Wife asked me to pick up a pregnancy test... (1 Viewer)

[captain_amazing]

My first thought was to start hiding money.

Weren't trying, don't have kids now, use protection all of the time. What's my play?

 

[Sinrman]

Start saving for college....................

 

[KCitons]

Pee on the stick

 

[The Big Guy]

Snip snip

 

[Slinger]

First off, other orifices down?

Demand a Prenatal DNA Paternity Test over dinner tonight. Explain that it's not personal. Do the dishes tonight to soften the blow.

 

[KingPrawn]

Sorry

 

[jon_mx]

First off, other orifices down?

Demand a Prenatal DNA Paternity Test over dinner tonight. Explain that it's not personal. Do the dishes tonight to soften the blow.

Excellent idea. You can never be too careful. Purely precautionary test. You never really know if your wife might have banged a midget at some bachelorette party or something.

 

[Osaurus]

Snip snip

This. Only way to be sure.

 

[Mario Kart]

Is it yours?

 

[fantasycurse42]

My first thought was to start hiding money.

Weren't trying, don't have kids now, use protection all of the time. What's my play?

I'd rather cut off my ####...

Also this defeats the purpose of marriage.

 

[rockaction]

My first thought was to start hiding money.

Weren't trying, don't have kids now, use protection all of the time. What's my play?

I'd rather cut off my ####...

Also this defeats the purpose of marriage.

I'm also drawing a line in the sand at condoms and marriage. No way.

 

[captain_amazing]

Test will happen later tonight. Will report back.

 

[jon_mx]

My first thought was to start hiding money.

Weren't trying, don't have kids now, use protection all of the time. What's my play?

I'd rather cut off my ####...

Also this defeats the purpose of marriage.

I'm also drawing a line in the sand at condoms and marriage. No way.

He does not specify his protection method. Maybe she is on the pill. Or maybe he pulls out. Or maybe his protection is banging other chicks and gives a fake name..

 

[ChiefD]

Test will happen later tonight. Will report back.

No way your wife waits til tonight to find out if she's pregnant.

See you in 10 minutes.

 

[Cjw_55106]

How old are the two of you? How long you been married?

 

[rockaction]

My first thought was to start hiding money.

Weren't trying, don't have kids now, use protection all of the time. What's my play?

I'd rather cut off my ####...

Also this defeats the purpose of marriage.

I'm also drawing a line in the sand at condoms and marriage. No way.

He does not specify his protection method. Maybe she is on the pill. Or maybe he pulls out. Or maybe his protection is banging other chicks and gives a fake name..

I know, but "use protection" is generally the euphemism for using a condom. It's rarely applied to the pill or other methods of birth control. If he means the pill or an IUD or something else, then I recant.

 

[shadyridr]

Congrats man

 

[comfortably numb]

Could be worse?

Could have asked to pick one up for your teen daughter?

 

[captain_amazing]

Protection was pills and condoms. She was off the pill for a little bit, which is why we were worried. I'm super paranoid about her getting pregnant - just want to wait a few years, so I figure being extra safe is better.

 

[shadyridr]

Using condoms while married is the ultimate epic fail in life.

 

[captain_amazing]

Using condoms while married is the ultimate epic fail in life.

Unplanned pregnancies are less of an epic fail?

 

[Tecumseh]

As long as this doesn't interfere with you providing tremendous tech advice on these boards, you have my blessing.

 

[eoMMan]

Plan B?

Strenuous ab exercises?

 

[PinkydaPimp]

Sure. Im IN

eta: Check her recent text messages tonight

 

[shadyridr]

Using condoms while married is the ultimate epic fail in life.

Unplanned pregnancies are less of an epic fail?

Absolutely

 

[Das Boot]

Did she buy it for herself?

 

[Tom Servo]

Start saving for college....................

And toys, clothes, diapers, wipes and everything else kids require.

 

[Van Dyman]

Why is this thread here? You clearly don't want to have a baby right now. So don't. I don't understand the problem.

 

[Bucky86]

 

[flapgreen]

Join the rest of us in the vasectomy thread.

 

[AcerFC]

Lol at the guys saying condoms and marriage is failure.

Ill be damned if I have a third kid. Im done. I don't want anymore. Wife was in the pill for a long time. Plenty of evidence its not great for health and she believes contributed to her sister getting cancer. Im not arguing with her. Sure, I can get snipped and will, but haven't yet

Condom >>>>> a third kid I don't want

 

[Corporation]

Lol at the guys saying condoms and marriage is failure.

Ill be damned if I have a third kid. Im done. I don't want anymore. Wife was in the pill for a long time. Plenty of evidence its not great for health and she believes contributed to her sister getting cancer. Im not arguing with her. Sure, I can get snipped and will, but haven't yet

Condom >>>>> a third kid I don't want

I hope the third kid you are destined to have now doesn't see this.

 

[flapgreen]

I don't want it!

 

[AcerFC]

Lol at the guys saying condoms and marriage is failure.

Ill be damned if I have a third kid. Im done. I don't want anymore. Wife was in the pill for a long time. Plenty of evidence its not great for health and she believes contributed to her sister getting cancer. Im not arguing with her. Sure, I can get snipped and will, but haven't yet

Condom >>>>> a third kid I don't want

I hope the third kid you are destined to have now doesn't see this.

listen, if it happened, I would hate this kid as much as I hate the two now.

 

[KarmaPolice]

Maybe it is just a test to see your reaction? The wimmins be crazy like that.

 

[captain_amazing]

Just got home.

Have a drink with me fellas - I'm in the clear!

That really is freakin stomach twisting suspense when you're in that situation, which we rarely on in - at least since we were both much younger.

 

[captain_amazing]

As long as this doesn't interfere with you providing tremendous tech advice on these boards, you have my blessing.

:thumbsup:

 

[Corporation]

Lol at the guys saying condoms and marriage is failure.

Ill be damned if I have a third kid. Im done. I don't want anymore. Wife was in the pill for a long time. Plenty of evidence its not great for health and she believes contributed to her sister getting cancer. Im not arguing with her. Sure, I can get snipped and will, but haven't yet

Condom >>>>> a third kid I don't want

I hope the third kid you are destined to have now doesn't see this.

listen, if it happened, I would hate this kid as much as I hate the two now.

At least they are treated equally

 

[comfortably numb]

Just got home.

Have a drink with me fellas - I'm in the clear!

That really is freakin stomach twisting suspense when you're in that situation, which we rarely on in - at least since we were both much younger.

Abortion down?

 

[captain_amazing]

Just got home.

Have a drink with me fellas - I'm in the clear!

That really is freakin stomach twisting suspense when you're in that situation, which we rarely on in - at least since we were both much younger.

Abortion down?

 

[ClownCausedChaos2]

Just got home.

Have a drink with me fellas - I'm in the clear!

That really is freakin stomach twisting suspense when you're in that situation, which we rarely on in - at least since we were both much younger.

Abortion down?

Accidental nudges down the stairs are still free, right?

 

[Tom Servo]

Lol at the guys saying condoms and marriage is failure.

Ill be damned if I have a third kid. Im done. I don't want anymore. Wife was in the pill for a long time. Plenty of evidence its not great for health and she believes contributed to her sister getting cancer. Im not arguing with her. Sure, I can get snipped and will, but haven't yet

Condom >>>>> a third kid I don't want

What are waiting for? I had mine less than a month after my second was born.

 

[AcerFC]

Lol at the guys saying condoms and marriage is failure.

Ill be damned if I have a third kid. Im done. I don't want anymore. Wife was in the pill for a long time. Plenty of evidence its not great for health and she believes contributed to her sister getting cancer. Im not arguing with her. Sure, I can get snipped and will, but haven't yet

Condom >>>>> a third kid I don't want

What are waiting for? I had mine less than a month after my second was born.

I honestly can't say. I will call tomorrow

 

[Baloney Sandwich]

Shark play is to get her to agree on just anal until you two are ready for kids. Bum babies don't grow.

 

[EMHO]

My wife told me she was pregnant on 4/1. I laughed. Five weeks later we found out we were having twins. I cried.

 

[Short Corner]

Just got home.

Have a drink with me fellas - I'm in the clear!

That really is freakin stomach twisting suspense when you're in that situation, which we rarely on in - at least since we were both much younger.

So whose is it?

 

[GoFishTN]

My wife told me she was pregnant on 4/1. I laughed. Five weeks later we found out we were having twins. I cried.

Twins are awesome. Eventually.

 

[Capella]

Lol at the guys saying condoms and marriage is failure.

Ill be damned if I have a third kid. Im done. I don't want anymore. Wife was in the pill for a long time. Plenty of evidence its not great for health and she believes contributed to her sister getting cancer. Im not arguing with her. Sure, I can get snipped and will, but haven't yet

Condom >>>>> a third kid I don't want

I hope the third kid you are destined to have now doesn't see this.

listen, if it happened, I would hate this kid as much as I hate the two now.

 

[bostonfred]

it sounds like you failed her test. expect less sexy time going forward.

 

[SeveredHorseHeads]

it sounds like you failed her test. expect less sexy time going forward.

at treating "Honey, pick me up a pregnancy test." the same as "Honey, pick me up some milk." I don't know what the test was, but you likely failed.