Looking for Feedback from Parents of Gifted Athletes (1 Viewer)

[Magic 8-Ball]

I am looking to get some feedback and perspective from parents that have an athletic child kid that is a rare talent . . . someone truly gifted . . . that is dedicated, passionate, and has advanced to levels well beyond the typical player.

I am interested to learn what the impact is/was on regular home life, the development of the child, what the costs were, whether there was a ROI (i.e. a college scholarship), whether there was a high burn out rate, whether there were scholastic or social issues, and overall if you had to do it all over again . . . would you? I don't think the sport really matters much, but may be I am wrong.

I have a kid that eats, lives, and breathes basketball. In the winter, he gets up at 6 AM and shovels the driveway to shoot baskets. For two hours. Twice a day. He plays year round. In the summer, 8 hours a day. 1,000 jump shots a day. He's hardcore. Overall, I would guess he plays in 100+ games and scrimmages a year, not including countless hours of practice. That's the type of kid I am talking about.

Our son has advanced to teams that are hand picked. He's now up to a regional/multi state AAU team that plays in big regional and national tournaments. I have heard from D-I state championship high school and D-I college coaches who have said he is one of the best players they have ever seen, especially for his age.

Now, you would think that at this point in the narrative we would be talking about a 15 or 16 year old. But we are not. We are talking about an 11 year old going into 6th grade. Each year, he adds more to his plate. His AAU team has qualified for the National AAU Tournament. Twice. He was asked to play on an 8th grade school team. He just got asked to play on an Elite team in another state, the best program in a 200-mile radius.

Again, I understand that to the average parent this is a bit on the crazy side, to which I both agree and can see that side of the spectrum. I didn't really play much basketball as a kid, so this is all unexplored territory for me. And before having children, I would have agreed that getting kids into competitive sports at a young age is preposterous and a stupid idea. But yet here we are.

So back to my original questions and concerns. Despite his love for the game, is this really good for him and in the end is it worth it? He shows no signs of fatigue or burnout and always wants to get to practice early and stay late. His grades have not suffered at all, and he has never gotten a course grade lower than an A. With his latest ventures, things are starting to get a little pricey when you add in the participation costs, travel, transportation, accommodations, etc. On what will be his newest team, it will require 2-3 hours driving back and forth to practice/games/tournaments several times a week.

Part of me wants to slow things way down, yet another part of me wants to see things through to see just how far he can advance in doing something he really loves to do. How can you say no to your kid's pursuit of a sport? Yet how on earth can you have any semblance of balance and a normal life for both him and as parents? on the one hand it's extremely exciting . . . on the other it's pretty scary.

If anyone has first hand experience or similar stories, I would love to hear how all this works and what to expect down the road. Maybe there are folks in the FFA were the kids in this type of situation.

 

[Txns8]

FBG Answer:

LOOK AT ME AND MY KID!!

Parent Answer (not from experience):

Keep an open line of communication open. Sit down and discuss each opportunity and make sure the coaches, organizations, etc. understand they are to work through you and not him. As long as he shows the desire, you make sure he understands the commitment (no quitting what you started, grades come first, etc.). I would make sure he clearly understands that no is a completely acceptable answer. Perhaps you even take the heat for the turn downs from the various committees, etc. to shield him from backlash at this age.

Good luck.

 

[Man of Zen]

Yet how on earth can you have any semblance of balance and a normal life for both him and as parents?

You can't.

People are either really, really elite-level great at things, or they have normal lives. Maybe there are one-in-a-billion exceptions to that rule, but those exceptions don't have to shovel snow out of their driveways to practice shooting hoops, so we can already rule that scenario out for you (sorry). To become great at something -- especially something as competitive as bball -- you pretty much have to trade the kind of life normal people get to live in order to have it.

I do happen to think looking at it in terms of ROI is the wrong thing to do, but that's a personal choice, and one you have to make. If you're still chasing your own dreams, and giving everything you can to make your kid's dreams happen will compromise that, you have something to think about. If you're not chasing anything more than a little comfort, then I think it's incumbent upon any parent to do whatever he or she can to help his/her kid's non-destructive dreams come true, to the best of their ability.

If I felt like giving my kid the best shot I could possibly give him to make it as a D1 starting point guard meant I might have to be a greeter at Wal-Mart till I was 80 instead of retiring, it would be a no-brainer. Alas, I'm lucky if I can get mine to mow the lawn, so I can retire in peace.

I would say that if basketball is the goal, to take a good, honest look at your genetics. Maybe 6'8" Nubian gods dangle like fruit from your family tree. That would be awesome for you. On the other hand, the world needs Steve Nashes and Steve Kerrs too. But you can be dang sure they put in their Gladwellian 10,000 hours practicing the right things. If Nash had been determined to be Allen Iverson instead of concentrating on threes, FT's, ball handling, passing, and team defensive concepts, he'd have washed out in JC ball.

 

[cstu]

Part of me wants to slow things way down, yet another part of me wants to see things through to see just how far he can advance in doing something he really loves to do. How can you say no to your kid's pursuit of a sport? Yet how on earth can you have any semblance of balance and a normal life for both him and as parents? on the one hand it's extremely exciting . . . on the other it's pretty scary.

IMO if he's getting good grades and loves what he's doing then you have no choice but to support him.

 

[T Bell]

He's a unique talent. I think you want to pursue this as much as you reasonably can.

Yes, it will open educational doors for him as a college student. I don't know if that pays for itself strictly speaking, but it might.

And keep in mind that he can play basketball in a lot of other professional leagues besides the NBA, including in Italy or Greece. Maybe that's just a fun adventure that earns him some money for a few years until he turns 25 or 30, but how cool would that be?

He might also end up getting a master's degree in education and become a college or club basketball coach himself. It's easy to belittle these things now, but they are ways that he can support himself off of this that doesn't cause those pie-in-the-sky feelings you get thinking about the NBA.

I'd just take this one step at a time for now. For starters, I'd go at his pace. Don't push him for more. Focus on the fun now, and not "the future". If it's not fun, he's going to burn out. You can do this and still have him learn what it takes to be a winner.

I'd also make sure that he stays well grounded, and realizes that while he's got a special gift, he's still a member of a family and a student, etc., and he still has obligations relating to those things. Along those lines, if he's got siblings make sure that while he's got a special gift, he's still expected to show up to their special events - they'll be very aware of how often you're dragging their asses to his athletic events.

Most importantly, and I get this from my brother who is a youth pastor, make sure that he knows your pride in him goes well beyond basketball. Too many parents nowadays unwittingly convey to their kids that their praise is conditional upon athletic success. This can be done even with the best of intentions. He needs to know that the family loves him no matter what, even if he shot his last basketball this morning before breakfast.

It sounds like you're doing these things. Good luck and have fun.

 

[bills025]

I have a cousin that was the same way with basketball, played all she could. Took her high school team to state 2 years in a row. Was on numerous AAU teams that went to nationals or whatever it is. Was actively recruited by elite teams. Got a full ride scholarship to college and was able to get a job coaching upon graduation.

My sister was like this with ballet and was asked to join multiple big dance companies around the country and offered scholarships to a few big dance programs at some prestigious universities. Unfortunately she was in a car accident that injured her hip and she wasn't able to continue to dance at that level.But she was able to use her experience and connections to get jobs teaching dance and pay her way through school. And some of the connections she made helped her get a great job at the hospital she works at now.

In both cases neither was pushed to do this, just supported, and yes it took a lot of time and money from the families. In my opinion as long as it's your son who is working so hard at this and not you making him it is a good thing. If he were a painter, pianist, mathematician, writing apps for phones or something like that would you be questioning it as much? It sounds like he has a real passion and dedication as well as skill.

My kids are too young or have no motivation to be this competitive right now. I hope one day my kkids can find something they care about beyond youtube videos or video games that I can support them in.

Good luck and congrats on what sounds like a great kid who knows what he wants and is working his butt off to get it.

 

[TLEF316]

I would say that if basketball is the goal, to take a good, honest look at your genetics.

This. Your son may be incredibly skilled and dedicated. But if his genetic ceiling is 6'0, he may crash out 5-6 years down the road when everyone else catches up.

Not trying to kill the dream or anything, but that's the harsh reality of it. You know who Mark Titus is? He was the 5th starter on an AAU team that included Greg Oden, Mike Conley, Josh McRoberts and Daequen Cook. 2 time all state performer in Indiana. And the best he could do was a walk-on spot at Ohio State (and he was 6'4) and a funny blog. Its EXTREMELY hard to be a high major D1 player. And even if you get there, the odds of making a living playing the game go down exponentially. They go down to almost nothing if you're an American white kid under 6'7. There are a total of 7 of them on NBA rosters (8 if you include Barea, who looks kinda white and is from Puerto Rico)

 

[cstu]

I would say that if basketball is the goal, to take a good, honest look at your genetics.

This. Your son may be incredibly skilled and dedicated. But if his genetic ceiling is 6'0, he may crash out 5-6 years down the road when everyone else catches up.

Not trying to kill the dream or anything, but that's the harsh reality of it. You know who Mark Titus is? He was the 5th starter on an AAU team that included Greg Oden, Mike Conley, Josh McRoberts and Daequen Cook. 2 time all state performer in Indiana. And the best he could do was a walk-on spot at Ohio State (and he was 6'4) and a funny blog. Its EXTREMELY hard to be a high major D1 player. And even if you get there, the odds of making a living playing the bame go down exponentially. (to almost nothing if you're a white kid under 6'7)

The odds are long, but 3% of high school basketball players end up playing for a D1 schools. Plus there are lower levels to get scholarships at.

 

[TLEF316]

I would say that if basketball is the goal, to take a good, honest look at your genetics.

This. Your son may be incredibly skilled and dedicated. But if his genetic ceiling is 6'0, he may crash out 5-6 years down the road when everyone else catches up.

Not trying to kill the dream or anything, but that's the harsh reality of it. You know who Mark Titus is? He was the 5th starter on an AAU team that included Greg Oden, Mike Conley, Josh McRoberts and Daequen Cook. 2 time all state performer in Indiana. And the best he could do was a walk-on spot at Ohio State (and he was 6'4) and a funny blog. Its EXTREMELY hard to be a high major D1 player. And even if you get there, the odds of making a living playing the bame go down exponentially. (to almost nothing if you're a white kid under 6'7)

The odds are long, but 3% of high school basketball players end up playing for a D1 schools. Plus there are lower levels to get scholarships at.

That chart is for all of college basketball, not just D1. There are only 351 division 1 schools for men's basketball. The number of total scholarships available for HS seniors is probably closer to 1,400. Less than 1% of the 156K HS senior boys basketball player and this is probably being generous. Most programs don't use all 13 scholarships and some of the rides get taken by JUCO transfers and foreign players.

And in terms of racial breakdown, only 30% of D1 men's basketball players are white (as of 2010).

 

[T Bell]

I would say that if basketball is the goal, to take a good, honest look at your genetics.

This. Your son may be incredibly skilled and dedicated. But if his genetic ceiling is 6'0, he may crash out 5-6 years down the road when everyone else catches up.

Not trying to kill the dream or anything, but that's the harsh reality of it. You know who Mark Titus is? He was the 5th starter on an AAU team that included Greg Oden, Mike Conley, Josh McRoberts and Daequen Cook. 2 time all state performer in Indiana. And the best he could do was a walk-on spot at Ohio State (and he was 6'4) and a funny blog. Its EXTREMELY hard to be a high major D1 player. And even if you get there, the odds of making a living playing the bame go down exponentially. (to almost nothing if you're a white kid under 6'7)

The odds are long, but 3% of high school basketball players end up playing for a D1 schools. Plus there are lower levels to get scholarships at.

That chart is for all of college basketball, not just D1. There are only 351 division 1 schools for men's basketball. The number of total scholarships available for HS seniors is probably closer to 1,400. Less than 1% of the 156K HS senior boys basketball player and this is probably being generous. Most programs don't use all 13 scholarships and some of the rides get taken by JUCO transfers and foreign players.

And in terms of racial breakdown, only 30% of D1 men's basketball players are white (as of 2010).

So you're going to pooh-pooh a full ride to an excellent school like Holy Cross (to pick a name out of the air)? College costs well north of $100k now for most people, and it's only getting more expensive somehow.

 

[thecatch]

I would say that if basketball is the goal, to take a good, honest look at your genetics.

This. Your son may be incredibly skilled and dedicated. But if his genetic ceiling is 6'0, he may crash out 5-6 years down the road when everyone else catches up.

Not trying to kill the dream or anything, but that's the harsh reality of it. You know who Mark Titus is? He was the 5th starter on an AAU team that included Greg Oden, Mike Conley, Josh McRoberts and Daequen Cook. 2 time all state performer in Indiana. And the best he could do was a walk-on spot at Ohio State (and he was 6'4) and a funny blog. Its EXTREMELY hard to be a high major D1 player. And even if you get there, the odds of making a living playing the bame go down exponentially. (to almost nothing if you're a white kid under 6'7)

The odds are long, but 3% of high school basketball players end up playing for a D1 schools. Plus there are lower levels to get scholarships at.

That chart is for all of college basketball, not just D1. There are only 351 division 1 schools for men's basketball. The number of total scholarships available for HS seniors is probably closer to 1,400. Less than 1% of the 156K HS senior boys basketball player and this is probably being generous. Most programs don't use all 13 scholarships and some of the rides get taken by JUCO transfers and foreign players.

And in terms of racial breakdown, only 30% of D1 men's basketball players are white (as of 2010).

So you're going to pooh-pooh a full ride to an excellent school like Holy Cross (to pick a name out of the air)? College costs well north of $100k now for most people, and it's only getting more expensive somehow.

I wouldn't "pooh-pooh" the idea, but its worth having a discussion about whether a kid wants to bust their butt playing ball throughout college, with no realistic hope of making it their profession, versus spending that time on academic pursuits and getting ready for a "real world" career. Personally, growing up I saw a fair number of people that devoted themselves to lower tier D-1, D-2 sports in college end up chasing low-paying assistant coaching and teaching jobs after graduation, whereas some of their intellectual peers were able to put more energy into getting good grades and setting themselves up for graduate school and great careers. (One guy actually played in Europe for a couple of years, but that just put him further behind the career 8-ball when he came back after spending his early 20's without developing any other marketable skills). I mean, if the kid wants to pursue it then I think a parent should be supportive, but I think it's wise to keep some perspective if we're not talking about the next LeBron James.

 

[TLEF316]

I would say that if basketball is the goal, to take a good, honest look at your genetics.

This. Your son may be incredibly skilled and dedicated. But if his genetic ceiling is 6'0, he may crash out 5-6 years down the road when everyone else catches up.

Not trying to kill the dream or anything, but that's the harsh reality of it. You know who Mark Titus is? He was the 5th starter on an AAU team that included Greg Oden, Mike Conley, Josh McRoberts and Daequen Cook. 2 time all state performer in Indiana. And the best he could do was a walk-on spot at Ohio State (and he was 6'4) and a funny blog. Its EXTREMELY hard to be a high major D1 player. And even if you get there, the odds of making a living playing the bame go down exponentially. (to almost nothing if you're a white kid under 6'7)

The odds are long, but 3% of high school basketball players end up playing for a D1 schools. Plus there are lower levels to get scholarships at.

That chart is for all of college basketball, not just D1. There are only 351 division 1 schools for men's basketball. The number of total scholarships available for HS seniors is probably closer to 1,400. Less than 1% of the 156K HS senior boys basketball player and this is probably being generous. Most programs don't use all 13 scholarships and some of the rides get taken by JUCO transfers and foreign players.

And in terms of racial breakdown, only 30% of D1 men's basketball players are white (as of 2010).

So you're going to pooh-pooh a full ride to an excellent school like Holy Cross (to pick a name out of the air)? College costs well north of $100k now for most people, and it's only getting more expensive somehow.

Of course not, but that's not what we're talking about here. Pretty much any kid would be lucky to get a full ride to a great school like Holy Cross. But when we're talking about a "rare talent" and someone who is "truly gifted" (which is what the OP references) a scholarship to a D2 school is not the ideal end game.

You can play at a D2 school without playing on an AAU team that is based hundreds of miles away. That's the kind of commitment the OP thinks he's looking at, which makes me think that a D1 ride (likely high major) is where he thinks his son is headed. Absolutely nothing wrong with chasing that dream, but its important to set expectations.

edit: and for the record, Holy Cross is D1 for men's hoops.

 

[cstu]

I would say that if basketball is the goal, to take a good, honest look at your genetics.

This. Your son may be incredibly skilled and dedicated. But if his genetic ceiling is 6'0, he may crash out 5-6 years down the road when everyone else catches up.

Not trying to kill the dream or anything, but that's the harsh reality of it. You know who Mark Titus is? He was the 5th starter on an AAU team that included Greg Oden, Mike Conley, Josh McRoberts and Daequen Cook. 2 time all state performer in Indiana. And the best he could do was a walk-on spot at Ohio State (and he was 6'4) and a funny blog. Its EXTREMELY hard to be a high major D1 player. And even if you get there, the odds of making a living playing the bame go down exponentially. (to almost nothing if you're a white kid under 6'7)

The odds are long, but 3% of high school basketball players end up playing for a D1 schools. Plus there are lower levels to get scholarships at.

That chart is for all of college basketball, not just D1. There are only 351 division 1 schools for men's basketball. The number of total scholarships available for HS seniors is probably closer to 1,400. Less than 1% of the 156K HS senior boys basketball player and this is probably being generous. Most programs don't use all 13 scholarships and some of the rides get taken by JUCO transfers and foreign players.

And in terms of racial breakdown, only 30% of D1 men's basketball players are white (as of 2010).

So you're going to pooh-pooh a full ride to an excellent school like Holy Cross (to pick a name out of the air)? College costs well north of $100k now for most people, and it's only getting more expensive somehow.

I wouldn't "pooh-pooh" the idea, but its worth having a discussion about whether a kid wants to bust their butt playing ball throughout college, with no realistic hope of making it their profession, versus spending that time on academic pursuits and getting ready for a "real world" career. Personally, growing up I saw a fair number of people that devoted themselves to lower tier D-1, D-2 sports in college end up chasing low-paying assistant coaching and teaching jobs after graduation, whereas some of their intellectual peers were able to put more energy into getting good grades and setting themselves up for graduate school and great careers. (One guy actually played in Europe for a couple of years, but that just put him further behind the career 8-ball when he came back after spending his early 20's without developing any other marketable skills). I mean, if the kid wants to pursue it then I think a parent should be supportive, but I think it's wise to keep some perspective if we're not talking about the next LeBron James.

You can't necessarily assume that a person who is that interested in sports can simply change their focus. Sports actually helps a lot of kids focus on school since they need good grades to stay on the team.

If the guy was good enough to play in Europe didn't he also have a college degree?

 

[AC05]

College basketball coach here- I'm on my way to Curaçao for vacation but will be back in 8 days to answer any more questions.

I don't think you can or need to control the things he is doing himself like practicing in the driveway, etc.

I do think its completely unnecessary to drive that far for an AAU practice for an 11 year old. When he gets to the age where he is starting to get recruited- after his freshman or sophomore year- it is absolutely worth it. But not yet. We aren't even allowed to contact kids that age so no point in risking burn out for nothing.

 

[eoMMan]

Did you buy insurance on his limbs? That's pretty important.

 

[AC05]

Also, at this age it is important to go to CAMPS and not just AAU tourneys in the summer. Skill Development is more important, especially at age 11 when he is already playing close to 100 games a year.

 

[Magic 8-Ball]

As I mentioned initially, all this is new to me. We have two older kids that are good athletes and play(ed) on travel and school teams in other sports, but nothing like this. The basketball kid is just a natural at basketball. THE FIRST DAY he ever went to a practice (2nd grade), a travel team coach happened to be there and said that kid is dynamite and wanted him for his THIRD GRADE travel team when he had never even played a game before. He already could box out, switch on defense, and set screens when he never played before. When asked how he knew to do that, he said that's what they do on tv.

I want to try and stay grounded and take things in stride, but when the referee in a game 50 miles away from home tracks you down after a game to tell you your kid is the best kid he's ever seen, what are you supposed to take away from that? Many times, well wishers I never met before have approached us in parking lots. When coaches of all sorts of teams want to find out more about your kid at a tournament, well, what are you supposed to do or say? You can't say yes to everybody. He's funny in that he could score 30 points, but if his team loses, he will say so what, the team lost and he should have done more.

I know some folks in the area who are parents of some of the better high school players from the past few years. Their kids were state players of the year and Gatorade players of the year and ended up getting full college scholarships. And even THEY are saying our son is way more advanced then their kids were. For example, their kids were asked to play on the same team our son was just asked to play for at 13, 14, or 15 (compared to out son at 11). I've ask them some about how things have gone, and they said yes it gets crazy and you will get pulled in a thousand different directions. They said get used to it, people will get your email and cell number from god knows where to get your kid on their team.

Other than keeping him happy and letting him pursue what he wants to pursue, financially it would be nice if the net result was getting a college scholarship somewhere. Realistically, by the time he's ready for college, that would likely be worth $250K. I see nothing wrong with going to college at a "lesser" school that is not Kansas, Kentucky, UNC, UCLA, Louisville, etc. But that seems SOOOOOO far away that it's not really worth discussing too much. Our son's goals are to either play in the NBA or become a brain surgeon. I would not want to rain on his parade, but the likelihood that ANYONE makes it to the highest level of professional sports is pretty close to zero.

As far as genetics go, the men in my family have generally been in the 6'2" to 6'4" range. However, the current generation (ie, my nephews) are 6"4" and 6"7". Our pediatrician has charted him since he was born and he's consistently been projected at ending up between 6'4" to 6'8". His most recent projection is 6'6", but as we all know, kids can stop growing out of nowhere or have a huge growth spurt and surprise people.

That's part of the challenge for where he has played. On his teams so far, the coaches have insisted he play as a center or forward as he usually is the tallest kid on his team, and they want him playing in the paint as much as possible. Since he is so tenacious and fights and scraps for everything, many times it turns into a 1 on 5 battle. The high school and college coaches that have seen him play are adamant that he should be playing guard no matter how tall he is compared to his teammates. In their opinion, you never know how tall someone will end up, so they want him to have more exposure handling the ball and playing away from the basket. They've even CALLED his coaches to discuss it.

In the short term, we just want him to play on a team where he does not have to do everything for the team to have a chance. We also want to see him play against better competition to see how good he really is. One of his best games of this season was against a much better urban team with all, um, "non-Caucasians," and they still couldn't stop him. He scored his team's final 16 points in crunch time and they ultimately lost by a point. Everyone in the gym knew he was getting the ball, and he still was scoring each trip down the court with 3 guys draped all over him.

While that's all exciting and great to see your kid do so well, the bottom line still is HE'S ELEVEN. In the main, I agree with AC05. Driving all over the universe for games and practices seems a bit like overkill. But playing on local teams and leagues where he can store at will also doesn't seem like the answer. The other issue I have in playing locally is that kids can't stop him, so they tackle him instead. He's already had games where he was mauled, and obviously the last thing anyone wants is for kids to get hurt. At that point, it's not fun anymore when you have to shoot 20 free throws.

Some coaches have set up rules that he can't score more than 20 points in any game. After that, he has the choice of continuing to play and not shoot or come out of the game altogether. He's had games where he scored 20 points before halftime. Then he gets frustrated that he can't do anything else or has to sit the rest of the game. Coaches will get hammered leaving a kid in a blowout and running up the score. Other parents complain that he scores all the points and their kid needs to play more. You can't win. That to me tells me he should be playing somewhere else. But the better teams somewhere else is 100 miles away. It's a vicious circle.

 

[Magic 8-Ball]

Also, at this age it is important to go to CAMPS and not just AAU tourneys in the summer. Skill Development is more important, especially at age 11 when he is already playing close to 100 games a year.

He just went to two sessions of a Nike camp and another more local camp and clinic involving high school and college players and coaches.

 

[thecatch]

You can't necessarily assume that a person who is that interested in sports can simply change their focus. Sports actually helps a lot of kids focus on school since they need good grades to stay on the team.

If the guy was good enough to play in Europe didn't he also have a college degree?

Sure, some kids need those kind of incentives, and obviously if that works for them they should pursue it. I'm just saying, I think its tempting for some kids (and their parents) to lock into playing a sport full-time at the expense of other aspects of their academic and professional development. I don't think it's always a great move to play college athletics just because you can without looking at the bigger life/professional picture.

The guy I mentioned who played in Europe had a college degree from a pretty good school and is a bright guy, but he'd done nothing but prep for a basketball career since he was in junior high. He came back and was doing entry level sales type work for what I imagine was 30-50k a year. Other guys from our high school team are doctors/lawyers making multiples of that. Some might trade the current state of their careers for the life experiences the Europe-guy has had. But I doubt Europe-guy ever sat down and thought about those opportunity costs as he was spending hundreds of hours with AAU coaches growing up - I think its a discussion worth having.

 

[cstu]

As far as genetics go, the men in my family have generally been in the 6'2" to 6'4" range. However, the current generation (ie, my nephews) are 6"4" and 6"7". Our pediatrician has charted him since he was born and he's consistently been projected at ending up between 6'4" to 6'8". His most recent projection is 6'6", but as we all know, kids can stop growing out of nowhere or have a huge growth spurt and surprise people.

That's part of the challenge for where he has played. On his teams so far, the coaches have insisted he play as a center or forward as he usually is the tallest kid on his team, and they want him playing in the paint as much as possible. Since he is so tenacious and fights and scraps for everything, many times it turns into a 1 on 5 battle. The high school and college coaches that have seen him play are adamant that he should be playing guard no matter how tall he is compared to his teammates. In their opinion, you never know how tall someone will end up, so they want him to have more exposure handling the ball and playing away from the basket. They've even CALLED his coaches to discuss it.

Honestly, he sounds a lot like a guy I used to go to school with - Fred Hoiberg (former Iowa State player and current coach). The guy was simply a natural when it came to basketball and could dunk in the 7th grade.

 

[Fennis]

video of best 11 year old in 2008

He's now a high school freshman and one of the better players in the state.

 

[T Bell]

I would say that if basketball is the goal, to take a good, honest look at your genetics.

This. Your son may be incredibly skilled and dedicated. But if his genetic ceiling is 6'0, he may crash out 5-6 years down the road when everyone else catches up.

Not trying to kill the dream or anything, but that's the harsh reality of it. You know who Mark Titus is? He was the 5th starter on an AAU team that included Greg Oden, Mike Conley, Josh McRoberts and Daequen Cook. 2 time all state performer in Indiana. And the best he could do was a walk-on spot at Ohio State (and he was 6'4) and a funny blog. Its EXTREMELY hard to be a high major D1 player. And even if you get there, the odds of making a living playing the bame go down exponentially. (to almost nothing if you're a white kid under 6'7)

The odds are long, but 3% of high school basketball players end up playing for a D1 schools. Plus there are lower levels to get scholarships at.

That chart is for all of college basketball, not just D1. There are only 351 division 1 schools for men's basketball. The number of total scholarships available for HS seniors is probably closer to 1,400. Less than 1% of the 156K HS senior boys basketball player and this is probably being generous. Most programs don't use all 13 scholarships and some of the rides get taken by JUCO transfers and foreign players.

And in terms of racial breakdown, only 30% of D1 men's basketball players are white (as of 2010).

So you're going to pooh-pooh a full ride to an excellent school like Holy Cross (to pick a name out of the air)? College costs well north of $100k now for most people, and it's only getting more expensive somehow.

I wouldn't "pooh-pooh" the idea, but its worth having a discussion about whether a kid wants to bust their butt playing ball throughout college, with no realistic hope of making it their profession, versus spending that time on academic pursuits and getting ready for a "real world" career. Personally, growing up I saw a fair number of people that devoted themselves to lower tier D-1, D-2 sports in college end up chasing low-paying assistant coaching and teaching jobs after graduation, whereas some of their intellectual peers were able to put more energy into getting good grades and setting themselves up for graduate school and great careers. (One guy actually played in Europe for a couple of years, but that just put him further behind the career 8-ball when he came back after spending his early 20's without developing any other marketable skills). I mean, if the kid wants to pursue it then I think a parent should be supportive, but I think it's wise to keep some perspective if we're not talking about the next LeBron James.

You can't necessarily assume that a person who is that interested in sports can simply change their focus. Sports actually helps a lot of kids focus on school since they need good grades to stay on the team.

If the guy was good enough to play in Europe didn't he also have a college degree?

He's also ignoring that experience living overseas can be its own reward. You learn new languages, about different cultures including business cultures, etc. In other words that sort of experience is what you make of it. And there are a lot of frustrated athletes who'll be interviewing you in the professional or business world who'll love to hear about that stuff.

And BTW, what "8 ball"? Your profession isn't a race, and mid and even late 20's isn't late at all for the purposes of getting a professional or business career started, especially for a guy.

 

[Abraham]

As a guy who missed out on a scholarship because of a lack of exposure (I didn't know the importance of aau and was a senior before I had a coach that did) it is important to realize that a great deal of scouting and recruiting is based on non school participation. That said, the goal right now should be for him to continue improving, not riding the pine for a better club team.

Didn't see it answered: what kind of height do you expect him to grow in to?

Good luck.

 

[Magic 8-Ball]

Here's another reason why we are looking for another place for him to play. We live in a relatively small town. But they have 4 age appropriate travel teams. There is NO WAY they have 50 kids that are worthy of playing travel basketball. Even 10 might be stretching it. That totally made for 4 diluted teams. His team went 8-8, but without him they would have been 2-14. The 3 other teams went 2-14, 3-15, and 5-11. A typical game would be him scoring 24 points in a 42-28 loss. Who does that benefit? He doesn't try to score 3/4 of his team's points, his teammates just are not very good. He passes more than he shoots, but when no one else is scoring then he goes into scoring mode. Specifically, he is not a ball hog or a kid that shoots every time he touches the ball. He also only takes quality shots (for the most part), where others will try to make 30 foot turnaround fadeaway bank shots. When kids heave up shots like that on a consistent basis, you get a bit frustrated.

As for Abraham's question, current projection for adult height is 6''6".

 

[Abraham]

If you live in a small town there is no way on earth that there are even 10 players worthy of playing true travel/club ball. This is the problem these days - everyone who can write a check can be in a club team. Most high schools don't have 10 good players for a varsity team - it's two or three good players, two or three good athletes, and 7 guys that like to play basketball.

Anyway, if he has a chance to be above 6'2 but you doubt he will get above 6'6 then I would suggest he spend as much time as possible working on his handle. By the time anyone was scouting me it was a huge freaking deal that I was 6'1 but NOT playing point guard for my team. The conversations pretty much ended right away because no matter how many points I scored (a bunch) it didn't matter because a 6'1 guy that doesn't dribble wonderfully has no role on a college team.

Anyway, I would find him the best competition available that will allow him to still play a lot. If that's the team far away, go for it.

 

[James Daulton]

I agree with Abraham. Get him to start working on his handle now and have him continue now matter how much he grows. A guy that can handle the ball and create his own shot is extremely valuable in hoops. Also, assess his athleticism as he gets into high school. The more explosive he can move horizontally and vertically, the better. Good luck to your kid!

 

[bonesman]

Get him started on performance enhancing "supplements" ASAP

 

[Judge Smails]

I would say that if basketball is the goal, to take a good, honest look at your genetics.

This. Your son may be incredibly skilled and dedicated. But if his genetic ceiling is 6'0, he may crash out 5-6 years down the road when everyone else catches up.

Not trying to kill the dream or anything, but that's the harsh reality of it. You know who Mark Titus is? He was the 5th starter on an AAU team that included Greg Oden, Mike Conley, Josh McRoberts and Daequen Cook. 2 time all state performer in Indiana. And the best he could do was a walk-on spot at Ohio State (and he was 6'4) and a funny blog. Its EXTREMELY hard to be a high major D1 player. And even if you get there, the odds of making a living playing the game go down exponentially. They go down to almost nothing if you're an American white kid under 6'7. There are a total of 7 of them on NBA rosters (8 if you include Barea, who looks kinda white and is from Puerto Rico)

This is exactly the truth. Some of the best kids at an early age are the most coordinated. Sometimes even smaller kids, those old for their grade, etc. They can dominate up to high school and maybe even then. But unless they are physically gifted and the right size for a certain position careers can peter out quick. There was a guy in our circle who averaged 30+ a game up until high school. Even then he was a good 15-20 PPG scorer and great ballhandler. He ended up playing at 2 D3 Christian colleges Which is great. But not NBA or D1. If your kid wants to work that hard let him, but watch out for burnout and be realistic as a Dad

 

[McGarnicle]

I would have the condom talk ASAP. Kid is going to get truckloads of poon.

 

[Guster]

I'm curious to see where this story goes over tme

 

[Angry Beavers]

Find the right balance for him and for your family. Soak in as much information as possible. Good Luck.

 

[The_Man]

Sounds like you are handling this exactly the right way. Forget for a minute that your son's unique talent is basketball. Imagine if it were ballet, or playing the violin, or writing computer programs.

You would be remiss as a parent if you didn't do everything you could to help him develop his talent. If he truly loves it, and is as good as you say, then you should do whatever you can to support him. That being said, you need to keep basketball in perspective.

Getting good grades and being a decent human being remains the highest priority. After that, nurturing his talent and enabling him to pursue his passion needs to be the objective for basketball - not landing a scholarship or getting famous and pursuing a career. Maybe those things will happen, maybe they won't. But they should be a side effect of nurturing his gifts, not the goal. He'll have been given the opportunity to make the most of his talents, and shown the value of hard work, which will help him be successful even if he never hits the big time.

 

[matuski]

The driving 2-3 hours several times a week is where I drew the line.

Assuming this is after work, i literally couldn't hack it.

 

[BroadwayG]

See how much you can borrow against his future nba earnings

 

[Controller]

A great pianist was approached by a fan after a performance. The fan said something like "I'd give my entire life to be able to play piano like you" and the pianist replied "I did"

That's basically what it takes, usually. An undying love for the game, or the mastery of an instrument, etc is almost always required. And even that doesn't guarantee success. (There are rare exceptions of people who succeed without that dedication; they are just blessed more than the rest of us).

My son was a gifted left-handed pitcher starting around the age of 8. By the time he was 10, he had risen to the top of his Little League division. He once struck out 126 batters in 43 innings. (That's all but three outs in an entire season by strikeout) He had great control, natural movement on his pitches, and a pretty good (not overpowering) arm strength. At first he loved baseball, but little by little, his love waned. Eventually, he wanted to quit baseball in 10th grade, to focus more on academics - he decided he wanted to go to an engineering program in college, and would need 4.0+ GPA to do so.

We fought him on this and eventually he won the battle of wills. Of course we wanted him to succeed in school, but we felt he was capable of both academics and baseball. He did quit baseball, and the coaches begged and pleaded with him no to, but to no avail. His grades shot up to near 4.30 and he got in to an engineering program and was a finalist for a scholarship (lost out to a kid who already had invented a couple of things).

Looking back, my advice would be simple: if your kid has the love for the game, the dedication to stick with it and any chance of making it, then support him or her with everything you've got and you will have no regrets. If he/she ever loses that will, that's OK too. Let him/her decide how far they take that road and be their biggest fan no matter what happens.

 

[Foosball God]

I was just going to say that you should talk to Controller. Glad to see he checked in.

 

[Magic 8-Ball]

I think some people may be missing that we don't think he is the next LeBron or Jordan or even a candidate for any professional league. He's so young, to really worry much beyond the upcoming season is way premature. However, by the time he's old enough to attend college, it will cost $250K+ at a 4-year university. If playing basketball can offset some of that, that would be a good thing. Will he be a starter at Duke, UNC, or Kentucky? Probably not. But there are plenty of great schools out there that are great academically, so IMO if they are giving out money, you'd be stupid not to take it.

He's so far away that there is too much that can happen to make this little more than a footnote right now. Maybe he gets worse. Others will get better. Maybe he loses interest. Maybe he'll decide girls are more exciting. Maybe he stops growing. Maybe he'll think lacrosse is where it's at. Maybe he'll get hurt. Any or all of those could happen (and many other options as well.)

But when parents of kids that got D-I scholarships, high school coaches of kids that got D-I scholarships, and college coaches that give out D-I scholarships all tell you your kid someday will get a D-I scholarship, it's hard to not raise your hopes and aspirations. I generally say thanks for the praise and I hope you're right. But part of me wants to tell people not to get my kid's hopes up.

THE LAST THING I want him to hear are comments from parents, good or bad. One of his teams advanced to the finals of a tournament recently and he scored his team's final 20 points in regular and overtime. He got fouled shooting a three pointer at the buzzer at the end of OT and needed to make all 3 free throws to send the game to another overtime. He made the first two and the third spun around twice and fell out. He was crushed that he missed and said he should have done more for his team to win. Parents actually started getting on him that if he could make free throws they would have won. If he had let someone else score for a change they would have won. If he'd practiced foul shots more they would have won. I was like, REALLY??? That's the best you can come up with?

The coach told him good game and you can't win them all and you'll miss as many as you make. He also said it was a good learning experience and he'd get them the next game. No truer words were ever said, as the next game he made a buzzer beater to tie the game to go to OT, made a three pointer at the next buzzer to go to OT, and made a third buzzer beater to win the game. Then the same parents who mocked him the week before loved him because they won.

Which gets me back to the theme of the thread . . . HE'S ELEVEN YEARS OLD!!! Should he feel the weight of the world that he let his team down and lost a game? Should he ride the emotional rollercoaster of winning and losing? Overall, I would say no to both of those. But he LOVES, LOVES, LOVES being the one to pull out games and make the clutch shots. It's such a rush he can't get enough. So I would say for OTHER KIDS I would say no, but for him I think it's ok.

And for those that have never been, these AAU tournaments have some really good players and good basketball going on. They are extremely well attended and for bigger tournaments, there could be a couple hundred people watching, even the younger kid's games. One game he came off the court and asked where all the people came from and what were they doing there, and when we said they were all watching his game he didn't believe it. He hadn't even noticed.

So to summarize, on the one hand it's just a silly kid's game until they are old enough and then it's not. I'm still waiting to figure when it goes from a little kid's game to actually counting for something.

 

[bigbottom]

Sounds like you are handling this exactly the right way. Forget for a minute that your son's unique talent is basketball. Imagine if it were ballet, or playing the violin, or writing computer programs.

You would be remiss as a parent if you didn't do everything you could to help him develop his talent. If he truly loves it, and is as good as you say, then you should do whatever you can to support him. That being said, you need to keep basketball in perspective.

Getting good grades and being a decent human being remains the highest priority. After that, nurturing his talent and enabling him to pursue his passion needs to be the objective for basketball - not landing a scholarship or getting famous and pursuing a career. Maybe those things will happen, maybe they won't. But they should be a side effect of nurturing his gifts, not the goal. He'll have been given the opportunity to make the most of his talents, and shown the value of hard work, which will help him be successful even if he never hits the big time.

I like this response. A lot.

 

[Mile High]

So to summarize, on the one hand it's just a silly kid's game until they are old enough and then it's not. I'm still waiting to figure when it goes from a little kid's game to actually counting for something.

High school.

 

[optionmaven]

I'll ask my Mom.

 

[The_Man]

Sounds like you are handling this exactly the right way. Forget for a minute that your son's unique talent is basketball. Imagine if it were ballet, or playing the violin, or writing computer programs.

You would be remiss as a parent if you didn't do everything you could to help him develop his talent. If he truly loves it, and is as good as you say, then you should do whatever you can to support him. That being said, you need to keep basketball in perspective.

Getting good grades and being a decent human being remains the highest priority. After that, nurturing his talent and enabling him to pursue his passion needs to be the objective for basketball - not landing a scholarship or getting famous and pursuing a career. Maybe those things will happen, maybe they won't. But they should be a side effect of nurturing his gifts, not the goal. He'll have been given the opportunity to make the most of his talents, and shown the value of hard work, which will help him be successful even if he never hits the big time.

I like this response. A lot.

This is a very interesting thread, and I don't want to turn it into a "Look at me." But I do want to go ahead and mention my own son here and thank him for ensuring that I will never have to deal with the kind of complex and stressful situation that the OP is dealing with.

 

[Magic 8-Ball]

Figured I would toss out an update. Had some ups and downs this year on the basketball front. Stuck on a poor team, differences with the coaches, had some great games, put had a lot of where he didn't play much. Head coach tried to tell us that him sitting was the best thing for him, as it would allow other kids on the team to get better which would help in the long run on future school teams. Given that he "played up" one grade and sometimes two grades on prior AAU teams, to see his playing time cut sometimes by 50% playing on your hometown, grade level travel team was a bit disappointing. I think they just wanted to sit him because he started doing too well, but who really knows. Just had a game where the opposition went for the Hack-a-Shaq approach, and he made 18 out of 19 free throws and ended with 26 points on the game.

This time of year is nuts. He got offered a spot on at least 12 AAU teams in 2 states at 3 different grade levels. Still getting contacted by coaches trying to get him on their team. Really hard to figure out what setting is best. Don't want to give him a prima donna complex and have him think he is "all that." Local private high school coach ALREADY trying to recruit him (he's only in 6th grade).

As for other hoops related stuff, went to camps, clinics, skills and drills, etc. when we had the chance. Not all just games or tournaments. Looked into getting him more into preliminary work out and conditioning stuff, but was advised to wait (only 12 years old).

Still doing well otherwise. The kid is still excelling academically. Still never had less than an A in any class. Just got named First Team Scholastic All New England by Pop Warner for football, top 1% academically in the country out of 400,000+ youth football players. Can't ask for more than that. :fingerscrossed:

 

[Abraham]

It isn't your sons responsibility to help the other kids get better by sitting on the bench. 6th grade is fun time. But on the last 6 months he has probably matured in a number of ways and starting to explore his interest and commitment to basketball is probably in the cards at this point.

The only thing that's going to keep him from being a prima Donna is the humility he learns in other facets of life. He sounds like a good kid. Good luck.

 

[TLEF316]

Not to sound like a creepy dude from the internet but any video of his game? I'm curious to see what an elite 11 year old player looks like.

 

[comfortably numb]

Not to sound like a creepy dude from the internet but any video of his game? I'm curious to see what an elite 11 year old player looks like.

 

[elguapo07]

Figured I would toss out an update. Had some ups and downs this year on the basketball front. Stuck on a poor team, differences with the coaches, had some great games, put had a lot of where he didn't play much. Head coach tried to tell us that him sitting was the best thing for him, as it would allow other kids on the team to get better which would help in the long run on future school teams. Given that he "played up" one grade and sometimes two grades on prior AAU teams, to see his playing time cut sometimes by 50% playing on your hometown, grade level travel team was a bit disappointing. I think they just wanted to sit him because he started doing too well, but who really knows. Just had a game where the opposition went for the Hack-a-Shaq approach, and he made 18 out of 19 free throws and ended with 26 points on the game.

This time of year is nuts. He got offered a spot on at least 12 AAU teams in 2 states at 3 different grade levels. Still getting contacted by coaches trying to get him on their team. Really hard to figure out what setting is best. Don't want to give him a prima donna complex and have him think he is "all that." Local private high school coach ALREADY trying to recruit him (he's only in 6th grade).

As for other hoops related stuff, went to camps, clinics, skills and drills, etc. when we had the chance. Not all just games or tournaments. Looked into getting him more into preliminary work out and conditioning stuff, but was advised to wait (only 12 years old).

Still doing well otherwise. The kid is still excelling academically. Still never had less than an A in any class. Just got named First Team Scholastic All New England by Pop Warner for football, top 1% academically in the country out of 400,000+ youth football players. Can't ask for more than that. :fingerscrossed:

Just curious, which part of NE are you from as there is a big difference between EMass and Vermont or NH.

 

[Magic 8-Ball]

Just curious, which part of NE are you from as there is a big difference between EMass and Vermont or NH.

NH. Which is why we had him play up and play in Eastern MA.

 

[DiStefano]

He's obviously an elite talent for his age (and a bit beyond) and is willing to put in his 10,000 hours (pace Malcolm Gladwell). The only caveat I would make is that kids develop at different ages, and many high schoolers peak in their high school years and never get beyond that. If you look at track, for instance, very few junior high track stars make it as adults. Others may catch up to him and surpass him in talent, even if not in dedication. Not too many Little League stars make it to the majors; obviously a number of them do, but the percentage is very small.

 

[elguapo07]

Just curious, which part of NE are you from as there is a big difference between EMass and Vermont or NH.

NH. Which is why we had him play up and play in Eastern MA.

The prep/private schools in Mass and So. NH load up on talent so if they do come sniffing around take a long look as just off the top of my head in the last few years schools like Tilton and some of the other preps in the area have produced local talents: Nerlens Noel, Michael Carter Williams, Georges Niang and Wayne Selden amongst others. Middle school is when the exceptional kids really start to get attention from the AAU teams and then they try to steer them to the prep/privates. Be ready....

Have a buddy who has a son in 8th grade in EMass. Stud athlete, star of his pop warner team that won the Natl title down at Disney in Dec, and a potential scholarship type player in lax and possibly golf. One of the private schools on the No Shore offered him a full ride to play lax next year but my buddy's son want to play sports for his hometown HS as their HS has excellent athletic teams. This is my buddy's youngest of 3 kids and would be ecstatic if his kid could get a college scholarship (word is he's a lax prodigy per those in the know). It's been interesting to see his son grow over the years as the kid has been dominating since the first day he stepped on the field. With a lot of these kids that are studs when their young you'd figure kids would eventually catch up but he'll be in HS next year and he just continues to dominate.

I think you're doing the right thing by having him play up against older kids and in more competitive leagues. The next few yrs will be interesting so keep him on the right path and see where it takes you. Good luck

 

[elguapo07]

Sounds like you are handling this exactly the right way. Forget for a minute that your son's unique talent is basketball. Imagine if it were ballet, or playing the violin, or writing computer programs.

You would be remiss as a parent if you didn't do everything you could to help him develop his talent. If he truly loves it, and is as good as you say, then you should do whatever you can to support him. That being said, you need to keep basketball in perspective.

Getting good grades and being a decent human being remains the highest priority. After that, nurturing his talent and enabling him to pursue his passion needs to be the objective for basketball - not landing a scholarship or getting famous and pursuing a career. Maybe those things will happen, maybe they won't. But they should be a side effect of nurturing his gifts, not the goal. He'll have been given the opportunity to make the most of his talents, and shown the value of hard work, which will help him be successful even if he never hits the big time.

I like this response. A lot.

Just re-read this post. This is all net!