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Things not to do on an airplane... (1 Viewer)

scorchy

scorchy

Footballguy
I thought I had grown immune to people's bizarre behavior on airplanes but something last night left me completely baffled.

Flew to Orlando on SW. Grabbed the aisle seat in row 2.  Across the aisle was a young mom in the middle seat with a daughter on either side.  About 20 minutes into the flight, she calls the flight attendant and points out - in a pretty calm way - that the man in the row 1 aisle (in front of me) was watching porn on his tablet. 

Thinking she must be exaggerating and it was just a (still inappropriate for the situation) graphic R-rated flick, I peaked around the seat and dude is enjoying full-on porn, completely oblivious to the growing stir around him.

The flight attendant reprimanded the guy and he turned it off without incident and, surprisingly, nothing else happened till we got to the gate. I guess the mom decided that once we were on the ground she could go off a little bit, so she started shaming the guy really loudly. Was freaking awesome.

It's like word was passed down the rows, because on the monorail to the terminal, people kept pointing out the guy and telling other passengers "that's the man who was watching porn on a laptop in full view of a 4-year old."  Guy just kept staring straight ahead and didn't say a word.

I mean, who in the #### watches porn on an airplane? In the first row? Near small children?  Makes walking to the bathroom in bare feet seem amateur.

 
Not long ago a young woman was sitting across the isle a row in front of me. She had her phone up at eye level making it easy for pretty much anyone to see.  She was looking at photos of guys, maybe on a dating site. Whatever.

The next time I look over she is looking at photos of a woman in a thong. Then videos of a woman twerking in a thong.  It took me a minute to realize it was photos and videos of her.

I complained to no one.

 
McBokonon said:
What’s he supposed to do? It’s not like planes have public libraries in them.
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Or a large classroom. Still one of my favorites, the kid in class listening on his earphones not realizing that the laptop speakers are blaring the porn. The shame on his face was incredible. I wonder if he transferred because you know he became the porn guy on campus. Shocking he’d do it at all when he wasn’t even in the back row. 

 
scorchy said:
It's like word was passed down the rows, because on the monorail to the terminal, people kept pointing out the guy and telling other passengers "that's the man who was watching porn on a laptop in full view of a 4-year old."  Guy just kept staring straight ahead and didn't say a word.

I mean, who in the #### watches porn on an airplane? In the first row? Near small children?  Makes walking to the bathroom in bare feet seem amateur.
Click to expand...
Cancel culture!

 
one time i saw a guy watching a video of a plane while he was shooting a blue movie so that is a crazy little coinkidink right there take that to the bank brohans 

 
i’ve said this before, airports and airplanes must be giant spleefs or  hallucinogens, cause as soon people enter them they lose their minds.  oyster bar at 8a, can’t remember to take off shoes or belts, crowding, aimlessly standing and crowding aisles and obviously worse.

 
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scorchy said:
I mean, who in the #### watches porn on an airplane? In the first row? Near small children? 
Click to expand...
Should I not have done that? I tell you, I gotta plead ignorance on this thing, because if anyone had said anything to me at all when I first got on board that that sort of thing is frowned upon... you know, cause I've been on a lot of airplanes, and I tell you, people do that all the time.

 
Galileo said:
Should I not have done that? I tell you, I gotta plead ignorance on this thing, because if anyone had said anything to me at all when I first got on board that that sort of thing is frowned upon... you know, cause I've been on a lot of airplanes, and I tell you, people do that all the time.
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I think it might have been ok if you didn’t keep turning around to the mom and kids and waving. 

 
scorchy said:
I thought I had grown immune to people's bizarre behavior on airplanes but something last night left me completely baffled.

Flew to Orlando on SW. Grabbed the aisle seat in row 2.  Across the aisle was a young mom in the middle seat with a daughter on either side.  About 20 minutes into the flight, she calls the flight attendant and points out - in a pretty calm way - that the man in the row 1 aisle (in front of me) was watching porn on his tablet. 

Thinking she must be exaggerating and it was just a (still inappropriate for the situation) graphic R-rated flick, I peaked around the seat and dude is enjoying full-on porn, completely oblivious to the growing stir around him.

The flight attendant reprimanded the guy and he turned it off without incident and, surprisingly, nothing else happened till we got to the gate. I guess the mom decided that once we were on the ground she could go off a little bit, so she started shaming the guy really loudly. Was freaking awesome.

It's like word was passed down the rows, because on the monorail to the terminal, people kept pointing out the guy and telling other passengers "that's the man who was watching porn on a laptop in full view of a 4-year old."  Guy just kept staring straight ahead and didn't say a word.

I mean, who in the #### watches porn on an airplane? In the first row? Near small children?  Makes walking to the bathroom in bare feet seem amateur.
Click to expand...
Nevermind, 30 minutes late with the Costanza joke

 
Last edited by a moderator:
scorchy said:
I thought I had grown immune to people's bizarre behavior on airplanes but something last night left me completely baffled.

Flew to Orlando on SW. Grabbed the aisle seat in row 2.  Across the aisle was a young mom in the middle seat with a daughter on either side.  About 20 minutes into the flight, she calls the flight attendant and points out - in a pretty calm way - that the man in the row 1 aisle (in front of me) was watching porn on his tablet. 

Thinking she must be exaggerating and it was just a (still inappropriate for the situation) graphic R-rated flick, I peaked around the seat and dude is enjoying full-on porn, completely oblivious to the growing stir around him.

The flight attendant reprimanded the guy and he turned it off without incident and, surprisingly, nothing else happened till we got to the gate. I guess the mom decided that once we were on the ground she could go off a little bit, so she started shaming the guy really loudly. Was freaking awesome.

It's like word was passed down the rows, because on the monorail to the terminal, people kept pointing out the guy and telling other passengers "that's the man who was watching porn on a laptop in full view of a 4-year old."  Guy just kept staring straight ahead and didn't say a word.

I mean, who in the #### watches porn on an airplane? In the first row? Near small children?  Makes walking to the bathroom in bare feet seem amateur.
Click to expand...


heckmanm said:
Nevermind, 30 minutes late with the Costanza joke
Click to expand...
"Was that wrong?" 

 
On one of my last flights before COVID, I had a window seat and sat next to a 20 something male who had one of those Android phones that's the size of a small tablet.  The moment he sat down he flipped down the food tray to rest his hands/wrists on, pulled out his phone, elbowed me with a "check this #### out", and proceeded to flip back and forth between a snapchat thread with "Freak from Tri-Delt" and a normal text thread with "Wifey".  He spent the next twenty minutes before we took off sexting with the Tri-Delt young lady, elbowing me with some form of "dude, get a load of this chick" every time she sent him a nude photo.  He'd send her back a very graphic message, then flip back to Wifey and tell her how much he missed her and couldn't wait to see her again, what a long trip it had been, etc. Back to Tri-Delt lady with what he was going to do to her and what she should do to herself, all while documenting it with her camera obv.  Back to Wifey with discussions on what color to paint the bedroom.  After we got in the air he lost connection, kicked back and took a nap.  I did the same.  Once we were descending and he got his connection again I got woken up with another elbow to the ribs, a glowing screen pointed at me, and a "Duuuuuuuuuude, tell me this chick isn't a 10?" Apparently she'd sent him several pictures while we were airborne that he felt compelled to share with a total stranger.  :shrug:

 
wlwiles said:
Tri-Delt lady
Click to expand...
Ahhh, fly the friendly thighs.

---

About 3 years ago I was on a Canadian air flight coming back from Italy.  I was watching Ex Machina (great flick, hadn't ever seen it before).  So the part at the end comes on with Alicia going Full Monty.  Lady next to me gave me a huge stink eye.  Not really blaming her - I had no idea it had nudity, nor was I expecting the airline to not censor any nudity.  I was kind of stunned that I got the full treatment there.

Alicia is an absolute smoke show, BTW.

 
wlwiles said:
On one of my last flights before COVID, I had a window seat and sat next to a 20 something male who had one of those Android phones that's the size of a small tablet.  The moment he sat down he flipped down the food tray to rest his hands/wrists on, pulled out his phone, elbowed me with a "check this #### out", and proceeded to flip back and forth between a snapchat thread with "Freak from Tri-Delt" and a normal text thread with "Wifey".  He spent the next twenty minutes before we took off sexting with the Tri-Delt young lady, elbowing me with some form of "dude, get a load of this chick" every time she sent him a nude photo.  He'd send her back a very graphic message, then flip back to Wifey and tell her how much he missed her and couldn't wait to see her again, what a long trip it had been, etc. Back to Tri-Delt lady with what he was going to do to her and what she should do to herself, all while documenting it with her camera obv.  Back to Wifey with discussions on what color to paint the bedroom.  After we got in the air he lost connection, kicked back and took a nap.  I did the same.  Once we were descending and he got his connection again I got woken up with another elbow to the ribs, a glowing screen pointed at me, and a "Duuuuuuuuuude, tell me this chick isn't a 10?" Apparently she'd sent him several pictures while we were airborne that he felt compelled to share with a total stranger.  :shrug:
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I really expected this story to end with him getting the two chats confused and sending the wifey something intended for the tri-delt, and hilarity to ensue.

 
I've always said airline travel is the perfect microcosm of society.  People in their own world, oblivious to everything around them, the rules don't apply to them, etc.

I'm always still so surprised how hard it is for people to find their seat.

 
Dez89 said:
I've always said airline travel is the perfect microcosm of society.  People in their own world, oblivious to everything around them, the rules don't apply to them, etc.

I'm always still so surprised how hard it is for people to find their seat.
Click to expand...
I think my biggest surprise is how everybody immediately stands up when the plane arrives for deboard and then everybody waits impatiently with a significant portion trying to leave before the rows ahead of them. Just blows me away that people can't seem to understand that they aren't going anywhere until the rows leave ahead of them that they may as well remain seated. 

I may be spoiled re this because, in college, while it wasn't a rule is was a huge and clear social expectation/norm that you don't get up from your seat on the bus (my college had two campuses three miles apart so busing back and forth was very common) until it's your turn. Made total sense to me. But then I get on planes and it's chaos. 

 
Zow said:
I think my biggest surprise is how everybody immediately stands up when the plane arrives for deboard and then everybody waits impatiently with a significant portion trying to leave before the rows ahead of them. Just blows me away that people can't seem to understand that they aren't going anywhere until the rows leave ahead of them that they may as well remain seated. 

I may be spoiled re this because, in college, while it wasn't a rule is was a huge and clear social expectation/norm that you don't get up from your seat on the bus (my college had two campuses three miles apart so busing back and forth was very common) until it's your turn. Made total sense to me. But then I get on planes and it's chaos. 
Click to expand...
This drives me up the wall as well.  My favorite is when I am in the aisle seat and am getting the stink eye from the middle and window seats because I am the only one not standing.  If they seem particularly antsy I will put my carry-on in my lap so they know that I will in fact be ready when the time comes.

 
Dr_Zaius said:
This drives me up the wall as well.  My favorite is when I am in the aisle seat and am getting the stink eye from the middle and window seats because I am the only one not standing.  If they seem particularly antsy I will put my carry-on in my lap so they know that I will in fact be ready when the time comes.
Click to expand...
Makes me irrationally mental. If I’m on the end I generally stand in the aisle so people behind me can’t go until everyone in front of us has cleared out. 
 

I also don’t get the hurry to get on the plane either. I’d rather walk 10ft to access my carry-on than swarm the gate like an inconsiderate #####.

 
Zow said:
I think my biggest surprise is how everybody immediately stands up when the plane arrives for deboard and then everybody waits impatiently with a significant portion trying to leave before the rows ahead of them. Just blows me away that people can't seem to understand that they aren't going anywhere until the rows leave ahead of them that they may as well remain seated. 

I may be spoiled re this because, in college, while it wasn't a rule is was a huge and clear social expectation/norm that you don't get up from your seat on the bus (my college had two campuses three miles apart so busing back and forth was very common) until it's your turn. Made total sense to me. But then I get on planes and it's chaos. 
Click to expand...
After being crammed in an airline seat for however many hours, I'm standing up as soon as I'm able to, whether I can go anywhere or not.

 
Yippee I get to experience all of this bullhocky on Wednesday.  First time on a plane in a long, long time.  Used to travel at least once a month.  Will be back to doing that in a few months.

 
BrutalPenguin said:
After being crammed in an airline seat for however many hours, I'm standing up as soon as I'm able to, whether I can go anywhere or not.
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Sure. 

But then why awkwardly stand there hovering over the person next to you for ten minutes?

 
E-Z Glider said:
I also don’t get the hurry to get on the plane either. I’d rather walk 10ft to access my carry-on than swarm the gate like an inconsiderate #####.
Click to expand...
Absolutely.  I usually take a carry-on that will fit under my seat.  In this scenario, I'm fine with being the last one to board the plane, especially on a cross-country flight.  You're going to be crammed on the thing for 6 hours, why are you rushing?

 
Zow said:
I think my biggest surprise is how everybody immediately stands up when the plane arrives for deboard and then everybody waits impatiently with a significant portion trying to leave before the rows ahead of them. Just blows me away that people can't seem to understand that they aren't going anywhere until the rows leave ahead of them that they may as well remain seated. 

I may be spoiled re this because, in college, while it wasn't a rule is was a huge and clear social expectation/norm that you don't get up from your seat on the bus (my college had two campuses three miles apart so busing back and forth was very common) until it's your turn. Made total sense to me. But then I get on planes and it's chaos. 
Click to expand...
One thing Avianca (Colombian airline) started doing for Covid (and I pray to God they continue to and that it spills over to all the other airlines) is announce the seats that can get up and go: rows 1-3 on the right, rows 1-3 on the left, rows 4-6 on the right, rows 4-6 on the left, etc.  And the flight attendant stands in the aisle until those passengers are out then moves to the back of the next rows letting out.  And if someone stands when they're not supposed to, they get called out on the intercom to sit down "ONLY rows 1-3 on the LEFT."

I loooooove it.

 
I once changed a ####y diaper in the isle ... and it was full blown nasty stank. Got some hard core stink eye from several passengers.

I didn't know it could be done in those tiny lavs until the flight attendant informed me after the fact.

 
Bossman said:
I once changed a ####y diaper in the isle ... and it was full blown nasty stank. Got some hard core stink eye from several passengers.

I didn't know it could be done in those tiny lavs until the flight attendant informed me after the fact.
Click to expand...
I'm sorry you had to wear a diaper on a plane.  I hope better gastro days are ahead for you, but at least..now you know. 

 
Skipdog77 said:
I'm sorry you had to wear a diaper on a plane.  I hope better gastro days are ahead for you, but at least..now you know. 
Click to expand...
I blame the refried bean burrito back at the Logan airport food court.

... Between that and the cabin pressure malfunction, ... I didn't stand a chance.

 
Zow said:
I think my biggest surprise is how everybody immediately stands up when the plane arrives for deboard and then everybody waits impatiently with a significant portion trying to leave before the rows ahead of them. Just blows me away that people can't seem to understand that they aren't going anywhere until the rows leave ahead of them that they may as well remain seated. 

I may be spoiled re this because, in college, while it wasn't a rule is was a huge and clear social expectation/norm that you don't get up from your seat on the bus (my college had two campuses three miles apart so busing back and forth was very common) until it's your turn. Made total sense to me. But then I get on planes and it's chaos. 
Click to expand...
To go hand in hand with this description is what takes so f-ing long for people to get off the damn plane.  it's not like it's a surprise.  Prepare and be ready so it doesn't take 15 minutes for you to de-board.  If you happen to have your bag stowed  a few rows behind you then your are SOL and should sit in your seat and wait until you have space to go back and not swim upstream like a salmon.  It will be much quicker to just let people de-board then fight the traffic.  

 
  • Smile
Reactions: Zow
wlwiles said:
On one of my last flights before COVID, I had a window seat and sat next to a 20 something male who had one of those Android phones that's the size of a small tablet.  The moment he sat down he flipped down the food tray to rest his hands/wrists on, pulled out his phone, elbowed me with a "check this #### out", and proceeded to flip back and forth between a snapchat thread with "Freak from Tri-Delt" and a normal text thread with "Wifey".  He spent the next twenty minutes before we took off sexting with the Tri-Delt young lady, elbowing me with some form of "dude, get a load of this chick" every time she sent him a nude photo.  He'd send her back a very graphic message, then flip back to Wifey and tell her how much he missed her and couldn't wait to see her again, what a long trip it had been, etc. Back to Tri-Delt lady with what he was going to do to her and what she should do to herself, all while documenting it with her camera obv.  Back to Wifey with discussions on what color to paint the bedroom.  After we got in the air he lost connection, kicked back and took a nap.  I did the same.  Once we were descending and he got his connection again I got woken up with another elbow to the ribs, a glowing screen pointed at me, and a "Duuuuuuuuuude, tell me this chick isn't a 10?" Apparently she'd sent him several pictures while we were airborne that he felt compelled to share with a total stranger.  :shrug:
Click to expand...
One day the guy next to 20-something guy will elbow him back and show him pics that 20-something guy's wife sent HIM :pickle:

-QG

 
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