Things you would prefer not to hear (1 Viewer)

[Ministry of Pain]

New Acquaintance: "So have you always been husky?"

Wife: "Tomorrow is trash pick up day."

Waitress: "We're fresh out of grouper."

Old HS friend you try to distance yourself from: "We're in town this weekend, let's have brunch on Sunday!"

Wife: "We can go to Ikea on the way."

Poker Table yag-off: "How many chips you have?"

Bartender: "We just have Patron."

Wife: "I need to run to the mall, we can eat lunch together while we're out."

 

[Aerial Assault]

FFA Randoms: "This TV show is critically acclaimed, but bores me. Where zall th'exploshuns?"

 

[msommer]

Wife: I'm the only one cleaning in this house...

Doctor: It's terminal

 

[jon_mx]

MoP: "I am your child's new math teacher."

 

[northern exposure]

Random FFA person - "Look, MoP started another thread".

 

[Leroy Hoard]

"you are going deaf"

 

[Ministry of Pain]

Random FFA person - "Look, MoP started another thread".

It's been awhile

 

[Dentist]

We need to talk

 

[Nipsey]

I'm late

 

[TxBuckeye]

You should probably get tested too.

 

[Ilov80s]

We need to talk

Easily, no matter who says it, it is never good. It is a guarantee you are about to be annoyed and have your time wasted.

 

[gethugefast1]

have a seat, i'm chris hanson

 

[Brony]

Bend over

 

[Henry Ford]

Barber: Whoops

Doctor: Well, I've never seen that before.

Judge: I appreciate your argument, and I agree with it on some level, but...

Cashier: Our credit card machine is down

Stripper: You look like my Dad

 

[Fennis]

Hooker - "Welcome to the world of AIDS"

 

[AAABatteries]

Are you done yet?

 

[grateful zed]

rap, bowel movements, car horns, women.

 

[KCitons]

It's twins!

 

[Fennis]

Girlfirend - Maybe my brother can give you some tips.

 

[rockaction]

Yankees win, Yankees win, thaaaaaaaa Yankees win.

 

[grateful zed]

the rabbit died

 

[Fennis]

"Is Jesus Christ your personal savier?"

 

[Fennis]

"OK Republican candidates, how many of you believe in evolution?"

 

[KCitons]

"is it in?"

 

[Sinn Fein]

"We removed the wrong, testicle. We need to go back in."

 

[Ilov80s]

Barber: Whoops

Doctor: Well, I've never seen that before.

Judge: I appreciate your argument, and I agree with it on some level, but...

Cashier: Our credit card machine is down

Stripper: You look like my Dad

Agree on all except the last one. Those daddy issues run deep.

 

[Cliff Clavin]

Circular incision? I thought it said circumcision. oops.

 

[TxBuckeye]

Malaysian Airline Pilot" "Watch this!!!"

 

[SacramentoBob]

It's a boy.

 

[AAABatteries]

I used to have a penis and it was a lot bigger than yours.

 

[sports_fan]

"I now pronounce you husband and wife"

 

[Nipsey]

..and now let's throw it over to Jimmy Roberts

 

[Nipsey]

Welcome to college football on ESPN, I'm Pam Ward.

 

[Apple Jack]

Guy comes running into the bathroom and slams the door of the stall next to you and screams OPEN THE BOMBAY DOORS.

 

[KCitons]

Guy comes running into the bathroom and slams the door of the stall next to you and screams OPEN THE BOMBAY DOORS.

Dr Bombay?

 

[Leroy Hoard]

Guy comes running into the bathroom and slams the door of the stall next to you and screams OPEN THE BOMBAY DOORS.

Dr Bombay?

Guy had the worst job of all the witches/warlocks. Every time he was trying to do something he got called in for a house call.

 

[CurlyNight]

When someone you loved has passed, some fam members saying don't wait until I'm dead to touch base or something to that effect, when yes I have been a bit mia for a good reason....

 

[Raider Nation]

"MOP is on the phone for you."

 

[Raider Nation]

Sportsbook: "We've cut your limits. Now please #### off."

 

[Tom Servo]

"you are going deaf"

WHAT??

 

[Christo]

Are you done yet?

That just encourages me to keep going.

 

[Leroy Hoard]

"you are going deaf"

WHAT??

Sorry, I'm having problems with my eyes today. What did you say?

 

[wazoo11]

Dad, I'm a pornstar.

 

[Leroy Hoard]

Dad, I'm a pornstar.

Ron Jeremy Sr: "Really?"

 

[The Big Guy]

Cardiologist - Does your mom have a living will?

 

[chauncey]

Wrong hole.

 

[SacramentoBob]

Wrong hole.

 

[chauncey]

Wrong hole.

Wrong thread, I was looking for the drunk thread and wandered into this place. Carry on.

 

[chauncey]

From the police: Have you been drinking?

 

[AAABatteries]

Wrong hole.

You meant to stick it in his mouth?