***Official 2025 Golf Thread,, belljr bright lights of shank city*** (2 Viewers)

[Judge Smails]

Just saw the thread title

 

[Zow]

Just saw the thread title

That was a solid lesson you typed out!

 

[BeTheMatch]

Just saw the thread title

That was a solid lesson you typed out!

So much so that I still don't understand it!

 

[Instinctive]

Just saw the thread title

That was a solid lesson you typed out!

Honestly thread titles one of my favorite parts of the FFA

 

[Zow]

So some slight drama/etiquette issue I need some help on. If you may recall, I committed to doing a Pebble Beach trip later this year. Despite my inebriated state when I committed, my wife was comfortable at the time with the cost and remains comfortable. However, the cost is probably at the limit of her comfort and genuinely cannot blame her for that. Frankly, she turns 40 this year and we discussed and eventually agree that the 40th birthday trip she's doing here also probably costs about the same as the Pebble trip at x price. In other words, from an optics standpoint my trip just can't cost more than her 40th bday trip.

Some background on the group. Of the other three guys going, one is a very close friend of mine and we've done numerous trips together throughout the years. The other two guys I know decently but mainly from golf. In other words, while I think we've attended some social functions, I'm not as close to them. One of them is the guy organizing this. From what I know he owns multiple businesses, multiple homes, and from his online presence the appearance is at least given that he is wealthy (traveling all the time, has season tickets to multiple sports teams with very good seats, etc.).

Anyway, here's the rub: The organizer pitched the trip to me that the cost to us is X (basically the golf, hotel, and whatever the "package" cost). But he told us that if we could go and we paid X he would fly us there on a private jet provided we got ourselves to the air field (a three hour drive for me). Okay, awesome, I've never flown on a PJ before and this sounds fun and will help keep my cost down to the wife happy number. This was back in December. I have little to no idea what a PJ costs. Frankly, I assume he has a business hookup or he owns part of it or whatever.

A couple of days ago my close friend calls me to tell me that he intends to pitch in for his share of the jet and explains that the organizer is the type where he presents that he is loaded but really isn't. The impression that I get is that the organizer makes a lot but basically spends it as quickly as he makes it. I say okay and ask how much. He tells me what our share of the cost would be and it's basically 75% of the entire trip. This number, should I pay it, would put me at an amount I just cannot financially justify as it is just an amount I'm frankly uncomfortable with and even if I were it would make my trip cost significantly more than my wife's birthday trip which understandably won't fly (pun intended).

Not sure what the correct thing is to do here. I considered flying myself out and arranging my own travel but that would just increase the cost per guy on the PJ and would probably look odd to the organizer and he could take offense (maybe I could BS a story about needing to be near the Phoenix airport for work or something). I have also considered budgeting several hundred to buy the organizer's food and drinks (or at least a few meals and rounds until the number hit my affordable limit) but that could look weird in contrast to what my buddy is paying him and my buddy might get annoyed with me. I could also just do nothing as the organizer threw in the flight to entice attendance and it's not the organizer asking for the money. Lastly, I could just cancel.

Thoughts?

 

[BeTheMatch]

Yuck, tough one. I wouldn't pay in that situation. But to not pay and still go seems like a recipe for disaster. I'd either cancel with the truth or cancel with an excuse, whichever is going to be easier.

 

[TLEF316]

Told ya you should have picked the Bandon trip......

Seriously though, no way I'm paying for that just to be polite. Not a chance. And I'm someone who has no problem spending $$ on cool stuff AND generally likes to avoid conflict.

I assume these guys are bright enough to see that while you're a successful guy....you A)Dont have "F you" money and B) have multiple kids that at some point will probably have to go to college somewhere.

And seriously....isn't this like a 2 hour flight? Talk about a bad use of resources.

 

[Da Guru]

So some slight drama/etiquette issue I need some help on. If you may recall, I committed to doing a Pebble Beach trip later this year. Despite my inebriated state when I committed, my wife was comfortable at the time with the cost and remains comfortable. However, the cost is probably at the limit of her comfort and genuinely cannot blame her for that. Frankly, she turns 40 this year and we discussed and eventually agree that the 40th birthday trip she's doing here also probably costs about the same as the Pebble trip at x price. In other words, from an optics standpoint my trip just can't cost more than her 40th bday trip.

Some background on the group. Of the other three guys going, one is a very close friend of mine and we've done numerous trips together throughout the years. The other two guys I know decently but mainly from golf. In other words, while I think we've attended some social functions, I'm not as close to them. One of them is the guy organizing this. From what I know he owns multiple businesses, multiple homes, and from his online presence the appearance is at least given that he is wealthy (traveling all the time, has season tickets to multiple sports teams with very good seats, etc.).

Anyway, here's the rub: The organizer pitched the trip to me that the cost to us is X (basically the golf, hotel, and whatever the "package" cost). But he told us that if we could go and we paid X he would fly us there on a private jet provided we got ourselves to the air field (a three hour drive for me). Okay, awesome, I've never flown on a PJ before and this sounds fun and will help keep my cost down to the wife happy number. This was back in December. I have little to no idea what a PJ costs. Frankly, I assume he has a business hookup or he owns part of it or whatever.

A couple of days ago my close friend calls me to tell me that he intends to pitch in for his share of the jet and explains that the organizer is the type where he presents that he is loaded but really isn't. The impression that I get is that the organizer makes a lot but basically spends it as quickly as he makes it. I say okay and ask how much. He tells me what our share of the cost would be and it's basically 75% of the entire trip. This number, should I pay it, would put me at an amount I just cannot financially justify as it is just an amount I'm frankly uncomfortable with and even if I were it would make my trip cost significantly more than my wife's birthday trip which understandably won't fly (pun intended).

Not sure what the correct thing is to do here. I considered flying myself out and arranging my own travel but that would just increase the cost per guy on the PJ and would probably look odd to the organizer and he could take offense (maybe I could BS a story about needing to be near the Phoenix airport for work or something). I have also considered budgeting several hundred to buy the organizer's food and drinks (or at least a few meals and rounds until the number hit my affordable limit) but that could look weird in contrast to what my buddy is paying him and my buddy might get annoyed with me. I could also just do nothing as the organizer threw in the flight to entice attendance and it's not the organizer asking for the money. Lastly, I could just cancel.

Thoughts?

Over the years with my bailing, and others bailing on whatever you say it is best to keep it short and sweet without elaborate lies.

Last year I bailed on a 12 man golf trip to North Carolina because of a wedding I forgot we were attending when I committed. In golfing circles, it is easy to replace one guy on a trip.

I just said "When I committed to golf did not know we had a prior commitment, so it is not going to work for me this time" Thats it. Don`t go into I have my wife's birthday and she would be upset or whatever.

 

[Zow]

Told ya you should have picked the Bandon trip......

Seriously though, no way I'm paying for that just to be polite. Not a chance. And I'm someone who has no problem spending $$ on cool stuff AND generally likes to avoid conflict.

I assume these guys are bright enough to see that while you're a successful guy....you A)Dont have "F you" money and B) have multiple kids that at some point will probably have to go to college somewhere.

And seriously....isn't this like a 2 hour flight? Talk about a bad use of resources.

Your analysis is accurate here. I actually immediately checked on the Bandon option when this came up but it’s full.

My wife likes the “spend a few hundred on his drinks and meals” idea or buy him like a really bottle of whisky or champagne. I haven’t seen that mentioned here though. I also thought about calling the 4th guy but I just don’t know him well enough and I’m probably just making it overly awkward at that point.

 

[Zow]

So some slight drama/etiquette issue I need some help on. If you may recall, I committed to doing a Pebble Beach trip later this year. Despite my inebriated state when I committed, my wife was comfortable at the time with the cost and remains comfortable. However, the cost is probably at the limit of her comfort and genuinely cannot blame her for that. Frankly, she turns 40 this year and we discussed and eventually agree that the 40th birthday trip she's doing here also probably costs about the same as the Pebble trip at x price. In other words, from an optics standpoint my trip just can't cost more than her 40th bday trip.

Some background on the group. Of the other three guys going, one is a very close friend of mine and we've done numerous trips together throughout the years. The other two guys I know decently but mainly from golf. In other words, while I think we've attended some social functions, I'm not as close to them. One of them is the guy organizing this. From what I know he owns multiple businesses, multiple homes, and from his online presence the appearance is at least given that he is wealthy (traveling all the time, has season tickets to multiple sports teams with very good seats, etc.).

Anyway, here's the rub: The organizer pitched the trip to me that the cost to us is X (basically the golf, hotel, and whatever the "package" cost). But he told us that if we could go and we paid X he would fly us there on a private jet provided we got ourselves to the air field (a three hour drive for me). Okay, awesome, I've never flown on a PJ before and this sounds fun and will help keep my cost down to the wife happy number. This was back in December. I have little to no idea what a PJ costs. Frankly, I assume he has a business hookup or he owns part of it or whatever.

A couple of days ago my close friend calls me to tell me that he intends to pitch in for his share of the jet and explains that the organizer is the type where he presents that he is loaded but really isn't. The impression that I get is that the organizer makes a lot but basically spends it as quickly as he makes it. I say okay and ask how much. He tells me what our share of the cost would be and it's basically 75% of the entire trip. This number, should I pay it, would put me at an amount I just cannot financially justify as it is just an amount I'm frankly uncomfortable with and even if I were it would make my trip cost significantly more than my wife's birthday trip which understandably won't fly (pun intended).

Not sure what the correct thing is to do here. I considered flying myself out and arranging my own travel but that would just increase the cost per guy on the PJ and would probably look odd to the organizer and he could take offense (maybe I could BS a story about needing to be near the Phoenix airport for work or something). I have also considered budgeting several hundred to buy the organizer's food and drinks (or at least a few meals and rounds until the number hit my affordable limit) but that could look weird in contrast to what my buddy is paying him and my buddy might get annoyed with me. I could also just do nothing as the organizer threw in the flight to entice attendance and it's not the organizer asking for the money. Lastly, I could just cancel.

Thoughts?

Over the years with my bailing, and others bailing on whatever you say it is best to keep is short and sweet without elaborate lies.

Last year I bailed on a 12 man golf trip to North Carolina because of a wedding I forgot we were attending when I committed. In golfing circles, it is easy to replace one guy on a trip.

I just said "When I committed to golf did not know we had a prior commitment, so it is not going to work for me this time" Thats it. Don`t go into I have my wife's birthday and she would be upset or whatever.

I actually do have an excuse I can use that’s honest and legit so I could do this.

I also just really want to go.

 

[3 hour lunch]

So some slight drama/etiquette issue I need some help on. If you may recall, I committed to doing a Pebble Beach trip later this year. Despite my inebriated state when I committed, my wife was comfortable at the time with the cost and remains comfortable. However, the cost is probably at the limit of her comfort and genuinely cannot blame her for that. Frankly, she turns 40 this year and we discussed and eventually agree that the 40th birthday trip she's doing here also probably costs about the same as the Pebble trip at x price. In other words, from an optics standpoint my trip just can't cost more than her 40th bday trip.

Some background on the group. Of the other three guys going, one is a very close friend of mine and we've done numerous trips together throughout the years. The other two guys I know decently but mainly from golf. In other words, while I think we've attended some social functions, I'm not as close to them. One of them is the guy organizing this. From what I know he owns multiple businesses, multiple homes, and from his online presence the appearance is at least given that he is wealthy (traveling all the time, has season tickets to multiple sports teams with very good seats, etc.).

Anyway, here's the rub: The organizer pitched the trip to me that the cost to us is X (basically the golf, hotel, and whatever the "package" cost). But he told us that if we could go and we paid X he would fly us there on a private jet provided we got ourselves to the air field (a three hour drive for me). Okay, awesome, I've never flown on a PJ before and this sounds fun and will help keep my cost down to the wife happy number. This was back in December. I have little to no idea what a PJ costs. Frankly, I assume he has a business hookup or he owns part of it or whatever.

A couple of days ago my close friend calls me to tell me that he intends to pitch in for his share of the jet and explains that the organizer is the type where he presents that he is loaded but really isn't. The impression that I get is that the organizer makes a lot but basically spends it as quickly as he makes it. I say okay and ask how much. He tells me what our share of the cost would be and it's basically 75% of the entire trip. This number, should I pay it, would put me at an amount I just cannot financially justify as it is just an amount I'm frankly uncomfortable with and even if I were it would make my trip cost significantly more than my wife's birthday trip which understandably won't fly (pun intended).

Not sure what the correct thing is to do here. I considered flying myself out and arranging my own travel but that would just increase the cost per guy on the PJ and would probably look odd to the organizer and he could take offense (maybe I could BS a story about needing to be near the Phoenix airport for work or something). I have also considered budgeting several hundred to buy the organizer's food and drinks (or at least a few meals and rounds until the number hit my affordable limit) but that could look weird in contrast to what my buddy is paying him and my buddy might get annoyed with me. I could also just do nothing as the organizer threw in the flight to entice attendance and it's not the organizer asking for the money. Lastly, I could just cancel.

Thoughts?

Over the years with my bailing, and others bailing on whatever you say it is best to keep is short and sweet without elaborate lies.

Last year I bailed on a 12 man golf trip to North Carolina because of a wedding I forgot we were attending when I committed. In golfing circles, it is easy to replace one guy on a trip.

I just said "When I committed to golf did not know we had a prior commitment, so it is not going to work for me this time" Thats it. Don`t go into I have my wife's birthday and she would be upset or whatever.

I actually do have an excuse I can use that’s honest and legit so I could do this.

I also just really want to go.

Bail. You don’t even know the guy that well so it shouldn’t be that awkward. Stay one night with your wife at Spanish Bay and play Pebble or just go walk on as a single.

 

[Instinctive]

So some slight drama/etiquette issue I need some help on. If you may recall, I committed to doing a Pebble Beach trip later this year. Despite my inebriated state when I committed, my wife was comfortable at the time with the cost and remains comfortable. However, the cost is probably at the limit of her comfort and genuinely cannot blame her for that. Frankly, she turns 40 this year and we discussed and eventually agree that the 40th birthday trip she's doing here also probably costs about the same as the Pebble trip at x price. In other words, from an optics standpoint my trip just can't cost more than her 40th bday trip.

Some background on the group. Of the other three guys going, one is a very close friend of mine and we've done numerous trips together throughout the years. The other two guys I know decently but mainly from golf. In other words, while I think we've attended some social functions, I'm not as close to them. One of them is the guy organizing this. From what I know he owns multiple businesses, multiple homes, and from his online presence the appearance is at least given that he is wealthy (traveling all the time, has season tickets to multiple sports teams with very good seats, etc.).

Anyway, here's the rub: The organizer pitched the trip to me that the cost to us is X (basically the golf, hotel, and whatever the "package" cost). But he told us that if we could go and we paid X he would fly us there on a private jet provided we got ourselves to the air field (a three hour drive for me). Okay, awesome, I've never flown on a PJ before and this sounds fun and will help keep my cost down to the wife happy number. This was back in December. I have little to no idea what a PJ costs. Frankly, I assume he has a business hookup or he owns part of it or whatever.

A couple of days ago my close friend calls me to tell me that he intends to pitch in for his share of the jet and explains that the organizer is the type where he presents that he is loaded but really isn't. The impression that I get is that the organizer makes a lot but basically spends it as quickly as he makes it. I say okay and ask how much. He tells me what our share of the cost would be and it's basically 75% of the entire trip. This number, should I pay it, would put me at an amount I just cannot financially justify as it is just an amount I'm frankly uncomfortable with and even if I were it would make my trip cost significantly more than my wife's birthday trip which understandably won't fly (pun intended).

Not sure what the correct thing is to do here. I considered flying myself out and arranging my own travel but that would just increase the cost per guy on the PJ and would probably look odd to the organizer and he could take offense (maybe I could BS a story about needing to be near the Phoenix airport for work or something). I have also considered budgeting several hundred to buy the organizer's food and drinks (or at least a few meals and rounds until the number hit my affordable limit) but that could look weird in contrast to what my buddy is paying him and my buddy might get annoyed with me. I could also just do nothing as the organizer threw in the flight to entice attendance and it's not the organizer asking for the money. Lastly, I could just cancel.

Thoughts?

Over the years with my bailing, and others bailing on whatever you say it is best to keep is short and sweet without elaborate lies.

Last year I bailed on a 12 man golf trip to North Carolina because of a wedding I forgot we were attending when I committed. In golfing circles, it is easy to replace one guy on a trip.

I just said "When I committed to golf did not know we had a prior commitment, so it is not going to work for me this time" Thats it. Don`t go into I have my wife's birthday and she would be upset or whatever.

I actually do have an excuse I can use that’s honest and legit so I could do this.

I also just really want to go.

It's really not that hard to say "Y'all I appreciate the PJ idea, but I can't swing it this year with other expenses we plan. Would love to join but would have to travel on my own. No worries if you want to replace me."

Am I missing why that's not an option?

 

[Zow]

So some slight drama/etiquette issue I need some help on. If you may recall, I committed to doing a Pebble Beach trip later this year. Despite my inebriated state when I committed, my wife was comfortable at the time with the cost and remains comfortable. However, the cost is probably at the limit of her comfort and genuinely cannot blame her for that. Frankly, she turns 40 this year and we discussed and eventually agree that the 40th birthday trip she's doing here also probably costs about the same as the Pebble trip at x price. In other words, from an optics standpoint my trip just can't cost more than her 40th bday trip.

Some background on the group. Of the other three guys going, one is a very close friend of mine and we've done numerous trips together throughout the years. The other two guys I know decently but mainly from golf. In other words, while I think we've attended some social functions, I'm not as close to them. One of them is the guy organizing this. From what I know he owns multiple businesses, multiple homes, and from his online presence the appearance is at least given that he is wealthy (traveling all the time, has season tickets to multiple sports teams with very good seats, etc.).

Anyway, here's the rub: The organizer pitched the trip to me that the cost to us is X (basically the golf, hotel, and whatever the "package" cost). But he told us that if we could go and we paid X he would fly us there on a private jet provided we got ourselves to the air field (a three hour drive for me). Okay, awesome, I've never flown on a PJ before and this sounds fun and will help keep my cost down to the wife happy number. This was back in December. I have little to no idea what a PJ costs. Frankly, I assume he has a business hookup or he owns part of it or whatever.

A couple of days ago my close friend calls me to tell me that he intends to pitch in for his share of the jet and explains that the organizer is the type where he presents that he is loaded but really isn't. The impression that I get is that the organizer makes a lot but basically spends it as quickly as he makes it. I say okay and ask how much. He tells me what our share of the cost would be and it's basically 75% of the entire trip. This number, should I pay it, would put me at an amount I just cannot financially justify as it is just an amount I'm frankly uncomfortable with and even if I were it would make my trip cost significantly more than my wife's birthday trip which understandably won't fly (pun intended).

Not sure what the correct thing is to do here. I considered flying myself out and arranging my own travel but that would just increase the cost per guy on the PJ and would probably look odd to the organizer and he could take offense (maybe I could BS a story about needing to be near the Phoenix airport for work or something). I have also considered budgeting several hundred to buy the organizer's food and drinks (or at least a few meals and rounds until the number hit my affordable limit) but that could look weird in contrast to what my buddy is paying him and my buddy might get annoyed with me. I could also just do nothing as the organizer threw in the flight to entice attendance and it's not the organizer asking for the money. Lastly, I could just cancel.

Thoughts?

Over the years with my bailing, and others bailing on whatever you say it is best to keep is short and sweet without elaborate lies.

Last year I bailed on a 12 man golf trip to North Carolina because of a wedding I forgot we were attending when I committed. In golfing circles, it is easy to replace one guy on a trip.

I just said "When I committed to golf did not know we had a prior commitment, so it is not going to work for me this time" Thats it. Don`t go into I have my wife's birthday and she would be upset or whatever.

I actually do have an excuse I can use that’s honest and legit so I could do this.

I also just really want to go.

It's really not that hard to say "Y'all I appreciate the PJ idea, but I can't swing it this year with other expenses we plan. Would love to join but would have to travel on my own. No worries if you want to replace me."

Am I missing why that's not an option?

My hesitation with this is that I believe the organizer would say “What do you mean? I said I’d cover it.” And then maybe be offended.

I’m probably overthinking this.

 

[Instinctive]

So some slight drama/etiquette issue I need some help on. If you may recall, I committed to doing a Pebble Beach trip later this year. Despite my inebriated state when I committed, my wife was comfortable at the time with the cost and remains comfortable. However, the cost is probably at the limit of her comfort and genuinely cannot blame her for that. Frankly, she turns 40 this year and we discussed and eventually agree that the 40th birthday trip she's doing here also probably costs about the same as the Pebble trip at x price. In other words, from an optics standpoint my trip just can't cost more than her 40th bday trip.

Some background on the group. Of the other three guys going, one is a very close friend of mine and we've done numerous trips together throughout the years. The other two guys I know decently but mainly from golf. In other words, while I think we've attended some social functions, I'm not as close to them. One of them is the guy organizing this. From what I know he owns multiple businesses, multiple homes, and from his online presence the appearance is at least given that he is wealthy (traveling all the time, has season tickets to multiple sports teams with very good seats, etc.).

Anyway, here's the rub: The organizer pitched the trip to me that the cost to us is X (basically the golf, hotel, and whatever the "package" cost). But he told us that if we could go and we paid X he would fly us there on a private jet provided we got ourselves to the air field (a three hour drive for me). Okay, awesome, I've never flown on a PJ before and this sounds fun and will help keep my cost down to the wife happy number. This was back in December. I have little to no idea what a PJ costs. Frankly, I assume he has a business hookup or he owns part of it or whatever.

A couple of days ago my close friend calls me to tell me that he intends to pitch in for his share of the jet and explains that the organizer is the type where he presents that he is loaded but really isn't. The impression that I get is that the organizer makes a lot but basically spends it as quickly as he makes it. I say okay and ask how much. He tells me what our share of the cost would be and it's basically 75% of the entire trip. This number, should I pay it, would put me at an amount I just cannot financially justify as it is just an amount I'm frankly uncomfortable with and even if I were it would make my trip cost significantly more than my wife's birthday trip which understandably won't fly (pun intended).

Not sure what the correct thing is to do here. I considered flying myself out and arranging my own travel but that would just increase the cost per guy on the PJ and would probably look odd to the organizer and he could take offense (maybe I could BS a story about needing to be near the Phoenix airport for work or something). I have also considered budgeting several hundred to buy the organizer's food and drinks (or at least a few meals and rounds until the number hit my affordable limit) but that could look weird in contrast to what my buddy is paying him and my buddy might get annoyed with me. I could also just do nothing as the organizer threw in the flight to entice attendance and it's not the organizer asking for the money. Lastly, I could just cancel.

Thoughts?

Over the years with my bailing, and others bailing on whatever you say it is best to keep is short and sweet without elaborate lies.

Last year I bailed on a 12 man golf trip to North Carolina because of a wedding I forgot we were attending when I committed. In golfing circles, it is easy to replace one guy on a trip.

I just said "When I committed to golf did not know we had a prior commitment, so it is not going to work for me this time" Thats it. Don`t go into I have my wife's birthday and she would be upset or whatever.

I actually do have an excuse I can use that’s honest and legit so I could do this.

I also just really want to go.

It's really not that hard to say "Y'all I appreciate the PJ idea, but I can't swing it this year with other expenses we plan. Would love to join but would have to travel on my own. No worries if you want to replace me."

Am I missing why that's not an option?

My hesitation with this is that I believe the organizer would say “What do you mean? I said I’d cover it.” And then maybe be offended.

I’m probably overthinking this.

Then I'd let him cover it. Overthinking sure seems like it.

 

[Zow]

So some slight drama/etiquette issue I need some help on. If you may recall, I committed to doing a Pebble Beach trip later this year. Despite my inebriated state when I committed, my wife was comfortable at the time with the cost and remains comfortable. However, the cost is probably at the limit of her comfort and genuinely cannot blame her for that. Frankly, she turns 40 this year and we discussed and eventually agree that the 40th birthday trip she's doing here also probably costs about the same as the Pebble trip at x price. In other words, from an optics standpoint my trip just can't cost more than her 40th bday trip.

Some background on the group. Of the other three guys going, one is a very close friend of mine and we've done numerous trips together throughout the years. The other two guys I know decently but mainly from golf. In other words, while I think we've attended some social functions, I'm not as close to them. One of them is the guy organizing this. From what I know he owns multiple businesses, multiple homes, and from his online presence the appearance is at least given that he is wealthy (traveling all the time, has season tickets to multiple sports teams with very good seats, etc.).

Anyway, here's the rub: The organizer pitched the trip to me that the cost to us is X (basically the golf, hotel, and whatever the "package" cost). But he told us that if we could go and we paid X he would fly us there on a private jet provided we got ourselves to the air field (a three hour drive for me). Okay, awesome, I've never flown on a PJ before and this sounds fun and will help keep my cost down to the wife happy number. This was back in December. I have little to no idea what a PJ costs. Frankly, I assume he has a business hookup or he owns part of it or whatever.

A couple of days ago my close friend calls me to tell me that he intends to pitch in for his share of the jet and explains that the organizer is the type where he presents that he is loaded but really isn't. The impression that I get is that the organizer makes a lot but basically spends it as quickly as he makes it. I say okay and ask how much. He tells me what our share of the cost would be and it's basically 75% of the entire trip. This number, should I pay it, would put me at an amount I just cannot financially justify as it is just an amount I'm frankly uncomfortable with and even if I were it would make my trip cost significantly more than my wife's birthday trip which understandably won't fly (pun intended).

Not sure what the correct thing is to do here. I considered flying myself out and arranging my own travel but that would just increase the cost per guy on the PJ and would probably look odd to the organizer and he could take offense (maybe I could BS a story about needing to be near the Phoenix airport for work or something). I have also considered budgeting several hundred to buy the organizer's food and drinks (or at least a few meals and rounds until the number hit my affordable limit) but that could look weird in contrast to what my buddy is paying him and my buddy might get annoyed with me. I could also just do nothing as the organizer threw in the flight to entice attendance and it's not the organizer asking for the money. Lastly, I could just cancel.

Thoughts?

Over the years with my bailing, and others bailing on whatever you say it is best to keep is short and sweet without elaborate lies.

Last year I bailed on a 12 man golf trip to North Carolina because of a wedding I forgot we were attending when I committed. In golfing circles, it is easy to replace one guy on a trip.

I just said "When I committed to golf did not know we had a prior commitment, so it is not going to work for me this time" Thats it. Don`t go into I have my wife's birthday and she would be upset or whatever.

I actually do have an excuse I can use that’s honest and legit so I could do this.

I also just really want to go.

It's really not that hard to say "Y'all I appreciate the PJ idea, but I can't swing it this year with other expenses we plan. Would love to join but would have to travel on my own. No worries if you want to replace me."

Am I missing why that's not an option?

My hesitation with this is that I believe the organizer would say “What do you mean? I said I’d cover it.” And then maybe be offended.

I’m probably overthinking this.

I also may be doing a poor job of explaining. Here's a more simple breakdown:

Guy A (organizer, arms-length golfing buddy who presents as wealthy with no kids): "Woz, want to go to Pebble? It'll cost you X and if you can go and can cover that, you can hop on my PJ at no cost."
Guy B (close friend of mine, probably similar income to me but no kids): "Woz, I know Guy A said he'd cover the PJ, but I'm giving him my share (which make the trip cost much more) and I think you should, too. Guy A isn't asking this of us, though, but Guy A doesn't have the money you may think he does."
Guy C (arms-length golfing buddy, has kids, comes from family money): I have no idea what he is doing and whether Guy B also called him to encourage him to pay his share. I don't know Guy C enough to call him and ask. I could call Guy B back or just let it organically come up next time I talk to him and ask him if he knows what Guy C is doing.

To be clear, Guy A has not directly asked me for anything at this point to cover the PJ nor said anything further to me about the trip but for how excited he is for it. In theory, I probably could just show up and proceed as he told me. However, I likely look like a mooch to Guy B (my close friend) and I would look worse if Guy C also tosses in his share. But, if I paid my share, the trip would either be unaffordable and/or I'd have an understandably angry wife.

Arguably, Guy B is stepping out of his lane here and creating an issue where there isn't one. Heck, Guy A could be offended if we all just through cash at him when he didn't ask for it. I do nonetheless trust Guy B though and I'm worried a bit about offending him, though I think he knows what he asked of me puts me in an uncomfortable zone.

My initial thought (and wife approved) was to bring an expensive bottle of alcohol for the PJ ride as a thank you before I posted in this thread.

 

[Zow]

Then I'd let him cover it. Overthinking sure seems like it.

See my below (er, above) post. I tried to explain it better so hopefully it makes more sense now.

 

[Instinctive]

Then I'd let him cover it. Overthinking sure seems like it.

See my below (er, above) post. I tried to explain it better so hopefully it makes more sense now.

No I followed it perfectly (long explanation post was exactly what I thought)

Guy B is absolutely overstepping. It's not his business how Guy A spends his money and A obviously enjoys doing something cool like this for his friends.

Regardless of the pay situation, when someone does something nice for me I bring a gift, so that idea always made sense regardless of whether you think Guy A is overspending or not.

This, I think it's overthinking.

Person offers nice things. I say "are you sure? It's not necessary, I'm happy to split it." They say they're sure, I say thank you. When the time comes I bring a thank you gift too.

It's exactly how I wish to be treated. Can't go wrong with golden rule.

 

[tommyGunZ]

I’m with Instinctive, let the dude who offered the PJ cover it. A few G’s isn’t going to break him and if it indeed causes him to reflect and perhaps not offer free trips he can’t afford in a PJ in the future, it’s win-win. You’re actually doing him a favor Woz.

 

[belljr]

I hit five shanks today with my wedges and then if I didn't hit a shank I hit it super fat. So frustrating

 

[BeTheMatch]

I hit five shanks today with my wedges and then if I didn't hit a shank I hit it super fat. So frustrating

I hate my Costco wedges so much!

 

[Zow]

I hit five shanks today with my wedges and then if I didn't hit a shank I hit it super fat. So frustrating

We don’t say that word out loud.

 

[BeTheMatch]

I hit five shanks today with my wedges and then if I didn't hit a shank I hit it super fat. So frustrating

We don’t say that word out loud.

Youuuuuuu.... Shut your mouth when you're talking to me!

 

[Judge Smails]

I hit five shanks today with my wedges and then if I didn't hit a shank I hit it super fat. So frustrating

Don’t say the S word! Laterals, man, laterals!

 

[Judge Smails]

As for the trip, you have zero obligation to contribute for the jet. I’d pick up the guy’s dinner, nice bottle of something, etc. If Player B wants to contribute to the jet that’s his choice. If not comfortable with the arrangement then bail.

BTW - went years ago to a couples Pebble Beach trip for a buddy’s 50th. Stayed at the Lodge. Golf, spa, dinners made those 3 days cost more than taking my whole family to Hawaii for 2 weeks

 

[Cowboysfan8]

BTW - went years ago to a couples Pebble Beach trip for a buddy’s 50th. Stayed at the Lodge. Golf, spa, dinners made those 3 days cost more than taking my whole family to Hawaii for 2 weeks

 

[Zow]

Was -2 through nine holes yesterday. Nearly dunked three approach shots and reached a 600 yard par 5 in 2. I think I had 11 putts on the front. Despite the month off from it, whisky remains my spinach on the course.

Hit a good tee shot on hole 10 (tough par 3) where my tee ball stayed unluckily on top of a shelf leading to a three putt. Made some subsequent pars, including a par on a par 5 where I got to the greenside bunker in two shots but it took me two to get out, but couldn't hang on and I lost the birdie magic as I missed a couple of ten footers on the finishing holes for birdie. 74.

 

[Zow]

As for the trip, you have zero obligation to contribute for the jet. I’d pick up the guy’s dinner, nice bottle of something, etc. If Player B wants to contribute to the jet that’s his choice. If not comfortable with the arrangement then bail.

BTW - went years ago to a couples Pebble Beach trip for a buddy’s 50th. Stayed at the Lodge. Golf, spa, dinners made those 3 days cost more than taking my whole family to Hawaii for 2 weeks

Was it worth it?

 

[Judge Smails]

As for the trip, you have zero obligation to contribute for the jet. I’d pick up the guy’s dinner, nice bottle of something, etc. If Player B wants to contribute to the jet that’s his choice. If not comfortable with the arrangement then bail.

BTW - went years ago to a couples Pebble Beach trip for a buddy’s 50th. Stayed at the Lodge. Golf, spa, dinners made those 3 days cost more than taking my whole family to Hawaii for 2 weeks

Was it worth it?

Every golf addict should play bucket list courses if possible in their lifetimes. Pebble, Bandon, St Andrews, whatever they are to you. Always worth it. But how you package the trip defines “worth it”. Would I spend on a private jet? No. Would I bring wives and do full spa days at ridiculous prices (more than the golf in some cases). No. Would I eat at property restaurants the whole time? No. I’d fly commercial, do Airbnb when possible. Cook at the property. We did that for Bandon. 20 guys. Rented a huge house that had room for all of us to sleep 5 minutes from the course. Stopped at Costco on the way. Had amazing food and drink. There’s ways to do it more cost effectively that make “worth it” a no brainer.

 

[TLEF316]

Doesn't bandon tack on a significant per round up charge if you don't stay on property? Did it still work out in your favor financially?

Also....my general understanding is that lodging is the bottleneck out there (which is why you need to book 18 months in advance). Does staying off property get rid of that requirement?

 

[3 hour lunch]

I think for Bandon you can only get teetimes like 3 weeks in advance or something if you don’t stay on property? I’m surprised a group of 20 was able to all play. The facilities at Bandon are top notch and I loved staying on property but it is not cheap so being offsite would reduce cost quite a bit.

As I said before about Pebble, just stay anywhere in the area for a few days and call 24 hours in advance to get on as a single. Anyone can walk with you. The Lodge is like 1k a night and Spanish Bay only slightly cheaper. Both great places for lunch or a drink but no need to stay there unless you need a teetime for a foursome. Easy to get on Spanish or Spyglass staying offsite too.

 

[CGRdrJoe]

I think for Bandon you can only get teetimes like 3 weeks in advance or something if you don’t stay on property? I’m surprised a group of 20 was able to all play. The facilities at Bandon are top notch and I loved staying on property but it is not cheap so being offsite would reduce cost quite a bit.

As I said before about Pebble, just stay anywhere in the area for a few days and call 24 hours in advance to get on as a single. Anyone can walk with you. The Lodge is like 1k a night and Spanish Bay only slightly cheaper. Both great places for lunch or a drink but no need to stay there unless you need a teetime for a foursome. Easy to get on Spanish or Spyglass staying offsite too.

i plan to play spanish and spyglass early march, ncga has a great deal where they are 45% off.

 

[3 hour lunch]

I think for Bandon you can only get teetimes like 3 weeks in advance or something if you don’t stay on property? I’m surprised a group of 20 was able to all play. The facilities at Bandon are top notch and I loved staying on property but it is not cheap so being offsite would reduce cost quite a bit.

As I said before about Pebble, just stay anywhere in the area for a few days and call 24 hours in advance to get on as a single. Anyone can walk with you. The Lodge is like 1k a night and Spanish Bay only slightly cheaper. Both great places for lunch or a drink but no need to stay there unless you need a teetime for a foursome. Easy to get on Spanish or Spyglass staying offsite too.

i plan to play spanish and spyglass early march, ncga has a great deal where they are 45% off.

Wow that’s a nice discount. I didn’t love Spanish but didn’t play great and had just played Pebble. Amazing property overall though. I never got to do Spyglass

 

[Thorn]

As for the trip, you have zero obligation to contribute for the jet. I’d pick up the guy’s dinner, nice bottle of something, etc. If Player B wants to contribute to the jet that’s his choice. If not comfortable with the arrangement then bail.

BTW - went years ago to a couples Pebble Beach trip for a buddy’s 50th. Stayed at the Lodge. Golf, spa, dinners made those 3 days cost more than taking my whole family to Hawaii for 2 weeks

Was it worth it?

Every golf addict should play bucket list courses if possible in their lifetimes. Pebble, Bandon, St Andrews, whatever they are to you. Always worth it. But how you package the trip defines “worth it”. Would I spend on a private jet? No. Would I bring wives and do full spa days at ridiculous prices (more than the golf in some cases). No. Would I eat at property restaurants the whole time? No. I’d fly commercial, do Airbnb when possible. Cook at the property. We did that for Bandon. 20 guys. Rented a huge house that had room for all of us to sleep 5 minutes from the course. Stopped at Costco on the way. Had amazing food and drink. There’s ways to do it more cost effectively that make “worth it” a no brainer.

One tip I learned years ago, when going on a golf trip (or really any domestic trip), I do an Amazon order of all my snacks and liquid IV for the week, and make the delivery address the hotel I'm staying at. Check in, oh do you have a package for me? Yes sir! Great, probably save $100.

 

[Judge Smails]

This is where we stayed in Bandon. Amazing. Still had to book golf a year out.

https://www.airbnb.com/rooms/137074...earch_id=9d233866-09e6-4f69-a85b-832901f0f818

 

[belljr]

I am seriously considering quitting. I just shot a 91 and an 88. I've hit shots for two rounds that I haven't hit in 10 years. I have no clue what the going on

 

[3 hour lunch]

This is where we stayed in Bandon. Amazing. Still had to book golf a year out.

https://www.airbnb.com/rooms/137074...earch_id=9d233866-09e6-4f69-a85b-832901f0f818

That place does look cool. Probably need a group of your size to save a ton. I thought I remembered there being no offsite teetimes until 21 days before or something similar but it does look like you can do it a year before, like you mentioned.

 

[3 hour lunch]

I am seriously considering quitting. I just shot a 91 and an 88. I've hit shots for two rounds that I haven't hit in 10 years. I have no clue what the going on

Happens to the best of us! Hit the range or even grab a quick 30 minute lesson if it continues

 

[belljr]

I am seriously considering quitting. I just shot a 91 and an 88. I've hit shots for two rounds that I haven't hit in 10 years. I have no clue what the going on

Happens to the best of us! Hit the range or even grab a quick 30 minute lesson if it continues

I think the three lessons I've taken have put me into this mess. I was just trying to hit that next plateau of getting below a six and now I think I'm like a 12

 

[The Gator]

Once you guys are confident i n your game; how often do you mix in lessons?

I've been told even at the beginning it can be overwhelming and they should be spread out while you work on stuff.

 

[Zow]

Once you guys are confident i n your game; how often do you mix in lessons?

I've been told even at the beginning it can be overwhelming and they should be spread out while you work on stuff.

Rarely. I mix in more whisky and ask a pro for one noticeable swing flaw and the fix.

 

[belljr]

Once you guys are confident i n your game; how often do you mix in lessons?

I've been told even at the beginning it can be overwhelming and they should be spread out while you work on stuff.

Until a couple years ago I never took one lesson

 

[Judge Smails]

Good video of a similar bunker drill. Right setup, hit your spot every time = easy shot

https://youtube.com/shorts/2g34fJwKSIY?si=yWvOzgVi4hEs7-vS

 

[Judge Smails]

I am seriously considering quitting. I just shot a 91 and an 88. I've hit shots for two rounds that I haven't hit in 10 years. I have no clue what the going on

Happens to the best of us! Hit the range or even grab a quick 30 minute lesson if it continues

Or take a break. Usually is a great fix

 

[belljr]

Once you guys are confident i n your game; how often do you mix in lessons?

I've been told even at the beginning it can be overwhelming and they should be spread out while you work on stuff.

Until a couple years ago I never took one lesson

I should say I've read a lot of books back in the day and practiced and practiced and practiced a ton. However, I did take a couple lessons when I was a kid just on the basics and everything. Obviously I needed to start somewhere

 

[belljr]

I am seriously considering quitting. I just shot a 91 and an 88. I've hit shots for two rounds that I haven't hit in 10 years. I have no clue what the going on

Happens to the best of us! Hit the range or even grab a quick 30 minute lesson if it continues

Or take a break. Usually is a great fix

I took a month off. That's how I got in this mess LOL

 

[Instinctive]

Once you guys are confident i n your game; how often do you mix in lessons?

I've been told even at the beginning it can be overwhelming and they should be spread out while you work on stuff.

I think it depends on your play style and your own practice.

Last year I decided to take my 20 to under 15. Starting in June I took lessons every ~4 weeks, played 2 rounds a week, and spent at minimum one hour every Thursday to sunday practicing. Then on top of that, putting mat at home at least a couple hours a week and chipping and putting for an hour total before each round.

As I got to August, and started parental leave, I moved more from monthly towards biweekly. Kept up the practice and made sure it was every day.

Ended September at a 13.

Plan this year is to do something similar but a little less intense and get under 10.

 

[The Gator]

Once you guys are confident i n your game; how often do you mix in lessons?

I've been told even at the beginning it can be overwhelming and they should be spread out while you work on stuff.

I think it depends on your play style and your own practice.

Last year I decided to take my 20 to under 15. Starting in June I took lessons every ~4 weeks, played 2 rounds a week, and spent at minimum one hour every Thursday to sunday practicing. Then on top of that, putting mat at home at least a couple hours a week and chipping and putting for an hour total before each round.

As I got to August, and started parental leave, I moved more from monthly towards biweekly. Kept up the practice and made sure it was every day.

Ended September at a 13.

Plan this year is to do something similar but a little less intense and get under 10.

Awesome, thanks for the reply.

My goal this spring is more practice at home. Need to setup a few things for that.

 

[Thorn]

I follow the Harvey Penick school of thought with lessons:

One bad round, ignore it. Golf is hard.
Two bad rounds, review fundamentals of grip, stance, etc.
Three bad rounds, time to check in with a pro for a lesson.

 

[Instinctive]

Once you guys are confident i n your game; how often do you mix in lessons?

I've been told even at the beginning it can be overwhelming and they should be spread out while you work on stuff.

I think it depends on your play style and your own practice.

Last year I decided to take my 20 to under 15. Starting in June I took lessons every ~4 weeks, played 2 rounds a week, and spent at minimum one hour every Thursday to sunday practicing. Then on top of that, putting mat at home at least a couple hours a week and chipping and putting for an hour total before each round.

As I got to August, and started parental leave, I moved more from monthly towards biweekly. Kept up the practice and made sure it was every day.

Ended September at a 13.

Plan this year is to do something similar but a little less intense and get under 10.

Awesome, thanks for the reply.

My goal this spring is more practice at home. Need to setup a few things for that.

Cost me like $200 total for a really good mat and a net thing. Another $40 for a great phone holder for videos.