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Once in a lifetime opportunity - WWYD? (1 Viewer)

E-Z Glider

E-Z Glider

Footballguy
Let me start by saying I live in a pretty small, boring, white-bread, suburban type area. Rarely does anything happen that I would consider thread-worthy. This morning on my way to work though, I unexpectedly stumbled upon a bizarre, once in a lifetime opportunity.

My morning commute to the office is very short and typically uneventful. Less than 10 minutes door-to-door. My office is in a corporate center and the easiest way for me to get there is to take a back road that passes by a trailer-park. It's pretty much the only trailer-park in the area and fairly well known for all of the unsavory reasons you would expect. Anyway, I drive past the entrance to the trailer park, wind around the bend, and start up a hill when all of the sudden two females of African-american descent come leaping out on the road with their arms flailing. It's obvious they want me to stop. The one girl has crazy (fake) pink hair and the other has a black beanie cap. Now, I don't want to make any assumptions on their professions, but from the looks of their makeup, bling and outfits, it wouldn't be a stretch to assume they work on a pole for a living. They were young-ish and looked pretty good-ish, despite the fact that they were obviously still rolling-high from an all night bender. I push the brakes, lower the window, and slowly ease up the them....

Me: What's going on?

Loaded strippers: Are you going to York?!?!? Can you take us to York?!?!?

Me: No, sorry, I'm not going to York. That's like a half hour from here.

Loaded strippers: OMG, what are we going to do?!!?!? It's FREEZING out here!!! We're never going to make it!!!?! Can you at least take us to a gas station?!?!??

(Me thinking: I don't know what the hell's going on here, but this looks like nothing but trouble. I don't care that they're young-ish and look pretty good-ish, I just need to get the F out of here)

Me speaking: Sure, hop in!

************************************

Both girls squeal with delight and instantly start thanking me. The pink-haired girls screams "Im getting in the front, you get in the back". As they crawled into the truck, I could see they were indeed loaded. They smelled exactly the way you would expect. A mix of very strong perfume, booze and cigs. They start making themselves at home, grabbing my phone charger, and moving the vents to direct as much heat as possible. 

************************************

Me: Where are you guys coming from?

Pink: Some ####ing ####-head brought us here and then left us. I wasn't staying there for THAT ####, no ####ing way boo, I dont play that ####. That's some ####ed up ####. Sorry, Excuse my language.

Me: Uh, ok.

Pink turned to her friend and started talking barely intelligible ghetto-speak. I started wondering what I got myself into. I kept a close eye on the rear-view mirror, watching the girl in the backseat to make sure she wasn't getting ready to stick a shiv in my neck. Pink was sitting next to me digging her hands wildly through all of her pockets. I assume she is looking for a gun. All of the sudden she screams I FOUND IT!!!! IVE BEEN LOOKING FOR THIS ALL NIGHT!!! CHECK IT OUT BOO, I FOUND IT!!! I look and she is holding a small vile with some rocks in it. Her friend in the back starts screaming happily too I THOUGHT IT WAS GONE!!!! OMG!!! YES!!!! They both look at each other and start laughing... all of the sudden Pink gets very calm and determined. She looks at me and speaks very slowly....

"Please sir... please... will you PLEASE take us to York. We will PAY you. We will do ANYTHING you want if you will just take us to York!!! PLEASE!"

So..... WWYD?

 
E-Z Glider said:
************************************

Both girls squeal with delight and instantly start thanking me. The pink-haired girls screams "Im getting in the front, you get in the back". As they crawled into the truck, I could see they were indeed loaded. They smelled exactly the way you would expect. A mix of very strong perfume, booze and cigs.

So..... WWYD?
Click to expand...
Cigs?  Nice.  If they smoke they poke!  

 

 
Huh, here at my job it was Bring Your Own Strippers To Work Day.  Guess y'all missed that memo.

 
Drop them off at the gas station and after work get your car checked to make sure it didn't catch any STDs from them.

 
At this point your options:

-Drop them at a gas station.  If they end up on the news later tonite about something happening to them, that's on your concience
-Bring them to York.  Show up 90 mins late to work, have to explain to all parties (wife/boss/etc) why

-Bring them to York, blow off work, 'see what happens'
-Something creative

I choose option D.  In the name of fun and holiday spirit I buy them an uber to York.  Limits your exposure, both personal and financial, limits their safety risk, and it's a story I am happy to share with my wife and friends later.

 
Since you are posting this question, that means you are still alive, which means you dropped them off at the gas station.  And, currently, you are furiously cranking down to "ebony threesome with white guy" videos in the bathroom at work. 

 
Last edited by a moderator:
Depends on your workplace/boss.  I could tell my boss* the absolute truth about why I was going to be 2 hours late.  He would say, "OK, cool.  Be careful and tell me all about it when you get back."  I understand not everyone has that luxury.  :D

*My boss is a buddy that I've known for ~35 years.

 
Last edited:
General Malaise said:
I didn't think we were supposed to use the word 'ghetto' anymore. :oldunsure:
Click to expand...
I use it and hear it used all the time, but it's usually about some half-assed DIY repair.   "Hey man, the way your taillight is held to your car with zip ties looks pretty ghetto."

 
This is a way better story than anything that could be called in the Red Dead Redemption II thread and you can take that to bank bromigo

 
As a married man I wouldn’t have stopped. As a single guy, York I go but first stop at the closest motel I could find, smoke crack and do 2 ladies at the same time. Duh!

 
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