Stomach Growling during meetings (1 Viewer)

[TheIronSheik]

Anyone know how the hell to stop this? Or why it happens?

Never happened up until about 3 years ago. I could eat a 72 oz. steak with a baked potato 3 minutes before the meeting, but as soon as I get in there and the room gets quiet, my stomach starts making sounds like it's trying to mate with other humpback whales in a 5 mile radius of me. I've tried eating before and during. I've tried drinking something. Nothing seems to stop it.

I'm sure worrying about it happening makes it even worse.

I need a way for it to stop because I'm tired of having to explain to the VP's of my company that the noise was just my stomach when they look around to see who just let one rip in the meeting.

 

[Spanky267]

Eminence may have some products at his place of employment to help you with this.

 

[DSP]

Age. Your digestion will lose efficiency. Ten years ago I could eat anything but occasionally I have problems now

Nerves could be causing it too. Do you have any stress causing you anxiety?

 

[msommer]

Give everyone ear plugs...

 

[Keerock]

Eminence may have some products at his place of employment to help you with this.

HEMP?

 

[Skylord]

I find it happens after consuming milk products. Or leafy greens that can cause indigestion (raw spinach, non organic lettuce, etc)

 

[msommer]

Eminence may have some products at his place of employment to help you with this.

HEMP?

That would be at his abode...

 

[Parrothead]

eat a pizza

 

[fantasycurse42]

Anxiety about missing out on the Eminence Fund

 

[TheIronSheik]

Age. Your digestion will lose efficiency. Ten years ago I could eat anything but occasionally I have problems now

Nerves could be causing it too. Do you have any stress causing you anxiety?

Yes. Fear of my stomach making noises in meetings.

 

[Leroy Hoard]

Would be less of a problem if you were in a death metal band.

 

[DSP]

Age. Your digestion will lose efficiency. Ten years ago I could eat anything but occasionally I have problems now

Nerves could be causing it too. Do you have any stress causing you anxiety?

Yes. Fear of my stomach making noises in meetings.

You are stick in an inescapable loop then. Just learn to live with it

 

[DSP]

Would be less of a problem if you were in a death metal band.

If shiek can play keyboard we will welcome him with open arms

 

[Leroy Hoard]

Would be less of a problem if you were in a death metal band.

If shiek can play keyboard we will welcome him with open arms

And if your voice goes out you can mike his stomach.

 

[KCitons]

you seem to have a lot of issues with your stomach, bowels, etc.

May I suggest a colostomy bag.

 

[DSP]

Would be less of a problem if you were in a death metal band.

If shiek can play keyboard we will welcome him with open arms

And if your voice goes out you can mike his stomach.

We will change our name to heartburn

 

[tdoss]

Try some tums

 

[TheIronSheik]

you seem to have a lot of issues with your stomach, bowels, etc.

May I suggest a colostomy bag.

You have no idea. My bowel issues were well documented on this site about 10 years ago.

 

[Guest]

Pretty sure it's ball cancer.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

weeeeeeerrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeee pooooooooooooooooooorrrrrrr

 

[Nathan R. Jessep]

just look around as if to see who just let one rip

 

[KCitons]

you seem to have a lot of issues with your stomach, bowels, etc.

May I suggest a colostomy bag.

You have no idea. My bowel issues were well documented on this site about 10 years ago.

Even more reason for the bag. Why endure it for another 10 years.

 

[ClownCausedChaos2]

Would be less of a problem if you were in a death metal band.

If shiek can play keyboard we will welcome him with open arms

Well, have we got good news for you...

 

[TheIronSheik]

Does anyone know if the sound would be muffled in a crossover?

 

[VA703]

seaweed, no joke

 

[dickey moe]

Next time preemptively blame it on the nearest VP.

 

[ClownCausedChaos2]

Does anyone know if the sound would be muffled in a crossover?

Everytime I make this joke, I thibk to myself, "Is this the time that the joke becomes old and unfunny?"Then, without fail, you make the joke again. I'm so conflicted.

 

[TheIronSheik]

Does anyone know if the sound would be muffled in a crossover?

Everytime I make this joke, I thibk to myself, "Is this the time that the joke becomes old and unfunny?"Then, without fail, you make the joke again. I'm so conflicted.

 

[Tecumseh]

Try Dramamine. No shtick.

 

[ntz08]

rip a couple solid farts to distract from your stomach issues. problem solved

 

[Rohn Jambo]

It's an opportunity to make yourself look cool.

"Excuse me but weed cookies always give me gas."

 

[Jaysus]

wear more layers, like, a lot more.

 

[msommer]

Does anyone know if the sound would be muffled in a crossover?

Sure, but can you park it at the conference table?

 

[pollardsvision]

rip a couple solid farts to distract from your stomach issues. problem solved

Boom. /thread

 

[Henry Ford]

With all of your recent threads combined, it looks like a pretty solid case for IBS.

 

[TheIronSheik]

With all of your recent threads combined, it looks like a pretty solid case for IBS.

It's not. Like I said, 10 years ago I documented my troubles and doctor visits quite thoroughly on this site. But IBS was ruled out. Which is too bad. Because I was already starting to tell people I had Angry ### Disease.

 

[Henry Ford]

With all of your recent threads combined, it looks like a pretty solid case for IBS.

It's not. Like I said, 10 years ago I documented my troubles and doctor visits quite thoroughly on this site. But IBS was ruled out. Which is too bad. Because I was already starting to tell people I had Angry ### Disease.

Maybe you're just weird.

 

[TheIronSheik]

With all of your recent threads combined, it looks like a pretty solid case for IBS.

It's not. Like I said, 10 years ago I documented my troubles and doctor visits quite thoroughly on this site. But IBS was ruled out. Which is too bad. Because I was already starting to tell people I had Angry ### Disease.

Maybe you're just weird.

Oh yeah. There's no denying that one. Not DSP weird. But definitely weird.

 

[McGarnicle]

Wanted to mention that I ripped a massive fart just now, and it smelled really rancid and disgusting. Didn't know where else to post the info. Thanks, have a good day.

 

[fantasycurse42]

Wanted to mention that I ripped a massive fart just now, and it smelled really rancid and disgusting. Didn't know where else to post the info. Thanks, have a good day.

This thread was designed for this stuff, especially if others are around.

 

[Fennis]

Just let out a few farts and it will settle right down.

 

[TheIronSheik]

The thing is, it's not even fart gas. If that were the case, I'd excuse myself and pretend I had a phone call outside the room while I let 'er rip.

This is just growling. I've tried making a muscle. I've tried relaxing my stomach.

My only solution I've had success with is the "cough as it happens" approach. And I think people are starting to think I have AIDS with the amount of time I seem sick.

 

[DSP]

Have you considered heroin? Takes away your appetite and puts your bowels on lockdown

 

[TheIronSheik]

Have you considered heroin? Takes away your appetite and puts your bowels on lockdown

So far, this is the best option I've heard.

 

[fantasycurse42]

Have you considered heroin? Takes away your appetite and puts your bowels on lockdown

So far, this is the best option I've heard.

Fairly certain he wasn't making a joke

 

[TheIronSheik]

Have you considered heroin? Takes away your appetite and puts your bowels on lockdown

So far, this is the best option I've heard.

Fairly certain he wasn't making a joke

I wasn't either.

 

[McGarnicle]

####, and now with the diarrhea...

 

[DSP]

Have you considered heroin? Takes away your appetite and puts your bowels on lockdown

So far, this is the best option I've heard.

Fairly certain he wasn't making a joke

I wasn't either.

You can wait to come down off it after work and evacuate your bowels in the privacy of your own home. Rinse and repeat

 

[Guest]

You have agoraphobia.

 

[Parrothead]

if it gets too loud, just start singing so nobody hears your tummy