Rotoworld "Man-Crush Index" (1 Viewer)

[tick dog]

Maybe I'm just becoming an irrational fan, but this has become my fave guilty fant football pleasure. Gives me a break from all the number-crunching and serious stuff. I mean, Jesus talking about dumpster babies . . . in a fantasy football column?!

RISERS

Kurt Warner: Being BFF with Jesus apparently pays off. Here's how I picture their conversation back in August as they hung by Kurt's pool in Tommy Bahama shirts, drinking Bud Light Limes:

Kurt: Say, JC, we're friends, right?

Jesus: Sure, man. Ever since I rescued you from the Piggly Wiggly.

Kurt: It was a Hy-Vee.

Jesus: Sorry. All those hillbilly supermarkets look the same to me. Live bait, Hostess snowballs, dumpster babies . . .

Kurt: Yeah, um, anyway . . . can you, in your infinite holy wisdom, bestow upon me one more favor that, in, um, your divine, glorious . . .

Jesus: Oh, for the love of Me, just say it . . .

Kurt: Can you make me Fantasy MVP again? Please?

Jesus: Oooh, sorry, no can do, K-Man. I already promised Brees Fantasy MVP . . . still feel bad about giving him that freaky birthmark. But how 'bout I give you a sweet playoff schedule against the Rams, Vikes and Pats, make you throw for like 4,700 yards and 35-40 TDs, and make Drew the only fantasy QB better than you? In a contract year, no less. Pretty sweet. Am I right or am I right?

Kurt: Amen! Oh, praise You! Hey, you think you can replace Brenda with one of the Olsen Twins? Or better yet . . .both?

Jesus: Perv.

full link....http://www.rotoworld.com/content/features/...articleid=31577

 

[OPS]

Yes, I read his column. In fact I just got done reading it and I saw your post. The guy is funny. I really enjoy his writing.

 

[tick dog]

Yes, I read his column. In fact I just got done reading it and I saw your post. The guy is funny. I really enjoy his writing. :(

Agreed. I do think the Warner and Jesus thing has gotten a bit played out, but at least this was a funny, little bit twisted take on it.

 

[tick dog]

Nice one from this week's...gotta say, for me this is reaching "refreshing the site to see if the latest column is up" status.

FALLERS

Philip Rivers: Granted, it was against PIT but the high-flying SD passing offense hit the skids last week, and they now face #9 IND (189 YPG). Couldn't happen to a nicer guy. Seriously, I've never seen a player more universally loathed by fans on message boards. Maybe it's that hateful punching bag face of his? Rivers looks like the kid in high school who took five-and-a-half years to graduate, knocked textbooks out of smaller kids' hands in the halls and did donuts in the student parking lot in his Nissan Maxima that had a "RIV MAN 17" vanity plate.

To quote Homer Simpson, "It's funny 'cause it's true." :rofl:

http://www.rotoworld.com/content/features/...articleid=31629