Brain aside, it must be tough to play football with the prosthetic penis strapped on... "The $150 device includes a prosthetic penis attached to a jockstrap and plastic bag. Using a syringe, the user fills the bag with a precisely measured amount of water blended with the urine powder to create a clean sample. When the user takes a drug test in front of an observer, the water is released through the prosthetic with a valve (the instructions recommend the user cough to hide the sound of the valve unsnapping).The guy has all the tools to be a stud, except the brain.
Well football implications aside I have to say that I feel much safer knowing that potential terrorists will have trouble sneaking a tube of toothpaste or a fake penis past airport security. Way to go guys!Brain aside, it must be tough to play football with the prosthetic penis strapped on... "The $150 device includes a prosthetic penis attached to a jockstrap and plastic bag. Using a syringe, the user fills the bag with a precisely measured amount of water blended with the urine powder to create a clean sample. When the user takes a drug test in front of an observer, the water is released through the prosthetic with a valve (the instructions recommend the user cough to hide the sound of the valve unsnapping).The guy has all the tools to be a stud, except the brain.
On its website, manufacturers of The Original Whizzinator market the instrument as an "undetectable,"foolproof" and "re-usable" urinating device"
You may need a replacement penis for the 72 virgins.Well football implications aside I have to say that I feel much safer knowing that potential terrorists will have trouble sneaking a tube of toothpaste or a fake penis past airport security. Way to go guys!Brain aside, it must be tough to play football with the prosthetic penis strapped on... "The $150 device includes a prosthetic penis attached to a jockstrap and plastic bag. Using a syringe, the user fills the bag with a precisely measured amount of water blended with the urine powder to create a clean sample. When the user takes a drug test in front of an observer, the water is released through the prosthetic with a valve (the instructions recommend the user cough to hide the sound of the valve unsnapping).The guy has all the tools to be a stud, except the brain.
On its website, manufacturers of The Original Whizzinator market the instrument as an "undetectable,"foolproof" and "re-usable" urinating device"
I take it you are pissed.This is an outrage I tell you! An outrage!
O. Smitty don't play those games.He should have just bit the bullet and told them it was a sex toy
Has NFL.com banned "The Whizz" personalized Vikings jerseys yet?
http://nflpa.org/Members/main.asp?subPage=Drug+PolicyORDoes anyone have a link to the precise NFL banned substances policy? I'd like to analyze the policy to see, among other things, whether an aiding or abetting fact pattern violates the policy.
Don't you mean Mewelde Moore........BRAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!
YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Go Bennett!!!!!!!!!!!
The last line of the article, classic!Barring another suspension, Smith is expected to compete with Michael Bennett and Mewelde Moore for the starting job.
Agree 100%. I've been a champion of Bennett for some time, but he has done nothing in the last couple seasons to show he is a "2/3 of the touches" kind of guy.ColinThis is now a two horse race between Moore and Faison.
The part that applies would appear to be:http://nflpa.org/Members/main.asp?subPage=Drug+PolicyORDoes anyone have a link to the precise NFL banned substances policy? I'd like to analyze the policy to see, among other things, whether an aiding or abetting fact pattern violates the policy.
http://nflpa.org/Members/main.asp?subPage=CBA+Complete
I suppose it depends if Smith's having the whizzinator would constitute a "violation of law".Also...II. Discipline for Violation of Law Related to Substances of Abuse Other Than Alcohol
A. Additional Commissioner Discipline.
Apart from and in addition to any other provisions of this Policy, players convicted of or admitting to a violation of law (including, within the context of a diversionary program, deferred adjudication, disposition of supervision, or similar arrangement including but not limited to nolo contendere) relating to use, possession, acquisition, sale, or distribution of substances of abuse other than alcohol, or conspiring to do so, are subject to appropriate discipline as determined by the Commissioner. Where appropriate, such discipline may include substantially longer suspensions than those set forth below.
B. Discipline for Violations of the Law.
A player will normally be subject to discipline up to and including suspension without pay for four regular and/or post-season games for a first violation of the law related to substances of abuse other than alcohol and for six regular and/or post-season games for a second violation of the law related to substances of abuse other than alcohol. A player's treatment history may be considered by the Commissioner in determining the appropriate degree of discipline. The suspension period may be extended if medically necessary, and, if extended, may involve mandatory treatment if required by the Medical Director.
It looks like this might qualify under the "behavior" portion, as it seems the league has some leeway in how they want to treat this under the agreement. I would imagine if they want to make an example of Smith, they will be able to. Frankly, I'm not sure why they wouldn't want to make an example of him. If it becomes known that they will tolerate the "whizzinator" and other such methods of beating their testing procedures, the testing policy will be a joke.D. Entrance Into the Intervention Stages
1. Entrance.
All NFL players shall be eligible for entrance into the Intervention Stages. Such eligibility will not be affected by termination or expiration of a player's contract subsequent to entry into the Intervention Stages. Players enter Stage One of the Intervention Program by a Positive Test, Behavior or Self-Referral more fully described as follows:
a. Positive Test. Urine or blood toxicology Tests that meet the concentration levels set forth in Article I, Section C.3.c.
b. Behavior. Behavior, including but not limited to a substance abuse-related arrest, which, in the judgment of the Medical Director, exhibits physical, behavioral, or psychological signs or symptoms of substance abuse.
As a M. Moore owner, I'd love to believe that's the case. But until Bennett is officially injured, traded, cut or benched, I have to think he still has the inside track on the starting job. Or at least part of it in a RBBC.This is now a two horse race between Moore and Faison.
Fixed.Talk about denial,
Coach - ”Onterrio, I think you may have a drug problem”.
SOD - “No not me coach”
Coach - “What’s that you’re carrying around?”
SOD - “That’s my drug masking kit”
<Pause>
Coach – “Give me your SuperBowl tickets or I will turn you in.”
Fixed.Talk about denial,
Coach - ”Onterrio, I think you may have a drug problem”.
SOD - “No not me coach”
Coach - “What’s that you’re carrying around?”
SOD - “That’s my drug masking kit”
<Pause>
Coach – “Give me your SuperBowl tickets or I will turn you in.”
So they were promising it would triple brain activity and it only doubled it?smith got caught with the whizz-n-ator because there were some problems with the other latest product from that company... the cog-i-tater strap on brain. it was supposed to augment his brain. but it was just a potato head.
This situation is starting to remind me of Terrell Davis' last days in Denver. Everyone in the world knew Davis wasn't going to be what he was, but due to loyalty, or unworldy optimism, Shanahan backed him to the very last minute, annointing him the starter anytime he could get near the field.I think it is obvious to most observers that Bennett is far from a complete back, and Moore (and probably Fason) have more potential to become a better all around back than Bennett ever was. But, in Tice, you have a guy is looks to be backing his guy until someone rips the lineup card from his cold dead hand.As a M. Moore owner, I'd love to believe that's the case. But until Bennett is officially injured, traded, cut or benched, I have to think he still has the inside track on the starting job. Or at least part of it in a RBBC.This is now a two horse race between Moore and Faison.
Agree 100%. That's what scares me.I think it is obvious to most observers that Bennett is far from a complete back, and Moore (and probably Fason) have more potential to become a better all around back than Bennett ever was. But, in Tice, you have a guy is looks to be backing his guy until someone rips the lineup card from his cold dead hand.
I think that philosophy ended when the focus of the offense changed (allegedly) during the offseason from one of speed to one of power. As much as Tice may have a loyalty to Bennett, drafting Faison is an ominous sign.When all is said and done, Bennett will be swept under the rug or shown the door. His game is built on speed. Something he has much less of after the leg injuries.This situation is starting to remind me of Terrell Davis' last days in Denver. Everyone in the world knew Davis wasn't going to be what he was, but due to loyalty, or unworldy optimism, Shanahan backed him to the very last minute, annointing him the starter anytime he could get near the field.I think it is obvious to most observers that Bennett is far from a complete back, and Moore (and probably Fason) have more potential to become a better all around back than Bennett ever was. But, in Tice, you have a guy is looks to be backing his guy until someone rips the lineup card from his cold dead hand.As a M. Moore owner, I'd love to believe that's the case. But until Bennett is officially injured, traded, cut or benched, I have to think he still has the inside track on the starting job. Or at least part of it in a RBBC.This is now a two horse race between Moore and Faison.
the Female version works gerat for men and women.
Thanks whizzinator, you bunch of race mixing rubber ding dong makers!
I see that you do not make the Italian version because you would have to charge double if you did.
:X
The incident in question was 2 days before the draft. I am pretty sure they would have to disclose it, and no team would want any part in it on draft day. I would also guess any teams they were talking to beforehand are pretty happy they passed.I'll bet Tice and Co. wish they had traded him away on draft day NOW...
Ask the Packers if Bennett has slowed down at all. He looked explosive in the open field in their December matchup last season.Should Smith be booted or not given a realistic chance to win the starting job, I think this strengthens Bennett's chances to open camp as the starter since (in my opinion) he's the guy Tice would prefer to have as his starter. His actions the past two seasons speak to that. However, given Bennett's significant durability issues then Moore's stock shoots up if Smith is no longer in the picture with Fason a darkhorse.When all is said and done, Bennett will be swept under the rug or shown the door. His game is built on speed. Something he has much less of after the leg injuries.
I don't remember the specifics, but a quick google search turned up that he rushed for 92 yards. Statistically, that's no big deal.And hey, it was against the Packers.Ask the Packers if Bennett has slowed down at all. He looked explosive in the open field in their December matchup last season.
Well I certainly can't argue about the last sentence. As far as the specifics, he averaged 5.4 YPC and had a 30-yard TD reception where he was just a blur down the sidelines. He certainly didn't appear to have lost any speed, that's for sure.I don't remember the specifics, but a quick google search turned up that he rushed for 92 yards. Statistically, that's no big deal.And hey, it was against the Packers.Ask the Packers if Bennett has slowed down at all. He looked explosive in the open field in their December matchup last season.
It just seems that he's slower to the hole. (Maybe he got married? wa-wa-wa-wahhhhhh).Once he gets going he seems to be plenty fast, but that first burst seems lacking. Maybe I'm just imagining.Again, questioning Bennett's ability to stay healthy is obviously legit. But I don't think his speed has been compromised in any way by his injuries the past two seasons.