Marriage and Friends of the Opposite Sex (1 Viewer)

[Dondante]

If you're content with staying with insecure significant others, by all means stay away from opposite sex friends. It sounds like neither of you can handle it. But if you decide to be grown ups there's absolutely nothing wrong with it.

Why do you need an opposite sex friend...What can they provide you that your male friends can't....Oh yeah one thing...and that is where the trouble ensues...Frankly I can't trust a dude who can be friends only with women.

WHo said anything about only having female friends?

 

[Ditka Butkus]

If you're content with staying with insecure significant others, by all means stay away from opposite sex friends. It sounds like neither of you can handle it. But if you decide to be grown ups there's absolutely nothing wrong with it.

Why do you need an opposite sex friend...What can they provide you that your male friends can't....Oh yeah one thing...and that is where the trouble ensues...Frankly I can't trust a dude who can be friends only with women.

WHo said anything about only having female friends?

My question was if you have male friends why do you need female friends and what can they do for you?

 

[Dondante]

If you're content with staying with insecure significant others, by all means stay away from opposite sex friends. It sounds like neither of you can handle it. But if you decide to be grown ups there's absolutely nothing wrong with it.

Why do you need an opposite sex friend...What can they provide you that your male friends can't....Oh yeah one thing...and that is where the trouble ensues...Frankly I can't trust a dude who can be friends only with women.

WHo said anything about only having female friends?

My question was if you have male friends why do you need female friends and what can they do for you?

They're just friends, man. If you're not banging the broads what difference does it make? Friends are friends.

 

[Ditka Butkus]

If you're content with staying with insecure significant others, by all means stay away from opposite sex friends. It sounds like neither of you can handle it. But if you decide to be grown ups there's absolutely nothing wrong with it.

Why do you need an opposite sex friend...What can they provide you that your male friends can't....Oh yeah one thing...and that is where the trouble ensues...Frankly I can't trust a dude who can be friends only with women.

WHo said anything about only having female friends?

My question was if you have male friends why do you need female friends and what can they do for you?

They're just friends, man. If you're not banging the broads what difference does it make? Friends are friends.

That's just it why aren't you banging the broads or at least trying?..It doesn't make sense to me.

 

[Dondante]

If you're content with staying with insecure significant others, by all means stay away from opposite sex friends. It sounds like neither of you can handle it. But if you decide to be grown ups there's absolutely nothing wrong with it.

Why do you need an opposite sex friend...What can they provide you that your male friends can't....Oh yeah one thing...and that is where the trouble ensues...Frankly I can't trust a dude who can be friends only with women.

WHo said anything about only having female friends?

My question was if you have male friends why do you need female friends and what can they do for you?

They're just friends, man. If you're not banging the broads what difference does it make? Friends are friends.

That's just it why aren't you banging the broads or at least trying?..It doesn't make sense to me.

My honest answer is that I get more than I can handle at home. That's part of why I'm happy and secure in my relationship and so is she. I have friends that are broads that I knew before I met my girlfriend and I'm not going to stop being friends with them because I'm in a relationship. She wouldn't want me to or ask me to and neither would I. Does it really need this much explanation?

 

[Ditka Butkus]

If you're content with staying with insecure significant others, by all means stay away from opposite sex friends. It sounds like neither of you can handle it. But if you decide to be grown ups there's absolutely nothing wrong with it.

Why do you need an opposite sex friend...What can they provide you that your male friends can't....Oh yeah one thing...and that is where the trouble ensues...Frankly I can't trust a dude who can be friends only with women.

WHo said anything about only having female friends?

My question was if you have male friends why do you need female friends and what can they do for you?

They're just friends, man. If you're not banging the broads what difference does it make? Friends are friends.

That's just it why aren't you banging the broads or at least trying?..It doesn't make sense to me.

My honest answer is that I get more than I can handle at home. That's part of why I'm happy and secure in my relationship and so is she. I have friends that are broads that I knew before I met my girlfriend and I'm not going to stop being friends with them because I'm in a relationship. She wouldn't want me to or ask me to and neither would I. Does it really need this much explanation?

Well no you don't have to explain yourself.....I'm just trying to understand....I have never had a female friend.....I have had sex with women who I am now friendly with, but given the chance I would have sex with them again....I have women who I am friendly with now but that is because given the chance I would like to have sex with them...Are these the types of friendships you are talking about?

 

[xulf]

I go with the - no friends of any kind of approach.

 

[Dondante]

If you're content with staying with insecure significant others, by all means stay away from opposite sex friends. It sounds like neither of you can handle it. But if you decide to be grown ups there's absolutely nothing wrong with it.

Why do you need an opposite sex friend...What can they provide you that your male friends can't....Oh yeah one thing...and that is where the trouble ensues...Frankly I can't trust a dude who can be friends only with women.

WHo said anything about only having female friends?

My question was if you have male friends why do you need female friends and what can they do for you?

They're just friends, man. If you're not banging the broads what difference does it make? Friends are friends.

That's just it why aren't you banging the broads or at least trying?..It doesn't make sense to me.

My honest answer is that I get more than I can handle at home. That's part of why I'm happy and secure in my relationship and so is she. I have friends that are broads that I knew before I met my girlfriend and I'm not going to stop being friends with them because I'm in a relationship. She wouldn't want me to or ask me to and neither would I. Does it really need this much explanation?

Well no you don't have to explain yourself.....I'm just trying to understand....I have never had a female friend.....I have had sex with women who I am now friendly with, but given the chance I would have sex with them again....I have women who I am friendly with now but that is because given the chance I would like to have sex with them...Are these the types of friendships you are talking about?

Most definitely. I just don't bang them anymore and for the most part my gf doesn't know I banged them, necessarily. She probably assumes, though. Like I said, it doesn't get in the way. I'm 35 and she's 25 so we have basically one thing in common and we like it that way.

 

[Ditka Butkus]

If you're content with staying with insecure significant others, by all means stay away from opposite sex friends. It sounds like neither of you can handle it. But if you decide to be grown ups there's absolutely nothing wrong with it.

Why do you need an opposite sex friend...What can they provide you that your male friends can't....Oh yeah one thing...and that is where the trouble ensues...Frankly I can't trust a dude who can be friends only with women.

WHo said anything about only having female friends?

My question was if you have male friends why do you need female friends and what can they do for you?

They're just friends, man. If you're not banging the broads what difference does it make? Friends are friends.

That's just it why aren't you banging the broads or at least trying?..It doesn't make sense to me.

My honest answer is that I get more than I can handle at home. That's part of why I'm happy and secure in my relationship and so is she. I have friends that are broads that I knew before I met my girlfriend and I'm not going to stop being friends with them because I'm in a relationship. She wouldn't want me to or ask me to and neither would I. Does it really need this much explanation?

Well no you don't have to explain yourself.....I'm just trying to understand....I have never had a female friend.....I have had sex with women who I am now friendly with, but given the chance I would have sex with them again....I have women who I am friendly with now but that is because given the chance I would like to have sex with them...Are these the types of friendships you are talking about?

Most definitely. I just don't bang them anymore and for the most part my gf doesn't know I banged them, necessarily. She probably assumes, though. Like I said, it doesn't get in the way. I'm 35 and she's 25 so we have basically one thing in common and we like it that way.

Ok great.......See now I feel better about myself....I was beginning to think there was something wrong with me, or maybe you. Thanks!

 

[Freelove]

If you're content with staying with insecure significant others, by all means stay away from opposite sex friends. It sounds like neither of you can handle it. But if you decide to be grown ups there's absolutely nothing wrong with it.

Why do you need an opposite sex friend...What can they provide you that your male friends can't....Oh yeah one thing...and that is where the trouble ensues...Frankly I can't trust a dude who can be friends only with women.

WHo said anything about only having female friends?

My question was if you have male friends why do you need female friends and what can they do for you?

Different people have different personalities, and some of them are more interesting and fun to be around than others. This is true whether they have penises or not.

 

[Gianni Verscotchie]

If you're content with staying with insecure significant others, by all means stay away from opposite sex friends. It sounds like neither of you can handle it. But if you decide to be grown ups there's absolutely nothing wrong with it.

Why do you need an opposite sex friend...What can they provide you that your male friends can't....Oh yeah one thing...and that is where the trouble ensues...Frankly I can't trust a dude who can be friends only with women.

WHo said anything about only having female friends?

My question was if you have male friends why do you need female friends and what can they do for you?

Different people have different personalities, and some of them are more interesting and fun to be around than others. This is true whether they have penises or not.

Does not compute

 

[Osaurus]

I would generally this type of friendship is a major no no for most guys. I think there are exceptions to the rule though. By no means am I saying these friendships are easy to manage, but if everyone is clear about the parameters of the friendship, then there should not be any problems. This assumes there is plenty of ongoing dialog among all parties involved.

 

[Deranged Hermit]

I gave the 'girl friend' a try once. We worked together and our families hung out together so my wife thought nothing of it when she and I would hit up Wild Wings to watch a baseball game. It was fine until she started to have a lot of fights with her husband and she thought I might make a good 'replacement wiener'. I cut off all communication with her and haven't spoken to her since.

Moral of the story: #####es be crazy.....

 

[Gianni Verscotchie]

I gave the 'girl friend' a try once. We worked together and our families hung out together so my wife thought nothing of it when she and I would hit up Wild Wings to watch a baseball game. It was fine until she started to have a lot of fights with her husband and she thought I might make a good 'replacement wiener'. I cut off all communication with her and haven't spoken to her since.

Moral of the story: #####es be crazy.....

You were the "In Case of Emergency, Break Glass" dong

 

[sublimeone]

If you're content with staying with insecure significant others, by all means stay away from opposite sex friends. It sounds like neither of you can handle it. But if you decide to be grown ups there's absolutely nothing wrong with it.

what if the significant other is insecure because you "messed up" and banged your ex-wife for a while?

 

[EYLive]

If you're content with staying with insecure significant others, by all means stay away from opposite sex friends. It sounds like neither of you can handle it. But if you decide to be grown ups there's absolutely nothing wrong with it.

Why do you need an opposite sex friend...What can they provide you that your male friends can't....Oh yeah one thing...and that is where the trouble ensues...Frankly I can't trust a dude who can be friends only with women.

WHo said anything about only having female friends?

My question was if you have male friends why do you need female friends and what can they do for you?

They're just friends, man. If you're not banging the broads what difference does it make? Friends are friends.

That's just it why aren't you banging the broads or at least trying?..It doesn't make sense to me.

My honest answer is that I get more than I can handle at home. That's part of why I'm happy and secure in my relationship and so is she. I have friends that are broads that I knew before I met my girlfriend and I'm not going to stop being friends with them because I'm in a relationship. She wouldn't want me to or ask me to and neither would I. Does it really need this much explanation?

Well no you don't have to explain yourself.....I'm just trying to understand....I have never had a female friend.....I have had sex with women who I am now friendly with, but given the chance I would have sex with them again....I have women who I am friendly with now but that is because given the chance I would like to have sex with them...Are these the types of friendships you are talking about?

Most definitely. I just don't bang them anymore and for the most part my gf doesn't know I banged them, necessarily. She probably assumes, though. Like I said, it doesn't get in the way. I'm 35 and she's 25 so we have basically one thing in common and we like it that way.

Ok great.......See now I feel better about myself....I was beginning to think there was something wrong with me, or maybe you. Thanks!

I think there might be something wrong if every female you chose to associate with becomes a sexual object. Females are people, why can't you connect with them on a purely human level? Why is gender such a roadblock to you?

I have a female friend who happens to be a financial adviser, and she gives me lots of good ideas on how to manage my money. It'd be dumb to end the friendship and then look for a male that can offer the same expertise.

 

[Half in the bag]

When it comes to consenting adults I say to each his own. I believe life should be lived guilt free and as long as its legal anything goes. Otherwise go live in a monastery or convent.

You only have one life to live

 

[Sabertooth]

When it comes to consenting adults I say to each his own. I believe life should be lived guilt free and as long as its legal anything goes. Otherwise go live in a monastery or convent.

You only have one life to live

So you are against pot?

 

[belljr]

He'll no. I have female acquaintances but none I would text or talk too alone

 

[jomar]

If you're content with staying with insecure significant others, by all means stay away from opposite sex friends. It sounds like neither of you can handle it. But if you decide to be grown ups there's absolutely nothing wrong with it.

Is this the same guy who a few posts after this admitted that he never actually told his SO that he banged his female friends?

 

[Tick]

I would never tell others what they should do but these are the rules that I use.

- No female friends that are not friends with my wife

- Never be alone with another woman

- Never discuss my relationship with my wife with another woman

Not saying others need to do this but it allows me to essentially be on cruise control and not worry about what I or someone else will do.

I agree all around - do what works for your family, but this is how I treat it.

Thought I might be stuck with a business dinner with a woman this week, but it sounds like I can include some other guy.

 

[HughHoney]

When it comes to consenting adults I say to each his own. I believe life should be lived guilt free and as long as its legal anything goes. Otherwise go live in a monastery or convent.

You only have one life to live

How long have you been single?

 

[chauncey]

I would never tell others what they should do but these are the rules that I use.

- No female friends that are not friends with my wife

- Never be alone with another woman

- Never discuss my relationship with my wife with another woman

Not saying others need to do this but it allows me to essentially be on cruise control and not worry about what I or someone else will do.

I agree all around - do what works for your family, but this is how I treat it.Thought I might be stuck with a business dinner with a woman this week, but it sounds like I can include some other guy.

Including some other girl would be a much better plan.

 

[Cjw_55106]

I'll simply say this...no dude is taking my wife and kids to a movie and/or lunch.

 

[Christo]

I'll simply say this...no dude is taking my wife and kids to a movie and/or lunch.

That you know of.

 

[Cjw_55106]

I'll simply say this...no dude is taking my wife and kids to a movie and/or lunch.

That you know of.

Thats a fact Jack.

 

[Godsbrother]

If a friendship with a woman made my wife uncomfortable then I would end it.

 

[Insein]

If a friendship with a woman made my wife uncomfortable then I would end it.

The friendship or the marriage?

 

[Godsbrother]

If a friendship with a woman made my wife uncomfortable then I would end it.

The friendship or the marriage?

It depends on which woman is hotter

 

[Osaurus]

If a friendship with a woman made my wife uncomfortable then I would end it.

Totally agree with this.

 

[Slapdash]

This thread is strange to me. Being friends with a female is just as easy as being friends with a male.

 

[Cliff Clavin]

This thread is strange to me. Being friends with a female is just as easy as being friends with a male.

Some people have zero self control.

 

[pollardsvision]

This thread is strange to me. Being friends with a female is just as easy as being friends with a male.

I think most people in this thread are really talking about different things.

There's "having a friend that's a woman".

Then there's having a wife, kids, and job, and spending some of what precious "free" time you might have doing "friend things" alone with another woman.

For many in here, it's the latter that they are saying isn't likely to happen and they'll probably avoid. Not a 21 year old hanging with a chick that they just happen to not have banged (or for some in here, chicks they just aren't banging at the moment, so they are "friends")

 

[fatguyinalittlecoat]

This thread is strange to me. Being friends with a female is just as easy as being friends with a male.

I think most people in this thread are really talking about different things.

There's "having a friend that's a woman".

Then there's having a wife, kids, and job, and spending some of what precious "free" time you might have doing "friend things" alone with another woman.

For many in here, it's the latter that they are saying isn't likely to happen and they'll probably avoid. Not a 21 year old hanging with a chick that they just happen to not have banged (or for some in here, chicks they just aren't banging at the moment, so they are "friends")

Yeah, I think this is an important distinction. "Friend" can have a lot of different meanings.

 

[jomar]

This thread is strange to me. Being friends with a female is just as easy as being friends with a male.

are you serious? we're not talking about being friends in this thread, but being close friends. Like taking our kids out to movies together without our spouses type close. Like meeting out for beers without our spouses type close. and the OP is doing this with a women he just met a year ago, not like she's some old high school friend. I think there is a big difference there. if its a close friend you've known for longer than you've known your wife, ok maybe I could see it. but if you meet a woman after your married and want to be close friends and do things with them without the spouse, then I have to ask why?

what would you talk about while out having beers with your average woman? the interests are completely different. she wants to talk about a new outfit she bought and I want to talk about how our closer blew another save the night before. and you can't talk about your relationship with your spouse with someone from the opposite sex, that's just asking for trouble.

 

[Slapdash]

This thread is strange to me. Being friends with a female is just as easy as being friends with a male.

are you serious? we're not talking about being friends in this thread, but being close friends. Like taking our kids out to movies together without our spouses type close. Like meeting out for beers without our spouses type close. and the OP is doing this with a women he just met a year ago, not like she's some old high school friend. I think there is a big difference there. if its a close friend you've known for longer than you've known your wife, ok maybe I could see it. but if you meet a woman after your married and want to be close friends and do things with them without the spouse, then I have to ask why?

what would you talk about while out having beers with your average woman? the interests are completely different. she wants to talk about a new outfit she bought and I want to talk about how our closer blew another save the night before. and you can't talk about your relationship with your spouse with someone from the opposite sex, that's just asking for trouble.

Answering your questions:

Yes.

Maybe my spouse isn't interested in doing those things? There are various activities that my fiance would rather sit at home than doing.

Same things I normally would talk to anyone about. Food, music, or movies mostly. I'm not interested in baseball, but do most of my sports talking on the internet anyways.

 

[FUBAR]

This thread is strange to me. Being friends with a female is just as easy as being friends with a male.

are you serious? we're not talking about being friends in this thread, but being close friends. Like taking our kids out to movies together without our spouses type close. Like meeting out for beers without our spouses type close. and the OP is doing this with a women he just met a year ago, not like she's some old high school friend. I think there is a big difference there. if its a close friend you've known for longer than you've known your wife, ok maybe I could see it. but if you meet a woman after your married and want to be close friends and do things with them without the spouse, then I have to ask why?

what would you talk about while out having beers with your average woman? the interests are completely different. she wants to talk about a new outfit she bought and I want to talk about how our closer blew another save the night before. and you can't talk about your relationship with your spouse with someone from the opposite sex, that's just asking for trouble.

I forgot we're in the 1950s.

 

[jomar]

This thread is strange to me. Being friends with a female is just as easy as being friends with a male.

are you serious? we're not talking about being friends in this thread, but being close friends. Like taking our kids out to movies together without our spouses type close. Like meeting out for beers without our spouses type close. and the OP is doing this with a women he just met a year ago, not like she's some old high school friend. I think there is a big difference there. if its a close friend you've known for longer than you've known your wife, ok maybe I could see it. but if you meet a woman after your married and want to be close friends and do things with them without the spouse, then I have to ask why?

what would you talk about while out having beers with your average woman? the interests are completely different. she wants to talk about a new outfit she bought and I want to talk about how our closer blew another save the night before. and you can't talk about your relationship with your spouse with someone from the opposite sex, that's just asking for trouble.

I forgot we're in the 1950s.

are you disputing that the average woman likes to talk about clothes more than baseball?

 

[FUBAR]

This thread is strange to me. Being friends with a female is just as easy as being friends with a male.

are you serious? we're not talking about being friends in this thread, but being close friends. Like taking our kids out to movies together without our spouses type close. Like meeting out for beers without our spouses type close. and the OP is doing this with a women he just met a year ago, not like she's some old high school friend. I think there is a big difference there. if its a close friend you've known for longer than you've known your wife, ok maybe I could see it. but if you meet a woman after your married and want to be close friends and do things with them without the spouse, then I have to ask why?

what would you talk about while out having beers with your average woman? the interests are completely different. she wants to talk about a new outfit she bought and I want to talk about how our closer blew another save the night before. and you can't talk about your relationship with your spouse with someone from the opposite sex, that's just asking for trouble.

I forgot we're in the 1950s.

are you disputing that the average woman likes to talk about clothes more than baseball?

we would never be friends with an average woman.

 

[pollardsvision]

This thread is strange to me. Being friends with a female is just as easy as being friends with a male.

are you serious? we're not talking about being friends in this thread, but being close friends. Like taking our kids out to movies together without our spouses type close. Like meeting out for beers without our spouses type close. and the OP is doing this with a women he just met a year ago, not like she's some old high school friend. I think there is a big difference there. if its a close friend you've known for longer than you've known your wife, ok maybe I could see it. but if you meet a woman after your married and want to be close friends and do things with them without the spouse, then I have to ask why?

what would you talk about while out having beers with your average woman? the interests are completely different. she wants to talk about a new outfit she bought and I want to talk about how our closer blew another save the night before. and you can't talk about your relationship with your spouse with someone from the opposite sex, that's just asking for trouble.

Answering your questions:

Yes.

Maybe my spouse isn't interested in doing those things? There are various activities that my fiance would rather sit at home than doing.

Same things I normally would talk to anyone about. Food, music, or movies mostly. I'm not interested in baseball, but do most of my sports talking on the internet anyways.

Could you be more specific?

What sort of things do you like doing with another woman that your wife isn't interested in?

Also, is your wife interested in food, music, or movies?

Mostly meaning "new" women, as there does seem to be a difference in forming new close relationships with women after marriage, and maintaining old ones.

 

[Slapdash]

This thread is strange to me. Being friends with a female is just as easy as being friends with a male.

are you serious? we're not talking about being friends in this thread, but being close friends. Like taking our kids out to movies together without our spouses type close. Like meeting out for beers without our spouses type close. and the OP is doing this with a women he just met a year ago, not like she's some old high school friend. I think there is a big difference there. if its a close friend you've known for longer than you've known your wife, ok maybe I could see it. but if you meet a woman after your married and want to be close friends and do things with them without the spouse, then I have to ask why?

what would you talk about while out having beers with your average woman? the interests are completely different. she wants to talk about a new outfit she bought and I want to talk about how our closer blew another save the night before. and you can't talk about your relationship with your spouse with someone from the opposite sex, that's just asking for trouble.

Answering your questions:

Yes.

Maybe my spouse isn't interested in doing those things? There are various activities that my fiance would rather sit at home than doing.

Same things I normally would talk to anyone about. Food, music, or movies mostly. I'm not interested in baseball, but do most of my sports talking on the internet anyways.

Could you be more specific?

What sort of things do you like doing with another woman that your wife isn't interested in?

Also, is your wife interested in food, music, or movies?

Mostly meaning "new" women, as there does seem to be a difference in forming new close relationships with women after marriage, and maintaining old ones.

Bars, sports, concerts, and outdoor activities is mostly what I was thinking. A lot of that has to do with health issues that prevent her from being in sunlight for long or having more than a drink or two. She is interested in food, but not music or movies.

 

[McGarnicle]

This thread is strange to me. Being friends with a female is just as easy as being friends with a male.

Some people have zero self control.

Hi, how are ya.

 

[pollardsvision]

Answering your questions:

Yes.

Maybe my spouse isn't interested in doing those things? There are various activities that my fiance would rather sit at home than doing.

Same things I normally would talk to anyone about. Food, music, or movies mostly. I'm not interested in baseball, but do most of my sports talking on the internet anyways.

Could you be more specific?

What sort of things do you like doing with another woman that your wife isn't interested in?

Also, is your wife interested in food, music, or movies?

Mostly meaning "new" women, as there does seem to be a difference in forming new close relationships with women after marriage, and maintaining old ones.

Bars, sports, concerts, and outdoor activities is mostly what I was thinking. A lot of that has to do with health issues that prevent her from being in sunlight for long or having more than a drink or two. She is interested in food, but not music or movies.

Gotcha. I'm probably in the "married men/women can be friends, thought it's probably inappropriate more often than not" camp.

I have long history of close female friendships from HS/college, and was even a bridesmaid, so I understand that male/female non-sexual relationships can be great. I wouldn't rule it out, but I have a hard time imagining myself drumming up a new one though.

 

[Cliff Clavin]

I have long history of close female friendships from HS/college, and was even a bridesmaid

 

[belljr]

Wait ....did I just read you were a bridesmaid?

 

[SacramentoBob]

Wait ....did I just read you were a bridesmaid?

This could be better than the male cheerleader thread.

 

[Gary Coal Man]

Some people have zero self control.

Definitely applies to women when they're around me.

 

[Steve Tasker]

Wait ....did I just read you were a bridesmaid?

A male co-worker of mine was recently the "man of honor" in a chick's wedding. Friend Zone level 1000.

 

[pollardsvision]

Wait ....did I just read you were a bridesmaid?

Yes. A couple I knew from school, but was much closer to the bride than the groom. A sister of sorts.

I've become better friends with the husband since(via fantasy football/baseball leagues as much as anything), but he was more of an acquaintance than close friend before they got together.

 

[Gary Coal Man]

Wait ....did I just read you were a bridesmaid?

Yes. A couple I knew from school, but was much closer to the bride than the groom. A sister of sorts.

I've become better friends with the husband since(via fantasy football/baseball leagues as much as anything), but he was more of an acquaintance than close friend before they got together.

How much did the bridesmaid dress set you back?