No. I'm not blacked out right now.I wonder if you can/will see the similarities between texting a coworker during a blackout and what you've posted here the last few hours?
I don't think anyone's going to accuse me of being jon's best friend any time soon. But he's a decent man. And when he sees someone who needs help - obviously needs help - he tends to be willing to suggest or offer it. He's not wrong.I don't recall you ever being very friendly @jon_mx. Why would I , or anyone, take you seriously?
Is that the only parallel you can make between the two?No. I'm not blacked out right now.
I see no need to make a parallel between them. You saw that need. Why in the world would I give more than a rats ### about that?Is that the only parallel you can make between the two?
You won't tonight. It'll be worth discussing tomorrow.I see no need to make a parallel between them. You saw that need. Why in the world would I give more than a rats ### about that?
I won't be discussing it tomorrow anymore than I do a fart in the wind.You won't tonight. It'll be worth discussing tomorrow.
Is this how you would talk to me if we were sitting next to each other in a bar?I see no need to make a parallel between them. You saw that need. Why in the world would I give more than a rats ### about that?
You only work 30-35 hours/week and you can't handle a second job? You need money and have time to work more.I can't handle taking on the dynamics of a second job while I'm working 30-35 a week at my current.
Im waiting for business to pick up. Working myself to death like I was with the staffing agency isn't going to help my depression even though I'm low on disposable income.
Child of Russian spies?Tomorrow night ( tonight technically) I will tell the full story of my childhood.
If you said some nonsense like that I probably would.Is this how you would talk to me if we were sitting next to each other in a bar?
That's a full time jobYou only work 30-35 hours/week and you can't handle a second job? You need money and have time to work more.
Don't forget that I've been good about keeping it to one thread and haven't been making 7 or 8 per day.Has anyone put this their out there? It came to me that morning as I caught up on this thread.
I believe that Rok is depressed and dealing with some emotional things. Maybe the best therapy and all he really needs is to have someone to talk to and to get a little attention. I don't know if that comes across as derogatory or not, but it's not meant to be. Some people just need attention paid to them to feel valued.
Here we have Rok. He consistently points out that he has no money and no insurance. To come here and talk is free. He talks, people respond. People start to lose interest, he tells another tale that results in more responses. Each negative response to good advice ellicts twenty more responses from people.
Good, bad, or indifferent, this thread might be all that Rok needs. It doesn't cost a dime, it's anonymous, and it's available 24/7 with someone always there.
Rok doesn't need to see someone. WE are his someone.
If we were talking in person at a bar I certainly wouldn't have talked about the incident with the girl at work so we wouldn't be having this conversation.Is this how you would talk to me if we were sitting next to each other in a bar?
That is true, but dozens of other people have. Why do you consistently ignore them? Actually you often piss on them, which then makes people not want to interact with you. I can't even imagine what you must be like face to face.
Get help.
If you said some nonsense like that I probably would.
Then why do you feel it's important to have the conversation here?If we were talking in person at a bar I certainly wouldn't have talked about the incident with the girl at work so we wouldn't be having this conversation.
I don't have to look for a new job.Then why do you feel it's important to have the conversation here?
Mainly, I was just making the point that this can't be a one way street. EG used the example of speaking to someone the same way we would if we were talking at the bar. Obviously that expectation only works from posters to you, and not the other way around.
Also, in case you missed it. I was drawing the parallel between your drunk texting your coworker and your angry posts last night while you were drunk. Do you see the common denominators in both equations? It's you and booze. Since you're not going to stop posting, maybe stop drinking.
Lastly, if you believe you ruined things at work and have to look for a new job, why don't you feel you ruined things in this thread and have to look for a new board?
My mistake. I guess I must have made that assumption through the postings of the last couple of days.I don't have to look for a new job.
This is precisely why I have said over and over again that I don't really care if some or all of what he posts is a fishing trip. It's irrelevant to me. He needs real help, not a message board, but it's SOMETHING.Has anyone put this their out there? It came to me that morning as I caught up on this thread.
I believe that Rok is depressed and dealing with some emotional things. Maybe the best therapy and all he really needs is to have someone to talk to and to get a little attention. I don't know if that comes across as derogatory or not, but it's not meant to be. Some people just need attention paid to them to feel valued.
Here we have Rok. He consistently points out that he has no money and no insurance. To come here and talk is free. He talks, people respond. People start to lose interest, he tells another tale that results in more responses. Each negative response to good advice ellicts twenty more responses from people.
Good, bad, or indifferent, this thread might be all that Rok needs. It doesn't cost a dime, it's anonymous, and it's available 24/7 with someone always there.
Rok doesn't need to see someone. WE are his someone.
And this is a good thing. If he didn't have a place to speak of whatever is on his mind, just think how it would be if he were left completely alone. That's why he's not being banned. He's not posting multiple threads, just has his one to help him deal. He will know when it's time to take some advice in here and do it. It's very hard if you are just that down and out and not on meds which I still think he needs to be evaluated and put on something.Has anyone put this their out there? It came to me that morning as I caught up on this thread.
I believe that Rok is depressed and dealing with some emotional things. Maybe the best therapy and all he really needs is to have someone to talk to and to get a little attention. I don't know if that comes across as derogatory or not, but it's not meant to be. Some people just need attention paid to them to feel valued.
Here we have Rok. He consistently points out that he has no money and no insurance. To come here and talk is free. He talks, people respond. People start to lose interest, he tells another tale that results in more responses. Each negative response to good advice ellicts twenty more responses from people.
Good, bad, or indifferent, this thread might be all that Rok needs. It doesn't cost a dime, it's anonymous, and it's available 24/7 with someone always there.
Rok doesn't need to see someone. WE are his someone.
help me to understand why you continue to single me out? youve come after me a few times in here for "throwing punches" in this thread and yet others dont seem to draw your ire.This is precisely why I have said over and over again that I don't really care if some or all of what he posts is a fishing trip. It's irrelevant to me. He needs real help, not a message board, but it's SOMETHING.
He clearly wants/needs an audience. I get that and I'm happy to be that audience. There's no downside to it for me. The best case scenario is that some of what is said here ultimately sinks in. He turns his life around and this thread is the first step on that journey.
The worst case scenario is that he reveals this all to be one elaborate fishing trip. If that happened and the Conans of the world want to laugh at me for being so gullible, so be it. That doesn't move the needle for me. Someone I'll never meet calling me a chump or a sucker isn't going to upset or faze me. Even if that played out, I'd do the same thing again the next day.
I disagree with FFA acting like a crutch is preventing him from getting help. Everyone needs to feel wanted, heard, that their lives are worth something. No one wants to feel isolated and alone. I asked before and got crickets: anyone here not think he has issues? Whether clinical or whatever? That alone says that he needs help regardless of whether all his stories are schtick or not. And who cares?? At the very least you guys are entertained, no? Some people find it entertaining reading about people with struggles and that's why they can't stay out of such threads. It's easier to call it schtick than to think that possibly this person is one foot from going over the edge for good. We know those who want to help and care and those who are just derailing trolling in his thread. Without his thread that is for him, he'd be worse off. Don't like it, don't read it.help me to understand why you continue to single me out? youve come after me a few times in here for "throwing punches" in this thread and yet others dont seem to draw your ire.
Ive backed off after Rok posted the link and suggested he was having suicidal thoughts. I encouraged others to also back off and not push him.
of course he is back to lashing out at those that are trying to help him. it is a pattern that has continued for the last 9 years or so under his various usernames.
in my opinion the only drawback to giving him the attention in the FFA is it acts as a crutch for him and prevents him from getting the assistance he needs in the real world. there are a lot of intelligent, well meaning people in this thread. But, they can't replace the expertise of a mental health professional or addictions counsellor.
Rok won't see the need to get real world help until it is his last resort.
I didn't mean to single you out, I apologize. There are many people who seem to hang around this thread solely to call Rok out on damn near every post he makes.help me to understand why you continue to single me out? youve come after me a few times in here for "throwing punches" in this thread and yet others dont seem to draw your ire.
Ive backed off after Rok posted the link and suggested he was having suicidal thoughts. I encouraged others to also back off and not push him.
of course he is back to lashing out at those that are trying to help him. it is a pattern that has continued for the last 9 years or so under his various usernames.
in my opinion the only drawback to giving him the attention in the FFA is it acts as a crutch for him and prevents him from getting the assistance he needs in the real world. there are a lot of intelligent, well meaning people in this thread. But, they can't replace the expertise of a mental health professional or addictions counsellor.
Rok won't see the need to get real world help until it is his last resort.
under his various usernames this poster has been coming into the FFA for 9 years. His pattern has been the same. he tells us how bad his life is and asks "what can I do?" he gets lots of advice and argues why he can't do it. then he lashes out at those trying to help by telling us nobody understands him or his circumstances.I disagree with FFA acting like a crutch is preventing him from getting help. Everyone needs to feel wanted, heard, that their lives are worth something. No one wants to feel isolated and alone. I asked before and got crickets: anyone here not think he has issues? Whether clinical or whatever? That alone says that he needs help regardless of whether all his stories are schtick or not. And who cares?? At the very least you guys are entertained, no? Some people find it entertaining reading about people with struggles and that's why they can't stay out of such threads. It's easier to call it schtick than to think that possibly this person is one foot from going over the edge for good. We know those who want to help and care and those who are just derailing trolling in his thread. Without his thread that is for him, he'd be worse off. Don't like it, don't read it.
And I agree with the last sentence. Only he knows when it's time. Meanwhile he is dealing with it how he is comfortable with it for now, so we should let him be.
I know about his aliai. He obviously hasn't hit THE rock bottom. There is no time limitation on that. Like I said, he feels alone and has problems as well. Posting online does help. I'll use myself as an example. I've had my share of feeling alone with my own situation. Thankfully I have message boards I can either just rattle on by myself like my journey thread and others where people respond. The internet is great that way. It also can be harmful as we know cases where the person is or feels pushed to the edge and check out for good. No one knows this guy. Wouldn't you agree that just letting him be in his own thread going with what he feels helps him right now is a good idea? The info we gave him isn't going anywhere, it's here for him to look back on when he's feeling it. But you can't just say screw it because it's been 9 years already. MI doesn't work that way, and many go much longer than that before hitting THE rock bottom. So if people are tired of seeing his thread, stay out of it. Calling someone you really don't know a fishing trip is a form of bullying because you just can't know for sure. Just because something doesn't make sense doesn't mean it's schtick. I have many examples of that, one which I shared with a second cousin calling me to tell me my dad called from Iraq and he's ok. She thought he was in the Iraq-Iran war when in fact he's sitting right next to me. Horrible. Bipolar is her condition. And again, if it's all schtick, who cares? It's HIS thread. Let him do with whatever he wants with HIS thread. Derailing it is simply bullying. But I know some people on this board have a certain status they must maintain to feel cool and part of the elite club so it goes on.under his various usernames this poster has been coming into the FFA for 9 years. His pattern has been the same. he tells us how bad his life is and asks "what can I do?" he gets lots of advice and argues why he can't do it. then he lashes out at those trying to help by telling us nobody understands him or his circumstances.
so is him posting in the FFA and others responding hurting anything? No. But, after 9 years with no change in the pattern, I think it is fair to ask if it is helping anything.
Based on your statements, what happens when everyone stops responding? I'm one who has tried to give Rok advice, but he either chooses to ignore, argue or spew drunken anger. It's his prerogative to ignore or argue. But he's no better than the other posters when he says someone is lower than the toilet paper. Mental issues or not, the common courtesies should work for everyone, not just everyone but Rok. Once everyone stops feeding him, he won't be happy with those that are coddling him and will turn on them. Eventually, the thread will have zero activity. Where does his help come from then?I know about his aliai. He obviously hasn't hit THE rock bottom. There is no time limitation on that. Like I said, he feels alone and has problems as well. Posting online does help. I'll use myself as an example. I've had my share of feeling alone with my own situation. Thankfully I have message boards I can either just rattle on by myself like my journey thread and others where people respond. The internet is great that way. It also can be harmful as we know cases where the person is or feels pushed to the edge and check out for good. No one knows this guy. Wouldn't you agree that just letting him be in his own thread going with what he feels helps him right now is a good idea? The info we gave him isn't going anywhere, it's here for him to look back on when he's feeling it. But you can't just say screw it because it's been 9 years already. MI doesn't work that way, and many go much longer than that before hitting THE rock bottom. So if people are tired of seeing his thread, stay out of it. Calling someone you really don't know a fishing trip is a form of bullying because you just can't know for sure. Just because something doesn't make sense doesn't mean it's schtick. I have many examples of that, one which I shared with a second cousin calling me to tell me my dad called from Iraq and he's ok. She thought he was in the Iraq-Iran war when in fact he's sitting right next to me. Horrible. Bipolar is her condition. And again, if it's all schtick, who cares? It's HIS thread. Let him do with whatever he wants with HIS thread. Derailing it is simply bullying. But I know some people on this board have a certain status they must maintain to feel cool and part of the elite club so it goes on.
you quoted my post and part of your response addresses it, but other parts of your response have nothing to do with it. I mentioned nothing about "fishing trip" or "shtick".I know about his aliai. He obviously hasn't hit THE rock bottom. There is no time limitation on that. Like I said, he feels alone and has problems as well. Posting online does help. I'll use myself as an example. I've had my share of feeling alone with my own situation. Thankfully I have message boards I can either just rattle on by myself like my journey thread and others where people respond. The internet is great that way. It also can be harmful as we know cases where the person is or feels pushed to the edge and check out for good. No one knows this guy. Wouldn't you agree that just letting him be in his own thread going with what he feels helps him right now is a good idea? The info we gave him isn't going anywhere, it's here for him to look back on when he's feeling it. But you can't just say screw it because it's been 9 years already. MI doesn't work that way, and many go much longer than that before hitting THE rock bottom. So if people are tired of seeing his thread, stay out of it. Calling someone you really don't know a fishing trip is a form of bullying because you just can't know for sure. Just because something doesn't make sense doesn't mean it's schtick. I have many examples of that, one which I shared with a second cousin calling me to tell me my dad called from Iraq and he's ok. She thought he was in the Iraq-Iran war when in fact he's sitting right next to me. Horrible. Bipolar is her condition. And again, if it's all schtick, who cares? It's HIS thread. Let him do with whatever he wants with HIS thread. Derailing it is simply bullying. But I know some people on this board have a certain status they must maintain to feel cool and part of the elite club so it goes on.
If everyone stops posting then maybe he'd be pushed to seek help, or maybe not. While my case is different, my sole thread on a basically dead message board while has many views it's basically me writing about how I feel. what's going on, etc in my world. Just writing stuff helps me even though once in a blue moon the usual couple people who I'm good friends with will respond. I don't require attention and know all to well how people can turn mean which is why I never continued posting in my cancer thread on this board. I'd have to defend myself from folks who think they know how it is for everyone with cancer because they go through it all just fine. At least on that other board, I'm in peace and I try to educate for whoever wants to know in addition to just rattling on about my stuff.Based on your statements, what happens when everyone stops responding? I'm one who has tried to give Rok advice, but he either chooses to ignore, argue or spew drunken anger. It's his prerogative to ignore or argue. But he's no better than the other posters when he says someone is lower than the toilet paper. Mental issues or not, the common courtesies should work for everyone, not just everyone but Rok. Once everyone stops feeding him, he won't be happy with those that are coddling him and will turn on them. Eventually, the thread will have zero activity. Where does his help come from then?
At this point, we have identified numerous things that have, or could have, a negative effect on society.(not just Rok) Drinking and driving, unprotected sex, and failing to file taxes. At the very least, he's committed a couple of crimes. Again, mental issues are no excuse. If I was an ax murderer and I posted in my own thread that I just killed someone would you be more concerned about my mental state or the people I may be hurting. At what point do we have an obligation to others, not just Rok.
Part of me thinks that Rok was posting a few times that he was driving drunk (even when he didn't) just to get a response out of people.
Since he's been working as a waiter, and collecting tips, I'm wondering if that income will ever be taxed.
The fishing trip wasn't directed to you but to those who keep posting that cute emoticon. Yes I don't know him either, but I know enough, that he is disturbed to even post stories if not at all true, to want to err on him having issues that could be worse than we know vs someone who is just bored and is posting stuff. If I'm being duped which I don't believe, then so be it. So what. I've been around enough MI folks and people with addictions or both to know given the choice, err on it not being all schtick.you quoted my post and part of your response addresses it, but other parts of your response have nothing to do with it. I mentioned nothing about "fishing trip" or "shtick".
you are correct that I don’t know Rok, but neither do you. How can you be so sure your course of action is the correct one and mine is not?
We all have a choice here. Either we think it's not schtick or all schtick, that he really has serious issues, or not. If he's messing with the good people here then we have a choice to either stop visiting this thread or to continue trying to help. If somehow it comes out for sure it was all schtick then so be it. For me at least I know I tried being a good person, even to someone I don't know but from posts.What really has started to bother me about all of this is my feeling that he is just using some very good people for his own amusement. He has already stated that he gets along in the real world by acting like someone he isn't and I think he's doing the same thing here and playing with people's emotions. He doesn't do any of the things people suggest because he doesn't really need the help he claims to need. If this is the case, he needs a different kind of help. Something that will help him gain some empathy for the feelings of others. I've said it before, he's bored and enjoys playing with people. That might actually be more disturbing that what he claims he is.
Not true. I don't say it's definitely schtick but it might not be the type of emotional problem he makes it out to be. I do think he needs help.We all have a choice here. Either we think it's not schtick or all schtick, that he really has serious issues, or not. If he's messing with the good people here then we have a choice to either stop visiting this thread or to continue trying to help. If somehow it comes out for sure it was all schtick then so be it. For me at least I know I tried being a good person, even to someone I don't know but from posts.
Yes he does need help, whatever it is. If his own thread here is helping him then that's a good thing.Not true. I don't say it's definitely schtick but it might not be the type of emotional problem he makes it out to be. I do think he needs help.
exactly it.What really has started to bother me about all of this is my feeling that he is just using some very good people for his own amusement. He has already stated that he gets along in the real world by acting like someone he isn't and I think he's doing the same thing here and playing with people's emotions. He doesn't do any of the things people suggest because he doesn't really need the help he claims to need. If this is the case, he needs a different kind of help. Something that will help him gain some empathy for the feelings of others. I've said it before, he's bored and enjoys playing with people. That might actually be more disturbing that what he claims he is.
Or it is feeding him.Yes he does need help, whatever it is. If his own thread here is helping him then that's a good thing.
you are a great poster, but this is so wrong. None of us that post here are 100 percent one or the other.We all have a choice here. Either we think it's not schtick or all schtick, that he really has serious issues, or not.
Obviously it is, but we can't assume it's for the worse. We don't know that. Again, he's not hurting anyone here, is he? If he's hurt someone's feelings in here then do what I did awhile back when a handful of fbgs were riding my ###, ignore or step away. And I agree, if it's entirely all schtick that's just as disturbing.Or it is feeding him.
Maybe it's my wording but what I wrote covers the spectrum: full on schtick, not all schtick or entirely all true. While we all may sway between this, I think each one of us has one option we hold to.you are a great poster, but this is so wrong. None of us that post here are 100 percent one or the other.
So saving Rok is more important than saving a person he could kill by driving drunk. You get to make that your choice, I get to make mine.If everyone stops posting then maybe he'd be pushed to seek help, or maybe not. While my case is different, my sole thread on a basically dead message board while has many views it's basically me writing about how I feel. what's going on, etc in my world. Just writing stuff helps me even though once in a blue moon the usual couple people who I'm good friends with will respond. I don't require attention and know all to well how people can turn mean which is why I never continued posting in my cancer thread on this board. I'd have to defend myself from folks who think they know how it is for everyone with cancer because they go through it all just fine. At least on that other board, I'm in peace and I try to educate for whoever wants to know in addition to just rattling on about my stuff.
The ax murderer comparison is not a comparison. It's pretty obvious who's side people would be on unless they are sick like that themselves. This is Rok's thread. If he posts something offensive to someone, that person can just take themselves out of this thread.He's not hurting anyone. You have a choice, leave the thread. Reasoning obviously isn't working and won't until he reaches his point. Hell I've been called many things on this board back when and I just took a break if I was hurt or ignored those threads. My uncle is a drunk. When he gets drunk, he becomes nasty. I've been called whore, slut, he just uses the worst offensive stuff. My mom would get hurt but he's drunk. When he's sober he doesn't remember and becomes remorseful. But we know this. He's not harming us, really himself because it takes awhile before we'll chill around him again. So really, he's punishing himself and not us. We just need to know what's in store when he gets like that and either walk away or deal. You can't reason with someone who is not only a nasty drunk but has other issues the times he's sober as well.
If he's scamming the system by not reporting wages, that's on him. He either will or won't get caught. It's not something in our control so why keep thinking about it, and with a person who we only "know" from online. We need to not get that involved with the details for who knows schtick or not, but his being unwell is no schtick. I don't check this thread every day. Most days getting through my own #### is enough. I don't read his entire posts, sometimes not at all. Just seeing what others are posting, their reaction which is in their control.
Where did I say that? We can't control his driving behaviour. That's on him. Saving Rok, he has to do himself. If Rok can turn himself around, save him as you say, then that would trickle down to potentially saving others. Nothing we can do other than what's in this thread.So saving Rok is more important than saving a person he could kill by driving drunk. You get to make that your choice, I get to make mine.