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Uh Oh, Misdirected Sext - how to deal with (1 Viewer)

bud29

bud29

Footballguy
Situation: 18 y.o. guy sexting with 18 y.o. girlfriend on snapchat - slips up and sends #### pic to wrong person. Wrong person proceeds to screenshot picture and put it in groupchats for lots of close peers to see.

What's the move here? How to console guy / how should he cope? Kind of a textbook teen nightmare but i'm still at a loss. My apologies for the choppy, short, detail-lacking story, not exactly at liberty to publicly share a whole lot. PM me if you need to know more to offer an answer, anything is appreciated.

 
richard pics gets the chicks :thumbup:    

meh, people saw his rooster. now that embarrassment is over and he can forget about worrying about what people think of his package. as i'm sure all his friends/peers were doing constantly before this happened.

own it, laugh about it, move on.

(i just posted mine on facebook to get the awkwardness out of the way for all the ladies dreaming about my crank)

 
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The correct move is to own it.  "Hell YEAH that's my junk!  I'm taking numbers like a deli counter #####es!"

Own it and laugh about it... all goes away... 

 
every chic in my circle back in the day saw my Richard - and that was looooooong before SnapChat and the other social mediaz trappings, know what i'm sayin'? :coffee:

 
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Depends on what your packing. If you're proud of it, own it. If baby-sized, then say it was a joke.

 
NYRAGE said:
Depends on what your packing. If you're proud of it, own it. If baby-sized, then say it was a joke.
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Disagree.  If the size becomes an issue "I'm a grower not a shower..."  "Your mom seems to appreciate it"... You have to go on the offensive here.  If he tries to deny, it will only be worse.  

 
top dog said:
Disagree.  If the size becomes an issue "I'm a grower not a shower..."  "Your mom seems to appreciate it"... You have to go on the offensive here.  If he tries to deny, it will only be worse.  
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I think we have to assume that he was already erect to some degree when sexting.  I guess it also depends if his face is visible in the pic. The gender of the receiver of the pic may also play a factor.  Perhaps some context to go along with what is said in the  groupchat makes a difference, too.

 
NYRAGE said:
I think we have to assume that he was already erect to some degree when sexting.  I guess it also depends if his face is visible in the pic. The gender of the receiver of the pic may also play a factor.  Perhaps some context to go along with what is said in the  groupchat makes a difference, too.
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Accidentally sent it to a guy - not in the group chat so we don't know what's being said, just receiving frequent updates about the, uh, ever-growing list of people who have seen it. 

 
Don't really understand his options here.  If he wants to fan the flames, respond.  If he wants it to go away, don't comment.

 
Can you tell it's him? Any tattoos or anything else visible that makes it known to be him?

Can he just deny, deny, deny?

 
bud29 said:
Accidentally sent it to a guy - not in the group chat so we don't know what's being said, just receiving frequent updates about the, uh, ever-growing list of people who have seen it. 
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Follow up with, "Sorry, I meant to send it to your mom. Can you forward it to her, please? KTHX"

 
No "give this MF'er a beat down" option? WTF does that...isnt that breaking some guy code of something?

 

 
In all seriousness...this is the #### that causes teen suicides. 

Sending a dik pic is dumb as it is, but some dude sharing it to a bunch of others in a private group is downright despicable.

 
glvsav37 said:
No "give this MF'er a beat down" option? WTF does that...isnt that breaking some guy code of something?

 
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Agreed.  Not a bro move.  Someone needs to have a chat with that kid.  It's also a crime in many states to forward lewd photos without the subject's consent.  Not that he wants to go there, but ...

 
Galileo said:
Arm?  Why the hell was your arm in the shot?  If the camera had to be that far away to capture it all, I think you have nothing to worry about
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:shrug:

I would include my arm in any shot of my wang to provide scale.

Wait, I mean my pinkie. Or a pencil eraser.

 
I feel for you.  Just last week took a really nice #### photo and accidentally sent it to Charlize Theron instead of my wife.  Imagine my embarrassment.

 
glvsav37 said:
In all seriousness...this is the #### that causes teen suicides. 
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Right, and this kid has a history with depression etc. so I want to try and help him as much as possible. Unfortunately there don't really seem to be many options except just letting it blow over, like some have said.

 
bud29 said:
Right, and this kid has a history with depression etc. so I want to try and help him as much as possible. Unfortunately there don't really seem to be many options except just letting it blow over, like some have said.
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All BS aside, letting it blow over is the best idea.  That is going to be tough since it everyone would about this for a long time.  Let him know that everyone makes mistakes and finds ways to overcome them. 

 
glvsav37 said:
No "give this MF'er a beat down" option? WTF does that...isnt that breaking some guy code of something?
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And it's not the first time he's done it. According to gf, this guy almost has a reputation for spreading nudes in group chats. One of the worst possible people to accidentally send your junk to (family excluded).

 
bud29 said:
And it's not the first time he's done it. According to gf, this guy almost has a reputation for spreading nudes in group chats. One of the worst possible people to accidentally send your junk to (family excluded).
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Then I'd consider pressing charges. That's unacceptable and someone may get really hurt unless someone puts a stop to it. This has to be escalated. If he's done this repeatedly, then I have little sympathy for him getting in trouble.

 
bud29 said:
Situation: 18 y.o. guy sexting with 18 y.o. girlfriend on snapchat - slips up and sends #### pic to wrong person. Wrong person proceeds to screenshot picture and put it in groupchats for lots of close peers to see.

What's the move here? How to console guy / how should he cope? Kind of a textbook teen nightmare but i'm still at a loss. My apologies for the choppy, short, detail-lacking story, not exactly at liberty to publicly share a whole lot. PM me if you need to know more to offer an answer, anything is appreciated.
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If we're being technical, pretty sure the screen shot being taken and sending it to group chats is revenge porn, which is a felony sexual assault. 

 
bud29 said:
Right, and this kid has a history with depression etc. so I want to try and help him as much as possible. Unfortunately there don't really seem to be many options except just letting it blow over, like some have said.
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What state? What the guy did is likely a felony and he'll be seeing jail time and heavy fines. You owe it to his future victims to curb the behavior now.

 
gianmarco said:
Then I'd consider pressing charges. That's unacceptable and someone may get really hurt unless someone puts a stop to it. This has to be escalated. If he's done this repeatedly, then I have little sympathy for him getting in trouble.
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I would agree, and I floated this with him a little while ago. His objections were:

-This kind of leaking is extremely common (at least among his classmates / peer group) and usually nothing happens so he doesn't want to be "that guy" who escalates things.

-He says that if anything, he at *least* wants to keep his parents/family from finding out, which would obviously go out the window in the event he presses charges.

I offered that if it happens to so many people, it should blow over and be forgotten about soon. He wasn't so sure, said people get a reputation for that, and rattled off a pretty sizable list of people who have had lewd pictures leaked, dating as far back as 5-6 years ago. One positive for him is that he's moving and going to college in the fall, away from a lot of the people who had seen it - he was hoping that nobody going to his school would see it, but that hope was apparently dashed pretty quickly.

 
bud29 said:
I would agree, and I floated this with him a little while ago. His objections were:

-This kind of leaking is extremely common (at least among his classmates / peer group) and usually nothing happens so he doesn't want to be "that guy" who escalates things.

-He says that if anything, he at *least* wants to keep his parents/family from finding out, which would obviously go out the window in the event he presses charges.

I offered that if it happens to so many people, it should blow over and be forgotten about soon. He wasn't so sure, said people get a reputation for that, and rattled off a pretty sizable list of people who have had lewd pictures leaked, dating as far back as 5-6 years ago. One positive for him is that he's moving and going to college in the fall, away from a lot of the people who had seen it - he was hoping that nobody going to his school would see it, but that hope was apparently dashed pretty quickly.
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And one other thing to think about: if there is anybody in that group chat under the age of 18, both parties (the kid who took the photo and the kid who passed it around) could have some issues distributing porn to minors. Especially if a parent happens to look at that chat. 

 
RokNRole said:
I would consider the oppurtunity if it was offered
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Offered shmoffered.  Show some initiative.  Go down to the station, ask to speak with a detective and make the proposal.  "Det., I have nearly unparalleled experience in drawing male genitalia.  I would like to put my experience to work on behalf of law enforcement.  The next time you have a flasher, or an assault, I would be happy to draw the offending appendage from the victim's description.  What do you say?  Would $100 a drawing be a fair price?"

 
bud29 said:
And it's not the first time he's done it. According to gf, this guy almost has a reputation for spreading nudes in group chats. One of the worst possible people to accidentally send your junk to (family excluded).
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Stop associating with jackwagons who do this sort of thing.  And really don't have them on your contact lists, thus preventing the problem all around.  And don't send out anything you don't want your mother to see.

I just hope it doesn't turn up during employment checks.

 
Mrs. Rannous said:
Stop associating with jackwagons who do this sort of thing.
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Oh I agree, picture taker was unaware of the guy's reputation until it was too late. Now obviously has deleted/blocked the guy wherever possible. Without trying to sound like a grouchy old fart, the kids around there are TOTAL pieces of ####. Constant nude leaks, near-weekly sexual assaults at parties, and I know I only hear a tiny fraction of what all goes on. I'm very glad that this guy and his gf aren't staying in town for college.

 
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Sorry I don't have anything more to add.  I think he needs to own it and let it blow over.  The identifying marks did remind me of this though. :unsure:

Balbricker: Now, Mr. Carter. I know this is completely unorthodox. But I think this is the only way to find that boy. Now that penis had a mole on it - I'd recognize that penis anywhere. In spite of the juvenile snickers of some, this is a serious matter. That seducer and despoiler must be stopped; he's extremely dangerous. And, Mr. Carter, I'm certain that everyone in this room knows who that is. He's a contemptible little pervert who...
Mr. Carter: Miss Balbricker!
Balbricker: Well, I'm sorry, but I've got him now, and I'm not going to let him slip through my fingers again. Now, all I'm asking is that you give me five boys for a few minutes. The coaches can be present - Tommy Turner and any four boys you see fit to choose and we... and we... can put a stop to this menace. And it is a menace.
[pause]
Balbricker: Well, what are you gonna do about it?
Mr. Carter: Five young boys in the nude, a police line-up so that you can identify his tallywhacker. Please, please can we call it a "tallywhacker"? Penis is so ppp... penis is so personal.
Balbricker: We can put hoods over their heads to avoid embarrassment. Now listen: we have got to do it, as distasteful as it is. I know it's him. That
[pause]
Balbricker: tallywhacker had a mole on it. And that mole is the key to it.
Mr. Carter: Miss Balbricker, do you realize the difficulty of your request? Now, I would be very happy to, uh, to apprehend the young man myself. But can you imagine what the board of education would say if you were granted a line-up in order to examine their private pa... their private parts for an incriminating mole?
Balbricker: But Mr. Carter.
Coach Brakett: Mr. Carter, I think I have a way out of this. We, uh, call the police, and we have 'em send over one of their sketch artists. And Miss Balbricker can give a description. We can put up "Wanted" posters all over school... "Have you seen this #####? Report immediately to Beulah Balbricker. Do not attempt to apprehend this #####, as it is armed and dangerous. It was last seen hanging out in the girls' locker room at Angel Beach High School."
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Remember when Brett Favre got caught sending his #### to Jenn Sterger? 

Well around Halloween, me and my buddies were having beers, passing out candy (also dressed up as refs and had a nice set up in garage) watching football and we decided to play a joke on one of the dudes and act like Brett Favre was sexting the wrong #. Long story short, the friend that was texting had a different area code but refused to find the pic so I took the pic off the internet and sent it to him.

Blows out.

That night my gf came and picked me up to go over to her extended families Halloween party. I changed out of my ref uniform and off I went. 

I got all sorts of crap for not dressing up and said I was dressed up as a ref earlier. I took my phone out, brought up the pic of me and my buddies in ref outfit and showed it to my gf's great aunt and uncle. 

For some reason, her uncle decided to swipe through my pics and up comes Brett Favres Johnson on my phone.

I had to make a quick decision. Either cop to sending my #### to their niece or admit I had Brett Favre's croc #### on my phone....

I nervous laughed, grabbed the phone and walked away.

So ya know, it could be worse.

 
bud29 said:
I would agree, and I floated this with him a little while ago. His objections were:

-This kind of leaking is extremely common (at least among his classmates / peer group) and usually nothing happens so he doesn't want to be "that guy" who escalates things.

-He says that if anything, he at *least* wants to keep his parents/family from finding out, which would obviously go out the window in the event he presses charges.

I offered that if it happens to so many people, it should blow over and be forgotten about soon. He wasn't so sure, said people get a reputation for that, and rattled off a pretty sizable list of people who have had lewd pictures leaked, dating as far back as 5-6 years ago. One positive for him is that he's moving and going to college in the fall, away from a lot of the people who had seen it - he was hoping that nobody going to his school would see it, but that hope was apparently dashed pretty quickly.
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I get not wanting to be that guy, so why not a happy medium here: Simple solution isn't to block the "sharer" but to make it clear that should his continued sharing lead to the picture taker's family eventually getting it that the picture taker will bring charges. Doesn't matter if it's direct or indirect and puts the jackwagon on notice and in the position of feeling uncomfortable about his own behavior.

 
I mean, his BEST bet is to laugh it off. Poke fun at himself. Make the worst jokes before anyone else can. It will suck the fun out of it for any potential bullies if he embraces it and laughs with it.

Easier said than done, but that's the BEST route. Beating the everliving piss out of the guy who shared the picture is a close second though. 

 
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