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Onterrio Smith (1 Viewer)

The Reverend

Footballguy
The guy has all the tools to be a stud, except the brain.
Brain aside, it must be tough to play football with the prosthetic penis strapped on... "The $150 device includes a prosthetic penis attached to a jockstrap and plastic bag. Using a syringe, the user fills the bag with a precisely measured amount of water blended with the urine powder to create a clean sample. When the user takes a drug test in front of an observer, the water is released through the prosthetic with a valve (the instructions recommend the user cough to hide the sound of the valve unsnapping).

On its website, manufacturers of The Original Whizzinator market the instrument as an "undetectable,"foolproof" and "re-usable" urinating device"

 

Tyrion

Footballguy
The guy has all the tools to be a stud, except the brain.
Brain aside, it must be tough to play football with the prosthetic penis strapped on... "The $150 device includes a prosthetic penis attached to a jockstrap and plastic bag. Using a syringe, the user fills the bag with a precisely measured amount of water blended with the urine powder to create a clean sample. When the user takes a drug test in front of an observer, the water is released through the prosthetic with a valve (the instructions recommend the user cough to hide the sound of the valve unsnapping).

On its website, manufacturers of The Original Whizzinator market the instrument as an "undetectable,"foolproof" and "re-usable" urinating device"
Well football implications aside I have to say that I feel much safer knowing that potential terrorists will have trouble sneaking a tube of toothpaste or a fake penis past airport security. Way to go guys! :popcorn:
 

Ozymandias

Footballguy
The guy has all the tools to be a stud, except the brain.
Brain aside, it must be tough to play football with the prosthetic penis strapped on... "The $150 device includes a prosthetic penis attached to a jockstrap and plastic bag. Using a syringe, the user fills the bag with a precisely measured amount of water blended with the urine powder to create a clean sample. When the user takes a drug test in front of an observer, the water is released through the prosthetic with a valve (the instructions recommend the user cough to hide the sound of the valve unsnapping).

On its website, manufacturers of The Original Whizzinator market the instrument as an "undetectable,"foolproof" and "re-usable" urinating device"
Well football implications aside I have to say that I feel much safer knowing that potential terrorists will have trouble sneaking a tube of toothpaste or a fake penis past airport security. Way to go guys! :popcorn:
You may need a replacement penis for the 72 virgins.
 

FunkyPlutos

Footballguy
I read a rumor on another site that he had failed a test again, hence the drafting of Fason. Don't know if this adds any credence to that rumor but I'd say his days are numbered (sorry Switz)

 

packersfan

Footballguy
Mewelde Moore's stock just took a BIG jump up. This could shape up to be a two-horse race in camp between Bennett and Moore and given Bennett's injury history that puts Moore in a very favorable position. Fason's a darkhorse and given Tice's inability in the past to pick one RB and stick with him, Fason could end up getting a shot to start at some point during the season too. As far as SOD, I've said before that it was clear to me Tice lost confidence in Smith late last season and that's why Smith was benched. Given this new development, it's going to be very tough for Tice to place any confidence in Smith as his starting RB. I don't know how you can.

 

Warhogs

Footballguy
If I was an Onterrio Smith owner I would be very worried. He appears to not be able to put football ahead of illegal substances. I have seen enough warning signs to avoid him like the plague.

 

Funkley

Collar: Up
Where are all of the "the Vikings don't need another rb" people now? Obvious from the time he failed his 2nd test that this guy can't be trusted.

 

Mr. Pink

Footballguy
:lmao: :P :lmao: What fun.With this latest development, I may just need to pay a little more attention to the Minny RB situation. Since I've been paying about zero attention to it lately, this isn't saying much. For all of the potential this team has to succeed in NFL standards, I see a potential fantasy trainwreck about to happen. I hope I'm wrong.
 

DaVinci

FairTaxguy
"Mr. Smith, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you passed your drug test. The bad news is you're pregnant." :excited:

 

Frank Black

Footballguy
Does anyone have a link to the precise NFL banned substances policy? I'd like to analyze the policy to see, among other things, whether an aiding or abetting fact pattern violates the policy.

 

Colin Dowling

Footballguy
This is now a two horse race between Moore and Faison.
Agree 100%. I've been a champion of Bennett for some time, but he has done nothing in the last couple seasons to show he is a "2/3 of the touches" kind of guy.Colin

 

Joseph

Footballguy
Does anyone have a link to the precise NFL banned substances policy? I'd like to analyze the policy to see, among other things, whether an aiding or abetting fact pattern violates the policy.
http://nflpa.org/Members/main.asp?subPage=Drug+PolicyOR

http://nflpa.org/Members/main.asp?subPage=CBA+Complete
The part that applies would appear to be:
II. Discipline for Violation of Law Related to Substances of Abuse Other Than Alcohol

A. Additional Commissioner Discipline.

Apart from and in addition to any other provisions of this Policy, players convicted of or admitting to a violation of law (including, within the context of a diversionary program, deferred adjudication, disposition of supervision, or similar arrangement including but not limited to nolo contendere) relating to use, possession, acquisition, sale, or distribution of substances of abuse other than alcohol, or conspiring to do so, are subject to appropriate discipline as determined by the Commissioner. Where appropriate, such discipline may include substantially longer suspensions than those set forth below.

B. Discipline for Violations of the Law.

A player will normally be subject to discipline up to and including suspension without pay for four regular and/or post-season games for a first violation of the law related to substances of abuse other than alcohol and for six regular and/or post-season games for a second violation of the law related to substances of abuse other than alcohol. A player's treatment history may be considered by the Commissioner in determining the appropriate degree of discipline. The suspension period may be extended if medically necessary, and, if extended, may involve mandatory treatment if required by the Medical Director.
I suppose it depends if Smith's having the whizzinator would constitute a "violation of law".Also...

D. Entrance Into the Intervention Stages

1. Entrance.

All NFL players shall be eligible for entrance into the Intervention Stages. Such eligibility will not be affected by termination or expiration of a player's contract subsequent to entry into the Intervention Stages. Players enter Stage One of the Intervention Program by a Positive Test, Behavior or Self-Referral more fully described as follows:

a. Positive Test. Urine or blood toxicology Tests that meet the concentration levels set forth in Article I, Section C.3.c.

b. Behavior. Behavior, including but not limited to a substance abuse-related arrest, which, in the judgment of the Medical Director, exhibits physical, behavioral, or psychological signs or symptoms of substance abuse.
It looks like this might qualify under the "behavior" portion, as it seems the league has some leeway in how they want to treat this under the agreement. I would imagine if they want to make an example of Smith, they will be able to. Frankly, I'm not sure why they wouldn't want to make an example of him. If it becomes known that they will tolerate the "whizzinator" and other such methods of beating their testing procedures, the testing policy will be a joke.

 

goonsquad

Think different.
This is now a two horse race between Moore and Faison.
As a M. Moore owner, I'd love to believe that's the case. But until Bennett is officially injured, traded, cut or benched, I have to think he still has the inside track on the starting job. Or at least part of it in a RBBC.
 

jcjets

Footballguy
Talk about denial, Coach - ”Onterrio, I think you may have a drug problem”.SOD - “No not me coach” Coach - “What’s that you’re carrying around?”SOD - “That’s my drug masking kit”<Pause>Coach – “Need any superbowl tickets?”

 

reg

Mod in training
Talk about denial,

Coach - ”Onterrio, I think you may have a drug problem”.

SOD - “No not me coach”

Coach - “What’s that you’re carrying around?”

SOD - “That’s my drug masking kit”

<Pause>

Coach – “Give me your SuperBowl tickets or I will turn you in.”
Fixed. :)
 

larz

Footballguy
Does the Whizzinator come in a variety of colors and sizes? Shame the guy can't clean up his act and enjoy the privilege of being an nfl player. Superstars aside, in most cases, there's always someone right behind you who is ready to take your job. O is letting his career go up in smoke.

 

Aussie Cowboy

Footballguy
Talk about denial,

Coach - ”Onterrio, I think you may have a drug problem”.

SOD - “No not me coach”

Coach - “What’s that you’re carrying around?”

SOD - “That’s my drug masking kit”

<Pause>

Coach – “Give me your SuperBowl tickets or I will turn you in.”
Fixed. :)
:lmao:
 

Bob Magaw

Footballguy
smith got caught with the whizz-n-ator because there were some problems with the other latest product from that company... the cog-i-tater strap on brain. it was supposed to augment his brain. but it was just a potato head.

 

Joseph

Footballguy
smith got caught with the whizz-n-ator because there were some problems with the other latest product from that company... the cog-i-tater strap on brain. it was supposed to augment his brain. but it was just a potato head.
So they were promising it would triple brain activity and it only doubled it?
 

Bull Dozier

Footballguy
This is now a two horse race between Moore and Faison.
As a M. Moore owner, I'd love to believe that's the case. But until Bennett is officially injured, traded, cut or benched, I have to think he still has the inside track on the starting job. Or at least part of it in a RBBC.
This situation is starting to remind me of Terrell Davis' last days in Denver. Everyone in the world knew Davis wasn't going to be what he was, but due to loyalty, or unworldy optimism, Shanahan backed him to the very last minute, annointing him the starter anytime he could get near the field.I think it is obvious to most observers that Bennett is far from a complete back, and Moore (and probably Fason) have more potential to become a better all around back than Bennett ever was. But, in Tice, you have a guy is looks to be backing his guy until someone rips the lineup card from his cold dead hand.

 

goonsquad

Think different.
I think it is obvious to most observers that Bennett is far from a complete back, and Moore (and probably Fason) have more potential to become a better all around back than Bennett ever was. But, in Tice, you have a guy is looks to be backing his guy until someone rips the lineup card from his cold dead hand.
Agree 100%. That's what scares me.
 

Dirk Digler

Footballguy
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THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH!A HAPPY CLIENT L.G., MA --------------------------------------------------------------------------------Best Thing Out There, Dont Be Fooled By Those Drinks This Works EverytimeThe Eggfella, CA --------------------------------------------------------------------------------I think this is disgusting!!!NY -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Excellent product and very good businessmanship. Will definetly recommend to others. Finally freedom!discorat, TN-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- my husband could not pass a drug test to get a decent paying job because we smoke a little to relax. Now he has a job and together we make enough to have a comfortable life. To all of you who think people should stop doing everything they do. Everytime you take one of those doctor prescribed pain pills or nerve pills when you know in your mind it's just to feel a little better or drink your beer or wine to relax it is the same only marijuana grows naturally and the bible even gives us all the plants of the earth so who are you and who is the government to say it is bad when even God doesn't and if it was legal to grow more people would be eating it instead of smoking it which would take away most if not all negative aspects. It is not your buisiness which plants I choose to grow or ingest or burn and the quality of our lives should not suffer because the beliefs of some differ from ours. Some of the nicest most intelligent people you know may smoke. Anyway thanks for th! is product Thanks For helping us keep one more freedomLiving a Better Life in Communist, -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- GOD BLESS THE WHIZZINATOR! It no ones f*cking business (especially not the U.S Corporate Government) what you do on your own time,as long as you're not hurting anybody,and it's good to know that their are people out there(like puck tech)to help people stand up for their basic right to personal freedom. Thanks!USA -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- WHY THE HELL do the labs that collect these UA's need YOUR SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER?? Seems strange, just look at my ID and verify it's really me and let me Pee. Or should I say take a WHIZZ. This product worked great, I was able to get a great job thanks to the whizz and a square friend that doesn't smoke. Since pre-employment UA's are not supervised, the Female version works gerat for men and women. PROTECT YOUR PRIVACY!!! Beat them at this game with the WHIZZINATOR.Thank you KINDly.... Chris646, AZ --------------------------------------------------------------------------------This product saved my ###! I was skeptical but i passed my test and now i have a promising career! Thanx 4 everything guys!Dave, CA --------------------------------------------------------------------------------I was sweating it out on the day of my Drug screening test at a big company....but the Whizzinator came through big time and i was toking it up before and after the screening ;)Kevdog, GA -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I have just used my whizzinator for the first time. Their was even a mirror in the bathroom were the U.A.'s take place so that he could watch me directly. I wipped that bad boy (whizzinator) out and made sure that he could see it clear as day. I passed with flying colors thanks to the WHIZZINATOR! A wonderful product indeed! TJ, IA ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ I just want the feedom to smoke a joint every once in a while. How can that make me a worthless drug addict? I can't believe people are against us getting back the freedoms that were taken from us. It shouldn't matter if your taking medication as long as you do your job well. What I do on the weekend is my own GOD **** business!! And F*** you stupid people that don't agree. I think all you should burn in hell after I beat you to death! Have a nice day.good citizen, IL-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Whizzinator rocks!!!!!!!!!!!!!keep on smoking!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, AZ -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- This thing is wonderful! I was nervous at first but it worked without a hitch and definetly saved me in more ways then one.Nathan M., WA-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- it actuall worked for me after trying bull**** everywhere else like the tommychong hair shampoo.....What A Joke!!!Detective smoke's pot!, SC--------------------------------------------------------------------------------I owe you gods more than words can say. This has given me a second chance to not be so complacent.Excellent product, second to none.Shockshrek, CA -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- God Bless all of ya'll.I was about to have to dry out as nothing else worked(nor I as a result).Now I got a better job and pay than ever before.All my thanks for enabling me to keep my lifestyle as well as my family. Ya'll were the answer to a prayer.Texas Bud, TX ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Land of the free and the home of the brave? Land of slaves and the home of the cowards more accurately. You let employers take your rights away like this? You submit to the indignity of allowing some stranger watch you urinate on a regular basis and then you call yourselves free? You are cattle.Free UK -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I wanted to thank you guys for helping me pass my test.this device is one of the greatest things I ever used to pass a drug test.you guys are awsom you guys saved my life, Thank you satisfy k.onek.one from l.a., CA -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hey, you guys messed up and sent me the big black whizzinator and got me kicked out of the KKK. But Earlene shore did scream when I did her last night! Yee Haw! Thanks whizzinator, you bunch of race mixing rubber ding dong makers!Billy Bob Earl Elmer Jones, AR -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- guess you guys are into stress relief....that's cool...I know how hard it must be to get a great job when you have to worry about what you do at HOME....great job keep up the R&D work and come up with some new stuff that will keep em' stumped!alwaysonphire, NC -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I see that you do not make the Italian version because you would have to charge double if you did.Angelo, DC -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- yo the whizzinator saved my ### on over 100 random ua's thanks puck!Juggalo420, MN
 

Andy Dufresne

Footballguy
This is now a two horse race between Moore and Faison.
As a M. Moore owner, I'd love to believe that's the case. But until Bennett is officially injured, traded, cut or benched, I have to think he still has the inside track on the starting job. Or at least part of it in a RBBC.
This situation is starting to remind me of Terrell Davis' last days in Denver. Everyone in the world knew Davis wasn't going to be what he was, but due to loyalty, or unworldy optimism, Shanahan backed him to the very last minute, annointing him the starter anytime he could get near the field.I think it is obvious to most observers that Bennett is far from a complete back, and Moore (and probably Fason) have more potential to become a better all around back than Bennett ever was. But, in Tice, you have a guy is looks to be backing his guy until someone rips the lineup card from his cold dead hand.
I think that philosophy ended when the focus of the offense changed (allegedly) during the offseason from one of speed to one of power. As much as Tice may have a loyalty to Bennett, drafting Faison is an ominous sign.When all is said and done, Bennett will be swept under the rug or shown the door. His game is built on speed. Something he has much less of after the leg injuries.

 

gump

Footballguy
the Female version works gerat for men and women.

:confused:

Thanks whizzinator, you bunch of race mixing rubber ding dong makers!

:loco:

I see that you do not make the Italian version because you would have to charge double if you did.

:X
 

reg

Mod in training
I'll bet Tice and Co. wish they had traded him away on draft day NOW... :D
The incident in question was 2 days before the draft. I am pretty sure they would have to disclose it, and no team would want any part in it on draft day. I would also guess any teams they were talking to beforehand are pretty happy they passed.

 

packersfan

Footballguy
When all is said and done, Bennett will be swept under the rug or shown the door. His game is built on speed. Something he has much less of after the leg injuries.
Ask the Packers if Bennett has slowed down at all. He looked explosive in the open field in their December matchup last season.Should Smith be booted or not given a realistic chance to win the starting job, I think this strengthens Bennett's chances to open camp as the starter since (in my opinion) he's the guy Tice would prefer to have as his starter. His actions the past two seasons speak to that. However, given Bennett's significant durability issues then Moore's stock shoots up if Smith is no longer in the picture with Fason a darkhorse.

If this could become a two-horse race of any kind, then the Minnesota backfield offers more fantasy appeal. But even with Smith out of the picture that opens the door for Fason to step in which just makes this a clusterf*** all over again. And don't forget Moe is still involved as a third-down RB and (more importantly) goal-line threat.

 

Righetti

Footballguy
SOD should have watching Playmakers where they just insert the "clean" urine with a catheter, although it sounds painful, it looked like a better way to get away with it and you cant get caught with a prosthetic at the airport screeners

 

Andy Dufresne

Footballguy
Ask the Packers if Bennett has slowed down at all. He looked explosive in the open field in their December matchup last season.
I don't remember the specifics, but a quick google search turned up that he rushed for 92 yards. Statistically, that's no big deal.And hey, it was against the Packers. :towelwave:

 

packersfan

Footballguy
Ask the Packers if Bennett has slowed down at all. He looked explosive in the open field in their December matchup last season.
I don't remember the specifics, but a quick google search turned up that he rushed for 92 yards. Statistically, that's no big deal.And hey, it was against the Packers. :towelwave:
Well I certainly can't argue about the last sentence. :D As far as the specifics, he averaged 5.4 YPC and had a 30-yard TD reception where he was just a blur down the sidelines. He certainly didn't appear to have lost any speed, that's for sure.

Again, questioning Bennett's ability to stay healthy is obviously legit. But I don't think his speed has been compromised in any way by his injuries the past two seasons.

 

Andy Dufresne

Footballguy
Again, questioning Bennett's ability to stay healthy is obviously legit. But I don't think his speed has been compromised in any way by his injuries the past two seasons.
It just seems that he's slower to the hole. (Maybe he got married? wa-wa-wa-wahhhhhh).Once he gets going he seems to be plenty fast, but that first burst seems lacking. Maybe I'm just imagining. :shrug:

 

coolnerd

Footballguy
I know from a former NFL player that you are watched while going to bathroom when you had to take one of these tests.I guess now with this Mr. Smith will be asked to strip alway down just to be sure what's his is actually his.

 

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