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What's the dumbest thing you've ever done? (1 Viewer)
- Thread starter Zegras11
- Start date
Epic Problem
Footballguy
Honestly think my keyboard would break if I tried to type out every stupid thing I've done, but the topper may be this one.
On Lake Geneva one day with about 8 friends. 6 on the boat, 2 on the jetskis. We rendezvous out in the middle of the lake to switch who's turn it is on the jetskis. I'm on one of the jetskis, taking of my life vest asking who's next. As it's decided who's taking the next run, I throw the vest to that person and jump off the jetski towards the back of the boat to get back on. In that moment of me jumping off the ski and hitting the water, I hear all of this panic yelling "OH No!... EPIC DON'T"
I come back up to the surface and asked everyone what the problem is. Everyone's still in a panic asking me if I'm all right......
Much to my surprise, the boat didn't have an inboard motor. Swore it was but it wasn't. When I jumped the outboard motor was still running, just idling, but enough to probably do some serious damage if I made contact with it. Person piloting the boat was smart enough to dart over to the ignition and turn it off.
To this day, no one is sure if he did it in time or I just got lucky.
On Lake Geneva one day with about 8 friends. 6 on the boat, 2 on the jetskis. We rendezvous out in the middle of the lake to switch who's turn it is on the jetskis. I'm on one of the jetskis, taking of my life vest asking who's next. As it's decided who's taking the next run, I throw the vest to that person and jump off the jetski towards the back of the boat to get back on. In that moment of me jumping off the ski and hitting the water, I hear all of this panic yelling "OH No!... EPIC DON'T"
I come back up to the surface and asked everyone what the problem is. Everyone's still in a panic asking me if I'm all right......
Much to my surprise, the boat didn't have an inboard motor. Swore it was but it wasn't. When I jumped the outboard motor was still running, just idling, but enough to probably do some serious damage if I made contact with it. Person piloting the boat was smart enough to dart over to the ignition and turn it off.
To this day, no one is sure if he did it in time or I just got lucky.
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wikkidpissah
Footballguy
Not taking a radio job in Albuquerque waybackwhen.
I'd been a fairly big deal in Boston radio in the mid-late 70s. I'd twice been nominated for awards for news pieces and my half-hour comedy show got me an audition for the 2nd SNL in 1980. But i was young, the pressure got to me and i developed an ulcer so, when an old gf invited me out to her commune in NM, i took it. My year+ in paradise with naked hippie chicks was as good as it sounds but, having written a couple thousand pgs of scripted comedy over the previous few yrs, my mind never stopped racing. I thought a local radio gig might be something worth pursuing eventually so, when the muse would hit me, i would design characters for a drivetime show. Came up with a fish & game reporter named Thurston "Thirsty" Thornton, so drunk most of the time he couldnt remember which of his names was first, who always started out for elk or rainbow but always seemed to end up passed out under a pool table w his pants around his ankles @ a cholo or biker bar in his reports, Naomi Moon Goldberg, a hippie astrologer who i could can cart-after-cart of "table reads" for call-ins, a Chicano weatherman & Navajo statehouse reporter (i, part indian myself, do a top Native American syntax) probably waaaay too racist for nowadays but fine then and a number of other characters in my nothing-but-free time.
No substantial radio at all in Santa Fe, totally amateur FM scene in Albq, so i brought my CV and audition tape down to the offices of the largest media org in NM, KOB TV & radio. They had a well-established morning guy, but i didnt want to get up early anyway. They were excited to see someone with my resume (though it included no actual DJ experience) and offered me midday str8away. Great.
Now, about my budget for actors & remotes....Budget? We aint got no stinking budget. You can drive anywhere in Albq, even in rush hour, in ten minutes. No stinking budget. $38 a show (about $200 today), take it or leave it.
My ego wouldn't let me accept, so i gave em a giant ration of #### about not understanding how radio was exploding all over the country and they gave me a big yawn. Ended up moving to Burque several months later anyway and taking a psych hosp job for about half the radio offer. For the next few years, i saw guys who'd been behind me in Boston radio sign million-dollar gigs all around the nation.
Shouldacouldawoulda worked out the kinks of my act in NM and followed the trail to the top. There really aint an easier high-paying gig in the world. *kicks self*
I'd been a fairly big deal in Boston radio in the mid-late 70s. I'd twice been nominated for awards for news pieces and my half-hour comedy show got me an audition for the 2nd SNL in 1980. But i was young, the pressure got to me and i developed an ulcer so, when an old gf invited me out to her commune in NM, i took it. My year+ in paradise with naked hippie chicks was as good as it sounds but, having written a couple thousand pgs of scripted comedy over the previous few yrs, my mind never stopped racing. I thought a local radio gig might be something worth pursuing eventually so, when the muse would hit me, i would design characters for a drivetime show. Came up with a fish & game reporter named Thurston "Thirsty" Thornton, so drunk most of the time he couldnt remember which of his names was first, who always started out for elk or rainbow but always seemed to end up passed out under a pool table w his pants around his ankles @ a cholo or biker bar in his reports, Naomi Moon Goldberg, a hippie astrologer who i could can cart-after-cart of "table reads" for call-ins, a Chicano weatherman & Navajo statehouse reporter (i, part indian myself, do a top Native American syntax) probably waaaay too racist for nowadays but fine then and a number of other characters in my nothing-but-free time.
No substantial radio at all in Santa Fe, totally amateur FM scene in Albq, so i brought my CV and audition tape down to the offices of the largest media org in NM, KOB TV & radio. They had a well-established morning guy, but i didnt want to get up early anyway. They were excited to see someone with my resume (though it included no actual DJ experience) and offered me midday str8away. Great.
Now, about my budget for actors & remotes....Budget? We aint got no stinking budget. You can drive anywhere in Albq, even in rush hour, in ten minutes. No stinking budget. $38 a show (about $200 today), take it or leave it.
My ego wouldn't let me accept, so i gave em a giant ration of #### about not understanding how radio was exploding all over the country and they gave me a big yawn. Ended up moving to Burque several months later anyway and taking a psych hosp job for about half the radio offer. For the next few years, i saw guys who'd been behind me in Boston radio sign million-dollar gigs all around the nation.
Shouldacouldawoulda worked out the kinks of my act in NM and followed the trail to the top. There really aint an easier high-paying gig in the world. *kicks self*
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PlayaHata
Footballguy
- Drove home drunk from a bar in my early 20s. I had met a college friend there and we drove separately. When we left, unbeknownst to me, a police car followed me for about 4 miles straight, all the way until I turned into my apartment complex. My friend followed the cop car and told me about it the next day. Scared me straight and I've never driven drunk or even buzzed since.
- I hung Christmas lights on our steeply pitched 2nd story roof a good 30' high for about 8 years before finally giving in and telling my wife I wasn't going to do it anymore. The more I think about it, I'm shocked I never fell and severely injured myself or worse.
Chemical X
Footballguy
way too many to list. must’ve been 15 at bungalow colony for summer, when me and a buddy decided to walk to kutschers hotel. why? no idea. but, we chose to walk in the median of 17 the whole way, as cars buzzed by for 3 hours. took us about 4 hours in total. along the way we stopped for pizza, it was kosher. ran thru me and mid way thru walk i had to dump in the woods. compounded bad decisions with using my socks as toilet paper, so i had to walk most of the way sans socks. but, the payoff was getting drunk watching soupy sales. no idea how we got home, think my buddy’s dad got us. this was when we had no phones also, so no idea if people thought we were dead.
Anarchy99
Footballguy
top dog
Footballguy
When I was 22 a friend of mine was going to prison. We were at the bar sending him off. Tons of shots of 151, beers upon beers, etc. When it was time to go I asked another buddy to follow me home. In my drunken stupidity I decided to see if he could keep up with me. Floored it. In a residential neighborhood, pedal to the floor blowing stop sign after stop sign. To top it off, it was snowing. My buddy was like eff this, and turned off and went home. The last time I remember seeing my speedometer I was going over 80. Hit a dip in the road that you don't even feel when you are doing the speed limit of 25, and lost control. Fishtailed back and forth end up with the car laying on the drivers side door. I tried to climb up and out the passenger side door, but it was jammed. I bashed the door with my shoulder until it popped open, climbed out the top of the car, jumped down and ran home. I was literally a block away from my house. Lived with my parents at the time and woke up my old man. He was not too happy with me of course. Took me back to the car where the police were already waiting for me.
I clipped the side of a brick house. Somehow when I lost control I managed to miss a huge tree, hit the steps on the side of the house which flipped the car on the side and slid into the driveway. You can still see scuff marks in the brick of this house to this day. Ended up with a costly DUI, a banged up shoulder and a concussion. But I didn't kill anyone or myself.
By far the stupidest thing I've ever done. Was a very expensive wake up call for me as well. Met my wife a few months later and focused on her instead of the crazy friends I grew up with. Had to have a guardian angel watching out for me that day. Could have been SOOO much worse.
I clipped the side of a brick house. Somehow when I lost control I managed to miss a huge tree, hit the steps on the side of the house which flipped the car on the side and slid into the driveway. You can still see scuff marks in the brick of this house to this day. Ended up with a costly DUI, a banged up shoulder and a concussion. But I didn't kill anyone or myself.
By far the stupidest thing I've ever done. Was a very expensive wake up call for me as well. Met my wife a few months later and focused on her instead of the crazy friends I grew up with. Had to have a guardian angel watching out for me that day. Could have been SOOO much worse.
brun
Footballguy
Golf can bring out the idiot within.
Years ago a friend of mine was playing at some crappy 9 hole course. The 9th was a par 3 and the group ahead let his group hit on before they putted. My friend was standing just off the green as the other group was putting out. A guy in that group missed an easy putt, got pissed and flung his putter away, hitting my friend in the face. Dental work required IIRC.
wikkidpissah
Footballguy
Booming voice, too. "Radio personality" was the greatest gig, because only Imus, Stern & a few old-fashioned holdovers like Bob&Ray (Chris Elliot's dad & an Ed McMahon type) really had a handle on the format in those days, so one could pretty much go anywhere they wanted. Perfect for me, cuz i hate daily deadline pressures but, with this, i could just bomb out cart after cart (for digital folk, carts were li'l 8-track-type things you plug a whole mess of into a console so they could be played on cue) of #### during my manic cycles and then have enuff stuff to bluff my way thru on lazyman days.
Thing was, you had to be a DJ first - that was the career track - and i was having NO part of that. I felt like the great Albert Brooks did in his bit about the Worst People on Earth, "First, you got your incurable lepers, then DJs, then curable lepers...." (is it a coincidence that our President's initials are D.J.?). As i've told before, i got into radio cuz my gf was selling time at a new station, knew i'd spent a lot of time in recording studios and asked if i'd produce her commercials. The ad copy that the owners of Berzerko Bob's Discount Datsun & The Blinds Man wanted for their $4 spots was so bad that i'd make alternate versions just for grins. The jocks heard that and asked if i'd make some blackouts (skits) for them and the GM heard my voice and asked me to read the news and BOOM, i'm in radio.
Stupid me, the Albq gig was perfect because i wouldnta had to log DJ time first as i would have in larger markets; diverting my lazy hours up in the commune gave me a huge backlog of readymade ideas and i could flame out without ruining my rep. That's the havoc being too big for your britches wreaks. But thx for the kind words
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James Daulton
Footballguy
Two weeks ago a piece of bread was stuck in the toaster (plugged) in, so naturally I use the knife in my had to unstuck it.
Wife acted like I had just about stepped on the 3rd rail or something. I told her the breaker would flip before it killed me.
That's not the dumbest obviously but just the most recent.
Wife acted like I had just about stepped on the 3rd rail or something. I told her the breaker would flip before it killed me.
That's not the dumbest obviously but just the most recent.
roadkill1292
Footballguy
Much as I want to, this is a hard thread to enjoy reading. I've done things so colossally stupid that it causes me mental anguish to think about them, let alone recount them here.
Nathan R. Jessep
Footballguy
roadkill1292
Footballguy
Well, more like stupid to the point of needlessly endangering others and I don't want to give any more reasons to be shunned on this board.
I finished a work conference in Vegas. Got to the airport and was going through my luggage to find my passport. Couldn't find it. Looked everywhere (I thought). Thought maybe I left it at the hotel so grabbed a cab, threw my luggage and laptop in the trunk and raced back to the MGM grand. Asked the cabbie to wait for me. Left all my #### in the cab and ran back in to try to get in the room and find my passport. No passport. On my way back down it dawns on me that there is a decent chance the cab driver would have just left with my laptop. Luckily enough he was an honest dude and was where he said he would be. Takes me back to airport where I go through my bags thoroughly and found My passport right where I put it so I wouldn't forget. Didn't even miss my flight.
All kinds of stupid going on there.
All kinds of stupid going on there.
Uruk-Hai
Footballguy
This, for me. Looking back, I cannot believe I didn't kill people. Driving drunk, high, tripping, coked out of my mind on a three day run, other chemicals I didn't even know what was in them, etc....
Sometime around 1997, I had a few thousand dollars to invest and I had, up to that point, used a Legg Mason broker to help me with mutual funds, etc. When I told him I wanted to put some money into a specific company (I had Blockbuster and Boston Market in mind), he told me that he thought Apple would be a good buy as Steve Jobs was coming back. I did not like Apple (I was and still am a PC guy, and I thought Apple was for the uneducated.) My hubris and lack of trust in my Legg Mason guy led me to buy Boston Market (which went to zero pretty quickly). Even if I had bought $3000 worth of AAPL back then, I certainly would have taken profits in the meantime. But, just for kicks, I entered that info into an online calculator which gladly told me that had I invested $3000 in AAPL and let it grow until today, it would have been worth $885,564.
