Mr. Irrelevant's letter to Matt Millen (1 Viewer)

[MSULions]

Linked due to plenty of profanity

 

[poopdawg]

Wow. That wont land him a job.

 

[Mmen of Steel]

No way that's real.

But it IS funny.

 

[tex]

What was his major? Creative writing?

 

[prymetyme25]

Linked due to plenty of profanity

that was pretty funny

 

[Our Gang]

What was his major? Creative writing?

I am temped to post it, just to see what the language filter does with it.

 

[Kev4029]

That was one of the funnier things I've read in a long while. Classic.

 

[Ducegonads]

Certainly worth the read. Funny f-ing s###, and no way that's real.

 

[chook]

OH God that was funny.

And he is on Wiki too. Just not as described in his letter.... yet.

Wiki link

 

[Chaos Commish]

I may just be the first “Mr. Irrelevant” to hold out on their team. I want 3 mill just to show up to your bunkass city, and another 2 mill for not beating the #### out of you and your assistant. Cuz that’s how Ramzee ####### Robinson rolls. How’s that for irrelevant?

 

[Zoomanji]

**** as a tennis helmet

 

[TheGreatest]

Priceless!

 

[Righetti]

http://loserwithsocks.wordpress.com/2007/0...-detriot-lions/

 

[Team Tosh]

That's better than any Onion Article that I've read in a while.

Classic

 

[ConstruxBoy]

Awesome!

 

[Slinger]

First off, what in the #### does “fluid hips” mean? That sounds as queer as a tennis helmet.

 

[Demian]

 

[Bruno2]

I needed a good laugh. That was hilarious.

 

[massraider]

No way that's real.

Good call, mate.

 

[redman]

No way that's real.

Good call, mate.

Nothing ever gets by that guy. He's :X

 

[flapgreen]

That's absolute brilliance. :X

 

[nygiants56]

"Where in the f### did you have me rated in your draft evaluations? Number 255? Cuz that’s where you f###ing picked me. How exactly did you differentiate between 254 and 255? Testicle size? SAT scores?"

:X

 

[Robbie Cooper]

Not quite as funny as Ethan Albright's letter to John Madden for rating him as the lowest player in Madden Football. But still pretty damned funny.

 

[flapgreen]

Not quite as funny as Ethan Albright's letter to John Madden for rating him as the lowest player in Madden Football. But still pretty damned funny.

That was a classic too. ETA: link broken

 

[larry_boy_44]

Not quite as funny as Ethan Albright's letter to John Madden for rating him as the lowest player in Madden Football. But still pretty damned funny.

Finally, I would like to comment on an unlikely topic, my pass coverage ratings. I see that I am a better at man-to-man coverage (31) than zone (21). #### me sideways with a lunchbox. Where did these scores even come from? How much time is spent coming up with the pass coverage ratings of offensive lineman? Can I have that job? Let’s see here, I think that Orlando Pace would be slightly better at jumping intermediate routes than Larry Allen. While I’m at it, I can assign the passing ratings for offensive lineman as well. I can use mine as a guide.

I was rated with a throwing power of 17 and accuracy of 16. Orlando Pace has a 22 power and 17 accuracy rating. Did someone at EA really put time into figuring out that Orlando Pace edges out Ethan Albright in both throwing power and accuracy? I will challenge him any day. My horrible passer ratings are of greatest misfortune to my son, Red Beard Jr. The poor boy is not only hideously ugly and covered by freakishly large freckles. He also has to suffer through playing catch with me and my senile-elderly-woman-type passer ratings. A session of tossing the pigskin usually consists of me missing my son by thirty yards in sporadic directions. I led him in front of a fire truck once and my wife kicked my ###. This is because of my 76 toughness rating. Yes, a 76 is far better than the other ratings, but I’m a ####### lineman, damn it. NFL Linemen are considered to be synonymous with toughness. According to your game, I am a ######ed, uncoordinated, #####-### ####wad that can’t fall on a kickoff, throw, or spell. I am, however, slightly better at manning up on a receiver than dropping into zone coverage. You lose your mind more and more each year, old man.

who does come up with those ratings???

 

[fatness]

Not quite as funny as Ethan Albright's letter to John Madden for rating him as the lowest player in Madden Football. But still pretty damned funny.

It’s also pretty wonderful that my awareness rating was 59. You make it sound like I wake up in the morning, helplessly #### and piss myself, then lose three of my teeth before I discover that I am trying to eat a rock for breakfast.

 

[turkishkamel]

Not quite as funny as Ethan Albright's letter to John Madden for rating him as the lowest player in Madden Football. But still pretty damned funny.

It’s also pretty wonderful that my awareness rating was 59. You make it sound like I wake up in the morning, helplessly #### and piss myself, then lose three of my teeth before I discover that I am trying to eat a rock for breakfast.

laughed myself to tears

 

[Ned]

Not quite as funny as Ethan Albright's letter to John Madden for rating him as the lowest player in Madden Football. But still pretty damned funny.

It’s also pretty wonderful that my awareness rating was 59. You make it sound like I wake up in the morning, helplessly #### and piss myself, then lose three of my teeth before I discover that I am trying to eat a rock for breakfast.

 

[Neil Beaufort Zod]

Not quite as funny as Ethan Albright's letter to John Madden for rating him as the lowest player in Madden Football. But still pretty damned funny.

It’s also pretty wonderful that my awareness rating was 59. You make it sound like I wake up in the morning, helplessly #### and piss myself, then lose three of my teeth before I discover that I am trying to eat a rock for breakfast.

laughed myself to tears

The image of him playing catch with his son and missing him by 30 yards is classic. The kick return rating of 0 bit was just as funny.

 

[Ozymandias]

No way that's real. But it's freakin' funny.

He should win a prize for creative writing.

 

[Warpig]

And I’ve got the playmaking ability to shiv you in the kidney if you disrespect me again.

I crapped myself!

 

[WhoDat]

That is awesome.

 

[ookook]

Not quite as funny as Ethan Albright's letter to John Madden for rating him as the lowest player in Madden Football. But still pretty damned funny.

"Ahmed Carroll was rated a 78 and the Packers just cut his #### on a Tuesday morning after his performance in a Monday night game."

 

[TheFanatic]

I don't care that it's not real. It's flippin hilarious!!!!

 

[Steeler]

.

 

[GreedoShotFirst]

both were good, but Albright's is much better. Had me in tears in the office.

 

[Dirk Digler]

both were good, but Albright's is much better. Had me in tears in the office.

Me too. ROFLMAO.