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My gf just told me today her sister's bf is hitting her She won't tell anyone as they won't believe her (1 Viewer)

DJackson10

DJackson10

Footballguy
TLDR: GF's sister BF is hitting her but she won't do anything about it. We just started dating 4 months ago and I don't know her family yet. Livinging situation with me is I live with my Parents not much room and haven't told my mother about the relationship. My GF also makes up stuff sometimes to see how I react but I saw some bruises on her which leads me to believe its real and from how she's reacting.

The gist my Girlfriend lives with her grandparents who's son is my GF's father. He's in the NAVY and works in Guam. Her parents are seperanted with mom living in VA and her up here in PA with her sister. Her Grandparents are strict. We've only been dating 4 months only met her mother not here father and trying to at some point before he leaves in the new year. We both work together.

Anyway my GF hates her sister boyfriend already and her family knows this. Her mom texted her about 2 months ago to tell her stop being "mean" to her sister and her boyfriend who she called an *******. Recently my GF started complaining about stomach pain. Ok I thought she was maybe going through her time of the month normal. Then she tells me this week it hurts again and was complaining about her back. She told me she started a new diet which seemed believable and then told me the other day she had a bruise on her. She watches her cousins a lot and said her cousin was playing a bit rough. she complained on Wednesday about a hand cramp or something only for me to find out

Today she told me it wasn't her cousin but her sister's boyfriend has been hitting her for a few weeks now. I asked if she told her Grandparents she said no and asked about her father. She said no one will believe her because they all like him. I've never met the guy but from what she describe to me he's your typical early-mid 2O's guy who acts like he's from the hood type, Wife beater shirts etc. She won't even tell me a name of this guy and he lives in NJ. I'm remained calmed but firmly asked her why she hadn't said anything to me. I know she has trust issues and insecurity etc which I'm working with her on stuff. One thing she does is make up stories and situations to see how I'd react to her for some reason. She says I'm easy to get too but I think she wants to see a reaction. I didn't believe her at first but did see a few markings on her that looked like possible she was hit or something.

She told me she didn't say anything to me because it wasn't like I would do anything. I told her don't believe that, because even if this was some other girl I'd do something. I'd love to just walk to her house and wait for the guy with a baseball bat and have and "conversation" with the guy if he lays another finger on a strain of her hair he gets to meet the bat personally, but I know I can't just walk over there when her grandparents or Dad are there, and I have never met them. IT wouldn't be a good first impression.

If I already knew her family well enough I'd be going over there and having a conversation about what they were going to do about this. I've also thought about her living with me till she finds the place she's looking for but I live with my parents right now and only my dad knows about her. I wasn't gonna tell my mom till I at least met her dad. We don't have a lot of space but I think if my parents knew the situation they'd be more then willing to make accommodations possible. I told her next time he hits her to also just call the cops. Her sister's boyfriend is apparently there every night too. She told me today now you know why I want to leave here so bad. No one apparently believes her and now her sisters BF thinks its a good idea to beat on her. Tonight she was in so much pain back wise she barely wanted to talk on video. I know a few local cops who could possible help out but not sure at what length they'd go without her filing a report.

We dealt with an issue at work where my coworker a few years ago was beat by her then biker boyfriend. She hadn't told us after it happened to a few days later. Our department manager was furious with the guy and wanted to help. There's also 2 other guys there who voiced support from helping her to wanting to hunt the guy down etc. I told my GF the story and that she has support and back up at work if she needs it. My boss I know would come running to aid if he had too.

I'm at a loss of what I should do. On one side I'm just sad this is happening to her as she's a great sweet girl and I think her family takes advantage of her. At the same time I'm pissed and want to put this guy 6 FT under but know I can't do that either and my options overall right now are limited. She's also my first steady girlfriend as well.

TIA For any advice

PSA: The other issue was taken care of with the coworker. We set boundaries he follows and my department manager apparently had a chat with him about it as well.
 
STEADYMOBBIN 22 said:
You need to find another girlfriend. This one sounds like a lot of drama.
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Dude I'm starting to think this. Great girl but Jesus Christ. The minute I get home from work she wants to talk non stop because she has no friends outside of her cousins and I think it's mostly because of her grandparents. I'm not gonna do it over the holidays but her Dad goes back to GUAM till OCT start of the new year. If I don't meet him at least in person or by Video chat soon when he leaves I'm gonna tell her this relationship is ending if I can't meet your dad or even come over to your house. My one coworker who set us up and is starting to have second thoughts about it too I think. My coworker told me today she doesn't think I'll ever meet the grandparents or dad and she just wants someone to talk to at night and flirt at work with. I told her thats not really fair to me and she agreed.

But at the same time I ain't gonna dump her before christmas either. I think I'm gonna start setting deadlines. She also makes excuses whenever I try to take her out to dinner or a movie after like 6 or 7. I think there's family stuff going on she doesn't tell any of us about though. One of my theories though is my age and her thinking maybe dad and grandparents won't approve yet she tells me she told her dad about me already so you'd think he'd want to meet me. So something isn't right here.
 
DJackson10 said:
My GF also makes up stuff sometimes to see how I react but I saw some bruises on her which leads me to believe its real and from how she's reacting.
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This is a massive problem in a relationship because trust is both crucial and really fragile. I almost stopped reading once I got here. If you can't trust somebody to level with you, how do you know she's telling the truth?

Awful situation. I don't want to give bad advice or be wrong if he is indeed hitting her, but that took my breath away a bit. This is likely not somebody you want to be dating seriously with the future in mind.
 
Obviously, get out of this relationship.

On helping adults in abusive relationships.......

Here is what you can do......keep the lines of communication open, listen, be available, let them know you care, and will help if they ever really decide to get out. Pay for therapy if they'll go.

Here is what you can't do.......basically everything you instinctively want to to do. You can't save them. You can't "get them out". You can't go beat him up and make it all okay.
Every white horse thing you want to do will result in her going back to him and cutting off communication with you.

They are a mentally unwell adult that is addicted to the abuser/drama just as strong as a heroin addict is. They may never get out, and if they do, it will often be a long, long time from now. You have to get your head right, and be ready to deal with disappointment over and over again until they are really ready. And accept that they may never be.

Signed, old fart who's seen this with a little sister and many other females.
 
Last edited:
Wooderson said:
Depending on your age and her age I don’t think not meeting her dad after 4 months is that big of deal.

You say she talks a lot. Not during Eagles games right ?

Go Birds !!!
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Set those boundaries quickly there. I'm usually at work during games so she doesn't bother me at work and I usually just watch the games on my hone unless home. If she has a question about the game I'll answer it
 
pollardsvision said:
Obviously, get out of this relationship.

On helping adults in abusive relationships.......

Here is what you can do......keep the lines of communication open, listen, be available, let them know you care, and will help if they ever really decide to get out. Pay for therapy if they'll go.

Here is what you can't do.......basically everything you instinctively want to to do. You can't save them. You can't "get them out". You can't go beat him up and make it all okay.
Every white horse thing you want to do will result in her going back to him and cutting off communication with you.

They are a mentally unwell adult that is addicted to the abuser/drama just as strong as a heroin addict is. They may never get out, and if they do, it will often be a long, long time from now. You have to get your head right, and be ready to deal with disappointment over and over again until they are really ready. And accept that they may never be.

Signed, old fart who's seen this with a little sister and many other females.
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Just a refresher but this is her sister's boyfriend. I did tell her what do you think will happen if you don't say anything? She's mentioned her sister moving in with the BF at some point so I said even if he isn't hitting her what do you think will happen? He sees its fine hitting you and may start wailing on her once they have their own place. So trying to put things in perspective here
 
rockaction said:
This is a massive problem in a relationship because trust is both crucial and really fragile. I almost stopped reading once I got here. If you can't trust somebody to level with you, how do you know she's telling the truth?
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I'm pretty sure she is telling the truth here. I've gotten to the point I know when she's making stuff up. Just her voice and everything and I've seen some of the bruises too. These aren't "oh I hit my hip on the corner of the table." or "I dropped something on me" type looking ones. Legit look like there was solid impact from a person.

He came into her room last night as she doesn't have a lock and she messaged me so I ended up calling her right away. Fearing more abuse has happened even worse like sexually at this point. She tells me he hits her when they are alone. She's trying to stay out of the house as much as possible when he's around.
 
belljr said:
I'm catching up . .... Your GF is getting abused by her sisters BF?
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Exactly. If you say it out loud it sounds even crazier than just reading the words.

This stuff only happens to people like my cousins. Wait - maybe DJAx’s GF knows my cousins…..
 
Judge Smails said:
Just doesn’t add up to me. Haven’t heard too many cases of guys beating somebody else’s girlfriend. Not saying it’s impossible. But improbable for sure.
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Agreed. While it could be happening, it is very doubtful. DJax needs to get far away from this nutty girl and He needs to do it right now
 
Even though you're an Eagles fan, I'm gonna give you advice........run bro.

Now I've had a bit to drink tonight, but.......I say this with a bit of 2nd hand experience. My brother married a gal who has similarities to what you're talking about. She was a victim, until she wasn't...... Kids, horrible divorce. She is the devil, as far as I'm concerned.

Thing is, if theres this much drama now, it will only increase as the relationship gets more involved...I'll quote swc here....take that to the bank brohan
 
Ghost Rider said:
If you gotten to the point already where you know when she is making stuff up, that basically means you can tell when she is lying to you, which means she is lying to you often enough where you have figured out her tell. Run as fast as you can the other way.
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I think it mostly has to do with insecurity issues. Plus I'm the first real Boyfriend she's ever had. Her dad is in the NAVY so they moved a lot so never got a chance to make solid friendships growing up. Her grandparents are very old school. About 2 months ago I went on a walk with her and met her dog which was important for the 2 of us to like each other for her. Dog liked me. Went to the park etc. We took Dog back to her house as he was getting cold and went to the park and shot some hoops. She told me she had to be home by 3 to babysit so quarter of we packed up and left the park. I was with her for about 3 hours and she got yelled out by her grandparents for being out too long. She's 22 and her grandparents are yelling at her for being outside for 3 hrs?

Also she only seems to be allowed to only hang with her cousins most under 18 and always babysitting. She does love babysitting for her Aunt down the street and her husband as she gets 1K a month for it as they are pretty well off and she loves her little cousins there plus they got 2 dogs as well and she's a huge dog lover. However we both agree her family takes advantage of this and always have her babysitting. She has zero time to be out and making friends or having her own life so it's like she's sheltered from the world.

So I think it's more she doesn't know how to act in a relationship yet. I don't want to fault her for everything as I think her family is big problem here in general.
 
Judge Smails said:
Just doesn’t add up to me. Haven’t heard too many cases of guys beating somebody else’s girlfriend. Not saying it’s impossible. But improbable for sure.
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Yeah I mean I saw the bruises on her and like I said they don't look like "Oh I ran into something" or "I dropped something on my shin" or "jammed my finger". They look like pretty impactful like someone hit someone type. Not like with a belt but hand. She could also just be someone who bruises easily too. However like I said just her voice and how she talks about it I know she isn't lying. She's legit scared and worried. It does seem strange but I knew of a similar incident of his with someone I knew. Years ago while I was in my neighborhood before moving my Babysitter who was in HS and lived behind us had a friend of hers who's BF's was beating on her friends sister who was younger. I won't go into details but dad came home hearing his daughter screaming ran into his others daughter bedroom and found the BF's assaulting her. Dude almost got killed. BF came to the house apparently had a key and knew no one was there. This was back in the 9Os so a different time for this stuff too. Dude was D-bag but liked by the family didn't believe the girls sister because she had a problem with him day 1 so they thought she made stuff up. It's why I tend to believe my GF right now and just how she talks about it

I did ask her about her aunt and uncle who live down the street. When she babysits for them she does have her own room there. I asked her if she said anything to them yet as I know a few months ago she asked if she could move in with them and they told her no. However I asked if she told them what was happening would they change their mind and she thought they would.

Yesterday she got yelled at by her dad for even questioning why her sisters boyfriend was allowed over all the time. Its like the family protects him. I got zero info on the guy as we live in PA and he's from apparently NJ. I was gonna see if he was from around here maybe had a sibling, cousin etc I knew who knew him maybe ask a few genera questions about. Not do anything but see who this guy looks like just to be aware of him or if I see him in the store at all.
 
Manster said:
Even though you're an Eagles fan, I'm gonna give you advice........run bro.

Now I've had a bit to drink tonight, but.......I say this with a bit of 2nd hand experience. My brother married a gal who has similarities to what you're talking about. She was a victim, until she wasn't...... Kids, horrible divorce. She is the devil, as far as I'm concerned.

Thing is, if theres this much drama now, it will only increase as the relationship gets more involved...I'll quote swc here....take that to the bank brohan
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Sound advice and yeah thats where I'm worried about. Going further in this relationship and more involved. At the same time I feel I need to help her. I think it'd help if she just got away from most of her family period and tried to live her life without them controlling it. I'd love to see how she does when she doesn't have her family breathing down her neck every minute.
 
Cowboysfan8 said:
Judge Smails said:
Just doesn’t add up to me. Haven’t heard too many cases of guys beating somebody else’s girlfriend. Not saying it’s impossible. But improbable for sure.
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Yeah, I don’t get it.

@DJackson10 , he just walks in her room and hits her?
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I don't know.SHe won't go into detail which is what worries me and makes me feel like worse might be happening she won't tell me about. It's one reason I don' t want to leave her right now because if theres somewhere I can help here I'll find it and do it. I see her at work everyday so if something were too happened Id feel so guilty about it too. All I know is he seems sneaky about it does it when people aren't around. He walked into her room the other night don't think anything happened and when she told me he was in there I called her immediately as like a safety thing so if he did try something then he knew someone would find out. Minute he heard her on the phone with me he apparently ran out.
 
DJackson10 said:
Ghost Rider said:
If you gotten to the point already where you know when she is making stuff up, that basically means you can tell when she is lying to you, which means she is lying to you often enough where you have figured out her tell. Run as fast as you can the other way.
Click to expand...

I think it mostly has to do with insecurity issues. Plus I'm the first real Boyfriend she's ever had. Her dad is in the NAVY so they moved a lot so never got a chance to make solid friendships growing up. Her grandparents are very old school. About 2 months ago I went on a walk with her and met her dog which was important for the 2 of us to like each other for her. Dog liked me. Went to the park etc. We took Dog back to her house as he was getting cold and went to the park and shot some hoops. She told me she had to be home by 3 to babysit so quarter of we packed up and left the park. I was with her for about 3 hours and she got yelled out by her grandparents for being out too long. She's 22 and her grandparents are yelling at her for being outside for 3 hrs?

Also she only seems to be allowed to only hang with her cousins most under 18 and always babysitting. She does love babysitting for her Aunt down the street and her husband as she gets 1K a month for it as they are pretty well off and she loves her little cousins there plus they got 2 dogs as well and she's a huge dog lover. However we both agree her family takes advantage of this and always have her babysitting. She has zero time to be out and making friends or having her own life so it's like she's sheltered from the world.

So I think it's more she doesn't know how to act in a relationship yet. I don't want to fault her for everything as I think her family is big problem here in general.
Click to expand...
I hate to to break it to you, but her insecurities and family problems aren't going anywhere, so welcome to Drama 101 where you will constantly have a front seat for as long as you remain in this relationship.

Now, I get that you are likely emotionally invested already, and it is easy for anonymous nimrods on the internet like me and everyone else in this thread to yell RUN THE OTHER AWAY, but you are setting yourself up for major pain and misery on a regular basis if you continue to date this young lady.
 
i have done relationships with this type of girl. Seriously, just get out. its not worth the drama. Shes going to get you into some stuff you really dont need to be a part of.
 
Back in my day if someone hit my girlfriend.....he got his ______ beat by myself......but that is soooo 70's

Carry on
 
Chatgpt: Djackson10’s girlfriend was hit by her sisters boyfriend. He also doesn’t really trust her and she has been known to make up falsehoods. What should he do?

“It's understandable that you are concerned about your girlfriend and the situation she is in. It's important to approach this situation with care and consideration. Here are a few things you may want to consider:

  1. Encourage your girlfriend to seek medical attention: If your girlfriend has been physically harmed, it's important that she receives medical attention as soon as possible. Even if she is not seriously injured, it's important to document any injuries in case they are needed as evidence in the future.
  2. Talk to your girlfriend about the situation: It's important to listen to your girlfriend and try to understand her perspective on the situation. It may be helpful to ask her questions about what happened and how she is feeling.
  3. Consider seeking support from a trusted friend or family member: It can be helpful to talk to someone you trust about your concerns and get their perspective on the situation.
  4. Consider seeking help from a professional: If the situation is causing a lot of stress or if you are unsure of how to handle the situation, you may want to consider seeking help from a professional such as a therapist or counselor.
  5. Take care of yourself: It's important to take care of yourself and prioritize your own well-being. Make sure you are getting enough rest, eating well, and taking time for yourself to process and cope with the situation.
Ultimately, the most important thing is to be there for your girlfriend and support her during this difficult time. It may also be helpful to encourage her to seek help from a trusted adult or a professional if she is comfortable doing so.”
 
Bruh.

1. No offense with these frank comments, but you sound like a battered wife yourself at this point. Nothing is her fault? At all?

2. Unless you think she's going to divorce her family for you (hint, they never do), you need to consider their drama. You are in a relationship with them as well, whether you like it or not. Act with exactly that perspective. Deal their realities now or later, but know that you must at some point.

3. Confront the BF. Not physically, unless he goes there... But verbally and get his side of the story. Compare and contrast. Hopefully you get some clarity. I suspect you will be surprised by his take. If not, then at least you gather some very relevant and necessary info to act with accordingly. If you are scared to do so, that is understandable, but something needs to give here if you actually want progress toward resolution. Be brave. If you believe she is worthy of your dedication, then step up and face the demon at her doorstep, even if that demon is her.
 
And BTW, just to be a bit more real with you b/c I think you need to hear it, even if it sux major *** saying it...

IF he is actually hitting her, I think that increases the odds that there was or is an intimate relationship between them that you aren't aware of. Not 100%, but the odds increase dramatically. Once that line is crossed, then the others are as well, generally, with P's of S who raise their hands to women. So be prepped for that to come out if the rest of her story is actually true.

Sorry, dude. I wish I could give you more peaches and cream, but the deets of your tale aren't vibing well with me and if feel the best way to give you the help you are seeking is brutal honesty. Doesn't mean what I am suggesting is 100 spot on. Thinking in probabilities here, which I know you do very well.
 
Ghost Rider said:
DJackson10 said:
Ghost Rider said:
If you gotten to the point already where you know when she is making stuff up, that basically means you can tell when she is lying to you, which means she is lying to you often enough where you have figured out her tell. Run as fast as you can the other way.
Click to expand...

I think it mostly has to do with insecurity issues. Plus I'm the first real Boyfriend she's ever had. Her dad is in the NAVY so they moved a lot so never got a chance to make solid friendships growing up. Her grandparents are very old school. About 2 months ago I went on a walk with her and met her dog which was important for the 2 of us to like each other for her. Dog liked me. Went to the park etc. We took Dog back to her house as he was getting cold and went to the park and shot some hoops. She told me she had to be home by 3 to babysit so quarter of we packed up and left the park. I was with her for about 3 hours and she got yelled out by her grandparents for being out too long. She's 22 and her grandparents are yelling at her for being outside for 3 hrs?

Also she only seems to be allowed to only hang with her cousins most under 18 and always babysitting. She does love babysitting for her Aunt down the street and her husband as she gets 1K a month for it as they are pretty well off and she loves her little cousins there plus they got 2 dogs as well and she's a huge dog lover. However we both agree her family takes advantage of this and always have her babysitting. She has zero time to be out and making friends or having her own life so it's like she's sheltered from the world.

So I think it's more she doesn't know how to act in a relationship yet. I don't want to fault her for everything as I think her family is big problem here in general.
Click to expand...
I hate to to break it to you, but her insecurities and family problems aren't going anywhere, so welcome to Drama 101 where you will constantly have a front seat for as long as you remain in this relationship.

Now, I get that you are likely emotionally invested already, and it is easy for anonymous nimrods on the internet like me and everyone else in this thread to yell RUN THE OTHER AWAY, but you are setting yourself up for major pain and misery on a regular basis if you continue to date this young lady.
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My issue is she works with me in the same department so I got to figure out how to get out of it and not make it weird at work etc. If she was someone I didn't work with etc I'd have maybe already split and blocked any way of her contacting me again.
 
Wooderson said:
She’s 22. How old are you D Jack?
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34 one of my coworkers set us up. Sweet girl loves dogs similar to me, she's traveled a lot and some similar interest. Even this person now is kind of regretting setting us up and admitted "she didn't realize how crazy she was." She feels bad about it too.
 
PinkydaPimp said:
Chatgpt: Djackson10’s girlfriend was hit by her sisters boyfriend. He also doesn’t really trust her and she has been known to make up falsehoods. What should he do?

“It's understandable that you are concerned about your girlfriend and the situation she is in. It's important to approach this situation with care and consideration. Here are a few things you may want to consider:

  1. Encourage your girlfriend to seek medical attention: If your girlfriend has been physically harmed, it's important that she receives medical attention as soon as possible. Even if she is not seriously injured, it's important to document any injuries in case they are needed as evidence in the future.
  2. Talk to your girlfriend about the situation: It's important to listen to your girlfriend and try to understand her perspective on the situation. It may be helpful to ask her questions about what happened and how she is feeling.
  3. Consider seeking support from a trusted friend or family member: It can be helpful to talk to someone you trust about your concerns and get their perspective on the situation.
  4. Consider seeking help from a professional: If the situation is causing a lot of stress or if you are unsure of how to handle the situation, you may want to consider seeking help from a professional such as a therapist or counselor.
  5. Take care of yourself: It's important to take care of yourself and prioritize your own well-being. Make sure you are getting enough rest, eating well, and taking time for yourself to process and cope with the situation.
Ultimately, the most important thing is to be there for your girlfriend and support her during this difficult time. It may also be helpful to encourage her to seek help from a trusted adult or a professional if she is comfortable doing so.”
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1. She talked about going to the DR which I said was good but at the same time they'll ask how she got bruised and she'll need to be honest with them

2. I talked to her and the person who set us up. From her accusations he came in and tried to have sex with her in her room which she didn't allow and why she was hit. My coworker said those are some serious accusations but neither myself nor her can even prove this even happened

3. Like I just started talked to a trusted coworker. I got another coworker who I trust who's very good and watches out for me I haven't talked to yet.

4. I got a dr appointment with my actual DR in the coming weeks for yearly physically. I have some discuss to talk to her about this and other things going on with this.

5. Doing my best with work and all to keep care of myself. I asked her about her Uncle and Aunt who she has a room to stay in when she babysits a few blocks away from where she is now. She told them and they told her to tell them if it happens again.

Also she told me he hasn't done anything to her since her dad has been home which is why all of this stopped. I'm gonna keep my eye on this as her dad leaves the 3rd and see what happens.
 
LawFitz said:
IF he is actually hitting her, I think that increases the odds that there was or is an intimate relationship between them that you aren't aware of. Not 100%, but the odds increase dramatically. Once that line is crossed, then the others are as well, generally, with P's of S who raise their hands to women. So be prepped for that to come out if the rest of her story is actually true.
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Never thought about this. Not even sure how they could as her sister and her Boyfriend are constantly together unless something was going on while others were sleeping etc. Also she's never liked the guy so my other theory is this was more of a revenge thing by this guy for her talking **** on him for so long. Trust me she apparently doesn't hide her strong hate for him even when he's in ear shot.
 
FiredMartz said:
Back in my day if someone hit my girlfriend.....he got his ______ beat by myself......but that is soooo 70's

Carry on
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In the 9O's my Uncle who was in HS was abused by a Hockey coach. They sat in the dudes car when he drove my Uncle home from practice. My Dad who is his BIL and my mom's other brother went out to the garage and found the dude abusing my Uncle. They took my Uncle out of the car and slammed the door on this guys hand and beat the **** out of him. Coach went home and just he slipped on ice because had he filed a police report he'd have opened up a can of worms he didn't want to nd basically out himself. Coach sent in his resignation stating he couldn't perform his duties while rehabbing. Lord only knows if he did this to my uncle what other guys or girls he was abusing.
 
Anyone being abused or beaten need to be dealt with. A friend of mine married a lady he knew who was going through some crazy stuff. I just told him I will drive and be there if necessary. It never came to that as they got her back to our hometown and they got married.
 
Bluesbomber said:
Anyone being abused or beaten need to be dealt with. A friend of mine married a lady he knew who was going through some crazy stuff. I just told him I will drive and be there if necessary. It never came to that as they got her back to our hometown and they got married.
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Had a HS friend going through some crazy stuff Don't think she was crazy per say but had a lot of trauma I didn't know everything about. In College she'd tell me stories about having nightmares of guys r**ing her. I just listened and held her hand tried not to say anything. I was trying to help her a bit and then one day one of our best friends who moved to California do to marrying her Husband in the marines calls me. Tells me our friend died and committed suicide. It was really sad and I felt pretty hopeless and lost there for awhile. Never found out the real story that was going on.
 
DJackson10 said:
Schmeabs said:
Is there a reason you are living with your parents at age 34?
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Can't afford an apparent among other things ive discussed in other threads
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It's good to save your money. Some people may be judgmental but if you and your parents are comfortable there, I say stay as long as you can. Apparently we have a housing shortage yet think of all the empty nests. I'm trying to find a coop where I can nestle and receive food scraps. Let me know if you decide to leave yours.
 
DJackson10 said:
PinkydaPimp said:
Chatgpt: Djackson10’s girlfriend was hit by her sisters boyfriend. He also doesn’t really trust her and she has been known to make up falsehoods. What should he do?

“It's understandable that you are concerned about your girlfriend and the situation she is in. It's important to approach this situation with care and consideration. Here are a few things you may want to consider:

  1. Encourage your girlfriend to seek medical attention: If your girlfriend has been physically harmed, it's important that she receives medical attention as soon as possible. Even if she is not seriously injured, it's important to document any injuries in case they are needed as evidence in the future.
  2. Talk to your girlfriend about the situation: It's important to listen to your girlfriend and try to understand her perspective on the situation. It may be helpful to ask her questions about what happened and how she is feeling.
  3. Consider seeking support from a trusted friend or family member: It can be helpful to talk to someone you trust about your concerns and get their perspective on the situation.
  4. Consider seeking help from a professional: If the situation is causing a lot of stress or if you are unsure of how to handle the situation, you may want to consider seeking help from a professional such as a therapist or counselor.
  5. Take care of yourself: It's important to take care of yourself and prioritize your own well-being. Make sure you are getting enough rest, eating well, and taking time for yourself to process and cope with the situation.
Ultimately, the most important thing is to be there for your girlfriend and support her during this difficult time. It may also be helpful to encourage her to seek help from a trusted adult or a professional if she is comfortable doing so.”
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1. She talked about going to the DR which I said was good but at the same time they'll ask how she got bruised and she'll need to be honest with them

2. I talked to her and the person who set us up. From her accusations he came in and tried to have sex with her in her room which she didn't allow and why she was hit. My coworker said those are some serious accusations but neither myself nor her can even prove this even happened

3. Like I just started talked to a trusted coworker. I got another coworker who I trust who's very good and watches out for me I haven't talked to yet.

4. I got a dr appointment with my actual DR in the coming weeks for yearly physically. I have some discuss to talk to her about this and other things going on with this.

5. Doing my best with work and all to keep care of myself. I asked her about her Uncle and Aunt who she has a room to stay in when she babysits a few blocks away from where she is now. She told them and they told her to tell them if it happens again.

Also she told me he hasn't done anything to her since her dad has been home which is why all of this stopped. I'm gonna keep my eye on this as her dad leaves the 3rd and see what happens.
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Whoa! So she claims this guy tried to have sex with her and then beat her when she resisted? Has she messed around with him in the past? Have you had sex with her? Whatever the truth may be in her story, there is some sad drama following her around. It's unfortunate that people experience these problems but I don't think they are your problems..not yet anyway. Also, I'm not sure what kind of help your doctor would offer aside from an STD test. Most GPs I've seen haven't even been interested in hearing about my physical ailments, I can't imagine how they would react to a story like this.
 
DJackson10 said:
My issue is she works with me in the same department so I got to figure out how to get out of it and not make it weird at work etc.
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it's after Christmas now. End it.

it will be weird at work. be totally honest and kind and all business.

Except,from your other postings, i think you are into drama yourself, so maybe just carry on.
 
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