things old white women say (1 Viewer)

[Scoresman]

Marilyn: Oh dear, Susan, I couldn't possibly have another margarita!
*Mexican waiter named Jesus walks by*
Jesus: Ah! Madam! Would you like another?
*Marilyn checks pocket watch frantically, sweat beads down her forebrow as she realizes that it is 6:52, 8 minutes before Margarita Happy Hour ends*
Marilyn (*nervously excited*): Yes, of course Pedro, one more!
Susan (*teasingly*): Oh my, Marilyn, how boisterous!

 

[LinusMarr]

Isnt calling the waiter "Pedro" racist? lol

 

[rockaction]

Marilyn: Oh dear, Susan, I couldn't possibly have another margarita!

*Mexican waiter named Jesus walks by*

Jesus: Ah! Madam! Would you like another?

*Marilyn checks pocket watch frantically, sweat beads down her forebrow as she realizes that it is 6:52, 8 minutes before Margarita Happy Hour ends*

Marilyn (*nervously excited*): Yes, of course Pedro, one more!

Susan (*teasingly*): Oh my, Marilyn, how boisterous!

Now, if she knew his name was Jesus, then that's funny.

 

[LinusMarr]

Marilyn: Oh dear, Susan, I couldn't possibly have another margarita!

*Mexican waiter named Jesus walks by*

Jesus: Ah! Madam! Would you like another?

*Marilyn checks pocket watch frantically, sweat beads down her forebrow as she realizes that it is 6:52, 8 minutes before Margarita Happy Hour ends*

Marilyn (*nervously excited*): Yes, of course Pedro, one more!

Susan (*teasingly*): Oh my, Marilyn, how boisterous!

Now, if she knew his name was Jesus, then that's funny.

I used to piss off my spanish teacher fiercly by always pronouncing the "J's" in spanish as J's instead of H's when i was reading just to get a rise out of her. She didnt have a great sense of humor....

 

[Captain Quinoa]

Marilyn: Oh dear, Susan, I couldn't possibly have another margarita!

*Mexican waiter named Jesus walks by*

Jesus: Ah! Madam! Would you like another?

*Marilyn checks pocket watch frantically, sweat beads down her forebrow as she realizes that it is 6:52, 8 minutes before Margarita Happy Hour ends*

Marilyn (*nervously excited*): Yes, of course Pedro, one more!

Susan (*teasingly*): Oh my, Marilyn, how boisterous!

Now, if she knew his name was Jesus, then that's funny.

I used to piss off my spanish teacher fiercly by always pronouncing the "J's" in spanish as J's instead of H's when i was reading just to get a rise out of her. She didnt have a great sense of humor....

Epic bro

 

[Parrothead]

where da black men at?

 

[Two Deep]

I think it would be real swell if you and that nice young lady you are dating would stop by for some cookies and coffee.

 

[McGarnicle]

Oh my word! Your business is so big! I'm out of KY but I've found that Crisco will do in a pinch!

 

[Parrothead]

OH PARROTHEAD!! I HAVEN'T BEEN ####ED LIKE THIS IN 20 YEARS!!

 

[LinusMarr]

Marilyn: Oh dear, Susan, I couldn't possibly have another margarita!

*Mexican waiter named Jesus walks by*

Jesus: Ah! Madam! Would you like another?

*Marilyn checks pocket watch frantically, sweat beads down her forebrow as she realizes that it is 6:52, 8 minutes before Margarita Happy Hour ends*

Marilyn (*nervously excited*): Yes, of course Pedro, one more!

Susan (*teasingly*): Oh my, Marilyn, how boisterous!

Now, if she knew his name was Jesus, then that's funny.

I used to piss off my spanish teacher fiercly by always pronouncing the "J's" in spanish as J's instead of H's when i was reading just to get a rise out of her. She didnt have a great sense of humor....

Epic bro

A little Linus trivia for ya...

 

[SacramentoBob]

Marilyn: Oh dear, Susan, I couldn't possibly have another margarita!

*Mexican waiter named Jesus walks by*

Jesus: Ah! Madam! Would you like another?

*Marilyn checks pocket watch frantically, sweat beads down her forebrow as she realizes that it is 6:52, 8 minutes before Margarita Happy Hour ends*

Marilyn (*nervously excited*): Yes, of course Pedro, one more!

Susan (*teasingly*): Oh my, Marilyn, how boisterous!

Now, if she knew his name was Jesus, then that's funny.

I used to piss off my spanish teacher fiercly by always pronouncing the "J's" in spanish as J's instead of H's when i was reading just to get a rise out of her. She didnt have a great sense of humor....

Epic bro

There was an episode of Lassie when one of Timmy's classmates did this. Couldn't find it on Youtube.

 

[ClownCausedChaos2]

Oh my word! Your business is so big! I'm out of KY but I've found that Crisco will do in a pinch!

What sort of business do you have?

 

[rockaction]

Oh my word! Your business is so big! I'm out of KY but I've found that Crisco will do in a pinch!

Who runs out of Kentucky?

Oh, wait, everyone but Ashley Judd and Pitino.

 

[ClownCausedChaos2]

Marilyn: Oh dear, Susan, I couldn't possibly have another margarita!

*Mexican waiter named Jesus walks by*

Jesus: Ah! Madam! Would you like another?

*Marilyn checks pocket watch frantically, sweat beads down her forebrow as she realizes that it is 6:52, 8 minutes before Margarita Happy Hour ends*

Marilyn (*nervously excited*): Yes, of course Pedro, one more!

Susan (*teasingly*): Oh my, Marilyn, how boisterous!

Was it on water?

 

[lakerstan]

My grandmother would often say things like, "We went to the store the other day. A black man helped us, but he was still very nice"

 

[Keerock]

Oh my word! Your business is so big! I'm out of KY but I've found that Christo will do in a pinch!

She must be hairy...

 

[ClownCausedChaos2]

My grandmother would often say things like, "We went to the store the other day. A black man helped us, but he was still very nice"

Linus would like to know what idating site she's on.

 

[mquinnjr]

"A sea of waiters, and no one will take a drink order"

 

[LinusMarr]

My grandmother would often say things like, "We went to the store the other day. A black man helped us, but he was still very nice"

Linus would like to know what idating site she's on.

LOL, i probably already "winked" at her

 

[Captain Quinoa]

My grandmother would often say things like, "We went to the store the other day. A black man helped us, but he was still very nice"

One time my MIL was buying something and the cashier asked if anyone had helped her find what she needed.

"Yes, the, uhhh, darker gentleman."

 

[LinusMarr]

My grandmother would often say things like, "We went to the store the other day. A black man helped us, but he was still very nice"

One time my MIL was buying something and the cashier asked if anyone had helped her find what she needed.

"Yes, the, uhhh, darker gentleman."

When i was really little my grandmother and I were fishing, I caught a big two pound carp, well to me it was big anyway. I was pretty excited and asked grandma if we can cook it and eat it. She said "No son, we dont eat that but the colored people do". So i saw grandma take my fish and walk it over to where some african american People were fishing. They took my fish, ill never forget that. Funny what you remember as a kid....

 

[RBM]

My grandmother would often say things like, "We went to the store the other day. A black man helped us, but he was still very nice"

Linus would like to know what idating site she's on.

LOL, i probably already "winked" at her

 

[bryhamm]

Marilyn: Oh dear, Susan, I couldn't possibly have another margarita!

*Mexican waiter named Jesus walks by*

Jesus: Ah! Madam! Would you like another?

*Marilyn checks pocket watch frantically, sweat beads down her forebrow as she realizes that it is 6:52, 8 minutes before Margarita Happy Hour ends*

Marilyn (*nervously excited*): Yes, of course Pedro, one more!

Susan (*teasingly*): Oh my, Marilyn, how boisterous!

Now, if she knew his name was Jesus, then that's funny.

I used to piss off my spanish teacher fiercly by always pronouncing the "J's" in spanish as J's instead of H's when i was reading just to get a rise out of her. She didnt have a great sense of humor....

Did she wonder what a blow hob was?

 

[LinusMarr]

Marilyn: Oh dear, Susan, I couldn't possibly have another margarita!

*Mexican waiter named Jesus walks by*

Jesus: Ah! Madam! Would you like another?

*Marilyn checks pocket watch frantically, sweat beads down her forebrow as she realizes that it is 6:52, 8 minutes before Margarita Happy Hour ends*

Marilyn (*nervously excited*): Yes, of course Pedro, one more!

Susan (*teasingly*): Oh my, Marilyn, how boisterous!

Now, if she knew his name was Jesus, then that's funny.

I used to piss off my spanish teacher fiercly by always pronouncing the "J's" in spanish as J's instead of H's when i was reading just to get a rise out of her. She didnt have a great sense of humor....

Did she wonder what a blow hob was?

I am sure she probably wanted to shoke me with a shain.....

 

[SHIZNITTTT]

"hand me some of those Brazilian Nuts Marge."

 

[LinusMarr]

"hand me some of those Brazilian Nuts Marge."

Grandpa "Bud" had a funny name for those, cant quite recall it at the moment....

 

[McGarnicle]

I hired a little colored fellow to clean my gutters and he stole my lawnmower while I was watching the Wheel of Fortune.

 

[Leroy Hoard]

My grandmother would often say things like, "We went to the store the other day. A black man helped us, but he was still very nice"

One time my MIL was buying something and the cashier asked if anyone had helped her find what she needed.

"Yes, the, uhhh, darker gentleman."

Reminds me of my favorite Archie Bunker bit. He was explaining to Meathead that there were two Elmos where he worked. There was "Black Elmo" and then there was "Regular Elmo".

 

[17seconds]

Dear can you check my pocketbook to see if I have enough quarters for canasta?

 

[Leroy Hoard]

Dear can you check my pocketbook to see if I have enough quarters for canasta?

Also works for tips before going out to eat.

 

[belljr]

Davenport

 

[Rubi]

"When I found out what MILF meant,I felt much better about myself"

 

[ClownCausedChaos2]

"Is BangBros down for anyone else?"

 

[Timmay]

The only candies I have is butterscotch and peppermint.

 

[Leroy Hoard]

"Honey, it's alright if those kids are on our lawn"

 

[lakerstan]

"hand me some of those Brazilian Nuts Marge."

Grandpa "Bud" had a funny name for those, cant quite recall it at the moment....

My other grandmother had a name for those, and I recall EXACTLY what that was...

 

[loser]

Roll up the window. You're letting the stank out!

 

[Dr. Gobbler]

"hand me some of those Brazilian Nuts Marge."

Grandpa "Bud" had a funny name for those, cant quite recall it at the moment....

My other grandmother had a name for those, and I recall EXACTLY what that was...

Did it have the word "toes" in there, somewhere?

 

[LinusMarr]

"hand me some of those Brazilian Nuts Marge."

Grandpa "Bud" had a funny name for those, cant quite recall it at the moment....

My other grandmother had a name for those, and I recall EXACTLY what that was...

Did it have the word "toes" in there, somewhere?

Why yes i believe so!

 

[Keerock]

"hand me some of those Brazilian Nuts Marge."

Grandpa "Bud" had a funny name for those, cant quite recall it at the moment....

My other grandmother had a name for those, and I recall EXACTLY what that was...

Did it have the word "toes" in there, somewhere?

Why yes i believe so!

Jose Toes?

 

[NCCommish]

"hand me some of those Brazilian Nuts Marge."

Grandpa "Bud" had a funny name for those, cant quite recall it at the moment....

My other grandmother had a name for those, and I recall EXACTLY what that was...

Did it have the word "toes" in there, somewhere?

Why yes i believe so!

Jose Toes?

No way

 

[RBM]

"hand me some of those Brazilian Nuts Marge."

Grandpa "Bud" had a funny name for those, cant quite recall it at the moment....

 

[Kenny Powers]

"hand me some of those Brazilian Nuts Marge."

Grandpa "Bud" had a funny name for those, cant quite recall it at the moment....

My other grandmother had a name for those, and I recall EXACTLY what that was...

Did it have the word "toes" in there, somewhere?

Same with my grandparents

 

[Plorfu]

Hello? Yes, this is Gertrude. Oh, that sounds legitimate and you seem trustworthy. Let me just go get my checkbook.

 

[fatness]

"The end is purple"

NSFW a little

 

[Kenny Powers]

"The end is purple"

NSFW a little

Pretty sure Ive seen these old broads doing like a twerking video or something. I guess theyre hip, but its all shtick.

 

[ChainsawU]

I'll have a fish sandwich and a Sanka.

 

[Doctor Detroit]

They should have a TV show called, #### my Meemaw says. My Grandma is 92 and she's always been salty. Last time I went to see her she said the "old bitty next door is trying to steal my soul." By soul she meant magazines, and by steal she meant that the lady was reading the same magazine she was at dinner. I think she wants to die but she's too stubborn.

 

[Dan Lambskin]

"I've fallen...and I can't get up"

 

[Leroy Hoard]

They should have a TV show called, #### my Meemaw says. My Grandma is 92 and she's always been salty. Last time I went to see her she said the "old bitty next door is trying to steal my soul." By soul she meant magazines, and by steal she meant that the lady was reading the same magazine she was at dinner. I think she wants to die but she's too stubborn.

My grandmother would of kicked your grandmothers ###

MMA should have a female over 80 division.