Obscure Records That You Think You May Hold (1 Viewer)

[Anarchy99]

I was going over some crazy stories with someone tonight, and I have had 6 auto insurance claims where I wasn't even driving. Not sure if that's a record . . . but it's got to be up there.

1) Took car to get new brakes, mechanic hit by another motorist during road test.
2) Took car for an oil change, someone crashed into it before i could pick it up.
3) Giant tree limb fell on the car.
4) A wayward shopping cart got loose at the top of a hill and crashed into the car parked at the bottom.
5) A firetruck racing to a fire took too wide a turn and hit the car parked on the side of the street.
6) And the grand prize winner (wasn't driving and it wasn't even my vehicle), when living with my mother, she got hit crossing the street by a hit and run motorist, and as the only driver with insurance in the household, by law, the claim was filed against my policy. She was in the hospital for weeks, and even though I had nothing to do with it, my rates skyrocketed.

Anyone else with any "If they kept records on this, I might be the record holder" stories?

 

[Dwayne Hoover]

I thought this was going to be about vinyl

 

[JohnnyU]

Has anyone ever been bitten by a snapping turtle while standing in a creek using a chainsaw? I was helping build a bridge for my uncle. I bet I may be the only one on record using a chainsaw and getting bit by a snapping turtle.

 

[BassNBrew]

Has anyone ever been bitten by a snapping turtle while standing in a creek using a chainsaw? I was helping build a bridge for my uncle. I bet I may be the only one on record using a chainsaw and getting bit by a snapping turtle.

Do I dare ask what he bit.

 

[JohnnyU]

Has anyone ever been bitten by a snapping turtle while standing in a creek using a chainsaw? I was helping build a bridge for my uncle. I bet I may be the only one on record using a chainsaw and getting bit by a snapping turtle.

Do I dare ask what he bit.

My leg. I threw the chainsaw on the bank. Fortunately it let go under water. The last thing you want to do is attack it or tug it. They will still clamp on to you if you cut the head off. Afterwards I washed it good, put antiseptic on it, then covered it. Needless to say my work in the water was done for the day.

 

[Yambag]

I'm sure I'm not the only one but odd nonetheless... I once got hit by a car with no driver. The other car was parked parallel to the road, but left in neutral. Car rolled down a small hill, turned and sideswiped me just as I was driving by. Got out of the car and didn't see anyone at first, thought they were dead, looked inside and sure enough, no driver. Minutes later this guy comes down the hill and was like, uhhh sorry?

 

[ChiefD]

I am a master of Executing Non-Repeatable Events In One Try.

If you need someone, on the first try, to do anything I’m your man. For example:


Hit that log sticking out the water with this rock

Throw this dart and hit the bullsye

Hit that flying seagull with this fishing lure

Land this nerfball on top of an i-beam



You get the idea.

 

[JohnnyU]

I am a master of Executing Non-Repeatable Events In One Try.

If you need someone, on the first try, to do anything I’m your man. For example:


Hit that log sticking out the water with this rock

Throw this dart and hit the bullsye

Hit that flying seagull with this fishing lure

Land this nerfball on top of an i-beam



You get the idea.

I once threw a penny and it landed on a fence post. What are the odds of that?

 

[Zegras11]

I graduated twice from junior high with honors from different schools, in different years.

 

[JohnnyU]

When I was 18 and drinking on the way to my cousins graduation bondfire party, I backed off a mountain and was saved by a single tree in the area, from a thousand foot drop. Only the one tree was there. Otherwise a clearing on either side. My cousin was driving in a separate car. It happened backing onto a shoulder. I believe I passed the clearing of the shoulder as the reason why I backed up. Jeeps were popular in the late 70s and they were able to attach chains to the frame and pull me out without a scratch to my car. Then ironically after the party someone damaged my door leaving.

 

[El Floppo]

Has anyone ever been bitten by a snapping turtle while standing in a creek using a chainsaw? I was helping build a bridge for my uncle. I bet I may be the only one on record using a chainsaw and getting bit by a snapping turtle.

I mean... Who hasnt, really.

 

[BrutalPenguin]

I've had my tonsils out twice. They've since grown back a third time.

 

[fatness]

My cousins and I used to throw single M&M's about 10 feet in the air and circle around below them and try to catch them in our mouths. For the longest time our record was 19 in a row without a miss.

Then one day i caught 33 in a row with my cousin Jeff as my witness. Nobody ever beat that.

Unfortunately Jeff is dead now, but I would not lie about something this serious.

 

[JohnnyU]

My cousins and I used to throw single M&M's about 10 feet in the air and circle around below them and try to catch them in our mouths. For the longest time our record was 19 in a row without a miss.

Then one day i caught 33 in a row with my cousin Jeff as my witness. Nobody ever beat that.

Unfortunately Jeff is dead now, but I would not lie about something this serious.

right on man.

 

[Anarchy99]

I graduated twice from junior high with honors from different schools, in different years.

See, this is what I'm talking about. That's a great accomplishment for a 23/24 year old (if the years were consecutive).

 

[zamboni]

I graduated twice from junior high with honors from different schools, in different years.

Did the same.

Graduated junior HS after 8th grade in one school, started HS in 9th grade and moved out of state in middle of 9th. New school 9th grade was also last year of junior HS.

 

[FarFromHome]

When I was 18 and drinking on the way to my cousins graduation bondfire party, I backed off a mountain and was saved by a single tree in the area, from a thousand foot drop. Only the one tree was there. Otherwise a clearing on either side. My cousin was driving in a separate car. It happened backing onto a shoulder. I believe I passed the clearing of the shoulder as the reason why I backed up. Jeeps were popular in the late 70s and they were able to attach chains to the frame and pull me out without a scratch to my car. Then ironically after the party someone damaged my door leaving.

Damn

 

[FarFromHome]

My dad thought I was an irresponsible drunk and got fed up. He required me to retake high school and pass all the tests in 24 weeks or he would leave his business to someone else. Wait. Dammit. Thats the movie Billy Madison. Nevermind.

 

[fatness]

Number of wild animals you have collided with:
1
- a deer
I was jogging from our campsite through the woods while camping and a full-grown female deer decided to cross the path at the same place at the same time. Almost knocked me off my feet, and there we stood staring at each other, 3 feet apart and frozen in fear. Then we both fled.

Types of wild animals you have stepped on:
4
- box turtles -- quite a few times
- snakes -- quite a few times
- snapping turtle -- stepped on one in some rapids during the middle of a drought, thought it was a rock
- wild turkey -- stepped on one in some really tall (7') grass. Damn those things are big and loud

I'm sure someone can beat these numbers.

 

[JohnnyU]

When I was 18 and drinking on the way to my cousins graduation bondfire party, I backed off a mountain and was saved by a single tree in the area, from a thousand foot drop. Only the one tree was there. Otherwise a clearing on either side. My cousin was driving in a separate car. It happened backing onto a shoulder. I believe I passed the clearing of the shoulder as the reason why I backed up. Jeeps were popular in the late 70s and they were able to attach chains to the frame and pull me out without a scratch to my car. Then ironically after the party someone damaged my door leaving.

Damn

I don't take chances like I did 48 years ago. Plus, if we survive our youth, hopefully we learn a thing or two along the way. I figured if I had 9 lives I've used all of them and then some. I'm so careful these days that my wife sometimes tells me to speed up and that I drive like an old man. I tell her, I am an old man. I believe It was a different time in the 70s as far as partying teenager.

 

[Rattle and Hum]

I was born with a fairly rare, genetic colon disease. My plumbing has been altered. I'm pretty sure I hold the record for decibels and duration. As a teenager, my friends called me "Whaler" because I could fart like a whale. I'm very proud.

 

[Leroy Hoard]

Over the years I think I may have held quite a few obscure records. Unfortunately most of that rare vinyl has belonged to others.

 

[Harry Frogfish]

Has anyone ever been bitten by a snapping turtle while standing in a creek using a chainsaw? I was helping build a bridge for my uncle. I bet I may be the only one on record using a chainsaw and getting bit by a snapping turtle.

Do I dare ask what he bit.

My leg. I threw the chainsaw on the bank. Fortunately it let go under water. The last thing you want to do is attack it or tug it. They will still clamp on to you if you cut the head off. Afterwards I washed it good, put antiseptic on it, then covered it. Needless to say my work in the water was done for the day.

That's awesome! I've always wanted to get bit by a snapping turtle.

How big was he and how long did he latch on for? Did he get to keep any of your flesh?

 

[Leroy Hoard]

The snapping turtle. Most correctly named animal ever?

 

[JohnnyU]

Has anyone ever been bitten by a snapping turtle while standing in a creek using a chainsaw? I was helping build a bridge for my uncle. I bet I may be the only one on record using a chainsaw and getting bit by a snapping turtle.

Do I dare ask what he bit.

My leg. I threw the chainsaw on the bank. Fortunately it let go under water. The last thing you want to do is attack it or tug it. They will still clamp on to you if you cut the head off. Afterwards I washed it good, put antiseptic on it, then covered it. Needless to say my work in the water was done for the day.

That's awesome! I've always wanted to get bit by a snapping turtle.

How big was he and how long did he latch on for? Did he get to keep any of your flesh?

He was big enough that I knew what it was. I was lucky he let go fairly quickly. It was a nasty bite that tore the skin pretty good if memory serves.

 

[Harry Frogfish]

Has anyone ever been bitten by a snapping turtle while standing in a creek using a chainsaw? I was helping build a bridge for my uncle. I bet I may be the only one on record using a chainsaw and getting bit by a snapping turtle.

Do I dare ask what he bit.

My leg. I threw the chainsaw on the bank. Fortunately it let go under water. The last thing you want to do is attack it or tug it. They will still clamp on to you if you cut the head off. Afterwards I washed it good, put antiseptic on it, then covered it. Needless to say my work in the water was done for the day.

That's awesome! I've always wanted to get bit by a snapping turtle.

How big was he and how long did he latch on for? Did he get to keep any of your flesh?

He was big enough that I knew what it was. I was lucky he let go fairly quickly. It was a nasty bite that tore the skin pretty good if memory serves.

Damn.

Did he at least come away with something? What made him give up if he didn't get any meat out of it? I mean the decision had been made and he had a hold.

Instead of a meal, could he have attacked you as a perceived mating threat? Wait, are you the guy that went to Maryland?

 

[JohnnyU]

Has anyone ever been bitten by a snapping turtle while standing in a creek using a chainsaw? I was helping build a bridge for my uncle. I bet I may be the only one on record using a chainsaw and getting bit by a snapping turtle.

Do I dare ask what he bit.

My leg. I threw the chainsaw on the bank. Fortunately it let go under water. The last thing you want to do is attack it or tug it. They will still clamp on to you if you cut the head off. Afterwards I washed it good, put antiseptic on it, then covered it. Needless to say my work in the water was done for the day.

That's awesome! I've always wanted to get bit by a snapping turtle.

How big was he and how long did he latch on for? Did he get to keep any of your flesh?

He was big enough that I knew what it was. I was lucky he let go fairly quickly. It was a nasty bite that tore the skin pretty good if memory serves.

Damn.

Did he at least come away with something? What made him give up if he didn't get any meat out of it? I mean the decision had been made and he had a hold.

Instead of a meal, could he have attacked you as a perceived mating threat? Wait, are you the guy that went to Maryland?

I don’t know about all of that. All I know is I was using a chainsaw, then I wasn’t.

 

[Harry Frogfish]

Has anyone ever been bitten by a snapping turtle while standing in a creek using a chainsaw? I was helping build a bridge for my uncle. I bet I may be the only one on record using a chainsaw and getting bit by a snapping turtle.

Do I dare ask what he bit.

My leg. I threw the chainsaw on the bank. Fortunately it let go under water. The last thing you want to do is attack it or tug it. They will still clamp on to you if you cut the head off. Afterwards I washed it good, put antiseptic on it, then covered it. Needless to say my work in the water was done for the day.

That's awesome! I've always wanted to get bit by a snapping turtle.

How big was he and how long did he latch on for? Did he get to keep any of your flesh?

He was big enough that I knew what it was. I was lucky he let go fairly quickly. It was a nasty bite that tore the skin pretty good if memory serves.

Damn.

Did he at least come away with something? What made him give up if he didn't get any meat out of it? I mean the decision had been made and he had a hold.

Instead of a meal, could he have attacked you as a perceived mating threat? Wait, are you the guy that went to Maryland?

I don’t know about all of that. All I know is I was using a chainsaw, then I wasn’t.

Did you piss or crap a little by chance?

 

[JohnnyU]

Has anyone ever been bitten by a snapping turtle while standing in a creek using a chainsaw? I was helping build a bridge for my uncle. I bet I may be the only one on record using a chainsaw and getting bit by a snapping turtle.

Do I dare ask what he bit.

My leg. I threw the chainsaw on the bank. Fortunately it let go under water. The last thing you want to do is attack it or tug it. They will still clamp on to you if you cut the head off. Afterwards I washed it good, put antiseptic on it, then covered it. Needless to say my work in the water was done for the day.

That's awesome! I've always wanted to get bit by a snapping turtle.

How big was he and how long did he latch on for? Did he get to keep any of your flesh?

He was big enough that I knew what it was. I was lucky he let go fairly quickly. It was a nasty bite that tore the skin pretty good if memory serves.

Damn.

Did he at least come away with something? What made him give up if he didn't get any meat out of it? I mean the decision had been made and he had a hold.

Instead of a meal, could he have attacked you as a perceived mating threat? Wait, are you the guy that went to Maryland?

I don’t know about all of that. All I know is I was using a chainsaw, then I wasn’t.

Did you piss or crap a little by chance?

No, it was a blurr. I couldn’t get out of the creek fast enough. I ran into my uncle’s house. Thankfully not with anything still attached that didn’t belong.

 

[Ron Swanson]

I once ate the most cans of tuna and swedish fish simultaneously in a movie theater. Until some punk tattled and I got thrown out. Didn't even get to finish my water.

 

[JohnnyU]

I once ate the most cans of tuna and swedish fish simultaneously in a movie theater. Until some punk tattled and I got thrown out. Didn't even get to finish my water.

I would find out who tattled and have a fish wrapped in newspapers delivered to his home.

 

[zamboni]

I once ate the most cans of tuna and swedish fish simultaneously in a movie theater. Until some punk tattled and I got thrown out. Didn't even get to finish my water.

Sorry, Charlie

 

[STEADYMOBBIN 22]

I am a master of Executing Non-Repeatable Events In One Try.

If you need someone, on the first try, to do anything I’m your man. For example:


Hit that log sticking out the water with this rock

Throw this dart and hit the bullsye

Hit that flying seagull with this fishing lure

Land this nerfball on top of an i-beam



You get the idea.

I’ve got a little of this mojo too. Did it recently at a party- those little hoops on a string where you release it and it swings and catches on the hook.everyone was saying how hard it was I nonchalantly walked up to it, BAM!, first try.

Fortunately/unfortunately my wife was the only witness.

 

[STEADYMOBBIN 22]

Recently XBOx release a bunch of Atari and similar era games that you can compete against others online.

You are reading the words of the worlds 10th ranked decathlon record holder!

 

[brun]

Pretty sure I'm the only one who has required stitches, just above my left eye, because, while waiting for my turn to bat playing baseball in a school playground, I was struck by a #6 billiard ball that was thrown by some kid and ricocheted off a seesaw.

Gotta be some kind of record.

 

[Chemical X]

i ate 5 mcribs in under 2 minutes in HS. also, after drinking, we used to pull the triple; i ate 2 frozen 7/11 bean burritos, then 20 white castles and then 12 jack’s tacos on one drive down northern blvd.

by rough count i have possibly had close to 100 cortisone shots.

 

[msudaisy26]

When I was in college there was a bar called Rick's that would give you a free drink for every rejection letter from a grad school. My senior year I got 12 rejection letters before lucky number 13 accepted me to med school.

Then three weeks before I was supposed to start at Wayne State I changed my mind and went into education.

 

[STEADYMOBBIN 22]

I can eat fistfulls of gummies and they have little to no effect.

 

[JohnnyU]

I can eat fistfulls of gummies and they have little to no effect.

You need to change where you're buying them.

 

[STEADYMOBBIN 22]

I can eat fistfulls of gummies and they have little to no effect.

You need to change where you're buying them.

Doesnt matter. My body doesnt break down the THC in edible form or something. Sucks because I would much rather not smell like weed.

 

[beer 30]

I can eat fistfulls of gummies and they have little to no effect.

You need to change where you're buying them.

You need to try Haribo Sugar Free Gummy Bears #IYKYK

 

[JohnnyU]

I can eat fistfulls of gummies and they have little to no effect.

You need to change where you're buying them.

You need to try Haribo Sugar Free Gummy Bears #IYKYK

I don't partake in any of that stuff, but thanks.

 

[Gally]

I've had my tonsils out twice. They've since grown back a third time.

You must be a super hero with regenerative powers. Cut off something else and see if grows back to confirm.

 

[Gally]

Pretty sure I'm the only one who has required stitches, just above my left eye, because, while waiting for my turn to bat playing baseball in a school playground, I was struck by a #6 billiard ball that was thrown by some kid and ricocheted off a seesaw.

Gotta be some kind of record.

I had the same thing happen but it was an 11 ball.


(just kidding)

 

[Gally]

I can eat fistfulls of gummies and they have little to no effect.

Are they Haribo Gold Bears? I can crush those too

 

[Gally]

I can eat fistfulls of gummies and they have little to no effect.

You need to change where you're buying them.

You need to try Haribo Sugar Free Gummy Bears #IYKYK

Dammit.....beat me to it

 

[Harry Frogfish]

If that snapping turtle would've got your butt. instead of your scrotum, would it have hurt that much and would you have let him just run with it?

 

[JohnnyU]

If that snapping turtle would've got your butt. instead of your scrotum, would it have hurt that much and would you have let him just run with it?

The key is if it holds on to you or lets go, but I would imagine if a snapping turtle had your scrotum you would now be a soprano. By the way, if it it's underwater, the chances it lets go increases, I just googled it, but not guaranteed. I don't know what makes one of these hold on or let go. Interesting thought however. They aren't agressive unless they feel threatened, but their bite tears the skin pretty good.

 

[Deepster]

In my early 20's, my girlfriend at the time and I stayed home for New Year's Eve. I came up with idea that I wanted to be the first American to ummmm "finish" in the new year. Amazingly, she was on board. We....uhhhh, prepped and warmed up as best as we could waiting for the literal and figurative ball to drop.

I rang in the new year (I think it was 1991) at 12:00:03. To the best of my knowledge, I was the first person that year and possibly the all time record holder (unless you know someone else who's done better than that).

 

[Gally]

I rang in the new year (I think it was 1991) at 12:00:03. To the best of my knowledge, I was the first person that year and possibly the all time record holder (unless you know someone else who's done better than that).

Probably depends what time zone you are in. Gotta hit it at the international date line and really be the first person in the new year.

On a related note.......... I always thought it would be awesome to have twins and have one be on Dec 31 and one be on Jan 1st. Twins born in different years.