Questionable Coaching Choices after Boys' Soccer Game last Weekend (1 Viewer)

[dickey moe]

So my son played in the local AYSO 10U league this past season. His team was mediocre during the regular season, but then they caught fire during the tournament last weekend and won four games in a row to make it to the finals (they were defeated, but that's besides the point). Everyone was of course really proud that they made it that far. Their team was coached by a duo of guys who are good friends with one another and did an overall great job coaching the team throughout the season. After the game, the team members got their runner-up trophies and took a team photo in front of their goal. It was a cool moment where everyone (players and parents) was able to celebrate the culmination of the season. Then something kind of messed-up (IMO) happened...

The coaches whispered, "Hey guys, over here!" and gestured for the team members to join them in a circle. One of the coaches then proceeded to pull out a wad of $1 bills, which he mentioned he and the other coach compiled during the season as "their stash." The coached then asked the kids individually how many goals they scored during the season and proceeded to hand out $1/goal to each individual kid who had scored.

I was mortified. The coaches are super-competitive by nature but I was caught off-guard by this - it seemed really out of character. After the special moment of making it to the finals and everyone reveling in the accomplishment after the game, the coaches decided to monetize scoring success for 8 to 10 year old kids. I felt it sent a terrible message. What about the kids who volunteered (or were encouraged) to play goalie and/or defense? Were their contributions to the team's success any less meaningful? Some kids scored nearly 20 goals, and others didn't score any, with ranges in between. The looks of disappointment on the lower-scoring kids' faces (including my son - he mainly played defense) were heartbreaking. We have some friends and their son on the team and I said to them, "I don't like this at all" and I took my son and just left.

I wasn't jealous for my kid of the other kids receiving money, I just thought the whole idea was wrong. I tried to explain to my son that they had a great season and that I didn't agree with the coaches handing out money to players who scored goals (or for any reason) because everyone worked to make the team successful, it's not about money, etc., but he didn't really understand and didn't say much on the way home.

I haven't reached out to the coaches yet, but I'm thinking about it. Am I over-reacting to this? Have any of you seen this done (especially at the youth level)?

 

[rockaction]

Dude, you are not overreacting. That should never be done. I've never seen that, heard of that, or been witness to it.  

I don't know about reaching out, though. That I can't tell you about. I don't intimately traverse the world of children and adults and parenting, but I know that's out of freaking line.

eta* My personal take? I'd let it go and let it be a private lesson with your son with a teachable moment (yes, I know) and if it comes that he has to play for those guys again that maybe you bring it up to them as something you don't want to see happen.   

 

[needanap]

Dumb on coaches part and shows a complete lack of understanding the team aspect of soccer.  Maybe they just did not think it through, but I would be upset whether my kid was a forward or the goal keeper. Too bad the season ended on that note.  Coaches should both apologize to team and explain why they are apologizing.

 

[belljr]

Would have been fine if they found ways to give everyone some.  Like you had 10 great saves etc

 

[glvsav37]

As the father of a youth goalie (hockey not soccer) you would bet your ### I would have an issue with that.  I get scores are the easiest to track and identify but there are a bunch of other aspects that go undocumented in a game that can define if you played well or not. 

 

[rockaction]

I actually have to say I find the handing out of bills at 8-10 as generous, but completely reprehensible. This isn't even the NCAA we're talking about. You're talking about parenting and allowance here. 

It's not even the justice of the sport, it's the method of reward. 

 

[bigbottom]

I don’t think they understand how the game is played. 

 

[bigbottom]

Not to mention the fact that even where scoring is concerned, the actual scoring is often the easiest part of the play.  It’s the wingers or mids setting up the score by the striker that are doing the real work. 

 

[dickey moe]

Would have been fine if they found ways to give everyone some.  Like you had 10 great saves etc

I don't know - I wouldn't have been happy about this either. There was no need to bring money into any of this.

 

[Wrigley]

Hope they never plan on playing college ball

:violation:

 

[BassNBrew]

Next year will be fun when 11 kids are cherry picking all year. Not to mention that all of them just lost their ametuer status

 

[shadyridr]

As a little league manager I give out game balls after every game but do not do so during the playoffs. 

I wouldn't get too upset about it. I think they meant well. 

 

[BassNBrew]

Hope they never plan on playing college ball

:violation:

Unless it’s its Duke or NCState basketball then they are just getting a head start

 

[sublimeone]

I would feel like such a d*** passing over the kids with 0 goals. I bet they realized their error in hindsight. 

 

[CletiusMaximus]

Seems incredibly dumb, but I'd let it pass.  Its actually hard to believe they are otherwise good coaches, after hearing they did this.

One of my neighbors had a kid on his son's team whose wealthy (and stupid) dad had promised some outrageous financial award for each goal his son scored. The kid was slow, and mostly played defender or midfield.  Guess how often he passed the ball?  Nearly single-handedly destroyed the team shape when he was out there, which after a few games wasn't very often.

GL

 

[Chemical X]

i really wonder about peoples’ morals everywhere.  i mean, schools are apparently dating apps for teachers now.  i am no longe shocked at boorish behavior, it seems to be the norm now.

 

[touche']

Is there a league you can report them to?  They should be fired.

 

[belljr]

I don't know - I wouldn't have been happy about this either. There was no need to bring money into any of this.

Meh if everyone got 5 - 10 bucks not a huge deal. No different than helmet stickers, ice cream, etc etc BUT only if they included everyone and be sure to say how this was their treat for a great season or something.  I'm not saying it's the best idea but it's not something that is super terrible.  Now what they did was not right

We promised girls "cars" if they hit a home run over the fence.  2 girls hit one one year. And I bought them a team color hot wheels

 

[cheese]

I think it was dumb, but I’d let it go. 

 

[Mile High]

So my son played in the local AYSO 10U league this past season. His team was mediocre during the regular season, but then they caught fire during the tournament last weekend and won four games in a row to make it to the finals (they were defeated, but that's besides the point). Everyone was of course really proud that they made it that far. Their team was coached by a duo of guys who are good friends with one another and did an overall great job coaching the team throughout the season. After the game, the team members got their runner-up trophies and took a team photo in front of their goal. It was a cool moment where everyone (players and parents) was able to celebrate the culmination of the season. Then something kind of messed-up (IMO) happened...

The coaches whispered, "Hey guys, over here!" and gestured for the team members to join them in a circle. One of the coaches then proceeded to pull out a wad of $1 bills, which he mentioned he and the other coach compiled during the season as "their stash." The coached then asked the kids individually how many goals they scored during the season and proceeded to hand out $1/goal to each individual kid who had scored.

I was mortified. The coaches are super-competitive by nature but I was caught off-guard by this - it seemed really out of character. After the special moment of making it to the finals and everyone reveling in the accomplishment after the game, the coaches decided to monetize scoring success for 8 to 10 year old kids. I felt it sent a terrible message. What about the kids who volunteered (or were encouraged) to play goalie and/or defense? Were their contributions to the team's success any less meaningful? Some kids scored nearly 20 goals, and others didn't score any, with ranges in between. The looks of disappointment on the lower-scoring kids' faces (including my son - he mainly played defense) were heartbreaking. We have some friends and their son on the team and I said to them, "I don't like this at all" and I took my son and just left.

I wasn't jealous for my kid of the other kids receiving money, I just thought the whole idea was wrong. I tried to explain to my son that they had a great season and that I didn't agree with the coaches handing out money to players who scored goals (or for any reason) because everyone worked to make the team successful, it's not about money, etc., but he didn't really understand and didn't say much on the way home.

I haven't reached out to the coaches yet, but I'm thinking about it. Am I over-reacting to this? Have any of you seen this done (especially at the youth level)?

I would tell the coaches what you think.  Nothing wrong with voicing your opinion on this.

 

[OrtonToOlsen]

i really wonder about peoples’ morals everywhere.  i mean, schools are apparently dating apps for teachers now.  i am no longe shocked at boorish behavior, it seems to be the norm now.

Hate to break it to you but teacher scandals aren’t new...you just hear about them a lot more.

 

[OrtonToOlsen]

Coached and reffed AYSO for like 7 years.  This was really, really dumb and inappropriate.

At the very least I’d send the coach(es) an email.  Hell, do it anonymously if you want.

 

[Galileo]

This is absolutely outrageous!!  How could those coaches ever think this was a good thing?  They should be fired for such an egregious lapse in judgement.   Everyone knows the going rate is $2/goal.

 

[El Floppo]

Steak knives for you idiot assist makers. And a big FU through the public humiliation spanking machine to the defenders and goalies.

Seems like they're teaching a lesson here about winners.