What's on the Dez Bryant video? [wildly speculate within] (1 Viewer)

[Clifford]

Maybe was in the hunting section when approached by Dallas Open Carry chapter, unloads on them while screaming "standing my ground" and causes massive carnage.

Nah, probably just raped a three year old.

 

[TheIronSheik]

Tried to exterminate the Jews during his quest to conquer Europe.

 

[Parrothead]

expressed interest in joining ISIS

 

[Clifford]

So if it beating wife/girlfriend, I would have to think that forcing her to go to Wal-Mart was part of the abuse.

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Punched his girlfriend in a haunted house.

 

[TheIronSheik]

Punched his girlfriend in a haunted house.

Late on this one.

 

[Tom Servo]

Punched his girlfriend in a haunted house.

Late on this one.

Real late.

 

[dickey moe]

Stole Skittles from Marshawn Lynch.

 

[Al O'Pecia]

Placed his erect penis on the Walmart greeter's shoulder and then claimed it was DeMarco Murray.

 

[FreeBaGeL]

Voted for Romney.

Mitt's a joke to you?

There was this guy. He believed in crystals and seer stones. He sold prospectors on the idea that he could use crystals and seer stones to find gold/sil. He never found any gold/sil for them, and essentially plead guilty to being a con-man in the end. A few years later, this con-man gave up on crystals and seer stones and now said that he had climbed this hill and been given golden tablets by an angel. Only he doesn't have the golden tablets anymore. But they were there, he swears.

Mitt Romney heard this story and said "Sounds legit! I believe this man."

 

[Soulfly3]

gotta be something to do with dry humping.

 

[VA703]

+1 rape vote

 

[Officer Pete Malloy]

Punched his girlfriend in a haunted house.

Late on this one.

Real late.

I'd like to take you guys to a haunted house.

 

[TheIronSheik]

Punched his girlfriend in a haunted house.

Late on this one.

Real late.

I'd like to take you guys to a haunted house.

 

[Idiot Boxer]

Deflated the Patriots footballs.

 

[Idiot Boxer]

Embellished his war zone reporting resume

 

[Idiot Boxer]

Did an interview with Chris Yandek in which he replied, "I'm all ####ed up, yo! How 'bout you?"

 

[Idiot Boxer]

Made fun of Zendaya's hair at The Oscars

 

[FlapJacks]

Did an interview with Chris Yandek in which he replied, "I'm all ####ed up, yo! How 'bout you?"

Yandek: First of all how are you?

Dez: I'm TRIPPIN' BALLS!!!!!!!!!

 

[B-Deep]

Dez dug the sinkhole:

http://news.yahoo.com/sinkhole-swallows-korean-couple-150426100.html

 

[flysack]

Voted for Romney.

Mitt's a joke to you?

There was this guy. He believed in crystals and seer stones. He sold prospectors on the idea that he could use crystals and seer stones to find gold/sil. He never found any gold/sil for them, and essentially plead guilty to being a con-man in the end. A few years later, this con-man gave up on crystals and seer stones and now said that he had climbed this hill and been given golden tablets by an angel. Only he doesn't have the golden tablets anymore. But they were there, he swears.

Mitt Romney heard this story and said "Sounds legit! I believe this man."

Yes, he's a joke.

 

[matuski]

/Narwhals

 

[Leroy Hoard]

Perhaps this should be called "Lies about Dez Bryant".

 

[shadyridr]

Knocks out a woman in five elevators

 

[KCitons]

Wrong guy again? This will probably turn out to be a video of Desmond Bryant.

 

[Fennis]

Adam Schefter giving Dez Bryant oral before a game.

 

[Franknbeans]

Bestiality or fisting

 

[jamny]

He shot J.R.

 

[Limp Ditka]

Bestiality or fisting

why not both?

 

[SWC]

there are about fifteen jokes in here that snotaction is going to be real worked up about some time take that to the bank bromigos

 

[Franknbeans]

I did consider an and/or

 

[elguapo07]

Seen purchasing woman's underwear and was overheard saying "I hope Tony will like me in these."

 

[MaxThreshold]

Seen purchasing woman's underwear and was overheard saying "I hope Tony will like me in these."

 

[Rayderr]

Video not released yet? Shocking.

 

[dickey moe]

Bestiality or fisting

why not both?

Depends on which one features more teeth.

 

[lakerstan]

Everybody Loves Raymond episodes.

 

[General Tso]

Caught making uncomfortable eye contact with MC Gas Money in a Panera Bread crapper.

 

[msommer]

Bestiality or fisting

why not both?

Isn't that being a vet?

 

[(HULK)]

Threw a Ritz cracker 60 yards and it hit a women, knocking her out of an elevator into 5 children.

 

[[icon]]

Threw a Ritz cracker 60 yards and it hit a women, knocking her out of an elevator into 5 children.

Some some stuff on teh twatters that indicate this is probably accurate.

 

[Annyong]

Maybe he's 4chan?

 

[Ditkaless Wonders]

Slaughtered the English language.

 

[Angry Beavers]

Crapped his pants and left his underwear in the ceiling at Jerry's World

 

[shadyridr]

Mike Florio basically said the video shows Dez Bryant in a Walmart parking lot in Lancaster, Tx dragging a woman out of a car and into another car. This incident happened in 2011 but the video has only recently surfaced. The police report says another man dragged the woman and only the vehicle was registered to Dez.

 

[Rayderr]

Mike Florio basically said the video shows Dez Bryant in a Walmart parking lot in Lancaster, Tx dragging a woman out of a car and into another car. This incident happened in 2011 but the video has only recently surfaced. The police report says another man dragged the woman and only the vehicle was registered to Dez.

Speculation is that the person who has the tape was blackmailing Bryant's agent, who kept paying and paying. But now that Bryant switched agents, the agent no longer paying and the holder is looking for another pay day.

 

[Al O'Pecia]

Mike Florio basically said the video shows Dez Bryant in a Walmart parking lot in Lancaster, Tx dragging a woman out of a car and into another car. This incident happened in 2011 but the video has only recently surfaced. The police report says another man dragged the woman and only the vehicle was registered to Dez.

If accurate, how's that "five times worse than Ray Rice"?Rice's incident also involved dragging plus, oh yeah, a vicious left hook to his fiancee's face. There must be some punches in the Dez incident or the dragging is caveman style where Dez drags her across the pavement by her hair.

And if accurate, the police officer who doctored his report to place the blame on the other guy instead of Dez has to also be crapping his pants over the potential release of the video.

 

[Fennis]

Jake Fracisine is reporting that Speculation is the video shows Dez Bryant buying the rest of a troops girl scout cookies and giving them to the homeless.

 

[HellToupee]

Voted for Romney.

Mitt's a joke to you?

There was this guy. He believed in crystals and seer stones. He sold prospectors on the idea that he could use crystals and seer stones to find gold/sil. He never found any gold/sil for them, and essentially plead guilty to being a con-man in the end. A few years later, this con-man gave up on crystals and seer stones and now said that he had climbed this hill and been given golden tablets by an angel. Only he doesn't have the golden tablets anymore. But they were there, he swears.

Mitt Romney heard this story and said "Sounds legit! I believe this man."

bigot

 

[Leroy Hoard]

Jake Fracisine is reporting that Speculation is the video shows Dez Bryant buying the rest of a troops girl scout cookies and giving them to the homeless.

As long as he was giving them the cookies and not the Girl Scouts, I guess that's ok.

 

[Sabertooth]

Maybe was in the hunting section when approached by Dallas Open Carry chapter, unloads on them while screaming "standing my ground" and causes massive carnage.

Nah, probably just raped a three year old.

wtf