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WEDDING PLANNING ADVICE Calling all FBG women, trans, cross dressers - if you wear dresses, get in here (NTTAWWT but I’m str8) (1 Viewer)

BobbyLayne

Footballguy
Have a big last minute dilemma here with respect to my upcoming nuptials (June 25.)

FTR I’m wearing a suit.

I don’t have a best man. I’m have one attendant and I decided to ask my best friend to be my Best Woman. Mo (Monique) and I have been running Street Teams together for about 7 years, we’ve taken group trips to the Catskills and Vermont, when I was homeless she was an amazingly supportive friend. So were scores (maybe even hundreds) of others but she was a real rock in my life.

It is a pretty low-key affair, 130 guests. The bride has a wonderful dress which I have not seen yet. The maid of honor and the mother both bought new dresses. But we’ve been telling all our friends “hey it’s late June, dress for comfort, come celebrate with us.”

At my bachelor party last weekend my Beat Woman told me she hadn’t finalized her decision on a dress but she was pretty close. Beginning of this week she sent me this from Rent the Runway.

I legit thought she was joking. I sent back some emojis or a gif, and I might have accidentally hurt her feelings a bit. Apparently she also texted the link to my fiancée. My girl is a little more diplomatic than me, a bit more sensitive, and doesn’t know Mo as well. She just said “it looks wonderful I wonder if it’s too short?”

In the ensuing days Mo sent us like a half dozen links to dresses. They all look fine. Like they work well, it’s like an evening dress or a sharp looking cocktail dress. Nothing like say is like a prom dress (which we don’t want.) But also like none of them look like lightweight, fun summer dresses.

I was talking about it with another friend today and she was telling me that the thing about looking at pictures is the models are like 5‘ 10” or 6 feet.

My best woman is 5 foot 6. She just lost like 40 pounds. She’s still got curves but smaller these days (she was pear shaped & frumpy before.) I’m terrible guessing but I think she’s probably like a size 6 now….that’s a guess…oh heck what do I know about dresses?? Nothing.

Hence the collective wisdom of the FFA. Is it possible the dress has a lower hem than it looks like? Reading through the reviews, IDK. Few of the girls in the reviews said it felt too short when they sat down.

I’m Switzerland 🇨🇭 here. My fiancée and Mo have to work this out. I have no SME here.

Mo wants to please my fiancée. My bride to be doesn’t feel confident being frank with Mo bc, while they’re friends, they are not BFFs. But I’m kind of pulling for the flower print dress to get approved bc it’s a great match for my suit & tie, and it looks like the most fun summery dress we’ve looked at.

Other pertinent info:

fiancée is first generation Korean. Her family is traditional and parochial. Super conservative and modest. Her friends are all Presbyterian (aka the Frozen Chosen.)

I’m Caucasian but most of my guests are PoC (I didn’t do a census but probably 60% black, 20% Latino, 10% Asian, 10% wonder bread.) 90% + of my friends are Pentecostal and 80% are fashionistas or dudes who read GQ. I’m a shorts and tee shirt guy, they look like they just rolled out of a fashion week tent show.

100% or close to it if both sides love Jesus - just different types of believers. But obviously (or maybe not) one side of the wedding is a bit on the judgey side and the other is “Galatians 5, baby - we have freedom in Christ Jesus!”

WHAT’S the call here? Continue being Switzerland? Advocate for the summer dress bc it’s the best match, the most comfortable, and it’s longer than it appears? May seem silly to you but modesty is important to mah woman.

:shrug:

 
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Mrs. Rannous

Footballguy
oh heck what do I know about dresses?? Nothing.
You are John Snow, and I claim my five pounds.

I'm pretty sure I'm a girl.  <checks with Mr R>  Yep.  I had a male Honor Attendant, but he wore a tux.  That was easy.  My two bridesmaids wore their own dresses (floor length).  We also didn't care if everyone matched.

If your bride is hinting the dress is too short, it probably is.  Something A-line and knee-length should make the bride's fam happy.  I doubt the dress in the picture will be longer on someone who's 5'6".   I reckon I can look through the website and find something fun and more modest.  (And, yes, it's possible.)

 

Mrs. Rannous

Footballguy
Holy carp!  There are tons of selections.  

Be the Swiss.  See what your intended thinks is good.  Then hang out with your Best Woman and see if she can find something in that range she likes.  Harmony is good.

Have fun.

 
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BobbyLayne

Footballguy
:unsure:
So what did Bill Simmons have to say about the NBA finals again?  :whistle:
TBH I had little interest (tho once I was a ball fanatic) - I did randomly bump into it last night & watch the last 5 minutes. Good for Steph & Co. Surely their last hurrah? If so, what a run! Rightly secures Curry into the pantheon of all time great champions.

But my first thought when I saw the score was “aw, good….this means Simmons is in misery.”

 

Leroy Hoard

Footballguy
A few years ago I knew a pair of non lesbian roommates. One had insurance from work and the other did not.  They considered getting married to alleviate the problem, but chickened out. Plan was that the one that had insurance would wear the tux and the freeloader would wear the dress. 

 

BobbyLayne

Footballguy
Are you wearing seer sucker?  How does that dress match your suit?
that was a consideration

my suit is dark blue / grayish (not navy blue) with very subtle large square patterns 

THE TIE (which I can’t find - looked last night) is sky blue with small bright red circles & I sky blue socks with a similar motif

ANYWAY what the ladies have decided is to ditch matching my look and instead focus on something complimentary to the Maid of Honor (Bride’s sister)

Best Woman has a bunch of possibilities  from Rent the Runsay and they’re doing a late afternoon Zoom call to finalize 

Switzerland 🇨🇭 maintains its neutrality, best possible income 

 

DA RAIDERS

willy t flyers
My wife stood on her brother’s side. She wore a simple black dress to match her brother’s suit. F the bride's side. 😂. They wore some gnarly red dresses. 

 

BobbyLayne

Footballguy
My wife stood on her brother’s side. She wore a simple black dress to match her brother’s suit. F the bride's side. 😂. They wore some gnarly red dresses. 
I really wanted to buy a replica of Paul McCartney’s blue suit from SPLHCB, and my Best Woman was gonna wear John Lennon’s. Tell me this wasn’t an awesome idea.

Bride said nope. 

 
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northern exposure

Footballguy
A few years ago I knew a pair of non lesbian roommates. One had insurance from work and the other did not.  They considered getting married to alleviate the problem, but chickened out. Plan was that the one that had insurance would wear the tux and the freeloader would wear the dress. 
This sounds like a spin on the plot for “I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry” with Adam Sandler and Kevin James.

 

otb_lifer

Footballguy
At least no one asked if the dress made them look fat.


care if i unpack this a smidge?

took my daughter to my old stylist a couple months ago, to get her hair did for the big sophomore formal ... my stylist had shed quite a few pounds, she looked fantastic - i mentioned it to my gf, who advised me not to mention it, as it would infer i thought she was FAT last i saw her. 

she advised me to just say something along the lines of "hey, haven't seen you in awhile, you look great!"

dunno. 

i deferred to "damn, you really slimmed down, eh?" 

thoughts? 

:popcorn:

 

Mrs. Rannous

Footballguy
care if i unpack this a smidge?

took my daughter to my old stylist a couple months ago, to get her hair did for the big sophomore formal ... my stylist had shed quite a few pounds, she looked fantastic - i mentioned it to my gf, who advised me not to mention it, as it would infer i thought she was FAT last i saw her. 

she advised me to just say something along the lines of "hey, haven't seen you in awhile, you look great!"

dunno. 

i deferred to "damn, you really slimmed down, eh?" 

thoughts? 

:popcorn:
Nope.  Do NOT comment on other people's bodies.  Listen to the gf.  She sounds smart.

 

BobbyLayne

Footballguy
Nope.  Do NOT comment on other people's bodies.  Listen to the gf.  She sounds smart.
yeah can’t go there - their body is noneyabidness, ya don’t know their story (not 100%), even saying sumtin’ like “healthy body” has negative connotations WRT unrealistic expectations. just so many other things to focus on - no need to perpetuate the myopic overemphasis on stylized ideals.

with a good friend, one on one (not in front of others), I will def hype them if they’ve been putting in work and it shows. that is a rare dynamic though. in most situations I try to avoid even oblique references bc we really do need to de-emphasize. ANY mention can trigger someone bc body shaming was a real thing for a long, long time.

none of us want to walk around on eggshells. the plain truth is though we have no idea what the other person is carrying around. kindness will never be out of fashion.

 
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BobbyLayne

Footballguy
for the pearl clutchers…

bride & MoH helped resolve with the Best Woman over a Zoom

no idea what was decided, will find out in a week

All you wanna do is just slay, just slay

 

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