Not mine, but funny - from http://www.scriptoriumdaily.com/2008/02/03...ing-of-the-end/
There are five reasons to think that a victory by the New England Patriots would make the beginning of the End.
What End?
Apocalypse.
Justice.
A world with cheap and affordable Diet Coke.
The End.
Reason One:
Bill Belichick sold his soul to Some One in order to start winning.
A losing coach in Cleveland, he suddenly became a genius. Why? Who is helping?
Angels don’t help cheaters.
Who would?
Draw your own conclusions.
Reason Two:
Brady is the result of grotesque genetic engineering using DNA from Joe Montana and Hannah Montana.
The result? A pretty boy who can play quarterback and win.
How in the name of Bart Starr can the West survive that?
Reason Three:
In the sane world of American greatness, the Red Sox lose the World Series, the Patsies lose to the Packers in the Super Bowl, and the Celtics fondly remember Larry Bird while playing like chumps in their new arena.
What will happen to us in a world where none of this is true?
Reason Four:
Randy Moss may win a championship without learning his lesson.
From Harry Potter to “Bud Plays Junior High Football,” the great sporting literature of the rise of the West has said that team matters and that self-centered money-grubbers are losers.
A new generation will learn that the Randy Moss way is their way making many mothers weep.
Reason Five:
New England’s aging and over rated defense will coast to victory on their offense thus rendering all Maddenisms anachronistic.
For years we have played Madden 19xx or 200x and been told:
“Defense wins championships.”
“Run the ball.”
“Punt and rely on your defense.”
All of that truth will be rendered a mocking lie if the Patriots win.
Education, hours of it, flushed by the mocking Patriots and their flash for cash.
There is not time to learn anew. . . and by the time we do, well the foes of all that is Good will have brought on the End.
Can the football Giants, still called this decades after the baseball Giants left won, preserve the Old and Good Ways?
In the name of Gifford, can another Manning stab the Brady through his cold heart, before Brady grows old and subjects us to the sight of another loutish Joe-Namath-type still pursuing super models in his questionable hair dotage on the strength of his Super Bowl wins?
Today the fate of civilization rests on the answer.
There are five reasons to think that a victory by the New England Patriots would make the beginning of the End.
What End?
Apocalypse.
Justice.
A world with cheap and affordable Diet Coke.
The End.
Reason One:
Bill Belichick sold his soul to Some One in order to start winning.
A losing coach in Cleveland, he suddenly became a genius. Why? Who is helping?
Angels don’t help cheaters.
Who would?
Draw your own conclusions.
Reason Two:
Brady is the result of grotesque genetic engineering using DNA from Joe Montana and Hannah Montana.
The result? A pretty boy who can play quarterback and win.
How in the name of Bart Starr can the West survive that?
Reason Three:
In the sane world of American greatness, the Red Sox lose the World Series, the Patsies lose to the Packers in the Super Bowl, and the Celtics fondly remember Larry Bird while playing like chumps in their new arena.
What will happen to us in a world where none of this is true?
Reason Four:
Randy Moss may win a championship without learning his lesson.
From Harry Potter to “Bud Plays Junior High Football,” the great sporting literature of the rise of the West has said that team matters and that self-centered money-grubbers are losers.
A new generation will learn that the Randy Moss way is their way making many mothers weep.
Reason Five:
New England’s aging and over rated defense will coast to victory on their offense thus rendering all Maddenisms anachronistic.
For years we have played Madden 19xx or 200x and been told:
“Defense wins championships.”
“Run the ball.”
“Punt and rely on your defense.”
All of that truth will be rendered a mocking lie if the Patriots win.
Education, hours of it, flushed by the mocking Patriots and their flash for cash.
There is not time to learn anew. . . and by the time we do, well the foes of all that is Good will have brought on the End.
Can the football Giants, still called this decades after the baseball Giants left won, preserve the Old and Good Ways?
In the name of Gifford, can another Manning stab the Brady through his cold heart, before Brady grows old and subjects us to the sight of another loutish Joe-Namath-type still pursuing super models in his questionable hair dotage on the strength of his Super Bowl wins?
Today the fate of civilization rests on the answer.
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