What would happen if the Pope declared jihad? (1 Viewer)

[KCitons]

Vatican City has been extremely powerful for centuries. The Catholic population (currently 1 Billion) carried out the Popes directions without question in the past.

In today's society, could there be crusade or jihad?

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Against/towards what?

 

[Slapdash]

Probably a lot of confused Catholics wondering how the Pope became Muslim

 

[fantasycurse42]

This is where I stand on the issue, and I know it would taste awful, but here:

Liver Sausage Pineapple

• Mix 1 pound liver sausage with 1 tablespoon lemon juice, 1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce, 1/4 cup mayonaise. Shape around a jelly glass. Soften 2 teaspoons unflavored gelatine in 2 tablespoons cold water, dissolve over hot water; add 1 cup mayonnaise; chill. Frost “pineapple,” score; stud with sliced stuffed olives. Top with real pineapple top.

To me, the insult on top of the injury in this recipe is probably the “top with real pineapple top,” not just because this is absolutely the only instance in this entire book where the word “pineapple” isn’t preceded by the words “can of”, but because it implies that an actual pineapple was sacrificed to make this thing. An entire pineapple would have to be thrown away just for the sake of its least edible part decorating a meat-frosted jelly jar, as there is absolutely no way you could ever serve this and an actual pineapple at the same party. A fruit that caused riots when it was first brought to London sitting beside a pile of liverwurst and stiff mayonnaise — would you really want to invite that flavor comparison?

There’s a conspiracy theory that’s been floating around for a while that posits that one of the reasons packaged foods took off so wildly in the Fifties was that the Eisenhower administration was promoting their production and consumption to prepare Americans to live on military-style rations in case we ever got into a nuclear tiff with the Soviets. If Americans were used to chomping away at Frosted Flakes, Jell-O, and Ovaltine, it was thought they would’t mind as much that this was all that was left to eat as Charlton Heston was keeping them safe from bands of robed mutants in the smoldering remains of Levittown. Which, come to think of it, if I was ever hosting a cocktail party for a gang of mutants and Charlton Heston in a smoldering Levittown, I might actually consider serving this.

 

[Leroy Hoard]

Bingo chips used as ninja weapons.

 

[KCitons]

Against/towards what?

does it matter? did it matter during the 1st crusade?

 

[Parrothead]

the mafia would rise again

 

[Ditka Butkus]

I don't think the Christians/Catholics have the stomach for putting on an explosive vest and blowing themselves up for their cause. Not to mention it is against their religion.

 

[Ramsay Hunt Experience]

Against/towards what?

Caruso shtick.

 

[Eephus]

They're not booing, they're saying Cruuuuu-sade

 

[Kal El]

I don't think the Christians/Catholics have the stomach for putting on an explosive vest and blowing themselves up for their cause. Not to mention it is against their religion.

 

[Gr00vus]

Against/towards what?

Caruso shtick.

Kate Upton depreciation.

 

[KCitons]

I don't think the Christians/Catholics have the stomach for putting on an explosive vest and blowing themselves up for their cause. Not to mention it is against their religion.

Hasn't it been the same religion since the beginning?

 

[Rayderr]

Fire and brimstone coming down from the skies! Rivers and seas boiling! Forty years of darkness! Earthquakes, volcanoes... The dead rising from the grave! Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together... mass hysteria!

 

[Parrothead]

will everyone get a funny hat?

 

[Ramsay Hunt Experience]

"What the ****, let's just start killing Albigensians again."

 

[Ditka Butkus]

I don't think the Christians/Catholics have the stomach for putting on an explosive vest and blowing themselves up for their cause. Not to mention it is against their religion.

Hasn't it been the same religion since the beginning?

The crusade is apparently not against their religion.........the suicide is.

 

[KCitons]

I don't think the Christians/Catholics have the stomach for putting on an explosive vest and blowing themselves up for their cause. Not to mention it is against their religion.

Hasn't it been the same religion since the beginning?

The crusade is apparently not against their religion.........the suicide is.

jihad doesn't require suicide. neither did the crusades

 

[SeaDogStat]

NO ONE EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION!

http://youtu.be/oJZ2m6_T1wc

 

[17seconds]

Vatican City has been extremely powerful for centuries. The Catholic population (currently 1 Billion) carried out the Popes directions without question in the past.

In today's society, could there be crusade or jihad?

Have you seen this new Pope?

There's a better chance of me banging Scarlett Johansson

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Against/towards what?

does it matter? did it matter during the 1st crusade?

Yes

 

[SaintsInDome2006]

It might look something like this...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aiyqM4gFUgE

 

[KCitons]

Vatican City has been extremely powerful for centuries. The Catholic population (currently 1 Billion) carried out the Popes directions without question in the past.

In today's society, could there be crusade or jihad?

Have you seen this new Pope?

There's a better chance of me banging Scarlett Johansson

I just said "the Pope". Not Pope Francis.

 

[TheIronSheik]

I don't think the Pope has the guts to do it.

 

[fantasycurse42]

I don't think the Pope has the guts to do it.

 

[TheIronSheik]

Vatican City has been extremely powerful for centuries. The Catholic population (currently 1 Billion) carried out the Popes directions without question in the past.

In today's society, could there be crusade or jihad?

Have you seen this new Pope?

There's a better chance of me banging Scarlett Johansson

I just said "the Pope". Not Pope Francis.

So, Pope Benedict?

 

[SaintsInDome2006]

I don't think the Pope has the guts to do it.

Let's be clear about something though: we would win.

Nobody beats the Bishop.

 

[Drifter]

Vatican City has been extremely powerful for centuries. The Catholic population (currently 1 Billion) carried out the Popes directions without question in the past.

In today's society, could there be crusade or jihad?

Have you seen this new Pope?

There's a better chance of me banging Scarlett Johansson

I just said "the Pope". Not Pope Francis.

Don't call me Francis

 

[TheIronSheik]

Vatican City has been extremely powerful for centuries. The Catholic population (currently 1 Billion) carried out the Popes directions without question in the past.

In today's society, could there be crusade or jihad?

Have you seen this new Pope?

There's a better chance of me banging Scarlett Johansson

I just said "the Pope". Not Pope Francis.

Is this an Ohio State reference?

 

[TheIronSheik]

I don't think the Pope has the guts to do it.

Let's be clear about something though: we would win.

Nobody beats the Bishop.

Who is "we"? The Catholics? Pfft. I think the Protestants could take the Catholics with one praying hand tied behind their backs.

 

[KCitons]

Against/towards what?

does it matter? did it matter during the 1st crusade?

Yes

OK. Let's just call it the erosion of the power of the Catholic Church. Which is basically the reason for past bloodshed caused by the Catholic Church. Odd how a principal based in faith, has so little in itself.

 

[Ditka Butkus]

I don't think the Christians/Catholics have the stomach for putting on an explosive vest and blowing themselves up for their cause. Not to mention it is against their religion.

Hasn't it been the same religion since the beginning?

The crusade is apparently not against their religion.........the suicide is.

jihad doesn't require suicide. neither did the crusades

Somebody should tell the Muslims/Islamics

 

[jonessed]

The odds of a Muslim pope are pretty slim.

 

[Kal El]

I don't think the Pope has the guts to do it.

Let's be clear about something though: we would win.

Nobody beats the Bishop.

Pretty sure guys everywhere do just that.

 

[SaintsInDome2006]

I don't think the Pope has the guts to do it.

Let's be clear about something though: we would win.

Nobody beats the Bishop.

Who is "we"? The Catholics? Pfft. I think the Protestants could take the Catholics with one praying hand tied behind their backs.

I thought that was why we have Notre Dame football.

 

[KCitons]

I don't think the Pope has the guts to do it.

Let's be clear about something though: we would win.

Nobody beats the Bishop.

Who is "we"? The Catholics? Pfft. I think the Protestants could take the Catholics with one praying hand tied behind their backs.

Muslims don't follow the normal rules of war.

 

[SaintsInDome2006]

I don't think the Pope has the guts to do it.

Let's be clear about something though: we would win.

Nobody beats the Bishop.

Who is "we"? The Catholics? Pfft. I think the Protestants could take the Catholics with one praying hand tied behind their backs.

Muslims don't follow the normal rules of war.

They also don't have the NFL or cheerleaders, which is one of their major problems.

 

[TheIronSheik]

The odds of a Muslim pope are pretty slim.

 

[TheIronSheik]

I don't think the Pope has the guts to do it.

Let's be clear about something though: we would win.

Nobody beats the Bishop.

Who is "we"? The Catholics? Pfft. I think the Protestants could take the Catholics with one praying hand tied behind their backs.

Muslims don't follow the normal rules of war.

They also don't have the NFL or cheerleaders, which is one of their major problems.

I have both of those in Philly.

 

[Ditka Butkus]

I don't think the Pope has the guts to do it.

Let's be clear about something though: we would win.

Nobody beats the Bishop.

Who is "we"? The Catholics? Pfft. I think the Protestants could take the Catholics with one praying hand tied behind their backs.

Muslims don't follow the normal rules of war.

They also don't have the NFL or cheerleaders, which is one of their major problems.

And lack of female nudity in their culture

 

[KCitons]

I don't think the Christians/Catholics have the stomach for putting on an explosive vest and blowing themselves up for their cause. Not to mention it is against their religion.

Hasn't it been the same religion since the beginning?

The crusade is apparently not against their religion.........the suicide is.

jihad doesn't require suicide. neither did the crusades

Somebody should tell the Muslims/Islamics

Jihad, Crusades, whatever term you want to use. The Catholics just tried to dress up their terminology to make it sound like they were doing the right thing. When boiled down, they are both holy wars.

 

[TheIronSheik]

I don't think the Pope has the guts to do it.

Let's be clear about something though: we would win.

Nobody beats the Bishop.

Who is "we"? The Catholics? Pfft. I think the Protestants could take the Catholics with one praying hand tied behind their backs.

Muslims don't follow the normal rules of war.

I thought we were talking about Protestants and Catholics.

 

[KCitons]

I don't think the Pope has the guts to do it.

Let's be clear about something though: we would win.

Nobody beats the Bishop.

Who is "we"? The Catholics? Pfft. I think the Protestants could take the Catholics with one praying hand tied behind their backs.

Muslims don't follow the normal rules of war.

I thought we were talking about Protestants and Catholics.

Nope, the Catholic Church is paranoid. They fear all other religions.

 

[Guest]

The Catholics cannot participate if they have: Used birth control, masturbated, had sex outside of marriage, been divorced, missed a day of church, ate meat on Friday during Lent, etc.

How many are we left with?

 

[KCitons]

The Catholics cannot participate if they have: Used birth control, masturbated, had sex outside of marriage, been divorced, missed a day of church, ate meat on Friday during Lent, etc.

How many are we left with?

eight, maybe nine.

 

[Guest]

The Catholics cannot participate if they have: Used birth control, masturbated, had sex outside of marriage, been divorced, missed a day of church, ate meat on Friday during Lent, etc.

How many are we left with?

eight, maybe nine.

So if they don't follow those rules, why would they follow the Pope's jihad?

 

[johnnycakes]

The Catholics cannot participate if they have: Used birth control, masturbated, had sex outside of marriage, been divorced, missed a day of church, ate meat on Friday during Lent, etc.

How many are we left with?

eight, maybe nine.

And they aren't even priests.

 

[SaintsInDome2006]

I don't think the Pope has the guts to do it.

Let's be clear about something though: we would win.

Nobody beats the Bishop.

Who is "we"? The Catholics? Pfft. I think the Protestants could take the Catholics with one praying hand tied behind their backs.

Muslims don't follow the normal rules of war.

They also don't have the NFL or cheerleaders, which is one of their major problems.

I have both of those in Philly.

Sure, and look how happy muslims in Philly are - but how about Riyadh, Baghdad, Damascus, Tehran, Aden, I think if we got the NFL to expand over there and send some Raiderettes to boot things would improve quickly.

 

[TheIronSheik]

I don't think the Pope has the guts to do it.

Let's be clear about something though: we would win.

Nobody beats the Bishop.

Who is "we"? The Catholics? Pfft. I think the Protestants could take the Catholics with one praying hand tied behind their backs.

Muslims don't follow the normal rules of war.

They also don't have the NFL or cheerleaders, which is one of their major problems.

I have both of those in Philly.

Sure, and look how happy muslims in Philly are - but how about Riyadh, Baghdad, Damascus, Tehran, Aden, I think if we got the NFL to expand over there and send some Raiderettes to boot things would improve quickly.

Oh, sure. Give the Muslims the crappy Raiders. <_<

 

[SaintsInDome2006]

I don't think the Pope has the guts to do it.

Let's be clear about something though: we would win.

Nobody beats the Bishop.

Who is "we"? The Catholics? Pfft. I think the Protestants could take the Catholics with one praying hand tied behind their backs.

Muslims don't follow the normal rules of war.

They also don't have the NFL or cheerleaders, which is one of their major problems.

I have both of those in Philly.

Sure, and look how happy muslims in Philly are - but how about Riyadh, Baghdad, Damascus, Tehran, Aden, I think if we got the NFL to expand over there and send some Raiderettes to boot things would improve quickly.

Oh, sure. Give the Muslims the crappy Raiders. <_<

Ok, ok, I just figured it would go over better than the Saints.