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Vacation Dilemma- turned into Branson thread (1 Viewer)

Chadstroma

Footballguy
Here is the situation...

We scheduled a vacation with good friends of ours. Our daughters are close friends and our sons enjoy each other. The plan was leaving Friday for Branson, MO and we would spend the week there. 

My mother in law just sprung a proposition on us... she has a sister in the Orlando area that is going to be moving because of some issues they are having. She wants to go and visit her but is older and can't really travel on her own. She has offered for us to driver her down and then go to Disney and other parks stuff for the week. She will pay for everything... gas, food, parking, tickets to the parks, etc. 

I don't think my wife can get more time off work and with such short notice so it may be the only option would be to cancel with our friends so we can go to Disney etc. We already paid for our side of the place so it wouldn't cost our friends anything but I just feel like a total jerk being like "sorry, we got a better offer... see ya!" 

What say you guys? Thoughts... ideas.... feedback....

 
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themeanmachine

Footballguy
If it were me, I wouldn’t change my existing plans, I think it would be uncool to leave your friends hanging. We also have another family who are good friends and we’ve taken a few trips together, kids are all the same ages and get along great. Couldn’t imagine changing plans on them at the last minute for a better offer.

 
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Chadstroma

Footballguy
The more I think about it the more I feel like unless there is a creative solution... my vacation is screwed. Either way I go, I am going to feel like crap for letting someone down the entire time I am wherever I am. 

The only way out I can see is hoping my wife can get more time off or doing something like @AAAABatteries suggested in helping pay our friends way to go as well to Disney. We had talked about going with them before and we did think about Disney and a destination but both decided to stay closer to cut down on gas costs. 

 

offdee

Footballguy
Just talk to your friend and tell him the situation.  But downplay the paying for Disney part and more about helping your mom and you're torn.   Just gauge his reaction and go from there.

If it gets into the nitty gritty you could expose that your mom offered to pay for your family, and that's how much she's wanting the help. See if any interest from your friend to go to Disney with you and you'd split the cost of his family's expenses. So kind of a win, win, win situation for all....Mom gets her help, both of you get to go to Disney with the family for half price and a cool last minute surprise for the kids.     Maybe see if you can sub-let the Branson, MO place or cancel and take a penalty.

 
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ChiefD

Footballguy
Don’t even bring it up to your friends, and don’t feel guilty about your mother in law. You had your trip planned before that.

Anything you do to your friend to try and negotiate your way out of this will make you look like a total jerkwad.

 

Ghost Rider

Footballguy
Disney or Branson? That is like asking which is better, getting kicked in the frank or in the beans. 

Levity aside, stick with your original plans. It would be very poor form to bail on your friends at the last minute (this close to the vacation IS last minute) because you got a better offer. 

 

Terminalxylem

Footballguy
Don’t even bring it up to your friends, and don’t feel guilty about your mother in law. You had your trip planned before that.

Anything you do to your friend to try and negotiate your way out of this will make you look like a total jerkwad.
It’s may be a regional/cultural thing to some extent, but many people feel obligated to help out by virtue of being asked. While good friends should be willing to take a bullet for one another, it’s not cool at all to put your friend in such a predicament.

And I don’t know anything about Branson, but I’d be hard-pressed to find a worse destination than Disney in the summertime.

 

NutterButter

Footballguy
As others have said, I don't think I'd go to disney this time of year for free if I didn't have any other plans.   And I have nothing against Disney.  I think its pretty wonderful. 

 

BobbyLayne

Footballguy
Don’t forget the afternoon downpours/thunderstorms 
usually short though. I especially liked when it rained with the sun still shining.

daily shower. most miserable weather anywhere in July. if you have to park across the street you’ll be soaked in sweat by the time you get inside to where you’re going.

 

Chadstroma

Footballguy
Disney or Branson? That is like asking which is better, getting kicked in the frank or in the beans. 

Levity aside, stick with your original plans. It would be very poor form to bail on your friends at the last minute (this close to the vacation IS last minute) because you got a better offer. 
:lmao:  truth be told I really didn't want to go to Branson. I have never been but it was never on my go to places either but our friends suggested it as being not too far away.... so  :shrug:

I have done the Disney thing a billion times growing up in So Cal and I have been to Florida during the summer and that is brutal for sure. 

It is more about the people than the destinations. Our friends, my MIL and then also the kids. I know the kids would lose their minds if we told them we were going to Disneyworld which is why I would be willing to survive FL in the summer. 

 

ChiefD

Footballguy
:lmao:  truth be told I really didn't want to go to Branson. I have never been but it was never on my go to places either but our friends suggested it as being not too far away.... so  :shrug:

I have done the Disney thing a billion times growing up in So Cal and I have been to Florida during the summer and that is brutal for sure. 

It is more about the people than the destinations. Our friends, my MIL and then also the kids. I know the kids would lose their minds if we told them we were going to Disneyworld which is why I would be willing to survive FL in the summer. 
Branson is actually pretty fun. There is a ton of stuff for kids to do there. My kids are going to be there this week from Tuesday thru Friday with my in-laws. They will be camping at the lake there and do some go-carts, mini golf, hiking, swimming...all kinds of stuff.

My kids are 16,14, and 11 for reference but they've been doing this summer trip with their grandparents for years. They love it.

 
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dkp993

Footballguy
I like my friends better then my family (not meaning wife/kids) so friend vacation would win out.  I’d also feel ####ty bailing on them so Disneyland would need to wait for another time.  

 

Dezbelief

Footballguy
Here is the situation...

We scheduled a vacation with good friends of ours. Our daughters are close friends and our sons enjoy each other. The plan was leaving Friday for Branson, MO and we would spend the week there. 

My mother in law just sprung a proposition on us... she has a sister in the Orlando area that is going to be moving because of some issues they are having. She wants to go and visit her but is older and can't really travel on her own. She has offered for us to driver her down and then go to Disney and other parks stuff for the week. She will pay for everything... gas, food, parking, tickets to the parks, etc. 

I don't think my wife can get more time off work and with such short notice so it may be the only option would be to cancel with our friends so we can go to Disney etc. We already paid for our side of the place so it wouldn't cost our friends anything but I just feel like a total jerk being like "sorry, we got a better offer... see ya!" 

What say you guys? Thoughts... ideas.... feedback....
Screw your own vacation and be everyone's chauffeur? Drop the wife and kids at Branson and drive your MIL to Orlando. Take your MIL to Branson and put her on a bus to Orlando? 

 

BeTheMatch

Let it burn!
Here is the situation...

We scheduled a vacation with good friends of ours. Our daughters are close friends and our sons enjoy each other. The plan was leaving Friday for Branson, MO and we would spend the week there. 

My mother in law just sprung a proposition on us... she has a sister in the Orlando area that is going to be moving because of some issues they are having. She wants to go and visit her but is older and can't really travel on her own. She has offered for us to driver her down and then go to Disney and other parks stuff for the week. She will pay for everything... gas, food, parking, tickets to the parks, etc. 

I don't think my wife can get more time off work and with such short notice so it may be the only option would be to cancel with our friends so we can go to Disney etc. We already paid for our side of the place so it wouldn't cost our friends anything but I just feel like a total jerk being like "sorry, we got a better offer... see ya!" 

What say you guys? Thoughts... ideas.... feedback....
It would be a total jerk move

 

RandyDB

Footballguy
usually short though. I especially liked when it rained with the sun still shining.

daily shower. most miserable weather anywhere in July. if you have to park across the street you’ll be soaked in sweat by the time you get inside to where you’re going.
this is what I remember most. I was in Orlando for USN basic training from mid-July til mid Sept.

had a shower almost every day between 3 pm and 5 pm

 

Chadstroma

Footballguy
Did the MIL know about your planned trip to Branson beforehand?
I do not know. 

It isn't something where she has to go the week we are on vacation but that is the only time it would work. She would be fine doing a long weekend but I am not going to drive from Chicago to Orlando to basically spend a day there and turn around and drive back. 

 

Chadstroma

Footballguy
annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd there was another angle apparently.....

I asked if she thought we could swing paying for some of our friends expenses and ask them to go with...... and she has a bunch of things why that wouldn't work so I said I hate this but I don't think I feel I could back out. 

She seemed mad. 

So.... now not only am I going to feel like I let my MIL down.... my wife is going to be mad. 

Vacation sucks. 

 

AAABatteries

Footballguy
annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd there was another angle apparently.....

I asked if she thought we could swing paying for some of our friends expenses and ask them to go with...... and she has a bunch of things why that wouldn't work so I said I hate this but I don't think I feel I could back out. 

She seemed mad. 

So.... now not only am I going to feel like I let my MIL down.... my wife is going to be mad. 

Vacation sucks. 
I always let me wife deal with my MIL and I deal with my Mom

 

Chemical X

Footballguy
annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd there was another angle apparently.....

I asked if she thought we could swing paying for some of our friends expenses and ask them to go with...... and she has a bunch of things why that wouldn't work so I said I hate this but I don't think I feel I could back out. 

She seemed mad. 

So.... now not only am I going to feel like I let my MIL down.... my wife is going to be mad. 

Vacation sucks. 
you live with your wife, right?  it’s her mother, right?  

 

Drunken knight

Footballguy
annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd there was another angle apparently.....

I asked if she thought we could swing paying for some of our friends expenses and ask them to go with...... and she has a bunch of things why that wouldn't work so I said I hate this but I don't think I feel I could back out. 

She seemed mad. 

So.... now not only am I going to feel like I let my MIL down.... my wife is going to be mad. 

Vacation sucks. 


why does she believe it is ok to have you back out of plans at the last minute to accommodate her? Is your family's time irrelevant?

 

Chadstroma

Footballguy
why does she believe it is ok to have you back out of plans at the last minute to accommodate her? Is your family's time irrelevant?
I think I wrote that poorly. I told my wife that and she seemed not happy. 

It might have been perturbed at the situation. 

But I got one of them "that's fine, it's your decision." Responses which always scare the crap out of me because you never know if it really is fine and your decision or it isn't fine and your decision should have matched what she wanted. 

 

Drunken knight

Footballguy
I get it.  I have been dealing with an unreasonable mil for 32 yrs. it is my wife who feels guilty when she says no to her.

Additionally, her older sister is a professor and gets all of those breaks off.  She gets the guilt from her sister too “why am I the one always flying out there?”

covid has given us a nice buffer, but my wife still needs to address this.

 

AAABatteries

Footballguy
I think I wrote that poorly. I told my wife that and she seemed not happy. 

It might have been perturbed at the situation. 

But I got one of them "that's fine, it's your decision." Responses which always scare the crap out of me because you never know if it really is fine and your decision or it isn't fine and your decision should have matched what she wanted. 
I’m not sure I’m following - are you saying that your wife thinks you should change your plans and take the MIL?

If so, then that changes things slightly for me or really just introduces a bunch of other questions.  My MIL is a saint and I’d do just about anything she asked of me if I was able.  I still wouldn’t change plans with the friends but I would figure out a way to help my MIL even if either I or my wife had to miss the vacation.  Granted, my MIL wouldn’t ask unless it was truly important.

 

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