fatguyinalittlecoat
Footballguy
How are the kids handling things?
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Wife uses sex as a weapon (1 Viewer)
- Thread starter Patrick Bateman
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Bogart
Footballguy
They are good right now. My wife's SIL came in on Friday night, spent the night, and completely spoiled my kids. Lego sets, Build-A-Bear, the works. My wife took the kids to the State Fair yesterday. It will be once a routine is set that we will see how they do. The hardest part will be a new morning routine where my wife won't have help getting my kids ready for school and my daughter's nighttime routine where I would rock with her and read stories before she would fall asleep.
Sabertooth
Footballguy
Keep your chin up Bogart. I have a feeling you are in for some emotional roller coaster type of stuff for a while here.I guess a Final Update:Not much left to say. I left work early on Friday, got to the house and started packing up my stuff. I only took my clothes, personal hygiene stuff, beer and my computer. Things I am leaving behind for now are CDs, movies, books, my liquor cabinet and my golf clubs. Once I get my place, I will come back and get those. Everything else I am leaving behind for my kids. I have told my wife on any downsizing she does, let me know and if I need anything I will take it.About an hour into packing my stuff, my wife shows up by herself. We had a very good conversation, talking about plans, how we are going to split some stuff up, things we need to do for the kids. At one point she says, "I know I'm not good at this wife thing, but I can still be a kick ### mom." I told her I wanted her happy, needed her happy, so she could be that kick ### mom. We had some laughs, some inside jokes, some tears (more her than me, in fact she hates that I never cry and said "If you ever wanted to squeeze out a tear, now would be a good time). It was a true moment. Any other place and time it would have probably ended up with the sechs. Ironic, I know. We talked about how we are stuck together, no reason we can't be nice about this and help each other. She said her first ex-husband was very bad to her, and she didn't hate him, so there was no reason to hate me as I had never been bad to her at all. I finished packing up and headed out, texting her so she knew it was cool to bring the kids home. I saw the family 24 hours later at my son's baseball game where he played, I coached and my wife and daughter watched. Afterwards we went and got some dinner as a family and then went our seperate ways. It was nice. We will see each other on Monday for scouts and I will pick up my son for baseball practice on Thursday. A nice slow transition.Like I said, not much more to say. Still the actual divorce to happen and me getting a place, pretty boring stuff. I don't see any value (entertainment or otherwise) in posting about that.Thanks to all for the comments, well wishes, jokes, etc. This thread really helped me work through this whole situation.
Godsbrother
Footballguy
Good Luck, Bogart. Hopefully you and the soon-to-be-ex can remain on good terms.
Zegras11
Footballguy
Almost six months ago to the day.Glad to know you'll be in an even better place six months from now. GL GB.
MikeIke
Footballguy
Wow, that's a whole lot of change in just 6 months. Good luck to you, Bogart. It sounds like you've made the right decision and I'm sure you'll be a happier man in the future.
Rick James
Footballguy
How's it going Bogart?
saintfool
Dead sexy
BustedKnuckles
Footballguy
Maybe you arent that good in the rack and shes repulsed by the idea of having sex with you. Maybe she`s been faking orgasms since back when you started dating .
If you`re good in bed you would be pushing her away , at her age shes just getting started sexually speaking. Something other than pills is causing the problem IMO.
If you`re good in bed you would be pushing her away , at her age shes just getting started sexually speaking. Something other than pills is causing the problem IMO.
who are you talking to?
Bogart
Footballguy
Divorce is final in 45 days, not that I'm counting. Kids are doing really good with the changes and things are looking up.
BustedKnuckles
Footballguy
I thought i was talking to the original poster, Bateman...i never looked at how old this thread was lmao...DOH...nevermind
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Buck Bradcanon
Footballguy
I dont know what it is, but Bogart is killing it in iMob II.
Bogart
Footballguy
It's an addiction, stay away. I hate these stupid iPhone games, but everytime a new one pops up with a new wrinkle, they suck me back in.
Buck Bradcanon
Footballguy
Stay hard, Bogart.
Marvin
Footballguy
The giant Conan tattoo on his back?
BustedKnuckles
Footballguy
that and all my other tats
Sabertooth
Footballguy
Have you nailed her at all since the papers were served?
Bogart
Footballguy
No. And it's not going to happen. Not even as much as a hug, handshake or high five since October. The waters are choppy enough as we navigate through getting the divorce done, really don't need to muddy them up even more.
Bogart
Footballguy
Well it took 7 months as opposed to 6, but the divorce was final today. No more lawyers, no more courts, all done. She didn't even go to court. The call that I had with her to let her know it was done lasted all of 30 seconds.Thanks to all that gave support. Time to enjoy life on the other side of the fence.
Zegras11
Footballguy
Well it took 7 months as opposed to 6, but the divorce was final today. No more lawyers, no more courts, all done. She didn't even go to court. The call that I had with her to let her know it was done lasted all of 30 seconds.Thanks to all that gave support. Time to enjoy life on the other side of the fence.
culdeus
Footballguy
If you don't mind how did the custsody thing workout?Well it took 7 months as opposed to 6, but the divorce was final today. No more lawyers, no more courts, all done. She didn't even go to court. The call that I had with her to let her know it was done lasted all of 30 seconds.Thanks to all that gave support. Time to enjoy life on the other side of the fence.
Bogart
Footballguy
Every other weekend and every Wednesday for dinner. One month in the summer, that actually starts this Friday. Typical holiday schedule.Actually settled on child support that was more than the max required by the state, plus half of the kids health costs.Unrelated to custody, my ex-wife already has a new boyfriend, who I met when picking up the kids this weekend. He is 15 years older than her, 19 years older than I am, and dresses like my Dad. Good luck to this guy. Part of me wants to spill the beans, but I will let him figure everything out on his own.If you don't mind how did the custsody thing workout?Well it took 7 months as opposed to 6, but the divorce was final today. No more lawyers, no more courts, all done. She didn't even go to court. The call that I had with her to let her know it was done lasted all of 30 seconds.Thanks to all that gave support. Time to enjoy life on the other side of the fence.
skillz
Footballguy
Same thing happened to me. Ex immediately went out dating. I kept saying to myself "that poor sap has no idea what he's getting himself into." Figured I'd let him figure out the problems on his own - I had to so why not him? Plus I didn't want the ex thinking I was sabotaging her relationships - she can do that very well on her own. She went through about 3 boyfriends before settling on a guy she's going to get married to. She is still the same person as when I divorced her five years ago so that guy is in for a world of hurt. He's good to my son though so I hope it works out since she could be with someone much worse.Every other weekend and every Wednesday for dinner. One month in the summer, that actually starts this Friday. Typical holiday schedule.Actually settled on child support that was more than the max required by the state, plus half of the kids health costs.If you don't mind how did the custsody thing workout?Well it took 7 months as opposed to 6, but the divorce was final today. No more lawyers, no more courts, all done. She didn't even go to court. The call that I had with her to let her know it was done lasted all of 30 seconds.Thanks to all that gave support. Time to enjoy life on the other side of the fence.
Unrelated to custody, my ex-wife already has a new boyfriend, who I met when picking up the kids this weekend. He is 15 years older than her, 19 years older than I am, and dresses like my Dad. Good luck to this guy. Part of me wants to spill the beans, but I will let him figure everything out on his own.
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Dr. Awesome
Footballguy
Congratulations man.
And kudos for keeping your mouth shut to her new flame. I don't know I would have been able to take the high road like that.
culdeus
Footballguy
Maybe his stuff doesn't work anymore?Every other weekend and every Wednesday for dinner. One month in the summer, that actually starts this Friday. Typical holiday schedule.Actually settled on child support that was more than the max required by the state, plus half of the kids health costs.Unrelated to custody, my ex-wife already has a new boyfriend, who I met when picking up the kids this weekend. He is 15 years older than her, 19 years older than I am, and dresses like my Dad. Good luck to this guy. Part of me wants to spill the beans, but I will let him figure everything out on his own.If you don't mind how did the custsody thing workout?Well it took 7 months as opposed to 6, but the divorce was final today. No more lawyers, no more courts, all done. She didn't even go to court. The call that I had with her to let her know it was done lasted all of 30 seconds.Thanks to all that gave support. Time to enjoy life on the other side of the fence.
Bogart
Footballguy
Nope. Wanted to have everything finished first. Probably not necessary, but it is what happened.Ready to jump in with both feet now.
Ray Karpis
Footballguy
Send a PM to No. 16. He can help you out here.
JFT Ben
Footballguy
Thanks for the update. This was an epic thread and one I think some of us learned a lot from (and kept learning). Thanks for putting it out there and hopefully better days are ahead! For me personally, after incorporating some of the stuff I learned here my marriage has never been better... we're in a really good spot right now... laid like tile or whatever Athol's corny saying is.
Bogart
Footballguy
I can't help but think that this isn't sitting in the back of my ex-wife's mind. A guy at 55 versus a guy at 37 might be more her speed.
NJDawgPound
Footballguy
This is a very valuable thread. Thanks to all who shared their personal experiences.
I'm happily married and the stuff I've read in here will help me keep it that way and identify any warning signs on either side of things. And things can go south as we are dealing with the stresses of two plus years of attempted baby making with no results.
Bogart: Good luck.
I'm happily married and the stuff I've read in here will help me keep it that way and identify any warning signs on either side of things. And things can go south as we are dealing with the stresses of two plus years of attempted baby making with no results.
Bogart: Good luck.
gianmarco
Footballguy
NajehHejan
Footballguy
My brother-in-law (wife’s brother) recently confided in me over way too many beers that he and his wife have not had the sechs in 3.5 years. I let him vent, but was unable to offer any advice at all, as I was utterly shocked and had no idea what to say. They have a sweet son who is 6 years old and is special needs. They seem relatively happy, and he is madly in love with her. They have had struggles with money in the past but I think they’re ok now (living paycheck to paycheck, but not dire). Their primary focus is rightfully their son but I feel bad for him being deprived the sechs. He told me he read that this is common when kids are young but that he read that when the kids turn 10 or 11, that the sechs comes back. He was very excited about this even though it’s 4-5 years away, and it made me feel even worse for him. I don’t plan on bringing this back up with him ever again, but if he mentions it again, I guess I just have to keep mum, and try to lend my support without getting involved. He’s a super guy and I feel so bad for him.
Godsbrother
Footballguy
I could not imagine talking to one of my wife's brothers about our sex life.
Wrighteous Ray
Footballguy
As far as we know, NajehHejan didn't talk about his own sex life. I agree it would be creepy if he had said to the BIL "yeah, i never have that problem with your sister -- she's good to go all the time and she does all sorts of crazy kinky stuff."
NajehHejan
Footballguy
It was a complete one way street. I never talked about my sex life with his sister. He had been bottling it up inside and needed someone to talk to.
Sabertooth
Footballguy
The guy is a chump, no offense intended. But his wife is withholding sex like that for a reason. He doesn't turn her on. Only he can fix that. But if he's tried everything he can do, why not bolt? You only have a certain amount of healthy years for sex. Giving up 8 or them for one chick who may or may not be into him is insane, special needs child or not. If she loved him as "madly" as he loves her, she'd be screwing him regularly.
MikeIke
Footballguy
Um, no, it's not common for the sex to turn completely off when a kid is born. Certainly for a couple months, as she heals from childbirth, and probably it'll be slow going for another few months after that. But 3+ years? No way, no how. There's GOT to be more going on that he didn't tell you.
Worm
slimy ninja
Unacceptable under any circumstances, with the exception of debilitating illness.
belljr
Footballguy
in. Sure. Things to change but this is ridiculous
shadyridr
Footballguy
well that wasnt the scenario discussed above
Agreed. Not normal at all. I have 3 boys 10 and under and I get cranky if we make it past a week. We have had good spells and bad spells, but outside of time delays after the 3 births, going more than a couple weeks felt like agony. The good spells are nice when you can get 3-4 times in on a weekend! Not bad for an "old" guy. 3.5 years and I would either have 1) had to lose my balls in a tragic golf accident, 2) been dead for 3.4 years or 3) killed my wife 3.4 years ago and kept telling everyone that she is shopping.That said, I think I am at that age where I am seeing a lot of marriages fall apart and sex is usually just a part of it, but you sure don't hear about marriages falling apart due to too much sex. Honestly, based on the stories at the big party yesterday, seems like way more than half the marriages are on the rocks and some in a major league way. If you are 40ish with kids, fairly happy and getting some regularly, enjoy it and make sure you are good to your wife. It seems to be a lot more rare with our friends than when we were newly married late 20s/30ish.
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LongDuckDong
Footballguy
Sorry to bump this thread - but I'm curious how many FBG who were married during this megathread ended up divorced.
<Raises Hand>
I wont say this thread was a cause or whatever, but seeing other people suffering was inspiration for me to try and better my life. Can't say every day is perfect, my kids have struggled, and some days are better than others but it was the right decision for me and well, I guess thats the only reason I bumped this. There was a lot of stuff in here that hit quite home to me.
<Raises Hand>
I wont say this thread was a cause or whatever, but seeing other people suffering was inspiration for me to try and better my life. Can't say every day is perfect, my kids have struggled, and some days are better than others but it was the right decision for me and well, I guess thats the only reason I bumped this. There was a lot of stuff in here that hit quite home to me.
T Bell
Footballguy
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