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Rotoworld "Man-Crush Index" (1 Viewer)

tick dog

Maybe I'm just becoming an irrational fan, but this has become my fave guilty fant football pleasure. Gives me a break from all the number-crunching and serious stuff. I mean, Jesus talking about dumpster babies . . . in a fantasy football column?! :goodposting: ;)


Kurt Warner: Being BFF with Jesus apparently pays off. Here's how I picture their conversation back in August as they hung by Kurt's pool in Tommy Bahama shirts, drinking Bud Light Limes:

Kurt: Say, JC, we're friends, right?

Jesus: Sure, man. Ever since I rescued you from the Piggly Wiggly.

Kurt: It was a Hy-Vee.

Jesus: Sorry. All those hillbilly supermarkets look the same to me. Live bait, Hostess snowballs, dumpster babies . . .

Kurt: Yeah, um, anyway . . . can you, in your infinite holy wisdom, bestow upon me one more favor that, in, um, your divine, glorious . . .

Jesus: Oh, for the love of Me, just say it . . .

Kurt: Can you make me Fantasy MVP again? Please?

Jesus: Oooh, sorry, no can do, K-Man. I already promised Brees Fantasy MVP . . . still feel bad about giving him that freaky birthmark. But how 'bout I give you a sweet playoff schedule against the Rams, Vikes and Pats, make you throw for like 4,700 yards and 35-40 TDs, and make Drew the only fantasy QB better than you? In a contract year, no less. Pretty sweet. Am I right or am I right?

Kurt: Amen! Oh, praise You! Hey, you think you can replace Brenda with one of the Olsen Twins? Or better yet . . .both?

Jesus: Perv.

full link....http://www.rotoworld.com/content/features/...articleid=31577

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Yes, I read his column. In fact I just got done reading it and I saw your post. The guy is funny. I really enjoy his writing. :unsure:

Yes, I read his column. In fact I just got done reading it and I saw your post. The guy is funny. I really enjoy his writing. :(
Agreed. I do think the Warner and Jesus thing has gotten a bit played out, but at least this was a funny, little bit twisted take on it.
Nice one from this week's...gotta say, for me this is reaching "refreshing the site to see if the latest column is up" status.


Philip Rivers: Granted, it was against PIT but the high-flying SD passing offense hit the skids last week, and they now face #9 IND (189 YPG). Couldn't happen to a nicer guy. Seriously, I've never seen a player more universally loathed by fans on message boards. Maybe it's that hateful punching bag face of his? Rivers looks like the kid in high school who took five-and-a-half years to graduate, knocked textbooks out of smaller kids' hands in the halls and did donuts in the student parking lot in his Nissan Maxima that had a "RIV MAN 17" vanity plate.

To quote Homer Simpson, "It's funny 'cause it's true." :rofl:



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