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Professional persona vs personal persona - do you consciously "put on" a professional face at work? (1 Viewer)

adonis

adonis

Footballguy
I'll try to keep this brief.

I've always been a good worker, every evaluation I've done very well.  I have a lot of good experience and at my last job, I was promoted to a manager level and given more responsibility than I really should have been, and about 5 people to manage in addition to reporting to the executive team.  It was a smaller org and while I did OK, there was a lot I could've done better.

One area I think I lacked in was putting on a professional "persona"/"face" in the manager position.  I feel inherently uncomfortable putting on airs of authority, being in power over folks so I had a managerial style that was very team based, where we all worked together closely, which in retrospect seems to have been a mistake preventing a certain distance between management and direct reports.  But that was part of the point for me, because I'm inherently uncomfortable with that authority.

But now I'm at another position where I'm in a similar position.  My work experience and skills keep pushing me upward in the seniority scale, and with that comes a different expectation of authority of how you carry yourself in professional settings.  I'm not saying folks aren't to be themselves, but they're expected as far as I can tell to step up their confidence levels in what they're doing, project competence, authority, power, and that they know what's what.  I'm struggling with this because I know it's likely required to go to the next level in career (senior level jobs) but I didn't have the example in the home of this, and it goes against my personality which is more comfortable with a more flat org chart.

So, apparently I lied about being brief, but my impression is that many others tacitly or explicitly will admit that they put on a "work personality" in certain situations.  The better they are, the less unlike their normal selves this personality is...but I'm curious what fellow FBG's think about this.  

Is this something you consciously put on every day?  Did you have to work at it?  Anyone else relate to being uncomfortable taking on authority and have any examples of how they dealt with it?

And just to be clear, I'm not talking about "being fake", but more of a projection of a certain sense of self rather than a complete fabrication of qualities that are lacking.

Thoughts?

 
I never make **** jokes at work, or around my family, but do all the time with my friends or brother.  

One of my kids heard me swear once (on the phone with my brother), that's it (oldest is 16).

So, I guess I have a different face I put on at work, but it's just the way things should be - I don't want to act in a way that makes anyone uncomfortable, so I keep things close to the vest and make the occasional dad or Monday joke.

Regarding advancement, unless you need more money, if you're happy in your job, why look to advance to something you don't care for?  I'm an engineer, and I've resisted chances to be a supervisor because I don't want that.  I look for technical lead positions, and have manged to keep working my way up for 20 years, but I know I'll hit a ceiling soon... that's fine, I still don't want to be a supervisor, so I'll stall.  They already pay me enough, so that's fine.

 
One thing to watch out for if you're a supervisor is that your relationships do have to change.  You can't invite your buddy who now works for you out to lunch without the rest of the team, or it looks like favoritism.  It's kind of isolating.

 
I work in a restaurant with 3 women. As with every restaurant in America, these are foul-mouthed, inappropriate women. The things that are said in my workplace would make all your HR departments flip out, I'm sure. Then, you've got the customers, who are just as inappropriate.  In that context, I try to keep things as "professional" as I can. 

In our work, "professional" means focused and everyone pulling in the same direction. I'm always trying to make sure I set that tone. I take the challenges we have ahead for us each do quite seriously. By any measure, I'm quite a bore most of the time while at work. In some ways, I need to get better at that. There is some value in the customers getting to know you. I do that where I can, but there's just no time. I think they've come to understand that I'd like to get to know them more, but I have no time for lolly-gagging. We can chat while I work. That tone has set in with the rest of the staff, mostly to the level I'm hoping for, though lolly-gagging will likely never be completely eliminated. We aren't your typical definition of professional, but there's a job to be done every day, and the staff is going to be busting their ### to get it done. That's professionalism for us.

Speaking of my terrible brand of professionalism. One Friday night a few months back, one of the women on the staff stopped by my house for a few beers with me and the wife. That damn woman had the nerve to call out Saturday morning because she had a hangover. My professional side made sure not to tell the rest of the staff that it was my beer she was drinking the night before. 

 
Tick said:
One thing to watch out for if you're a supervisor is that your relationships do have to change.  You can't invite your buddy who now works for you out to lunch without the rest of the team, or it looks like favoritism.  It's kind of isolating.
Click to expand...
Yes it is.  

 
Work me is a toned down, reserved version of home me.  I've long held the belief of keeping a separation between work and home life because the two worlds don't operate under the same rules.  Allowing the two portions of your life to interact opens up the door for unnecessary drama.  I have work friends and we do happy hours occasionally, but only a couple have ever made it past the wall and into my *life*.  Similarly, I refuse to work with immediate family members.

 
Very rarely - I only do it when we have a big support issue and on a call with several off-shore team members.  Basically have to take charge and at times act like an ####### to get stuff done.  I hate it, and use it as a last resort but sometimes it ends up being necessary.

 
I cringe every time I am “feeling fantastic”, am “so excited to share with you” or “have great passion”.  Just.  Not.  Me.

 
My career is a different persona entirely.  I wouldn't have it if I didn't have to.  It is a game I play.

Few and far between have been the true (personal) relationships built in my career.  Lots of great business relationships, not many I would care to have otherwise.

 
I don't think you need a different persona but you do need to have good communication.  You can empower your direct reports by getting input and asking for their suggestions but you need to be clear that the final decisions rest with you.  You don't need to change your personality you just need to be clear that some decisions are going to be yours. 

Empowering your employees will help you as a supervisor.  Good communication and clear directions/expectations are very important.  You can have that without changing who you are.

As someone else said above, if that isn't what you like or don't want that responsibility because you are uncomfortable with it then it isn't worth taking on those things.  It will only make you miserable and you won't do a quality job because you aren't comfortable doing it.

If you have to change to do something then you probably shouldn't do it.

 
I can take charge at a meeting and am not afraid to cut the bs that may occur when a sidetrack develops and am able to refocus the meeting but I still allow everyone involved to feel as though their contribution matters.  The attendees are typically folks I've worked with, and sometimes for, for a number of years and they tend to be mature professionals who understand that this isnt a buddy system and so long as it's not abused I let a certain amount of free flow to happen.

Off hours, I can hang like a champ and will cuss. drink and putz around with the best of them, particularly with my brothers.

 
That one guy said:
Work me is a toned down, reserved version of home me.  I've long held the belief of keeping a separation between work and home life because the two worlds don't operate under the same rules.  Allowing the two portions of your life to interact opens up the door for unnecessary drama.  I have work friends and we do happy hours occasionally, but only a couple have ever made it past the wall and into my *life*.  Similarly, I refuse to work with immediate family members.
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I think this is pretty much exactly where I'm at.  Basically the same personality in general, less vulgar, refuse to discuss divisive topics like politics, religion, etc.  I'm always up for a happy hour here and there, and my wife and I go to our various firm events, but for the most part there is a complete separation between my personal life and work life.  I don't really talk to my coworkers about their personal lives, their kids, their vacations, their dating habits, etc., and I think they get the hint that I don't want to talk about mine.  I think if you were to poll my coworkers, most of them would say that they know extremely little about me outside of the office.  I prefer it that way.

 
I'm more formal/less jokey with clients, but otherwise same person in office relative to home. 

That said, if I'm somewhere new workwise, I am more reserved until I get to know the people there better. Same holds true for how I am with vendors and consultants.

 
I am definitely two different people at work vs at home although I wouldn't say it's a conscious thing anymore.  It was when I first got into management but now it's just business me.

 
Yes, but not consciously for the most part.  I first realized it in college when I did a phone interview for an internship.  My roommate and a buddy came in my room mid way through.  After I got off the phone, one of them said "wow, you can really be professional when you want to."  I didn't realize I was really changing my persona, but apparently I was.

At work these days the main difference I notice is that I don't instantly go off on people when they do stupid stuff.  I know others do, and they are generally hated.  While I don't really care if people like me, I don't need to go out of my way to make people hate me.  Plus, people, even when they make mistakes, still deserve professional respect.

 
El Floppo said:
I'm more formal/less jokey with clients, but otherwise same person in office relative to home. 

That said, if I'm somewhere new workwise, I am more reserved until I get to know the people there better. Same holds true for how I am with vendors and consultants.
Click to expand...
That's pretty much me as well. At work I am more reserved initially in a new environment or with new people but even once I get comfortable, I still don't get to the level that I am at home or with my friends. 

 
Tick said:
One thing to watch out for if you're a supervisor is that your relationships do have to change.  You can't invite your buddy who now works for you out to lunch without the rest of the team, or it looks like favoritism.  It's kind of isolating.
Click to expand...
Agreed and it sucks sometimes 

 
I'm sure this doesn't help much but, 

You can't be fake with your co-workers or your subordinates because they will see right through you. You must be professional though. 

 
I have a different persona at work but I don't consider it fake- just a different side of me.  It's not a 180 or anything but I'm much friendlier.  more positive at work and give off the image of someone that stays out of trouble. It's not anything I think about, it's just how I feel there. 

 
I’m pretty professional. I banged a coworker over the weekend and then acted like it didn’t happen when she came into my office on Monday. I didn’t even flinch when she started weeping. 

 
Interesting replies, thanks.

Some folks don't change, others feel they do have a different work personality/face than otherwise.

I'd be curious to hear from those who do have a different work face, what are the qualities that are different between the two, and is there a conscious decision on each of those levels to be different?

 
If you need to put on an air of authority, drink coffee while hovering over people at their desk, like Lumberg.  Ask them to come in Saturday to really assert your dominance.

 
cockroach said:
If you need to put on an air of authority, drink coffee while hovering over people at their desk, like Lumberg.  Ask them to come in Saturday to really assert your dominance.
Click to expand...
Putting this on my business card was my first idea.  I think yours is marginally safer.

 
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