Office Farewell Emails - Whatcha Got? (1 Viewer)

[mquinnjr]

You know the emails, someone is leaving the office/company, and sends out a farewell email. I just got one today that ended with the following below the contact info:

“Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened.”

at the shtick potential, personally/professionally with not just the above quote, but quotes in general. This is innovation.

Whatcha got?

 

[Jaysus]

"I'm the one who has been pooping in the coffee pot"

 

[butcher boy]

At a previous job someone sent one out pretty much calling out the PM as a mysoginistic and homophobic ####### using exactly those words. The only way to describe that week at work is

 

[AhrnCityPahnder]

what a talented and intelligent group of people.

Learned so much.

miss you all.

Find me on linked in.

Sad to leave, excited for the future.

blah blah blah. I'm just going to send a KONICHIWA, #####ES when I leave

 

[Workhorse]

I will not say good bye but a “see you later”.

Blech.

 

[mquinnjr]

I will not say good bye but a “see you later”.

Blech.

:X

 

[beer 30]

Typically it's tough to type while cuffed as your former employer tries to desperately rip the laptop/tablet from your hands as you attempt to type FORMAT C: but my go to is usually:

"I drew numbers last night and you'll be happy to know if you are receiving this email you will not be targeted...intentionally"

 

[guru_007]

Nufced

 

[Guest]

Typically it's tough to type while cuffed as your former employer tries to desperately rip the laptop/tablet from your hands as you attempt to type FORMAT C: but my go to is usually:

"I drew numbers last night and you'll be happy to know if you are receiving this email you will not be targeted...intentionally"

For a while I had a doomsday boot CD that would automatically do a secure wipe of the HD on boot.

"I've slept with all of your wives."

 

[shadyridr]

This one guy I work with apparently made it a point NOT to say goodbye to anyone. We found out after he left he pretty much hated everyone. Another team member of ours asked him if he wanted to goto lunch every day his last week and he was rejected every time

 

[Fennis]

You know the emails, someone is leaving the office/company, and sends out a farewell email. I just got one today that ended with the following below the contact info:

“Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened.”

at the shtick potential, personally/professionally with not just the above quote, but quotes in general. This is innovation.

Whatcha got?

Not goodbye email related, but I work with people who have all kinds of stupid quotes in their signature lines.

 

[jamny]

Not the same thing but funny story:

We had a one man production department in an AV company I worked for. After he left we needed to get in his computer but it was password protected. It didn't take long to figure out the password, maybe 3 tries. The bosses name was Chuck, the password was ####chuck

 

[mquinnjr]

You know the emails, someone is leaving the office/company, and sends out a farewell email. I just got one today that ended with the following below the contact info:

“Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened.”

at the shtick potential, personally/professionally with not just the above quote, but quotes in general. This is innovation.

Whatcha got?

Not goodbye email related, but I work with people who have all kinds of stupid quotes in their signature lines.

My first thought was, reply all with the quote in bold, "...you mean coitus?"

 

[Sarnoff]

I leave with some reluctance and some sadness, and the hope that my next opportunity - as big as it is for me - will be half as much fun and fulfilling as this has been.

I also leave with one unanswered question ... why do so many people come from other floors to poop in our bathrooms?

 

[ClownCausedChaos2]

I wait for the e-mail that says to consider the environment before you print it. Then I wallpaper my cube in thos sonsa#####es.

 

[Rayderr]

I typically include "So long and thanks for all the fish."

 

[IvanKaramazov]

You know the emails, someone is leaving the office/company, and sends out a farewell email. I just got one today that ended with the following below the contact info:

“Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened.”

at the shtick potential, personally/professionally with not just the above quote, but quotes in general. This is innovation.

Whatcha got?

That quote is horrible.

 

[17seconds]

Love the people who resign and then say crap like "I KNOW you all will succeed and this company has a bright future"

so why did you leave?

One guy wrote a ####### poem in his farewell email, complete with coworkers as characters in the story. Wish I could post it but it was a couple years back and I've cleaned out my inbox since.

 

[Ray Karpis]

[SIZE=12pt]From a departing co-worker last year.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=12pt]"I am only doing what I truly believe is best for my family, and I hope that everyone can understand that, and in time, not think of me as that son-of-a-##### who used to be in the office next to Neal."[/SIZE]

 

[bushdocda]

Subject: Thank You All for an Enriching Experience

Wealth is measured in a number of ways; wealth of knowledge, wealth of power and the all time favorite for the vast majority: material wealth. However, no form of wealth is possible without that quintessential resource whose actions make all forms of abundance manifest; the human resource. Through out my travels in other countries and other companies the one constant that truly shapes the experience are the people you encounter. No matter how panoramic the coastline, delectable the cuisine, or good the salary and benefits package; the depth and richness of the people in these environments can greatly enhance these transient mundane comforts or cause them to become a little less enticing and fulfilling.

I can certainly say that ---- possesses tremendous wealth in the people that it employs. In the process of my technical metal being forged in the fire of the ----- experience I can say without ego that I have been greatly enriched. The constant praise delivered by the corporate and field employees for simply doing my job has been intoxicatingly inspiring. The appreciate shown by all with whom I have dealt served as an ever present incentive to deliver faster and more efficient solutions to the problems you all have presented. The need to please those who were so pleased with me consistently provided that impetus to grow and become even better.

And for this I express a heart felt thank you to the ------ family and in particular to those who personally expressed their gratitude for my efforts in email, phone calls and fact to face. You all we certainly be missed but never forgotten.

 

[fightingillini]

I like it when people tell in their email......."let's keep in touch"

Because it usually never happens. In many cases, I don't want it happen....I am glad to see that person go.

All I know is......I have never left a farewell email at the companies that I have left. I feel it's way too impersonal and lazy. I always take the last few days, and make my rounds and thank/say goodbye to people in person.

Now it is OK to send your contact info via email, but I only send it to people that I want to keep in touch with.

 

[bostonfred]

Bob, you're underpaid. I dont mean youre good at your job, i mean i saw the salaries and you did the worst job negotiating of anyone, by far. Carol, nobody takes you seriously because you have a bumper sticker that says you'd rather be dancing. Todd, relax. You walk like you #### yourself, and nothing you do is important enough for you to walk that fast all the time. dana, nothing about working with you was a pleasure, but please do something about your breath. Kim, did you know that its possible to talk at a normal volume into a telephone and still be heard by people on the other end? Because if you did know that, then you're just an #######. Tim, you're cool. Sorry to leave you with these people. Janet, when you forward this to hr they're just going to tell you that there's nothing they can do because I've already quit, you dirty snitch. Oops, the i key on my keyboird isn't working ill of I sudden. In conclusion, #### all of you, and don't try to add me on linkedin because my number one criteria in a new job is not working with any of you ever again.

 

[mquinnjr]

I like it when people tell in their email......."let's keep in touch"

Because it usually never happens. In many cases, I don't want it happen....I am glad to see that person go.

All I know is......I have never left a farewell email at the companies that I have left. I feel it's way too impersonal and lazy. I always take the last few days, and make my rounds and thank/say goodbye to people in person.

Now it is OK to send your contact info via email, but I only send it to people that I want to keep in touch with.

I always interpret that as, "Call me if you want a life preserver from this place, and I'll take the referral bonus."

 

[17seconds]

Subject: Thank You All for an Enriching Experience

Wealth is measured in a number of ways; wealth of knowledge, wealth of power and the all time favorite for the vast majority: material wealth. However, no form of wealth is possible without that quintessential resource whose actions make all forms of abundance manifest; the human resource. Through out my travels in other countries and other companies the one constant that truly shapes the experience are the people you encounter. No matter how panoramic the coastline, delectable the cuisine, or good the salary and benefits package; the depth and richness of the people in these environments can greatly enhance these transient mundane comforts or cause them to become a little less enticing and fulfilling.

I can certainly say that ---- possesses tremendous wealth in the people that it employs. In the process of my technical metal being forged in the fire of the ----- experience I can say without ego that I have been greatly enriched. The constant praise delivered by the corporate and field employees for simply doing my job has been intoxicatingly inspiring. The appreciate shown by all with whom I have dealt served as an ever present incentive to deliver faster and more efficient solutions to the problems you all have presented. The need to please those who were so pleased with me consistently provided that impetus to grow and become even better.

And for this I express a heart felt thank you to the ------ family and in particular to those who personally expressed their gratitude for my efforts in email, phone calls and fact to face. You all we certainly be missed but never forgotten.

is this a farewell or a junior high writing assignment? jesus

 

[17seconds]

Bob, you're underpaid. I dont mean youre good at your job, i mean i saw the salaries and you did the worst job negotiating of anyone, by far. Carol, nobody takes you seriously because you have a bumper sticker that says you'd rather be dancing. Todd, relax. You walk like you #### yourself, and nothing you do is important enough for you to walk that fast all the time. dana, nothing about working with you was a pleasure, but please do something about your breath. Kim, did you know that its possible to talk at a normal volume into a telephone and still be heard by people on the other end? Because if you did know that, then you're just an #######. Tim, you're cool. Sorry to leave you with these people. Janet, when you forward this to hr they're just going to tell you that there's nothing they can do because I've already quit, you dirty snitch. Oops, the i key on my keyboird isn't working ill of I sudden. In conclusion, #### all of you, and don't try to add me on linkedin because my number one criteria in a new job is not working with any of you ever again.

mass office murder happened the next day?

 

[Parrothead]

so long ####ers.. by the way, I licked 3 mouses on my way out.. are you one of the lucky ones? ta ta

 

[shadyridr]

mouses?

 

[Jaysus]

"your pen was in my ###"

 

[Rayderr]

Love the people who resign and then say crap like "I KNOW you all will succeed and this company has a bright future"

so why did you leave?

Hence my "So long and thanks for all the fish." As that was the last thing the dolphins said to the humans before they left earth which was subsequently destroyed killing all remaining life on the planet. On the surface, the quote just seems like a funny thing a geek would say. Looking into the context, I'm saying "You're all doomed." And sure enough 2 companies I've worked for are out of business, and 2 others lost the contracts I was on when it went back up for bids.

 

[Aerial Assault]

Well . . . bye

 

[bentley]

I leave with some reluctance and some sadness, and the hope that my next opportunity - as big as it is for me - will be half as much fun and fulfilling as this has been.

I also leave with one unanswered question ... why do so many people come from other floors to poop in our bathrooms?

That last question may be the only thing in my note. Down with the poopetrators from the other floors!

 

[RUSF18]

Black dot for Monday. Last year, a woman went out with a hail of gunfire, claiming racism, sexism, etc against my government agency. Thought it was a joke at first. Didn't know her unfortunately, she sent it system wide.

 

[Abraham]

I left a job in college I absolutely loved working as a Promotions guy at a set of radio stations in Austin. Rubbed elbows with some minos celebs, tons of free booze and movie tickets and concert tickets. Paid great, lots of girls, etc. Anyway, right before Christmas my girlfriend broke up with me and I just needed a break. So I wrote a long two page letter to my boss and handed it to her and felt so nervous while she read it.

"So the 20th is your last day? Ok." :getsupandheadstomeeting:

Last time I ever did anything other than say, "My last day is X. Good luck to you all."

 

[17seconds]

Love the people who resign and then say crap like "I KNOW you all will succeed and this company has a bright future"

so why did you leave?

Hence my "So long and thanks for all the fish." As that was the last thing the dolphins said to the humans before they left earth which was subsequently destroyed killing all remaining life on the planet. On the surface, the quote just seems like a funny thing a geek would say. Looking into the context, I'm saying "You're all doomed." And sure enough 2 companies I've worked for are out of business, and 2 others lost the contracts I was on when it went back up for bids.

I've seen that quote at least twice in farewell emails. Thanks for the description

 

[Glass Joe]

This was sent to our entire department, with a subject "(ex-manager): you are an evil man"

(ex-manager), you are an evil man with zero morals and should not gain any respect from your peers and/or subordinates. Your deceitful ways will be uncovered and reveled. You lie about things, you hide behind doors with a fake smile and commentary, waiting to strike at the next employee that dares to stand up to the disgusting human being that you are.

I have zero respect for you and the evil heart you have. Your day will come when you have to answer for the wrong you have done in this company and I pray that you possess the dignity and can stand up to it and own up to it.

Even as the coward you are, you leave the phone call with myself and the HR rep without allowing time for me to ask you anything. Nor validate anything; which further validates the mentality you possess.

Counting another employee, you think your firing streak at 2-0 is what you can lay your head on at night. Great for you sir! Applause is due for you, I guess.

I knew this day would come. Never will you break my spirit! The pain you have caused me over the last two months will not be left in the shadows, but brought to light.

I encourage any employee to do the same that I have done. Standup against (ex-manager) who feels he can swing his managerial sword in the direction he so feels, and continue to harass them while doing so.

Your level of harassment against me as an employee is an injustice to all employees, and I for one have let that linger for too long.

Your tricks have not fooled me. And you vindictive nature will soon catch up to you.

Dont think of this as your victory Mr. (ex-manager); Just a sad day for you.

 

[Abraham]

Awesome.

 

[bentley]

I'm really in the mood to fire somebody all of the sudden.

 

[fruity pebbles]

This was sent to our entire department, with a subject "(ex-manager): you are an evil man"

(ex-manager), you are an evil man with zero morals and should not gain any respect from your peers and/or subordinates. Your deceitful ways will be uncovered and reveled. You lie about things, you hide behind doors with a fake smile and commentary, waiting to strike at the next employee that dares to stand up to the disgusting human being that you are.

I have zero respect for you and the evil heart you have. Your day will come when you have to answer for the wrong you have done in this company and I pray that you possess the dignity and can stand up to it and own up to it.

Even as the coward you are, you leave the phone call with myself and the HR rep without allowing time for me to ask you anything. Nor validate anything; which further validates the mentality you possess.

Counting another employee, you think your firing streak at 2-0 is what you can lay your head on at night. Great for you sir! Applause is due for you, I guess.

I knew this day would come. Never will you break my spirit! The pain you have caused me over the last two months will not be left in the shadows, but brought to light.

I encourage any employee to do the same that I have done. Standup against (ex-manager) who feels he can swing his managerial sword in the direction he so feels, and continue to harass them while doing so.

Your level of harassment against me as an employee is an injustice to all employees, and I for one have let that linger for too long.

Your tricks have not fooled me. And you vindictive nature will soon catch up to you.

Dont think of this as your victory Mr. (ex-manager); Just a sad day for you.

lol. just punch him in the nose on the way out

 

[Fennis]

I left a job in college I absolutely loved working as a Promotions guy at a set of radio stations in Austin. Rubbed elbows with some minos celebs, tons of free booze and movie tickets and concert tickets. Paid great, lots of girls, etc. Anyway, right before Christmas my girlfriend broke up with me and I just needed a break. So I wrote a long two page letter to my boss and handed it to her and felt so nervous while she read it.

"So the 20th is your last day? Ok." :getsupandheadstomeeting:

Last time I ever did anything other than say, "My last day is X. Good luck to you all."

the goodbye email typically comes on the persons last day.

 

[Fennis]

I'm really in the mood to fire somebody all of the sudden.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oMOESsm3Q4Y

 

[Maik Jeaunz]

I left a job in college I absolutely loved working as a Promotions guy at a set of radio stations in Austin. Rubbed elbows with some minos celebs, tons of free booze and movie tickets and concert tickets. Paid great, lots of girls, etc. Anyway, right before Christmas my girlfriend broke up with me and I just needed a break. So I wrote a long two page letter to my boss and handed it to her and felt so nervous while she read it.

"So the 20th is your last day? Ok." :getsupandheadstomeeting:

Last time I ever did anything other than say, "My last day is X. Good luck to you all."

wait, your GF broke up with you and then you quit the station? speaking from experience, working at a radio station as a single man is a golden ticket to lots of easy scores. GB groupies.

 

[17seconds]

This was sent to our entire department, with a subject "(ex-manager): you are an evil man"

(ex-manager), you are an evil man with zero morals and should not gain any respect from your peers and/or subordinates. Your deceitful ways will be uncovered and reveled. [...]

ex-manager should have replied to all:

Thanks for the note, I will continue to revel in my ways

 

[RUSF18]

Black dot for Monday. Last year, a woman went out with a hail of gunfire, claiming racism, sexism, etc against my government agency. Thought it was a joke at first. Didn't know her unfortunately, she sent it system wide.

Forgot about this until getting another goodbye email a few minutes ago. I was way off on the time frame, this goes back to August 2011...

----

After almost 39 years of Federal Service, I will retire on September 2. I cannot say that I have enjoyed working at XX because I feel that everyday I walked into the XX Buildings, I was reminded that I was Black. Fortunately, I am highly skilled and educated and this has been somewhat of an equalizer. I could tell you some of the problems that I have encountered, such as illegally having my home mail re-routed to another employees house and having to spend many hours dealing with Treasury's Inspector General's Office, the Postal Service, and XX CIPs on this issue. I have experienced being rotated into a position of lesser authority, being excluded from group awards, omitted from the XX Telephone Book or having my Title incorrectly stated on numerous occasions. I found all of these sabotage attempts humorous. And, the funniest of all was when my Retirement Cake was not ordered on time by the Conference Office to arrive in time for the Celebration that had to be cancelled and I am told that this has never happened before. Well, I was sure that it had never happened before and my only hope was that it would not happen again. It has been seven days and I have yet to receive an apology from OMS Management. I know some of you know exactly what I am talking about and so I say to you that what does not kill you makes you stronger. I am truly stronger because of my time at XX. I have enjoyed working with a FEW of you and you will be missed. As Oprah Winfrey has said many times, I am at a point where "preparation meets opportunity". Good bye and good luck!

 

[Grace Under Pressure]

Bitterness never translates well.

 

[Rayderr]

About 7 years ago, I found out that my position on a contract was being eliminated (along with several others) 3 days prior to what was my last day. Sent out an email to the government people that I worked with that said something along the lines of "For those of you haven't heard, or just heard, or even heard before me, Friday is my last day." as a gentle swipe at my government boss who apparently had known for over a month that my position was going away.

 

[McGarnicle]

My favorite was the lady who said "I've enjoyed working with many of you".

 

[johnnycakes]

Black dot for Monday. Last year, a woman went out with a hail of gunfire, claiming racism, sexism, etc against my government agency. Thought it was a joke at first. Didn't know her unfortunately, she sent it system wide.

Forgot about this until getting another goodbye email a few minutes ago. I was way off on the time frame, this goes back to August 2011...

----

After almost 39 years of Federal Service, I will retire on September 2. I cannot say that I have enjoyed working at XX because I feel that everyday I walked into the XX Buildings, I was reminded that I was Black. Fortunately, I am highly skilled and educated and this has been somewhat of an equalizer. I could tell you some of the problems that I have encountered, such as illegally having my home mail re-routed to another employees house and having to spend many hours dealing with Treasury's Inspector General's Office, the Postal Service, and XX CIPs on this issue. I have experienced being rotated into a position of lesser authority, being excluded from group awards, omitted from the XX Telephone Book or having my Title incorrectly stated on numerous occasions. I found all of these sabotage attempts humorous. And, the funniest of all was when my Retirement Cake was not ordered on time by the Conference Office to arrive in time for the Celebration that had to be cancelled and I am told that this has never happened before. Well, I was sure that it had never happened before and my only hope was that it would not happen again. It has been seven days and I have yet to receive an apology from OMS Management. I know some of you know exactly what I am talking about and so I say to you that what does not kill you makes you stronger. I am truly stronger because of my time at XX. I have enjoyed working with a FEW of you and you will be missed. As Oprah Winfrey has said many times, I am at a point where "preparation meets opportunity". Good bye and good luck!

That could easily be adapted to a goodbye from the FFA.

 

[TheIronSheik]

Well . . . bye

An error occurredYou have reached your quota of positive votes for the day

 

[fruity pebbles]

Black dot for Monday. Last year, a woman went out with a hail of gunfire, claiming racism, sexism, etc against my government agency. Thought it was a joke at first. Didn't know her unfortunately, she sent it system wide.

Forgot about this until getting another goodbye email a few minutes ago. I was way off on the time frame, this goes back to August 2011...

----

After almost 39 years of Federal Service, I will retire on September 2. I cannot say that I have enjoyed working at XX because I feel that everyday I walked into the XX Buildings, I was reminded that I was Black. Fortunately, I am highly skilled and educated and this has been somewhat of an equalizer. I could tell you some of the problems that I have encountered, such as illegally having my home mail re-routed to another employees house and having to spend many hours dealing with Treasury's Inspector General's Office, the Postal Service, and XX CIPs on this issue. I have experienced being rotated into a position of lesser authority, being excluded from group awards, omitted from the XX Telephone Book or having my Title incorrectly stated on numerous occasions. I found all of these sabotage attempts humorous. And, the funniest of all was when my Retirement Cake was not ordered on time by the Conference Office to arrive in time for the Celebration that had to be cancelled and I am told that this has never happened before. Well, I was sure that it had never happened before and my only hope was that it would not happen again. It has been seven days and I have yet to receive an apology from OMS Management. I know some of you know exactly what I am talking about and so I say to you that what does not kill you makes you stronger. I am truly stronger because of my time at XX. I have enjoyed working with a FEW of you and you will be missed. As Oprah Winfrey has said many times, I am at a point where "preparation meets opportunity". Good bye and good luck!

lol jesus. everyones out to get me.

 

[[icon]]

People that make huge "good bye" emails at their place of employment are one step lower on the rung than people who make big "goodbye" posts on message boards.