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Tough situation with prospective landlord, WWYD? (1 Viewer)

Caveman33

Caveman33

Footballguy
This old lady has partitioned off a section of her house into something like a 1 bedroom apartment. It's in a crummy neighborhood but only $1,000/month and I've been eager to have a private space free of other low rent roommates.  The main issue was that she still needed to get back the key from her previous tenant who had split after living there for only 3 days. 

The previous tenant, a young girl, had not paid any rent but she has been demanding her $1,000 security deposit back.  Yesterday, I agreed to move in at the middle of the month so now the landlord could offer the girl half the deposit in exchange for the key and a few things that the girl stole.  I was worried about how smoothly this exchange would go.  The old lady has limited mobility and is apparently unable to lift even 10 pounds.

So I called this afternoon around the time she usually wakes up.  "Were you able to get a hold of the girl?" I asked.  The old lady was annoyed.  "I told you I would call once I've taken care of everything...She returned my message this morning and said she would be coming around 6 or 7 this evening."  Great, I said, would it be alright if I come over? I won't cause any problems, I just want to make sure she doesn't give you a hard time. The lady didn't care for this idea.  "I don't know exactly when she will show up.  You really are a worrier."

I didn't expect the girl to beat up the landlord but I did think she would sabotage the room.  The landlord called later.  Apparently, the girl demanded her rental application back and refused to give the landlord a signed paper stating that she was receiving $500 until the landlord gave her the money.  The landlord decided they would exchange the money with one hand while exchanging the paper with the other.  This didn't work out so well.  The girl just snatched the money and the paperwork, tossed the landlord aside, kept the key and then threw all the furniture around before leaving.

The landlord didn't want to call the police to make an incident report.  She couldn't even remember the girl's last name because it was only written on the rental application. I'm sure she wasn't watching when the girl collected her stuff from the laundry room and bathroom.  Those were some of the areas I was most concerned about as it would be where she could cause the most damage.

I feel bad for this old lady--from what she has told me her life is really miserable--but I'm having second thoughts about moving into this place.  I was already ignoring a bunch of red flags and I'm tired of putting myself into ####ty living situations that inevitably burn me in the end.  I can't even shake the small thought that maybe the old lady is manipulating me.  She gave me a receipt for the $500 I already put towards the deposit and I have not signed a lease.  She is upset that if I don't move in, she will be out the $500 she just gave back to the young girl.  

I recently bought a tent and sleeping mat and I was planning to get a gym membership so that I could try my hand at the homeless life.  WWYD?

 
I wouldn't feel bad for the old lady if you decide to back out. You offered to be there in case there were problems, and she told you to go to hell. 

Then again, there's really not much that someone could do to damage a washer/dryer or toilet/sink in a few minutes that wouldn't be immediately obvious if you do a quick check for leaks in the water lines while they are running.

 
Juxtatarot said:
Just one lock? She needs to get it changed.
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Right.  Even before last night, I told her I would change the lock at my expense because she didn't think it was necessary.  Her bathroom is shared with the 1 bedroom and she doesn't have an internal lock for herself. I asked her if she felt safe sleeping there last night and she said she had locked the sliding door from the inside so she was fine.

 
jobarules said:
Is there someone you can crash with until you find a new apartment? This sounds like a situation to avoid. 
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I've moved quite a bit lately.  I voluntarily paid for my last room through this month, gave them my security deposit and threw out all my stuff before spending a couple nights walking around/sleeping in the park.  It's a long story, I tried to check into the VA psych ward but was rejected.  I was pretty down about that but then an old lady in a nice neighborhood who cooks meals called and said she would try to do that again.  It was great for my health but she'd never had someone who could eat as much as me and her health is failing so it was too much work for her.  I didn't want to stay there without the meals so I was planning to do my tent thing but then I saw an ad for daily rental in another nice neighborhood, which is where I've been this last week. 

The owner is very nice and has even offered to reduce my rent if I stay.  He thinks I'm making a terrible mistake with this new old lady in the bad neighborhood.  There are a lot of positives to staying where I'm at and some of the negatives have been resolved.  One thing that makes me uneasy is having the 3rd bedroom rented to random people but all of the guys who've passed through have been good dudes.  I also worry that while the owner likes me, I may be getting on his boyfriend's nerves because I talk a lot about trivial stuff and my personality rubs some people wrong.

 
nysfl2 said:
I wouldn't feel bad for the old lady if you decide to back out. You offered to be there in case there were problems, and she told you to go to hell. 

Then again, there's really not much that someone could do to damage a washer/dryer or toilet/sink in a few minutes that wouldn't be immediately obvious if you do a quick check for leaks in the water lines while they are running.
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The old lady told me I remind her of her son who died a few months ago.  Her body is in chronic pain and she lays awake in bed all night while thinking of him and crying to herself.

I agree that most damage should be obvious which was why I wanted to go over today to check the place out, which the landlord resisted by telling me that she was busy and I should just come over when I'm ready to move in.  She tried to get me to do a walk through 2 days ago when I gave her half the deposit.  I said No, I want to wait until after the girl comes back.  It's extremely unlikely that the girl is devious or crafty enough to do anything beyond the obvious stuff that she already did but I developed a bad infection from a weird chemical exposure at my last permanent place and I'm paranoid about exposing my weakened immune system to anything nefarious.

 
bushdocda said:
She should pay you. Wtf. 
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Kal El said:
That whole situation sounds like it’s going to just get worse. I’d find another place to live, it’s not worth the hassle.
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As much as I feel bad for this old lady, I don't want to make her problems mine when I have enough of my own that I'm trying to work through.  I am probably the ideal tenant for her because I am honest and enjoy being helpful for free.  She needs help with little things and also wants to pay handymen for small repairs that I am capable of doing for free.  (Handymen are a topic for a whole other thread.  The other old lady I was staying with a couple weeks ago has been getting taken for a ride by a series of terrible handymen.  They keep causing more harm than good in their attempted repairs and it was mostly stuff that was functional to begin with but she wants her kitchen to look perfect for a party that she keeps postponing.  I offered to help for free but she is a stubborn old lady and said she doesn't like to accept help from renters so she was wearing herself down trying to fix the damage herself.  I needed her well rested so she could keep cooking those amazing meals because by the 2nd night I could correctly see the writing on the wall.) 

I want to resolve this current situation in a way that works for both of us.  Her house is a few blocks from the scam school which I need to attend for 1 more month.  It's convenient but I also don't have a problem walking or biking 6 miles to school from the nicer neighborhoods where I have been staying.  I'm thinking I should offer to stay for 1 month only.  This way she is getting the 30 day notice and she doesn't need to scramble to find someone in a couple days or be at a loss for the $500 she just returned to the girl.  However, I don't want to give her any security deposit.  Even though I mostly trust her, I don't want to risk paying more for this place in the end when I already think it is overpriced for the neighborhood.  There is a reason why it sat empty for 2 months before she accepted the last girl. Most drug/alcohol free people with all their teeth would never choose to live there.  Though I doubt the disgruntled girl or her friends are going to return, I would be staying there during the time when that slim possibility is most likely so it almost feels like the old lady should give me a security deposit.  I think the old lady will balk at the idea of me staying there without giving her a security deposit.  She has had a string of bad tenants and is clearly a terrible judge of character so there is no reason for her to recognize that I am different.  In that case, I suppose I will feel less guilt in saying OK, give me back my $500, I'm not moving in.

 
yak651 said:
Unless you have an awesome job that you can never replace I would move to a less expensive area where it doesn't cost 1 rack to live in a makeshift room/apartment.
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I moved here for the ideal year round weather and have been unemployed my whole time aside from a few months when I did weekend landscaping at a golf course so that I could golf for free during the week.  I am milking the GI Bill but the current program is over in a month at which point I could move.  My resume is horrible, it's difficult for me to be considered for a job that pays more than minimum wage and dealing with minimum wage co-workers and supervisors is tiresome so I'd rather not work at all.  I've never collected unemployment, nor tried for a military disability and I still have enough self respect to not go down that road but I would like to minimize my expenses so that all I have to pay for is food as my food bill is extremely high.  There are way too many legit homeless in my city and I certainly don't want to be surrounded by drug addicted thieves so I'm thinking I will try to move further out to a suburb where I can be a homeless glamper.

 
Getzlaf15 said:
Worst Tuesday post ever.

No landlord would ever care about the key. They would just change the locks and get new keys.
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You're wrong.  This lady used to be a legal secretary and said she has read through the landlord/tenant code book three times.  I'm obviously not as well versed but I don't think you can change the locks on a tenant that left stuff behind, especially if you plan to retain their security deposit as compensation for unpaid rent.

 
Caveman33 said:
You're wrong.  This lady used to be a legal secretary and said she has read through the landlord/tenant code book three times.  I'm obviously not as well versed but I don't think you can change the locks on a tenant that left stuff behind, especially if you plan to retain their security deposit as compensation for unpaid rent.
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username checks out.  :lmao:

So what is a landlord to do with stuff left behind according to the legal secretary?  :lmao: :cry:

 
Getzlaf15 said:
username checks out.  :lmao:

So what is a landlord to do with stuff left behind according to the legal secretary?  :lmao: :cry:
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I'll have to ask her, I'm just a caveman.  We'll see how our conversation goes in a couple hours.  I didn't sleep well last night.

 
She didn't answer. We'll see if she returns my message.  She is probably going to try to keep my $500.  The way she wrote my receipt makes me think she may have legal standing, but maybe not.  Either way, legality is not that important to me.  I'm at a point in life where it's not wise for anyone to cross me.  Sleeping in a cell, eating 3 meals and working out with the boys doesn't sound that bad.  I'm a good person, honestly, just tired of getting screwed over and I'm not gonna give a crafty old woman a pass.

 
belljr said:
Alias checks out
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Right.  As if on cue she returns my call and when I said that I don't want to move in, she sadly asks if she can at least pay me to buy and install a new deadbolt.  What a mind#### this is turning into.  I was starting to imagine that she's some evil, conniving woman when in reality she is likely a broken old person dealing with a string of dead beats.  Maybe I should just install the deadbolt, tell her to keep my money and wander off with my tent and bag of clothes.

 
So this other tenant came back, pushed her down, and trashed the place?  WTF?

Offer her "protection" for free rent

 
ghostguy123 said:
So this other tenant came back, pushed her down, and trashed the place?  WTF?

Offer her "protection" for free rent
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That is what she told me happened.  I haven't been there or seen her since I forked over the money two days ago. 

I'm more scared of the old lady than the young punk.  She probably won't poison me in my sleep but would she rifle through my stuff when I'm gone?  I objected to putting my social on her rental application.  I've held onto my personal documents cause maybe I want to be part of normal society in the future.  If I stayed there, I guess I would just have to keep them on me whenever I leave the house.

 
Thorpe said:
"So I called this afternoon around the time she usually wakes up."

I'm curious how you know what time she wakes up?
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She has told me multiple times that she can't do anything before 4pm because she lays in bed all night and cries while thinking about her dead son and doesn't actually fall asleep until the morning.

 
ghostguy123 said:
Nowhere else you can live eh?
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I suppose this is just another in a series of poor choices.

She called again while I was walking home and I said I would buy and install the new deadbolt for free.  Her late wake up time makes it challenging to coordinate but she was willing to leave the door unlocked with her copy of the key.  I prefer that she be awake when I do it and I asked if she would be returning the $500 that I gave her.  She said, of course, as if it was never in question, which only made me feel rotten for thinking otherwise.  She seemed flabbergasted that I had allowed my mind to begin to think that she was manipulating me.  She continued to beat herself up, blaming her 'big mouth' for ruining her relationship with 'one of the nicest people she has met recently.'  So I proposed what I had originally intended earlier about giving her 1 month's rent and her trusting me to live there without a security deposit and she readily accepted.

This whole thing has been an emotional roller coaster that I wish I had never stepped on.  Hopefully I can help her find a decent long term tenant and get out of this place emotionally unscathed.

 
northern exposure said:
My prediction. Caveman moves in, "the girl"comes back and uses her key to let herself in. Caveman and the girl have some fun. 
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When I was researching dead bolts today, I read that the major brands make a limited number of unique keys for their locks, like ~250.  So I suppose stranger things have happened.

 
northern exposure said:
Familiar pattern starting with "Caveman33".
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Well I did post in the past, you've all just been wrong about my name.  You guys seem to struggle with the fact that there are multiple self-centered losers in this world.

I should not have disparaged Rok's writing.  I recognize my own mediocrity but I was genuinely looking for thoughts on a real situation and didn't put effort into making this a polished narrative.  When reading Rok and others, I always got the impression that their stories rang false.  An initial truth that dovetailed into fantasy in an attempt to appease their audience.  I could be wrong as I faced similar accusations over stories that were 100% true.  I wish you guys were right, and I was not in the pathetic position that I am now.  

 
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Last night, the owner of my current place made me feel guilty about leaving.  He has been very kind and did welcome me into his family.  I woke up this morning thinking that I should just give the old lady a month's rent and stay where I'm at.  The main drawback is the dogs pooping and pissing all over the place but I've gotten somewhat used to that.  But then I was trying to move around the kitchen and it really annoyed me that i couldn't even find the light switch.  Any obstacle quickly becomes an annoyance.  It steadied my resolve to leave.

It bothers me that the old lady is a chain smoker, and I'm sure many former tenants have been as well.  I'm trying to clean out my lungs and get healthy, and now I'm exposing myself to massive amounts of 2nd and 3rd hand smoke.  I like to sleep on the ground which is also bad when the carpet and air is laced with harmful chemicals.  Being poor is so damaging to your health.  I guess I will stay there for a month, complete this scam school so that the remainder of my GI Bill is still accessible, and plan out where and how to live in my tent.

 
Caveman33 said:
Well I did post in the past, you've all just been wrong about my name.  You guys seem to struggle with the fact that there are multiple self-centered losers in this world.

I should not have disparaged Rok's writing.  I recognize my own mediocrity but I was genuinely looking for thoughts on a real situation and didn't put effort into making this a polished narrative.  When reading Rok and others, I always got the impression that their stories rang false.  An initial truth that dovetailed into fantasy in an attempt to appease their audience.  I could be wrong as I faced similar accusations over stories that were 100% true.  I wish you guys were right, and I was not in the pathetic position that I am now.  
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Let's narrow this down then. Have you provided stories in the past about sleeping with your aunt?

 
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