Bluebonnet Express 75 mile Bike Ride/Race Report:
Events leading up to the Sunday race:
Friday: Started Happy Hour at 1:00 with a "friend"; set-up for a BBQ cookoff; took friend to dinner then took her back to BBQ area. Drank there while tending the pit 'til 2:00 am; took her home; got back to my place at 4:00 am; got up at 6:30 to get back to BBQ cook-off to help wrap briskits. Had donuts, coffee and rum for breakfast; cooked all day while sipping more rum (our BBQ team's name is "Pirates of the Pit"); watched friends win the freakin' cook-off; went with friends to our pool to drink/celebrate; went with a friend to "borrow" a fireman friend's truck; drove truck with lights and siren on around the neighborhood and got most of our neighbors to the pool wondering what the hell was going on; and got home at 9:00 pm to get everything ready for my Sunday race. I was in bed at 9:45, and asleep by 9:46, having had less than 3 hours sleep the previous day.
Getting Ready, Morning of the Race
Alarm went off at 5:30, and it felt like I had just went to bed. I went straight to the coffee to get things "moving" and ate a Clif Bar. Had a pretty good BM, then showered to get rid of the smokey smell from cooking all day. I was on the road by 6:10 and arrived at the race sight approx. 7:00.
Upon arrival, I realized
it was PERFECT conditions. It was 68 degrees, with winds from 3-5 MPH.
The 75 milers were scheduled to start at 8:00 so I figured I had plenty of time to get to the start (man was I wrong!). I got my bike ready, downed the last of my pre-race Gatorade, took the first of 3 pre-race pee's, and got to the line to register for the race. Holy #### the lines were long. I finally got my packet at 7:40 (lines were twice as long after I had my packet = some people were picking up packets until 8:30!!); went pee; decided not to try for a second BM; went and got my bike; posted "Go Time" on Facebook; went pee again; and headed toward the starting line at 7:55'ish. I was shocked I wasn't hearing any announcements, and was determined to force my way to the very start of the line to avoid missing any early breakaways. I kept riding and riding along the directional arrows, only to find out that there appeared to be NO start line or people at it.
GO TIME had started without me
The Race: Part I = Sanding Time & a ##### Bag!!
I had no clue where the start line was supposed to have been, or what time people had left. I likely went a full mile+ past the start line before knowing the race had started = my Garmin certainly wasn't started at the very start. Garmin turned on at 7:59 AM.
What I did know was that if I had ANY chance to catch those who had left, I'd better get my ### going. I typically expect to burn a couple matches early jockeying for position anyway so I felt a prolonged somewhat hard effort might not kill my day.
Approximately half a mile into when I started the Garmin, I ran into loooooooong lines of riders. They were strung along for God knows how long, traveling what appeared to be about 20.0 MPH for the most part. I knew I wasn't catching the leaders at 20.0, and felt I needed a 24.0 MPH effort or better to even have a prayer of sniffing the lead. With no wind and an extremely flat start to the course I clipped off the following starting miles and HR's:
1) 23.4 MPH 147 BPM (took me awhile to realize I needed to hammer it)
2) 23.0 MPH 154 BPM (included a stop light)
3) 24.8 and 162
4) 24.6 and 167
5) 24.7 and 168
6) 25.7 and 169
7) 24.4 and 168
8) 24.0 and 171 (roh, roh = getting toward danger)
At this point I was praying for a group to come up behind me. I felt I could keep this pace for another mile or two at max or I'd be screwed.
I also noticed that my Camel Back was dripping water off the spicket and I was losing precious water by the second
9) 25.6 and 169 (worked damn hard to catch a small group; drafted briefly; they were going 22.0 = f-that; on my own again)
10) 23.2 and 167
About half way through mile 10, while starting to struggle, a tri-bike appeared in my rear mirror. I slowed to let him pass my and grabbed his wheel. We traded pulls for the next 1.5 miles,
11) 23.2 and 152
12) 22.7
and 137 BPM 
(I felt my ride was saved as I was confident I could ride all day with him)
While I was pulling during mile 13, and passing a group of about 12, the #####-bag jumped onto the back of their pace line. F-that. I plundered ahead back on my own.
My feeling at this point was that I had just completed a hard 5k, and it was now time to settle in for a hard 3 hour run.
Race Part: II = Rejects and Wusses and No Heroes
I now realized the very small groups of people I was catching up to were the rejects off the back of the leaders pace line that was certainly not reachable at this point. These wusses were struggling along at 19 MPH or slower and the last thing I wanted was to pull their asses around all day. I still believed that a fast group had to be forming behind me, and that we could still chase down the peloton with the right help. I continuously looked in my little rear view mirror, only to see the wusses that I'd already passed.
Miles 12-23 were not very eventful. I kept my pace between 20.0 and 22.5 and my HR stayed between 155 and 165 with no spikes.
Miles 24-32 were mostly uphill with multiple rollers, and were back into the slight breeze. I decided I needed to keep some gas in the tank, so I cognitively took it easy here to save some energy. My HR dropped, even with the more difficult conditions as my pace dropped below 20.0 for much of this with my fasted mile being 20.7 and slowest being 16.9 (104 feet of elevation gain during this mile). My HR stayed between 145 and 155 during this stretch.
Miles 33 to 42 the course had some rollers, but was pretty flat to downhill. I caught up with a dude at mile 35 that was traveling at a decent speed, and told him to grab my wheel. I did a full mile pull, and pulled to the side to let him pass. He did almost a full mile pull and I thought yippity-skippity, I'm in business. I did a mile, he did .5 miles, I did a mile, he did .4 miles, I did a mile and he did .2 miles, I left him in the dust. Nasty crash at mile 41 that I pulled over for to see if everyone was alright; looked like more than a few broken bones and at least 4 bikers down
Miles 43 to 60 had lots of rollers and was mostly uphill. My pace was all over the place during this stretch as I averaged between 22.9 and 18.3 MPH, and 3 miles had 100 feet or more of elevation gain. I worked damn hard during mile 43, and my HR got up to 175 (max for the day), and thought I might be in trouble = time to throttle back a bit. Mile 45 had a nice descent and I grabbed the wheel of another group for .5 miles before going solo again, and my HR got back to 146 which was a huge boost! I took over after his .5 mile pull, and he also dropped off the back almost immediately. Back on my own.
Race Part III: 75 miles is a long way; hydration is important; and I'm a fidiot
Just before mile 60 I was out of water, and the 80 degrees of sunshine had me caked in my own salt. I was now in survival mode = just finish damnit! I truly did not want to stop at all, but was really worried without any water. I wanted to take one more Gu, but wanted to be able to wash it down. A group of kids had a Gatorade tub in the back of their parents' pick-up during mile 63, so I bit the bullet and pulled over to let them fill my single water bottle up with lime Gatorade

. Filling my Camelback was not an option.
Like a Fidiot I turned my Garmin off when I stopped to fill-up, and more like a Fidiot I didn't start it for approximately 3 miles
Miles 60-75 were mostly downhill which was much appreciated. My legs were tired, but surviving. There was some bad chip seal for a mile in there somewhere, and even worse was that those that did the 25, 35 and 45 mile routes all joined our path during this stretch = lots of really slow fat people on expensive bikes (I'm so glad they spent an extra $2,000 on their bike to make it 1.5 lbs. lighter than mine, while their bike had to carry an extra freaking 100 lbs. around).
The finish was pretty uneventful. I averaged between 19.8 and 22.4 during this stretch, depending on if the rollers were going up or down, while my HR was really steady between 160 and 171.
FINAL Stats and Impression
Garmin had me going 70.02 miles (missed first mile and approx. 3 with Garmin off; also turned off before the end as it was an utter cluster a mile before the finish).
Time: 3:20:07
Pace: 2:51/Mi or 21.0 MPH
Max Speed: 29.9
Total Calories: 4981
Avg HR: 158
Max HR: 175
Total Ascent: 2,996
I will DEFINITELY do this ride again. The ride was extremely scenic with multiple wild flowers and beautiful scenery. LOVED it. I was also surprised how well my HR did, and feel pretty confident heading into a summer of races.