged them to do their very best (my wife is a little more persistent in this). We are definitely not helicopter or alpha type parents that scream and push them. Frankly we serve as more of the brake for these girls--who always want to be pushing the gas pedal.  I know I have always said to them ""You do what you have to do, so you can do what you want to do in life." My 19 year old never slept in high school and my other daughter already is going some nights without sleep just due to volume of homework they are given. 

Where I hurt is my 19 year old was just recently placed on anxiety meds and my 14 year old, I can see, will soon be going down this path. I just see what this "drive to be the best" is doing to them and I don't  know how to make it stop. We let our daughter stay home this morning for the first three periods because she was exhausted from homework the last two nights. She needed sleep. As it is, she will be at the school all Saturday for drama practice. Ironically  as I write this, my wife texted me and because we let her stay home, she missed turning in a paper and her A is now a D. My girl will now be regretting trading sleep for turning that paper in I can already see it. 

I mean, the competition among female teenagers for college admissions is brutal. I keep telling her it doesn't matter where you get your undergrad--get in, get out with as little debt as you can and go from there, but she has her heart set on Stanford. I know this isn't realistic, but I can't crush her dreams. Her clique she runs with is all these little, teenage girls who spend their days worrying about who is what class rank.. They are freshmen---that is insane.  

I am proud of my girls, but I am sad for them...I just hate that feeling....

 

[beer 30]

I don't disagree with these.

Does anyone have a programmatic type course for this kind of stuff? I know Art of Charm had some stuff related to this. Anything else? I know all the father - son stuff to pass along and I've done pretty ok with that. But wondering if there was a good comprehensive type resource. 

One thing my boss did that I thought was interesting was bring his son along with him to business dinners/functions when possible. Only for the experience, wasn't allowed to bring his phone, learned to engage people in a meaningful discussion whether it was regarding business or just casually discussing life/family. Obviously you can only do this with people that "get" the objective and are ok having a much younger person at the table.

Today, the kid is one of the more articulate, well rounded young person I've met. He did a few summer internships here and while some would say it's because of dad, the kid stood on his own very well. I think we would hire him in a heartbeat for some of the data mining stuff he did for us. He's got another year of college and is interning at a large construction company this summer looking to pursue his career in engineering. He will do well.

Thought it was a neat idea if you can pull it off.

 

[Sconch]

I told my kids I won’t pay for college if it’s not a STEM degree. 

If they don’t want to do that I told them there are lots of trades that earn a very good living. 

There are plenty of places where a student can get a reasonably  affordable degree in something else besides STEM.

 

[SpurrierisisGod]

Re: the handshake/speaking stuff...

I will second this idea s we deal with it my son all the time.  Probably just the typical teenage, low gruff, monotone stuff but if I'm trying to have a conversation dang it, put down the phone and answer in more than just yeps and nopes.

I coach a u13 girls soccer team.  We occassionally have sessions where a "coach or recruiter" is at practice (just a parent or me acting). Teach the girls how to shake hands, make eye contact and speak intelligently when spoken to.  My sons coach makes the boys u15/16 shakes hands with teammates after practice and say something positive.

 

[Doug B]

Don't perpetuate stereotypes about contractors.

These are well paying jobs with lifetime security.

And also, being in the trades means you can get into the workforce a little quicker without the crippling debt so many young people face. In addition, if kids are financially savvy, you can start contributing money into retirement plans earlier than normal.

I know about a half dozen contractors who have been making six figures for over 30 years. Obviously, that takes not only technical skills but perseverence, discipline, and business acumen. But a career in the trades is a lot more malleable than many people think.

 

[Doug B]

Also, never discount skill sets like Excel that can be applied to many professions. 

A little pressed for time, but I want to riff on this comment later. I'll invite others to do the same.

 

[Sconch]

Whole lotta handshaking going on here.  I find it a little strange TBH.

 

[Gally]

Whole lotta handshaking going on here.  I find it a little strange TBH.

I think the "handshake" is more about being able to communicate with adults in an adult way.  It goes beyond just the handshake but that is the first impression and is very important. 

 

[jwb]

I don't have much to offer in terms of what fields, but I will say that whatever a young person decides to do, it's not that hard to quickly rise in the eyes of superiors. Some points on this:

1) Be on time, every single day. No excuses. And it's ok to call in when you are truly sick, but if you're going to do the "mental health day" thing constantly, well, that's not going to help your career.

2) Do your job. Be the person who gets things done. Not saying you need to put in nutty hours, but get things done. 

3) Avoid the people who don't like the job. There's always a group that hangs together, and starts tons of sentences with "this place..." Avoid those people. 

Do the above consistently, and you're ahead of 90% of people out there.

 

[NutterButter]

Always have a positive attitude and be enthusiastic.  Its amazing how much you can differentiate yourself from the herd by just doing that.   People like being around upbeat people.

If you're in a stem field and maybe all fields, always be learning.   Speaking from stem experience, you'll never have to worry about being employed if you keep on top of your skills.   

 

[tri-man 47]

I made my kids work on handshakes the other night. 

A few years ago a student I'd gotten to know well accepted a job at the Federal Reserve Bank in Chicago.   Big time stuff!  But one afternoon before he graduated, we spent several minutes working on his handshake and eye contact.

--

Another general point, tied to what others have said: I realized when my kids were mid-teenagers, in high school, and starting to drive ...you don't get a do-over.  Once their world starts to expand, they begin to move beyond our reach.  Be there for them when they're young; instill good values and attitudes (see above), set a strong example.   With a strong foundation, you can let them soar with confidence.