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My life after the passing of my wife - 9+ years later!!! (2 Viewers)

Glad to hear you're doing well and tests are good!. And it is exhausting when something is off and it takes more time to figure it out. I admire you. I'm not stage 4 yet but if I recur stage 4, I hope to be strong like you. Praying for a plan for next week. Meanwhile, happy valentine's day. May you feel all the love from us and from your loved ones! 🙏🏻❤Xxx
Thank you.  You’re not the first person to tell me I’m strong.  I had a very good role model to emulate in my wife as she went through her medical issues.  I don’t necessarily feel strong, I just see it as not having a choice but to do what I have to do.

Happy ❤️ Valentine’s Day to you as well.  Praying for all of us!!!

 
Thank you.  You’re not the first person to tell me I’m strong.  I had a very good role model to emulate in my wife as she went through her medical issues.  I don’t necessarily feel strong, I just see it as not having a choice but to do what I have to do.

Happy ❤️ Valentine’s Day to you as well.  Praying for all of us!!!
Exactly. I never felt strong when people found out I'm doing cancer alone even though people would say wow. If I thought my family would have a positive effect on me I would have involved them. But my parents are full on high anxieties that they'd be calling me twice a day for the rest of my life asking if it/it's still remission. I'd lose my mind. But the benefit of being able to do it all by myself is I'm able to help others, especially those who are alone too. That's where I get my self esteem is by helping others, whatever it is, without expecting anything back. 

I'm praying my dad will get the it is what it is and out of the feelings of despair. He has motor neuron disease, primarily lateral sclerosis. It's a non fatal type of ALS that progresses very slow. Only voluntary muscles are affected. I can't imagine. Randall146 here is my hero on how he's handling it. For one's mental sake, the it is what it is is best when you don't have control over things. What else are you going to do? Fight to the end no matter what the diagnosis is. Just know that while people may not say anything, you are a role model and you could be changing their state of mind for the better. ❤

 
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Ok so I heard back from the Ocologists office.  After oncology and Renal conferred, I’m back on the oral chemo pill.  Same dose.  I was off the chemo for a total of 4 days.  They also added in a diuretic.  I think the diuretic is to help flush the kidney.  

Renal moved my appointment up from May to early April.  I think if it was that concerning they would have wanted to see me immediately.  Maybe I’m just hoping.  🤷🏼‍♂️

 I repeat the 24 urine protein test next weekend prior to my next treatment on 3/6.  Overall I think it’s positive.  I’m feeling good about how I’m doing.

In other news, I have a brunch date tomorrow morning.  We connected on a dating app (Plenty of Fish).  We’ve chatted extensively all week.  She seems really nice and has been easy to talk with.  The conversation has been back and forth.  I’m really looking forward to this.

 
Ok so I heard back from the Ocologists office.  After oncology and Renal conferred, I’m back on the oral chemo pill.  Same dose.  I was off the chemo for a total of 4 days.  They also added in a diuretic.  I think the diuretic is to help flush the kidney.  

Renal moved my appointment up from May to early April.  I think if it was that concerning they would have wanted to see me immediately.  Maybe I’m just hoping.  🤷🏼‍♂️

 I repeat the 24 urine protein test next weekend prior to my next treatment on 3/6.  Overall I think it’s positive.  I’m feeling good about how I’m doing.

In other news, I have a brunch date tomorrow morning.  We connected on a dating app (Plenty of Fish).  We’ve chatted extensively all week.  She seems really nice and has been easy to talk with.  The conversation has been back and forth.  I’m really looking forward to this.
Awesome! So happy for you! And for sure if something is concerning they work you in. I was being scheduled for March 7 for the gastro. When I mentioned what was happening, magically this Mon opened. All medical offices either save a spot ot two for emergencies or double book. Where I worked we did the latter. Have fun at brunch tomorrow. You deserve it! Xxx

 
I thought it went very well.  She’s very nice. Intelligent. Soft spoken.  Attractive.  Conversation was good.  Talked about past relationships.  I’m actually very smitten.  A hug when we met and parted.  Unfortunately not a Colonel Jessup hug.  Lol

 
I thought it went very well.  She’s very nice. Intelligent. Soft spoken.  Attractive.  Conversation was good.  Talked about past relationships.  I’m actually very smitten.  A hug when we met and parted.  Unfortunately not a Colonel Jessup hug.  Lol
Awesome! Imo the mistake people make is they get too excited and things move too fast for the other person. I truly believe best friends make not only the best friendships but the best partners if that's what you're looking for.

 
Awesome! Imo the mistake people make is they get too excited and things move too fast for the other person. I truly believe best friends make not only the best friendships but the best partners if that's what you're looking for.
I think you’re correct.  But patience is tough for me.  Lol

 
Had a office visit with the Oncologist and a treatment today.  

They had the UPenn radiologists reread my latest CT and MRI scans (done at a non UPenn radiology center).  They compared the latest scans to my original scans, pre-surgery.  The lung modules were consistent.  No new nodules and they are all less than 5mm.  That’s a great indication the treatment is effective.  No other indications of spread into my abdomen/pelvis.

Urine protein issue is still there but we think we have it under control.  The levels in my last 24hr test were still elevated but significantly reduced from 3 weeks ago.  I follow up with Nephrology in early April.

The oncologist is very pleased with how effective treatment has been and how well I’m tolerating it.  We are staying the course with treatment.  Glad I started as soon as I did.  Still cognizant that the treatment isn’t curative and no idea what the future holds, but who really does.

Going to see an Endocrinologist about my type 2 diabetes.  My latest A1c was 5.8 but my glucose numbers have been a little wonky lately.  The diuretic I’m on has a side effect of raising blood sugar.  Also the immunotherapy drug I’m on can potentially  cause type 1 diabetes.  All that led me to decide to see the specialist to manage my type 2, instead of trying to do it myself.

Overall, I feel good.  Been consciously trying to eat better/less and been working in some cardio exercise.  Down 18 pounds since 1/1/20.

Still talking with the woman I had brunch with a couple of weeks ago.  We haven’t gone out again, yet, but we talk everyday.  Feeling optimistic, but cautious.  Doing my best to stay in the moment and just let it happen.

Thanks to everybody in the FFA for all of your continued support.

Much love.

Cheesey

 
Date #2 going down tonight.  She knows the readers digest version of my medical issues and hasn’t bailed.  All signs seem to be positive.  Trying to stay in the moment and not get ahead of myself.

 
Date #2 going down tonight.  She knows the readers digest version of my medical issues and hasn’t bailed.  All signs seem to be positive.  Trying to stay in the moment and not get ahead of myself.
Yes, must stay in the moment. Hard to do especially in the early stages of going out. Keep your mind on what a great friend she is. At the very least if she is, you don't want to lose that. Focus on friendship and possibly a great support person first. 

 
Went well.  Just dinner. Shared dessert.  Good conversation.  Still getting to know each other.  She’s definitely driving the pace but I’m ok with it.  I want to see where, if anywhere, this goes.  The more I talk to, and spend time with, her the more attractive she becomes.  I think she very pretty, but she’s also smart, funny, can laugh at herself, compassionate, thinks I’m handsome, etc, etc, etc.  lol. I’m quite smitten with her.

 
Went well.  Just dinner. Shared dessert.  Good conversation.  Still getting to know each other.  She’s definitely driving the pace but I’m ok with it.  I want to see where, if anywhere, this goes.  The more I talk to, and spend time with, her the more attractive she becomes.  I think she very pretty, but she’s also smart, funny, can laugh at herself, compassionate, thinks I’m handsome, etc, etc, etc.  lol. I’m quite smitten with her.
Slow roll. Let her drive this. Meanwhile continue enjoying the friendship!

 
One thing I'll say from my own experience, which isn't uncommon. A guy can be near a dream. But it becomes a turn off if the guy starts getting ahead of where she feels it is. There have been guys where I'd be told wow, you're lucky. But when they weren't getting they are going too fast and were too excited, like wanting to be exclusive too early on in the getting to know you phase, suddenly this good looking dude becomes ugly. Be yourself yes, but don't put the horse before the cart. Those dudes would take steps back but by that time I wasn't interested in trying again with him, not even as friends. So not knowing how she is I give you this caution until you reallllllllllly know her and her preferences. 

 
One thing I'll say from my own experience, which isn't uncommon. A guy can be near a dream. But it becomes a turn off if the guy starts getting ahead of where she feels it is. There have been guys where I'd be told wow, you're lucky. But when they weren't getting they are going too fast and were too excited, like wanting to be exclusive too early on in the getting to know you phase, suddenly this good looking dude becomes ugly. Be yourself yes, but don't put the horse before the cart. Those dudes would take steps back but by that time I wasn't interested in trying again with him, not even as friends. So not knowing how she is I give you this caution until you reallllllllllly know her and her preferences. 
Doing my best.  Definitely more open to letting evolve naturally than I’ve done previously.  Not easy for me.

 
Hope your doing well and staying extra safe. Xxx 🙏🏻
Just saw this.

Doing well.  Been working from home since St. Patricks Day (I think, the days all run together.  LOL).

Just finished up a run of 5 Drs appointments and an infusion in the past 9 days.

Oncology Nurse Practitioner says I'm doing great.  Tolerating the treatment very well.  The protein wasting issue in the urine has been reduced and seems like it's under control.  She is very pleased with my progress.

Follow up with Primary Care Dr..  She pleased with how I'm doing.  Don't see her again until October for a physical.

Retina Specialist for follow up on Diabetic Retinopathy.  The edema and lipid deposits my eyes have reduced significantly, or completely.  He was very happy.  Told me to keep doing whatever it is I'm doing because it's working!!!  Do not need to see him again, unless an issue arises.

Next up was the Nephrology for a follow up on the protein wasting in the urine issue.  The trend of the last 3 24 hour Urine tests have shown significant reduction in the protein levels in the urine.  She was very pleased.  We made an appointment for 6 months in case I need it, but she doesn't think it'll be necessary if things continue they way they are going.  This was my first Telemedicine video appointment.  Interesting but I'd rather be seen in person, at least under normal circumstances.

Today was my first appointment with my son's Endocrinology Nurse Practitioner.  This also was a telemedicine video appointment.  I set this up because I was uncomfortable with the upward trend of my morning fasting blood glucose.  Went from averaging between 115-125 in January to 140-150 recently, even though I have been generally eating better/less, losing weight and exercising.  Had my A1c checked prior to the appointment.  A1c was 5.5 in November, 5.8 in February and 5.9 in April.  I sent her almost a months worth of glucose readings as well.  She basically said that my glucose numbers were consistent with my A1c and was not really concerned.  She told me to keep doing what I'm doing (eating better/less, exercising, weight loss, etc.).  Overall, she settled my concerns and we agreed that I didn't need to follow up unless there was a specific concern or an issue arose.  

Overall, I feel really good.  The positive feed back from multiple medical professionals makes me feel even better.  I think I'm on a very good path.  I'm down over 22 pounds since January 1st.  Exercising almost daily (for at least 30 minutes of dedicated exercise) at this point.

Still talking to the woman that I had a couple of dates with.  We text daily through out the day including first thing in the morning and before bed.  Seems to be going well.  Not pushing, just letting it evolve, slowly, but I'm liking the direction it seems to be going.

Coronavirus free so far and hopefully it stays that way.  Staying in as much as possible.  Other than Doctors appointments/treatments and blood work the only place I go is the supermarket.

Again.  I want to thank you all for your continued support.

Luv this place and the people here.

Stay well,

Cheeseypoof

 
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I’m sure, just never really considered it.
First, great news! You had disappeared for awhile so I was hoping it wasn't bad news. For sure keep doing what you're doing.

I'd look into grocery delivery or even curbside pickup. I go in because I want to pick out my own produce. Today I went to a store that always has great quality produce. The lettuce, all types organic and not, were all dead. I mean nasty looking. I got lucky I found 1 that just needed some water to perk it up. I'd never hear the end of my guinea pig sending off her alarm when the time came for lettuce and I have none. I'm stocked on food otherwise. 

There are a lot people who love to help. Maybe your cancer center has links to people who want to help. Mine sent me an email asking if I want masks. They dropped it off on my doorstep. 

Stay safe, stay in. Chemo compromises your immune system as I'm sure you know. Not worth the risk. And keep up the great work! You have many cheerleaders here rooting for you! Xxx 🙏🏻

 
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Tomorrow (4/15) would have been my wife's 52nd birthday.  Still missed everyday.  You move forward but never get over the loss.  

😪💔
The best thing about my QuarantineBDay today was that I got to spend it alone with my wife for once. There was no cake, there were no balloons, there weren't really any presents but I got the gift of having her with me. 

I am so very sorry you have had to go thru this journey CP, there's nothing I can write that will make you feel much different. I'm positive you feel blessed to have had her in your life but she was also gifted with a terrific soul in her life as well. 

You're very kind to most anyone here and you're ability to share this heartbreaking story helps a lot of others cope with their issues and stories even if they choose not to share. 

Thanks CP

 
The best thing about my QuarantineBDay today was that I got to spend it alone with my wife for once. There was no cake, there were no balloons, there weren't really any presents but I got the gift of having her with me. 

I am so very sorry you have had to go thru this journey CP, there's nothing I can write that will make you feel much different. I'm positive you feel blessed to have had her in your life but she was also gifted with a terrific soul in her life as well. 

You're very kind to most anyone here and you're ability to share this heartbreaking story helps a lot of others cope with their issues and stories even if they choose not to share. 

Thanks CP
Thank you

 
Awe Cheesey, sorry such dates have to come back around every year. Celebrate her life, how lucky you are she was born, and remember her tomorrow with your son. Light a candle, do whatever special for her. She's looking down proud of how you are fighting to be here for your son with love. 🙏🏻❤ xxx

 
Oncologist appointment and treatment today.  Get the results of my most recent chest CT and abdomen/pelvis MRI today.

Always a stressful wait. 🤞🙏

 

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