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Wife Is Beating Breast Cancer (1 Viewer)

cheeseypoof

Footballguy
Appointment today.

I forgot to mention that my FIL is a retired Doctor, so that is a helpful resource. While waiting for our doctor my wife told me that before her Dad said to forget whoever we were referred to and that he wanted us to go to a specific Doctor... it was the Doctor we were referred to.

She was very nice and I think my wife is very comfortable with her. She apparently has the bona fides as well based on reputation etc.

She went over the test results of what has already been done. We do not know the stage until further tests are done. There are multiple tumors (either 2 or 3) and it is a grade 3. Various further tests will be scheduled like CTscan, MRI, etc which will show stage and other info. It is the most common type of cancer but not the hormonal one so no hormonal treatment is likely. That my wife doesn't feel bad or have health issues is a good sign that it hasn't spread.

The course for treatment is chemo right away and then a mastectomy followed by radiation. The Doctor said.... I forgot how she put it..... maybe.... this cancer reacts favorably to chemo.... which is why chemo is up first.

My wife teared up when they said the mastectomy but other than that she held up well. After the appointment, she went to work. The Doctor said that people that continue with life as normal tend to do better. If that is the case.... my wife already as this thing beat. I asked on the way home if she wanted to get lunch and she said sure but then we forgot we had to pick up her work car so we did that and she got ready and left for work afterwards. Me asking about her eating was more about trying to judge how she was feeling because asking her how she was feeling and getting "ok" was nice but her appetite really tells me how she is doing emotionally. After the Doctor left, she said she might as well do the double mastectomy in a matter of fact kind of way.

Along with the tests they are working on scheduling the chemo doctor (forgot the real name), dietician and that once all the test come back, it will go to a board of doctors for them to review and make recommendations or additions based on all of that in case there was something they see. I liked the Doctor because she didn't approach it like she was a god in control of everything but that she was there to use her expertise and "be in the background all the time" even when dealing with other Doctors etc.

I asked some questions but then I kind of froze, so I didn't ask everything I wanted to. I should have written it down. After asking some things.... the next thing I wanted to ask was the survivability rate but I couldn't do it. I was going to break down and I didn't want to break down and instead be strong. Once I realized I couldn't ask that, I blanked on everything else.

The nurse came in and was very nice as well. Gave us a book and a care package from ULTA. She was very focused on her (our) emotional well being and going through the process.

So... I guess a mix bag.... multiple tumors grade 3 is not good. Her health and that it is a kind that chemo is effective against is good. We will see how all the tests go through.

Trying to focus on doing life. We didn't talk about telling people in general and our kids but being that we will start with chemo and that it will prob be about two weeks to start, I think we need to tell the kids as I don't think you can really hide that.
In my experiences with my wife’s liver issues and my own cancer and kidney issues, liking your doctor goes a long way.

I also think a positive attitude and self determination go a long way as well. Try not to let her, or yourself, dwell on the “why me” as you go through the process. That does nobody any good.

Keeping you both in my thoughts a prayers.
 

Chadstroma

Footballguy
Appointment today.

I forgot to mention that my FIL is a retired Doctor, so that is a helpful resource. While waiting for our doctor my wife told me that before her Dad said to forget whoever we were referred to and that he wanted us to go to a specific Doctor... it was the Doctor we were referred to.

She was very nice and I think my wife is very comfortable with her. She apparently has the bona fides as well based on reputation etc.

She went over the test results of what has already been done. We do not know the stage until further tests are done. There are multiple tumors (either 2 or 3) and it is a grade 3. Various further tests will be scheduled like CTscan, MRI, etc which will show stage and other info. It is the most common type of cancer but not the hormonal one so no hormonal treatment is likely. That my wife doesn't feel bad or have health issues is a good sign that it hasn't spread.

The course for treatment is chemo right away and then a mastectomy followed by radiation. The Doctor said.... I forgot how she put it..... maybe.... this cancer reacts favorably to chemo.... which is why chemo is up first.

My wife teared up when they said the mastectomy but other than that she held up well. After the appointment, she went to work. The Doctor said that people that continue with life as normal tend to do better. If that is the case.... my wife already as this thing beat. I asked on the way home if she wanted to get lunch and she said sure but then we forgot we had to pick up her work car so we did that and she got ready and left for work afterwards. Me asking about her eating was more about trying to judge how she was feeling because asking her how she was feeling and getting "ok" was nice but her appetite really tells me how she is doing emotionally. After the Doctor left, she said she might as well do the double mastectomy in a matter of fact kind of way.

Along with the tests they are working on scheduling the chemo doctor (forgot the real name), dietician and that once all the test come back, it will go to a board of doctors for them to review and make recommendations or additions based on all of that in case there was something they see. I liked the Doctor because she didn't approach it like she was a god in control of everything but that she was there to use her expertise and "be in the background all the time" even when dealing with other Doctors etc.

I asked some questions but then I kind of froze, so I didn't ask everything I wanted to. I should have written it down. After asking some things.... the next thing I wanted to ask was the survivability rate but I couldn't do it. I was going to break down and I didn't want to break down and instead be strong. Once I realized I couldn't ask that, I blanked on everything else.

The nurse came in and was very nice as well. Gave us a book and a care package from ULTA. She was very focused on her (our) emotional well being and going through the process.

So... I guess a mix bag.... multiple tumors grade 3 is not good. Her health and that it is a kind that chemo is effective against is good. We will see how all the tests go through.

Trying to focus on doing life. We didn't talk about telling people in general and our kids but being that we will start with chemo and that it will prob be about two weeks to start, I think we need to tell the kids as I don't think you can really hide that.
In my experiences with my wife’s liver issues and my own cancer and kidney issues, liking your doctor goes a long way.

I also think a positive attitude and self determination go a long way as well. Try not to let her, or yourself, dwell on the “why me” as you go through the process. That does nobody any good.

Keeping you both in my thoughts a prayers.
A big reason that I have kept my own struggles to myself is that she is doing great keeping positive. I don't want me to bring her down on that. I can't control how I feel but I can control what I do with it... and I think right now it is better for me to work through it and vent to others other than her. It may not be the best for me but I think it is best for her and I am ok with that.
 

cheeseypoof

Footballguy
Appointment today.

I forgot to mention that my FIL is a retired Doctor, so that is a helpful resource. While waiting for our doctor my wife told me that before her Dad said to forget whoever we were referred to and that he wanted us to go to a specific Doctor... it was the Doctor we were referred to.

She was very nice and I think my wife is very comfortable with her. She apparently has the bona fides as well based on reputation etc.

She went over the test results of what has already been done. We do not know the stage until further tests are done. There are multiple tumors (either 2 or 3) and it is a grade 3. Various further tests will be scheduled like CTscan, MRI, etc which will show stage and other info. It is the most common type of cancer but not the hormonal one so no hormonal treatment is likely. That my wife doesn't feel bad or have health issues is a good sign that it hasn't spread.

The course for treatment is chemo right away and then a mastectomy followed by radiation. The Doctor said.... I forgot how she put it..... maybe.... this cancer reacts favorably to chemo.... which is why chemo is up first.

My wife teared up when they said the mastectomy but other than that she held up well. After the appointment, she went to work. The Doctor said that people that continue with life as normal tend to do better. If that is the case.... my wife already as this thing beat. I asked on the way home if she wanted to get lunch and she said sure but then we forgot we had to pick up her work car so we did that and she got ready and left for work afterwards. Me asking about her eating was more about trying to judge how she was feeling because asking her how she was feeling and getting "ok" was nice but her appetite really tells me how she is doing emotionally. After the Doctor left, she said she might as well do the double mastectomy in a matter of fact kind of way.

Along with the tests they are working on scheduling the chemo doctor (forgot the real name), dietician and that once all the test come back, it will go to a board of doctors for them to review and make recommendations or additions based on all of that in case there was something they see. I liked the Doctor because she didn't approach it like she was a god in control of everything but that she was there to use her expertise and "be in the background all the time" even when dealing with other Doctors etc.

I asked some questions but then I kind of froze, so I didn't ask everything I wanted to. I should have written it down. After asking some things.... the next thing I wanted to ask was the survivability rate but I couldn't do it. I was going to break down and I didn't want to break down and instead be strong. Once I realized I couldn't ask that, I blanked on everything else.

The nurse came in and was very nice as well. Gave us a book and a care package from ULTA. She was very focused on her (our) emotional well being and going through the process.

So... I guess a mix bag.... multiple tumors grade 3 is not good. Her health and that it is a kind that chemo is effective against is good. We will see how all the tests go through.

Trying to focus on doing life. We didn't talk about telling people in general and our kids but being that we will start with chemo and that it will prob be about two weeks to start, I think we need to tell the kids as I don't think you can really hide that.
In my experiences with my wife’s liver issues and my own cancer and kidney issues, liking your doctor goes a long way.

I also think a positive attitude and self determination go a long way as well. Try not to let her, or yourself, dwell on the “why me” as you go through the process. That does nobody any good.

Keeping you both in my thoughts a prayers.
A big reason that I have kept my own struggles to myself is that she is doing great keeping positive. I don't want me to bring her down on that. I can't control how I feel but I can control what I do with it... and I think right now it is better for me to work through it and vent to others other than her. It may not be the best for me but I think it is best for her and I am ok with that.
Been there and did the same thing with my wife. Found other outlets to discuss my fears and concerns.

Good luck Good Buddy!
 

Manster

Footballguy
Yesterday was the appointment with the Oncologist. Very nice man with great bedside manner.

Most of all the tests that were done have come in except the bone one. The meeting was pretty much the best I could hope for based on what we already knew (that there were multiple tumors in her breast and armpit, grade III). One thing that was negative but I think it was more news to me than actual news is that some lymph nodes under the armpit have cancer.

Other than that the big news for me was that there was no detection of any cancer anywhere else. That is obviously huge. We still need the bone stuff to come back but the Doctor said unlikely to have anything. I asked about stage and based on everything he sees, stage 2 which again was best case scenario knowing she had localized spread for sure.

Apparently the HER2 vs hormone thing cancer use to be that the HER2 was the one you didn't want but because of advances in medicine, the HER2 is the better one to have now. He laid out three different treatment plans. The first two were the normal options and the third is a clinical trial. From what I can see the clinical trial is more about how they administer the drugs of option 1 than any different or added drugs. It is ACTH. The normal option is to give all the drugs through... 12 weeks (I think, she gave all our notes to her Dad). The clinical trial focuses on the HER2 drug side first with adding the other chemo drugs later if needed. I asked the doctor, if it was his family member, which one would he tell them to do and he said the clinical trial. My wife was leaning towards the clinical trial. We gave all the info to her father (as mentioned earlier, he is a Doctor) so he could weigh in. We are not locked into the trial and can change at any time if for any reason the Doctor or us want to. Best case is that we start and the tumor shrinks and dies then we do the surgery.

The other thing we are waiting on is the genetic testing. If not genetic then there is very little worry about it reoccurring in the other breast. If it is then it could and there may be other treatments or do surgery on both breasts.

She has to do a couple things... a heart test thing to get a baseline for one of the potential side effects of the meds and a port implant to assist with stuff and then we will begin treatment which should be somewhere between 1-2 weeks.

I am feeling way better now. I was really fighting depression. Trying to be strong for her but struggling emotionally/mentally then trying to hide that from her. Our anniversary was the 30th. 12 years. I am the *** that forgot about it that day and on top of that the gift I ordered is still not in.... and I went back in and saw that I am a moron and put 10 years on the throw rug (linen) instead of 12 years. I think because I put the date on there (10/30/10) and had 10 on my mind.... I dunno.... I am just an idiot basically. So, here is your lame late anniversary present that is actually an error hon!

Oh and it was a really odd experience watching another man feel up my wife's bare breasts for several minutes and not want to lay him out.
Some great news in there!

Give yourself some grace! I bet she will.....you guys can laugh about the throw rug for years to come.

Sending positive thoughts your way!
 

Chadstroma

Footballguy
Yesterday was the appointment with the Oncologist. Very nice man with great bedside manner.

Most of all the tests that were done have come in except the bone one. The meeting was pretty much the best I could hope for based on what we already knew (that there were multiple tumors in her breast and armpit, grade III). One thing that was negative but I think it was more news to me than actual news is that some lymph nodes under the armpit have cancer.

Other than that the big news for me was that there was no detection of any cancer anywhere else. That is obviously huge. We still need the bone stuff to come back but the Doctor said unlikely to have anything. I asked about stage and based on everything he sees, stage 2 which again was best case scenario knowing she had localized spread for sure.

Apparently the HER2 vs hormone thing cancer use to be that the HER2 was the one you didn't want but because of advances in medicine, the HER2 is the better one to have now. He laid out three different treatment plans. The first two were the normal options and the third is a clinical trial. From what I can see the clinical trial is more about how they administer the drugs of option 1 than any different or added drugs. It is ACTH. The normal option is to give all the drugs through... 12 weeks (I think, she gave all our notes to her Dad). The clinical trial focuses on the HER2 drug side first with adding the other chemo drugs later if needed. I asked the doctor, if it was his family member, which one would he tell them to do and he said the clinical trial. My wife was leaning towards the clinical trial. We gave all the info to her father (as mentioned earlier, he is a Doctor) so he could weigh in. We are not locked into the trial and can change at any time if for any reason the Doctor or us want to. Best case is that we start and the tumor shrinks and dies then we do the surgery.

The other thing we are waiting on is the genetic testing. If not genetic then there is very little worry about it reoccurring in the other breast. If it is then it could and there may be other treatments or do surgery on both breasts.

She has to do a couple things... a heart test thing to get a baseline for one of the potential side effects of the meds and a port implant to assist with stuff and then we will begin treatment which should be somewhere between 1-2 weeks.

I am feeling way better now. I was really fighting depression. Trying to be strong for her but struggling emotionally/mentally then trying to hide that from her. Our anniversary was the 30th. 12 years. I am the *** that forgot about it that day and on top of that the gift I ordered is still not in.... and I went back in and saw that I am a moron and put 10 years on the throw rug (linen) instead of 12 years. I think because I put the date on there (10/30/10) and had 10 on my mind.... I dunno.... I am just an idiot basically. So, here is your lame late anniversary present that is actually an error hon!

Oh and it was a really odd experience watching another man feel up my wife's bare breasts for several minutes and not want to lay him out.
Some great news in there!

Give yourself some grace! I bet she will.....you guys can laugh about the throw rug for years to come.

Sending positive thoughts your way!
Yesterday the throw rug came in. I told her before she got home "Your anniversary present is here... and um.... well.... it is just further proof that you married underneath you." She said "oh no, what?" and I said, "Well, you will see"

She gets home. I show her and she immediately is like "What?! Seriously?"

I immediately was like "I obviously knew it was 12 years because linen is 12 years and the throw rug is linen.... I just got confused somehow.... I think all the tens in the date messed me up." sheepishly.

She laughed.
 

IrishTwinkie

Footballguy
This should become schitck from now on. Just sayin.
Me being an idiot? No, unfortunately no shtick.
Oh, no-no. If it were me, this now becomes a running joke until the end of time. I still have stuff I pull out every now and again from when my wife and I were dating.

And just for fair play: I was making a joke, to my self, when I was planing for an upcoming anniversary. I was creating a scavenger hunt for my then young kids in order to keep them out of our hair for awhile. Well... the joke escaped, total screw up on my part. The kids and wife saw it. This slip still comes up every so often, even 8 years later. It is now hilarious. Both my wife and kids needle me about it when the time is right.

We are human. Mistakes happen. Laugh at it.
 

GroveDiesel

Footballguy
I dropped her off for another test today. Before that she told me that she didn't think I should coach my sons basketball team this season due to her going through treatments and not going to be available a lot of the time to do the driving for drop off/pick up etc for the kids various sport stuff.

I am not going to lie, I enjoy coaching so it would suck for me but the thing I am really torn on is that the one thing that I thought was important with the kids was to try to keep things as normal as possible for them and for them to not lose out on things. On the other hand, I totally understand what she is saying. She isn't going to be able to help with that stuff for a long stretch and will need help for getting to appointments and just someone tending to her etc.

I did not reply to her because I am still processing it. I am not sure what the best thing to do here is.

Just a thought here, but this may be your wife’s way of telling you that she emotionally needs you there with her at these appointments.
 

Chadstroma

Footballguy
This should become schitck from now on. Just sayin.
Me being an idiot? No, unfortunately no shtick.
Oh, no-no. If it were me, this now becomes a running joke until the end of time. I still have stuff I pull out every now and again from when my wife and I were dating.

And just for fair play: I was making a joke, to my self, when I was planing for an upcoming anniversary. I was creating a scavenger hunt for my then young kids in order to keep them out of our hair for awhile. Well... the joke escaped, total screw up on my part. The kids and wife saw it. This slip still comes up every so often, even 8 years later. It is now hilarious. Both my wife and kids needle me about it when the time is right.

We are human. Mistakes happen. Laugh at it.
This was not a one off type thing. I dead pan it a lot but I have a self-depreciating sense of humor.

I told my kids about this in the car. My daugther asked "why did you do that Daddy?" and I replied, "Well, because Daddy is an idiot". They laughed.

There is about 15 years worth of things to laugh at- this is not a tep ten thing. lol
 

Chadstroma

Footballguy
I dropped her off for another test today. Before that she told me that she didn't think I should coach my sons basketball team this season due to her going through treatments and not going to be available a lot of the time to do the driving for drop off/pick up etc for the kids various sport stuff.

I am not going to lie, I enjoy coaching so it would suck for me but the thing I am really torn on is that the one thing that I thought was important with the kids was to try to keep things as normal as possible for them and for them to not lose out on things. On the other hand, I totally understand what she is saying. She isn't going to be able to help with that stuff for a long stretch and will need help for getting to appointments and just someone tending to her etc.

I did not reply to her because I am still processing it. I am not sure what the best thing to do here is.

Just a thought here, but this may be your wife’s way of telling you that she emotionally needs you there with her at these appointments.
We talked about it and she decided on wanting me to coach... she just asked that if I had the option to ask to be the Assistant Coach and not Head Coach to make it easier for me to miss if needed. Her concern is more about the logistics of it all. Our daughter has club volleyball and school volleyball. My son will have the basketball and then also club swim. Last year at this time, we just had school volleyball and my sons basketball and there was more than a little conflict on scheduling where she would have to take my daughter and I would coach the team. It will be busier this time around with the added sports and there is a good chance there will be times she isn't feeling well enough to do anything.

I am not sure though but I think I might be solo on coaching the team. There are three teams in our grade. I know of 5 coaches including me. I got to see the kids roster and most of the kids I am could pair up to who their Dads are and I don't think they are coaching... there are a couple of kids who I am not sure about. Hopefully one of them is coaching with me.

One way or another, we will figure it out.
 

Manster

Footballguy
This should become schitck from now on. Just sayin.
Me being an idiot? No, unfortunately no shtick.
Oh, no-no. If it were me, this now becomes a running joke until the end of time. I still have stuff I pull out every now and again from when my wife and I were dating.

And just for fair play: I was making a joke, to my self, when I was planing for an upcoming anniversary. I was creating a scavenger hunt for my then young kids in order to keep them out of our hair for awhile. Well... the joke escaped, total screw up on my part. The kids and wife saw it. This slip still comes up every so often, even 8 years later. It is now hilarious. Both my wife and kids needle me about it when the time is right.

We are human. Mistakes happen. Laugh at it.
This was not a one off type thing. I dead pan it a lot but I have a self-depreciating sense of humor.

I told my kids about this in the car. My daugther asked "why did you do that Daddy?" and I replied, "Well, because Daddy is an idiot". They laughed.

There is about 15 years worth of things to laugh at- this is not a tep ten thing. lol
Well you got a great wife, right? I'm sure the kids are lovely.....so you're doing something right!
 

Chadstroma

Footballguy
Port surgery is today. It went well and she is sore but ok.

Meds start Thursday.

We told the kids last night.

My daughter had suspected because of my wife missing work (she never misses work), multiple doctor appointments and then she found the cancer book. When we told them, the boys were acting super goofy. I think it was my middle son not knowing how to react and then the little one not really understanding. A little later, he buried his head down into a blanket. My daughter was trying to hold in the crying and when my wife was trying to talk to my middle son and asked me to take the others out.... she started breaking down and then hyper ventilating. I was calming her and getting her to take big breaths. Held her and hugged her. She wouldn't talk to me though. So, after a bit, she went back to my wife and they talked (that is when my wife found out she suspected and thus figured out it was cancer). We didn't use the cancer word so my middle son understands she is sick and is worried. He told her that he didn't want her to die. She soothed him. The youngest does not really grasp what is happening but he did ask me today if she was going to be alright.

I didn't detect any unusual behavior today with them.
 

SWC

Bromigo
jesus chadstroma this is heartbreaking but i think you are all going to get through it and be stronger for it i have faith and i will keep you in my prayers my heart goes out to you and yours
 

Chadstroma

Footballguy
Trying to coordinate help from three primary people that will assist with mostly things like pick up/drop off for kids activities and other assistance needed.
I was going to just do my own calendar and then ask for help in a group text when needed help. My sister in law, one of those helping, said to do Google Pages or something (I dont know what or how) and just spent time trying to figure out what. She said it would be best because then people could just got in and mark things or whatever. Does anyone have any suggestions? Preferable to me being able to import/export easily from a calendar too.

Again, the most help would come in assisting me with my kids activities (if that makes a difference)
 

Chadstroma

Footballguy
Second chemo round today. Only two hours and went well with no side effects. She has been doing well since the first treatment... even worked a few days. Some fatigue, some nausea, and the normal things. She has complained about cotton mouth and a metallic taste in her mouth. Her spirit is up and she is doing well.

For those who have never had someone close go through cancer treatment... you are suppose to be very careful about any body fluids. I basically have been kicked out of our master bathroom. But tonight, she used the bathroom and it overflowed for some reason (it really doesn't happen unless one of my kids ends up putting an entire roll of toilet paper or something like that). So, she has me take the bathroom rugs (no idea what they are really called) and put in the wash. Our bathroom happens to be right above where the washer and dryer are... make a long story short.... I got dripped on. Now that is normally gross being what it is but now I have to hope the chemo drugs were sufficiently diluted as well. Great.

Normally she would be in the kitchen right now... cooking up a storm getting ready for tomorrow. She may do some cooking tomorrow if she feels up to it. She may just sit and tell my daughter what to do.

Counting our blessings... it can certainly be worse.
 

IrishTwinkie

Footballguy
Trying to coordinate help from three primary people that will assist with mostly things like pick up/drop off for kids activities and other assistance needed.
I was going to just do my own calendar and then ask for help in a group text when needed help. My sister in law, one of those helping, said to do Google Pages or something (I dont know what or how) and just spent time trying to figure out what. She said it would be best because then people could just got in and mark things or whatever. Does anyone have any suggestions? Preferable to me being able to import/export easily from a calendar too.

Again, the most help would come in assisting me with my kids activities (if that makes a difference)
LotsAHelpingHands.

I’ll find a link.

Eta

 

Tecumseh

Footballguy
Second chemo round today. Only two hours and went well with no side effects. She has been doing well since the first treatment... even worked a few days. Some fatigue, some nausea, and the normal things. She has complained about cotton mouth and a metallic taste in her mouth. Her spirit is up and she is doing well.

For those who have never had someone close go through cancer treatment... you are suppose to be very careful about any body fluids. I basically have been kicked out of our master bathroom. But tonight, she used the bathroom and it overflowed for some reason (it really doesn't happen unless one of my kids ends up putting an entire roll of toilet paper or something like that). So, she has me take the bathroom rugs (no idea what they are really called) and put in the wash. Our bathroom happens to be right above where the washer and dryer are... make a long story short.... I got dripped on. Now that is normally gross being what it is but now I have to hope the chemo drugs were sufficiently diluted as well. Great.

Normally she would be in the kitchen right now... cooking up a storm getting ready for tomorrow. She may do some cooking tomorrow if she feels up to it. She may just sit and tell my daughter what to do.

Counting our blessings... it can certainly be worse.
Getting a drip on you isn’t ideal, but as long as you washed the affected area thoroughly with soap and water as quickly as possible it shouldn’t be an issue.
ETA: It would be worth asking the nurses at the infusion center if you could have a few pairs of chemo-rated gloves to take home for a just in case scenario like this. They won’t care. We burn through hundreds/day.
 

Chadstroma

Footballguy
Trying to coordinate help from three primary people that will assist with mostly things like pick up/drop off for kids activities and other assistance needed.
I was going to just do my own calendar and then ask for help in a group text when needed help. My sister in law, one of those helping, said to do Google Pages or something (I dont know what or how) and just spent time trying to figure out what. She said it would be best because then people could just got in and mark things or whatever. Does anyone have any suggestions? Preferable to me being able to import/export easily from a calendar too.

Again, the most help would come in assisting me with my kids activities (if that makes a difference)
LotsAHelpingHands.

I’ll find a link.

Eta

I will take a good look at that, thank you!
 

Chadstroma

Footballguy
Second chemo round today. Only two hours and went well with no side effects. She has been doing well since the first treatment... even worked a few days. Some fatigue, some nausea, and the normal things. She has complained about cotton mouth and a metallic taste in her mouth. Her spirit is up and she is doing well.

For those who have never had someone close go through cancer treatment... you are suppose to be very careful about any body fluids. I basically have been kicked out of our master bathroom. But tonight, she used the bathroom and it overflowed for some reason (it really doesn't happen unless one of my kids ends up putting an entire roll of toilet paper or something like that). So, she has me take the bathroom rugs (no idea what they are really called) and put in the wash. Our bathroom happens to be right above where the washer and dryer are... make a long story short.... I got dripped on. Now that is normally gross being what it is but now I have to hope the chemo drugs were sufficiently diluted as well. Great.

Normally she would be in the kitchen right now... cooking up a storm getting ready for tomorrow. She may do some cooking tomorrow if she feels up to it. She may just sit and tell my daughter what to do.

Counting our blessings... it can certainly be worse.
Getting a drip on you isn’t ideal, but as long as you washed the affected area thoroughly with soap and water as quickly as possible it shouldn’t be an issue.
ETA: It would be worth asking the nurses at the infusion center if you could have a few pairs of chemo-rated gloves to take home for a just in case scenario like this. They won’t care. We burn through hundreds/day.
They previously said just wear gloves... which I did but I didn't account for more drips from above.

Good idea on asking for a few of those.
 

IrishTwinkie

Footballguy
Trying to coordinate help from three primary people that will assist with mostly things like pick up/drop off for kids activities and other assistance needed.
I was going to just do my own calendar and then ask for help in a group text when needed help. My sister in law, one of those helping, said to do Google Pages or something (I dont know what or how) and just spent time trying to figure out what. She said it would be best because then people could just got in and mark things or whatever. Does anyone have any suggestions? Preferable to me being able to import/export easily from a calendar too.

Again, the most help would come in assisting me with my kids activities (if that makes a difference)
LotsAHelpingHands.

I’ll find a link.

Eta

I will take a good look at that, thank you!
I've used it twice. Once as a user for another friend fighting throat cancer. He needed daily helps. Meals/rides/etc. And then as the guy trying to organize helps for my wife. I worked well for me both times.

I liked using the announcements to let peeps know what was going on. I felt it helped reduce the well meaning inquiries. After awhile, it becomes a chore to repeat the same stuff over and over. I feel like a bit a heal when I say that. The folks were asking out of true care and concern. It just becomes overwhelming. There was one pair of us and large of number of incoming requests/messages.

Good luck. This is a rough phase. Take it as it comes.
 

Chadstroma

Footballguy
Trying to coordinate help from three primary people that will assist with mostly things like pick up/drop off for kids activities and other assistance needed.
I was going to just do my own calendar and then ask for help in a group text when needed help. My sister in law, one of those helping, said to do Google Pages or something (I dont know what or how) and just spent time trying to figure out what. She said it would be best because then people could just got in and mark things or whatever. Does anyone have any suggestions? Preferable to me being able to import/export easily from a calendar too.

Again, the most help would come in assisting me with my kids activities (if that makes a difference)
LotsAHelpingHands.

I’ll find a link.

Eta

I will take a good look at that, thank you!
I've used it twice. Once as a user for another friend fighting throat cancer. He needed daily helps. Meals/rides/etc. And then as the guy trying to organize helps for my wife. I worked well for me both times.

I liked using the announcements to let peeps know what was going on. I felt it helped reduce the well meaning inquiries. After awhile, it becomes a chore to repeat the same stuff over and over. I feel like a bit a heal when I say that. The folks were asking out of true care and concern. It just becomes overwhelming. There was one pair of us and large of number of incoming requests/messages.

Good luck. This is a rough phase. Take it as it comes.
I am lucky enough to be free to handle her appointments. In a mixed blessing/curse, my loan pipeline is pretty lean... leaves plenty of time but financially not a great time to not be bringing in income.

I think the kids school/church is adding us to the meal tree. So that will be helpful. I suck at cooking and eating out a lot of expensive on a budget in the red already.

The biggest thing is the kids. It was a lot to manage all the kids activities and stuff with my wife at 100%. This week was easy but really need to buckle that help down.

Yea, it can be draining to discuss it. It is wierd... talking about it can be cathartic (like here) and then it also can be an emotional/mental vampire. No idea why the difference but it has been a striking realization to me.
 

culdeus

Have good
Hey Chad just saw this on today. So thankful for the help and advice over the years. So sorry you are going thru this. If you ever need anything let me know.

I can always help you out figuring out how to max out credit card rewards for a trip to take. A really good one.
 

Mrs. Rannous

Footballguy
Yea, it can be draining to discuss it. It is wierd... talking about it can be cathartic (like here) and then it also can be an emotional/mental vampire. No idea why the difference but it has been a striking realization to me.
If you have someone you trust, you could designate them to do the updates. A clearing house for this stuff can make things much easier.
 

IrishTwinkie

Footballguy
Yea, it can be draining to discuss it. It is wierd... talking about it can be cathartic (like here) and then it also can be an emotional/mental vampire. No idea why the difference but it has been a striking realization to me.

My guess: The forum is easier to turn off/ignore. It doesn't text when you are tired and worn out. It doesn't run into at the store when you are just trying to get in/out. It doesn't see you at the restaurant when you are trying to regain a sense of normal and trying to forget for a bit.

Even now, 9 months after we moved from the active to passive treatment phase, when I see people this can be the first thing they bring up. Again, they are being kind and caring. They just don't see that the same question has been asked/answered a bazillion times already and we might be ready to move on. I feel guilty when these thoughts intrude, but they are there never the less.
 

Chadstroma

Footballguy
Hey Chad just saw this on today. So thankful for the help and advice over the years. So sorry you are going thru this. If you ever need anything let me know.

I can always help you out figuring out how to max out credit card rewards for a trip to take. A really good one.
A trip you say?
 

culdeus

Have good
Hey Chad just saw this on today. So thankful for the help and advice over the years. So sorry you are going thru this. If you ever need anything let me know.

I can always help you out figuring out how to max out credit card rewards for a trip to take. A really good one.
A trip you say?
I apologize I have not read the entire thread. If that is not an option now it was an oversight. The offer stands now and forever.
 

Chadstroma

Footballguy
Hey Chad just saw this on today. So thankful for the help and advice over the years. So sorry you are going thru this. If you ever need anything let me know.

I can always help you out figuring out how to max out credit card rewards for a trip to take. A really good one.
A trip you say?
I apologize I have not read the entire thread. If that is not an option now it was an oversight. The offer stands now and forever.
No, I am all for it.
 

Chadstroma

Footballguy
The third treatment was yesterday. Symptoms seem to be getting stronger and accumulating but I would say that she is still doing well.

Her sister came out from AZ for a few days to help out which was a nice jester... they butt heads a lot normally... there was less head butting than normal as her sister was trying hard and my wife doesn't have a lot of energy.

The school set up a meal tree for us 3 nights a week. The really cool thing to me about that was the email went out last night, I was curious how it worked and clicked on it and it showed the calendar and people would sign up and show what they were going to bring or gift card etc. All of December and most of Jan was already full within about an hour of that email going out. That warmed my heart.

That email basically means that the whole school now knows that something is going on. We haven't kept it a secret but we also have not advertised it. She sent each of our kids teachers an email letting them know and asking to keep an eye on any emotional differences etc. That same day we had parent/teacher conferences that I went to. Each of them were very supportive and accommodating. They all suggested the school counselor with the kids which we were open to, especially with our middle child. The counselor had chatted with my middle son yesterday and we touched base on everything and I informed her of what has happened and our concerns. She is going to look to have conversations with him once a week or every other week as needed or how he is open to it. She is also touching base with our other kids to keep those doors open.

I asked yesterday if she told some close friends of ours that live out of town and a couple of her long time friends that we don't see overly often- she said no because she feels awkward talking about herself and doesn't want people to pity her.

I did tell my Mom the other day... which now means my entire side of my family knows..... within about an hour after getting off the phone with her. Though she did ask if it was ok to tell others.

I set up the Lotsa app, thanks @IrishTwinkie and added our close friends (who picked up my daughter last night and dropped off a meal as well), my wife's sister and brother. It is work just to go through and figure how when and how I need help- lol. Things are getting busier as my daughter is in two volleyball teams, her school and a club team and my son is in club swim and school basketball (which I am coaching). Games are starting for all of those. My approach with the kids has been that my goal is to keep things as normal and undisrupted as possible with them while trying to take the burden off my wife. In talking to the school counselor, she was supportive of that approach.

I am feeling good about her treatment and prognosis. My concern has shifted more now to the financial side. Expenses are mounting and my income has plummeted (for those who do not know, I am a mortgage broker). Market conditions are tougher but I haven't been able to spend much time trying to go out and get business. That is my big burden right now. So... if anyone knows of anyone that needs help with a mortgage.... let me know, happy to help! lol

That is pretty much it I think for now. Thank you for reading my verbal throw up for now.
 

IrishTwinkie

Footballguy
I glad to hear you are getting the help. It was an absolutely humbling experience for me. We totally needed the help, I was so grateful for it. But I’m used to being the guy who does the helping, not the other way around. Gotta say, there were times it was dusty.

The chemo and radiation side effects do stack.

I think y’all are handling it the best that you can. Keep it going.
 

Chadstroma

Footballguy
We had a doctors appointment today. After the Doctor got finished feeling my wife up (sorry, still weird to me watching a guy with his hands all over my wife's bare breasts even though I know it is not sexual and I completely am comfortable with the Doctor etc.... still is weird) the good news is that he was saying that he was having difficulty locating the tumors (either that or that was the excuse to keep feeling my wife up :lmao: ) so the tumors have shrunk!!!! I was not even really prepared for that. I didn't think the meds would work that fast but they apparently have and there is no way around it- smaller tumors is a good thing! So, I am very happy about that today. :clap:

I needed that. I am worn down already from the mental/emotional luggage plus the running my kids all around the world etc. The good thing is that the meal tree from the school started last night. Wow. I mean, they sure as heck made sure we had enough food for the night PLUS. Plus, a couple of gift cards and even some cash. I also went into the site where people signed up and the meals were full but then there was a ton of people that were sending food or gift cards etc through the site. I mean, like one is a 'soup package' or something like that... I was like 'that is interesting, what is that?" I looked and is soup for 2 people for 7 days and cost like $150 or something like that. Some of the people I knew or knew the family but some, I didn't recognize at all. I seriously broke down in tears touched by all of that.

On the negative side of things... I just went in and paid some bills and my cash reserves are now gone. Things have slowed lending wise in general obviously but I have done very little to try to generate new production the last few months so my pipeline is non-existent right now. I am quite a bit motivated now though even if my time is more limited than usual. It will work out. At least rates stabilized.

So, overall, very good news and a happy day today!
 

Mrs. Rannous

Footballguy
After the Doctor got finished feeling my wife up (sorry, still weird to me watching a guy with his hands all over my wife's bare breasts even though I know it is not sexual and I completely am comfortable with the Doctor etc.... still is weird)
Trust me, it's weird from the this side, too. The person doing the mammogram is usually a woman, but it's weird having someone move a body part like that. Oddly, I don't even notice when my regular GP does it.

That's awesome news about the tumors, by the way!
 

Chadstroma

Footballguy
After the Doctor got finished feeling my wife up (sorry, still weird to me watching a guy with his hands all over my wife's bare breasts even though I know it is not sexual and I completely am comfortable with the Doctor etc.... still is weird)

Trust me, it's weird from the this side, too. The person doing the mammogram is usually a woman, but it's weird having someone move a body part like that. Oddly, I don't even notice when my regular GP does it.



That's awesome news about the tumors, by the way!
I have never seen a mammogram but the Doctors examination is fully hands on and feeling all over.... like a 14 year old with his first time touching bare boobs. :lmao:

Yea, super awesome for him to say that. It wasn't as much of a surprise to my wife because she said she felt like it was smaller (never mentioned that to me) so it was a super awesome good surprising news for me.
 

Chadstroma

Footballguy
Hope she feels better soon.
She has rebounded pretty well today. More like previous treatments.
Also, she got her hair done Sunday. Cut it very short, shorter than it has ever been since I have been with her, since the shorter hair is supposed to help keep from hair loss. It looks good. The nurse yesterday remarked that she looked unusually good for how long she has been doing treatment.
 
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