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The Craziest 24 Hours (1 Viewer)

One time these terrorists had nerve gas and were threatening LA, so I had to hunt them down and kill them all. Of course, this was rough because the president was in on it and had the damn Marines on my ### the whole time. :hot:

 
probably the time we flew to New Orleans for a Vikes game...landed in Memphis for an emergency landing since a lady died on our flight. Checked in, decided to upgrade to the Presidential suite, then the group of guys I was with partied until 3 am, and proceeded to win about $4,000 with which we paid for the entire lodging bill, and went out for an $800 dinner.
 
]One time these terrorists had nerve gas and were threatening LA, so I had to hunt them down and kill them all. Of course, this was rough because the president was in on it and had the damn Marines on my ### the whole time. :hot:
I got that beat. My next 24 are going to be rough, I'm on a slow boat to Shanghai right now waiting for a whole ####load of Chinese prison inmates to bend me over when I get there :P
 
probably the time we flew to New Orleans for a Vikes game...landed in Memphis for an emergency landing since a lady died on our flight. Checked in, decided to upgrade to the Presidential suite, then the group of guys I was with partied until 3 am, and proceeded to win about $4,000 with which we paid for the entire lodging bill, and went out for an $800 dinner.
If she's already dead, why is it an emergency?
 
probably the time we flew to New Orleans for a Vikes game...landed in Memphis for an emergency landing since a lady died on our flight. Checked in, decided to upgrade to the Presidential suite, then the group of guys I was with partied until 3 am, and proceeded to win about $4,000 with which we paid for the entire lodging bill, and went out for an $800 dinner.
If she's already dead, why is it an emergency?
That's what I said.
 
probably the time we flew to New Orleans for a Vikes game...landed in Memphis for an emergency landing since a lady died on our flight. Checked in, decided to upgrade to the Presidential suite, then the group of guys I was with partied until 3 am, and proceeded to win about $4,000 with which we paid for the entire lodging bill, and went out for an $800 dinner.
If she's already dead, why is it an emergency?
'Cause that stuff's contagious.
 
probably the time we flew to New Orleans for a Vikes game...landed in Memphis for an emergency landing since a lady died on our flight. Checked in, decided to upgrade to the Presidential suite, then the group of guys I was with partied until 3 am, and proceeded to win about $4,000 with which we paid for the entire lodging bill, and went out for an $800 dinner.
If she's already dead, why is it an emergency?
Because if you don't respond, the terrorists win.
 
]One time these terrorists had nerve gas and were threatening LA, so I had to hunt them down and kill them all. Of course, this was rough because the president was in on it and had the damn Marines on my ### the whole time. :hot:
Did you have your stapler with you?
 
Mine involved LSD, an entire carton of generic cigarettes, a thanksgiving day high school football game, two u-haul trucks, a big bag of weed, and some pissed of family members.

good times.

 
This was in May, 1999...

I was working in Lakewood, CO and every 3 weeks went back to Indy for the weekend. I flew back to Indy on a Thursday to close on my first condo on Friday. However, I had severe stomach pains on the flight over (which, coincidentally, was the only time I ever could have had an actual real meal on an airplane - of course :wall: ).

So, since I felt awful, I went to a doctor's office early the next morning. They noticed my skin color was yellow as well, so they sent me to the hospital. I called my mother to tell her that I was sent to the hospital, and it wasn't looking like I was going to make the closing later in the afternoon. So, she started to drive up to the hospital while I was being diagnosed.

To my shock, the initial diagnosis was hepatitis. I just was stunned - how the heck did I get this? Did I eat a bad burrito at Taco Bell? (We all know what it could not have been - insert your joke here).

Well, it wasn't hepatitis. There were gall stones blocking my liver duct, which is why I was yellow and had severe stomach pains. So, they had to put some sort of fishing line into me while I was semi-conscious to get the stones out. Fun, fun stuff.

Meanwhile, my mother had to get the authority (I forgot the legal name for this) to be my representative at the closing of the condo - and she had to direct the movers instead of me (yeah, I still hear about that to this day). So, while I was in the hospital everything got moved from my old apartment to my 1st condo.

 
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So, while I was in the hospital everything got moved from my old apartment to my 1st condo.
And then?
That's the 24 hours. Plane ride while in severe pain, going to the doctor's office then the hospital, getting misdiagnosised, getting surgery, while getting help closing on my condo and moving. I think that is quite a 24 hours.
 
Probably had to do with Dahab Egypt, getting opium from some Arab Bedouins, driving back to the Israeli border at 100 miles per hour in a cab that was coming apart at the seems, through a terrential desert rainstorm while driving THROUGH the end of a rainbow.

If I could remember anymore of it, then it would not have been the craziest 24 hours I have ever had. But I do recall those pieces of info.

 
Mine involved LSD, an entire carton of generic cigarettes, a thanksgiving day high school football game, two u-haul trucks, a big bag of weed, and some pissed of family members.

good times.
Dude, they wouldnt have been so pissed off if you didnt keep Bogarting the joint. Yeesh.
 
This was in May, 1999...

I was working in Lakewood, CO and every 3 weeks went back to Indy for the weekend. I flew back to Indy on a Thursday to close on my first condo on Friday. However, I had severe stomach pains on the flight over (which, coincidentally, was the only time I ever could have had an actual real meal on an airplane - of course :wall: ).

So, since I felt awful, I went to a doctor's office early the next morning. They noticed my skin color was yellow as well, so they sent me to the hospital. I called my mother to tell her that I was sent to the hospital, and it wasn't looking like I was going to make the closing later in the afternoon. So, she started to drive up to the hospital while I was being diagnosed.

To my shock, the initial diagnosis was hepatitis. I just was stunned - how the heck did I get this? Did I eat a bad burrito at Taco Bell? (We all know what it could not have been - insert your joke here).

Well, it wasn't hepatitis. There were gall stones blocking my liver duct, which is why I was yellow and had severe stomach pains. So, they had to put some sort of fishing line into me while I was semi-conscious to get the stones out. Fun, fun stuff.

Meanwhile, my mother had to get the authority (I forgot the legal name for this) to be my representative at the closing of the condo - and she had to direct the movers instead of me (yeah, I still hear about that to this day). So, while I was in the hospital everything got moved from my old apartment to my 1st condo.
Don't take this wrong - from everything I've read about djcolts, you're a very likeable guy - but your life makes me sad.
 
So, while I was in the hospital everything got moved from my old apartment to my 1st condo.
And then?
That's the 24 hours. Plane ride while in severe pain, going to the doctor's office then the hospital, getting misdiagnosised, getting surgery, while getting help closing on my condo and moving. I think that is quite a 24 hours.
Deej, you really must go to Vegas. I know you get tired of that, but I really do think a nice prostitute would do you a world of good. You should get like 10 of 'em (we'll all pitch in) and you should just go nuts. There needs to be at least one on each arm for 24 hours straight.Does this sound okay to you, or not?

 
So, while I was in the hospital everything got moved from my old apartment to my 1st condo.
And then?
That's the 24 hours. Plane ride while in severe pain, going to the doctor's office then the hospital, getting misdiagnosised, getting surgery, while getting help closing on my condo and moving. I think that is quite a 24 hours.
You should get like 10 of 'em (we'll all pitch in) and you should just go nuts. There needs to be at least one on each arm for 24 hours straight.
1. Wrong appendage2. 10? How many freakin' arms do you have?

 
So, while I was in the hospital everything got moved from my old apartment to my 1st condo.
And then?
That's the 24 hours. Plane ride while in severe pain, going to the doctor's office then the hospital, getting misdiagnosised, getting surgery, while getting help closing on my condo and moving. I think that is quite a 24 hours.
You should get like 10 of 'em (we'll all pitch in) and you should just go nuts. There needs to be at least one on each arm for 24 hours straight.
1. Wrong appendage2. 10? How many freakin' arms do you have?
I mean when he's not in the orgy -- when he is just cruisin' around town. He needs a stable. He needs to look and feel like Hugh Hefner for one day, just one. It will change his life.
 
Ok here it is in a nutshell. (Hope it's not too long). Had to create an alias for this one.........

About 10 yrs ago my marriage was going to hell pretty much. I met a woman, make that 2 women on the internet. Had affairs with both. One was here(Wench A) in my home town one was (Wench B)about 1400 miles away.

Wench A became extremely possessive calling me 6-7 times a day at work. We only slept together once and I had a feeling about her (She didn't want me to use protection) I did the smart thing and pulled. Like I said she totally freaked me out so I started ignoring her......

About 3 months later I flew out to see Wench B. While I was there I came down with pneumonia, and actually broke 3 ribs during our romp. Here is where the craziest 24 hrs comes in......

Wife found out about Wench B, and the $5k phone bill I rang up while I was romping with Wench B. When she got ahold of me, all hell broke loose, and I felt super guilty, so I cut my trip short and caught a flight home the next morning.

Flew home in immense amounts of pain with 3 broken ribs and pneumonia in the morning.

Got home and went directly to hospital, wife wouldn't come with or drive me (I don't blame her one bit)

Get admitted to hospital.

An hour later I am on the phone with Wench B, letting her know I'm in the hospital when I hear two voices outside my room, and much to my horror it sounds like Wench A. (I knew she was a nurse) Guess who was my nurse? Yep it was her. and guess who she walked in with, yep wife and son. :eek: I hurry off the phone with Wench B, and I'm just spent. The scene and feeling was incredible, incredibly bad, I just wanted to die right there.

Wench A never said anything to wife, but she did steal my beeper and wouldn't give it back until I went out with her again. To this day she still has it.

I swear on a stack of bibles this is a true story.

:ph34r:

 
Ok here it is in a nutshell. (Hope it's not too long). Had to create an alias for this one.........

About 10 yrs ago my marriage was going to hell pretty much. I met a woman, make that 2 women on the internet. Had affairs with both. One was here(Wench A) in my home town one was (Wench B)about 1400 miles away.

Wench A became extremely possessive calling me 6-7 times a day at work. We only slept together once and I had a feeling about her (She didn't want me to use protection) I did the smart thing and pulled. Like I said she totally freaked me out so I started ignoring her......

About 3 months later I flew out to see Wench B. While I was there I came down with pneumonia, and actually broke 3 ribs during our romp. Here is where the craziest 24 hrs comes in......

Wife found out about Wench B, and the $5k phone bill I rang up while I was romping with Wench B. When she got ahold of me, all hell broke loose, and I felt super guilty, so I cut my trip short and caught a flight home the next morning.

Flew home in immense amounts of pain with 3 broken ribs and pneumonia in the morning.

Got home and went directly to hospital, wife wouldn't come with or drive me (I don't blame her one bit)

Get admitted to hospital.

An hour later I am on the phone with Wench B, letting her know I'm in the hospital when I hear two voices outside my room, and much to my horror it sounds like Wench A. (I knew she was a nurse) Guess who was my nurse? Yep it was her. and guess who she walked in with, yep wife and son. :eek: I hurry off the phone with Wench B, and I'm just spent. The scene and feeling was incredible, incredibly bad, I just wanted to die right there.

Wench A never said anything to wife, but she did steal my beeper and wouldn't give it back until I went out with her again. To this day she still has it.

I swear on a stack of bibles this is a true story.

:ph34r:
We have a winner so far...
 
probably the time we flew to New Orleans for a Vikes game...landed in Memphis for an emergency landing since a lady died on our flight. Checked in, decided to upgrade to the Presidential suite, then the group of guys I was with partied until 3 am, and proceeded to win about $4,000 with which we paid for the entire lodging bill, and went out for an $800 dinner. And was too drunk to meet up with my ifriend
Fixed
 
Ok here it is in a nutshell. (Hope it's not too long). Had to create an alias for this one.........

About 10 yrs ago my marriage was going to hell pretty much. I met a woman, make that 2 women on the internet. Had affairs with both. One was here(Wench A) in my home town one was (Wench B)about 1400 miles away.

Wench A became extremely possessive calling me 6-7 times a day at work. We only slept together once and I had a feeling about her (She didn't want me to use protection) I did the smart thing and pulled. Like I said she totally freaked me out so I started ignoring her......

About 3 months later I flew out to see Wench B. While I was there I came down with pneumonia, and actually broke 3 ribs during our romp. Here is where the craziest 24 hrs comes in......

Wife found out about Wench B, and the $5k phone bill I rang up while I was romping with Wench B. When she got ahold of me, all hell broke loose, and I felt super guilty, so I cut my trip short and caught a flight home the next morning.

Flew home in immense amounts of pain with 3 broken ribs and pneumonia in the morning.

Got home and went directly to hospital, wife wouldn't come with or drive me (I don't blame her one bit)

Get admitted to hospital.

An hour later I am on the phone with Wench B, letting her know I'm in the hospital when I hear two voices outside my room, and much to my horror it sounds like Wench A. (I knew she was a nurse) Guess who was my nurse? Yep it was her. and guess who she walked in with, yep wife and son. :eek: I hurry off the phone with Wench B, and I'm just spent. The scene and feeling was incredible, incredibly bad, I just wanted to die right there.

Wench A never said anything to wife, but she did steal my beeper and wouldn't give it back until I went out with her again. To this day she still has it.

I swear on a stack of bibles this is a true story.

:ph34r:
This is great. So how in the world did you break 3 ribs? And are you still with your wife?

Hookers would have been MUCH cheaper with zero problems -- you are paying them to LEAVE.

 
probably the time we flew to New Orleans for a Vikes game...landed in Memphis for an emergency landing since a lady died on our flight. Checked in, decided to upgrade to the Presidential suite, then the group of guys I was with partied until 3 am, and proceeded to win about $4,000 with which we paid for the entire lodging bill, and went out for an $800 dinner.
That's the "craziest" 24 hours?
 
probably the time we flew to New Orleans for a Vikes game...landed in Memphis for an emergency landing since a lady died on our flight. Checked in, decided to upgrade to the Presidential suite, then the group of guys I was with partied until 3 am, and proceeded to win about $4,000 with which we paid for the entire lodging bill, and went out for an $800 dinner.
That's the "craziest" 24 hours?
No kidding. Sounds rather tame.
 
Probably had to do with Dahab Egypt, getting opium from some Arab Bedouins, driving back to the Israeli border at 100 miles per hour in a cab that was coming apart at the seems, through a terrential desert rainstorm while driving THROUGH the end of a rainbow.

If I could remember anymore of it, then it would not have been the craziest 24 hours I have ever had. But I do recall those pieces of info.
sounds similar to one many of my trips to Dahab, except add getting arrested for counterfitting and being held at gunpoint by an Egyptian soldier.
 
My dad ran a children's group home in Wyoming and the bishop of the church was on his Board of Directors. The bishop goes to Rome once every five years and he took a group of us along with him.

WE go to the vatican in the morning and we have mass underneath the vatican in the place where they have all the dead popes. There are thirteen bishops there and it happens in front of the shrine where they allegedly have St Peter's bones. Don't want to go all Davinci Code on you but it was cool.

After that the pope is having a greeting. He has this tremendous chamber where he greets people. Holds several thousand. The Bishop leads us in and tells us to follow the guard. We wind up in the front row. The scene is incredible. People from too many countries to count. They all sing songs in there native languages. Anyway....after the deal I'm getting ready to pick up when an entourage starts escorting the pope down to the crowd. He comes around and shakes my hand. Wow.

Its not even noon and we catch a bus and spend the day in Rome checking out the sistine chapel. In the evening I go out to the club with a Seminary student that has come with us. We wind up getting smashed and taking two Italian girls back to the hotel. Obviously a no no for a seminary student. The next monring Is like a scene from a movie trying to sneak these two girls out of the hotel so he isn't busted.

I got some good stuff from on tour with the dead but my day in Rome scaled the heights and explored the depths.

 
1986.I was on a balcony that collapsed. 9 dead, 2 survivors. I broke my hip, pelvis, radius and ulna in 9 places, several ribs, femur, collar bone, and jaw. I released several clots of blood into my lungs causing some very distressing pulmonary embolisms. I got last rights. Very long night.

1988 Driving down to Palenque in the Chiapas region of southern Mexico to take my brother a trailor full of supplies for a rafting business he and another guy were running. Stopped by armed Federales. They took the car, the trailor, all my supplies and left me on the road with no water, I.D. or cash. About two hours later my brother's partner happened by, we drove to their base camp only to find my brother coming out of the jungle. The troops had shot up their palapas for no apparent reason.

1999. Traveling from Dira Dawa to Harrar a patrol of Eritreans had taken the road ahead. An Ethiopian convoy passed us to engage them. They left a security detail to protect us. These were young kids, the looked no more than 14. They were armed with AK 47's. Several hours passed, the 'protectors' received a radio call, they got us out of our car at gun point, had us lay face down, patted us down and took our shoes. They were agitated and yelling. An hour later their superiors arrived and sent us on our way without explanation.

 
Ok here it is in a nutshell. (Hope it's not too long). Had to create an alias for this one.........

About 10 yrs ago my marriage was going to hell pretty much. I met a woman, make that 2 women on the internet. Had affairs with both. One was here(Wench A) in my home town one was (Wench B)about 1400 miles away.

Wench A became extremely possessive calling me 6-7 times a day at work. We only slept together once and I had a feeling about her (She didn't want me to use protection) I did the smart thing and pulled. Like I said she totally freaked me out so I started ignoring her......

About 3 months later I flew out to see Wench B. While I was there I came down with pneumonia, and actually broke 3 ribs during our romp. Here is where the craziest 24 hrs comes in......

Wife found out about Wench B, and the $5k phone bill I rang up while I was romping with Wench B. When she got ahold of me, all hell broke loose, and I felt super guilty, so I cut my trip short and caught a flight home the next morning.

Flew home in immense amounts of pain with 3 broken ribs and pneumonia in the morning.

Got home and went directly to hospital, wife wouldn't come with or drive me (I don't blame her one bit)

Get admitted to hospital.

An hour later I am on the phone with Wench B, letting her know I'm in the hospital when I hear two voices outside my room, and much to my horror it sounds like Wench A. (I knew she was a nurse) Guess who was my nurse? Yep it was her. and guess who she walked in with, yep wife and son. :eek: I hurry off the phone with Wench B, and I'm just spent. The scene and feeling was incredible, incredibly bad, I just wanted to die right there.

Wench A never said anything to wife, but she did steal my beeper and wouldn't give it back until I went out with her again. To this day she still has it.

I swear on a stack of bibles this is a true story.

:ph34r:
Can we make this a new thread - Guess who this is an alias for??? My money's on...
 
12 - 4 am - Had sex 3 times. With 3 different women.

4 am - 5 am - Took a tab of acid. Began my trip.

5 am - 8 am - Drove to the beach. Drank beer + vodka on the way.

8 am - 10 am - Went swimming with dolphins.

10 am - 3 pm - Journeyed up a mountain and through a cave, battling bears and goats along the way.

3 pm - 4 pm - Hanglided off of the mountain.

4 pm - 7pm - Took driving lessons with Jeff Gordon

7 pm - 9 pm - Shot hoops with Michael Jordan

9 pm - 10 pm - Got into a giant robot battle with Voltron

10 pm - 12 pm - Had sex 4 times. With 5 different women.

 
]One time these terrorists had nerve gas and were threatening LA, so I had to hunt them down and kill them all. Of course, this was rough because the president was in on it and had the damn Marines on my ### the whole time. :hot:
:lmao: Best answer by a mile. :blackdot:

 

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