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Wife uses sex as a weapon (1 Viewer)
- Thread starter Patrick Bateman
- Start date
Thorn
Footballguy
Just re-reading the thread - so they met sometime in the spring of 2011 (while she was still married), and then they married 11/7/13? And this is her 3rd marriage? Does this sucker have no guy friends?
culdeus
Footballguy
Wow, she didn't waste any time did she? Since so much time has passed have you ever thought about going to husband 1 and swapping war stories?
good friday bump.
Bogart
Footballguy
For the new husband, it probably looked like the perfect situation. He is 15 years older than her, divorced with no kids and single for 9 years. He gets a wife and two kids to enjoy his twilight years. And they seem happy. At 57, maybe he doesn't like sex anymore. Or money.
And to her credit, she has grown up a bit since our divorce, so maybe she's doing the right things by him. I don't ask, I don't care.
I hadn't really thought about it. Until now. I think he was a hotel doorman last time I heard at the airport. Might be worth a drive.
Rick James
Footballguy
I remember this thread. It was the first time I hard of Athol Kay's book ("Married Man Sex Life Primer"), which has had a really awesome effect on my marriage.
Spike
Footballguy
FUBAR
Footballguy
To be blunt, ####ty. Sex life is dead. Has been for months. She says she's getting her period every three weeks lately, it's heavy and lasts a week. Then she's been getting yeast infections right after. That lasts a week. So she's not exactly interested. Dry going on 5 months now. If it weren't for the kids and other things being okay, I'd be looking to divorce. Instead trying to get get into counseling. We were doing great up to the summer, but lately our marriage is a platonic friendship with kids and no benefits.
Sabertooth
Footballguy
How often do you try to initiate sex? Daily? Weekly? Whenever you think she might be willing?
FUBAR
Footballguy
Lately I've given up on it, she's usually falling asleep shortly after the kids go to sleep. Plus when you know the answer is no, why try?
Hope the girl you find on the side treats you nicely. They usually do, that's why you fall for them. And yes, if she finds out, it will be all your fault. The woman is never (in her mind) even partially to blame.
FUBAR
Footballguy
Straying isn't an option to me. We either fix this, divorce or I get carpal tunnel syndrome.
I said the same thing for years. I ended up divorced. You get one shot at this life. Spending it miserable is beyond stupid.
FUBAR
Footballguy
That's kind of the thing though. Sexually frustrated, but not overall miserable. We just need to fix this.
culdeus
Footballguy
Someone probably 15 pages back suggested a gyno procedure where they go in and laser out the inside of the hoohah to prevent some of the issues you are seeing medically. Just an FYI.
Sabertooth
Footballguy
James Daulton
Footballguy
How old are you guys?
Guys think because they have kids and go to work that they can expect sex, no, that isn't how it works. You still need to make your wife horny, which isn't hard to do if most of you weren't so lazy about it. Nothing is more unattractive than an aging out of shape male EXPECTING it.
Guys think because they have kids and go to work that they can expect sex?
Having kids is about the antithesis of "expecting sex." If anything, what percentage of men out there would say that their sex life shot right down the tubes into the toilet after having kids? Having a full-time job, after you get home from a full-time job, then that second full-time job costing you tens of thousands (not helping your bottom line) and dozens upon dozens of hours of sleep? And any human male on the planet would expect/assume that their wife will rip off her clothes and beg you to have your way with her as a direct result?
Though I will say, however, that women have to put in some type of effort too. Gaining 30-40+ pounds, never even smiling at you nicely or flirting with you, throwing you under the bus whenever you're around the in-laws...and you'e supposed to want to get within ten feet of her?
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No one has kids and says to themselves "we will probably rarely have sex now." It only happens because as you get older, and do more for her you expect it, and resent it as if she doesn't love you(and how dare she not love you after all you've done for her) when she doesn't put outGuys think because they have kids and go to work that they can expect sex?
Having kids is about the antithesis of "expecting sex." If anything, what percentage of men out there would say that their sex life shot right down the tubes into the toilet after having kids? Having a full-time job, after you get home from a full-time job, then that second full-time job costing you tens of thousands (not helping your bottom line) and dozens upon dozens of hours of sleep? And any human male on the planet would expect/assume that their wife will rip off her clothes and beg you to have your way with her as a direct result?
Though I will say, however, that women have to put in some type of effort too. Gaining 30-40+ pounds, never even smiling at you nicely or flirting with you, throwing you under the bus whenever you're around the in-laws...and you'e supposed to want to get within ten feet of her?
Hey, be nicer to your wife and she wont throw you under the bus. Get her respect and love back, put effort into having her think about you the way you did when you first started dated and you'll see things will go along much more smoothly.
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AAABatteries
Footballguy
Wrong. You don't get older and "expect it" because you "do more for her." If anything, she's doing three-times more for you, being a mother to your children, and you (not johnjohn, just in-general) probably don't let her know how much you notice and appreciate her Herculean effort.No one has kids and says to themselves "we will probably rarely have sex now." It only happens because as you get older, and do more for her you expect it, and resent it as if she doesn't love you(and how dare she not love you after all you've done for her) when she doesn't put outGuys think because they have kids and go to work that they can expect sex?
Having kids is about the antithesis of "expecting sex." If anything, what percentage of men out there would say that their sex life shot right down the tubes into the toilet after having kids? Having a full-time job, after you get home from a full-time job, then that second full-time job costing you tens of thousands (not helping your bottom line) and dozens upon dozens of hours of sleep? And any human male on the planet would expect/assume that their wife will rip off her clothes and beg you to have your way with her as a direct result?
Though I will say, however, that women have to put in some type of effort too. Gaining 30-40+ pounds, never even smiling at you nicely or flirting with you, throwing you under the bus whenever you're around the in-laws...and you'e supposed to want to get within ten feet of her?
Hey, be nicer to your wife and she wont throw you under the bus. Get her respect and love back, put effort into having her think about you the way you did when you first started dated and you'll see things will go along much more smoothly.
And you don't resent "her not loving you." You resent going from being her best friend, the person who she wants to share everything with, to a "bank account," errand-runner, and maybe #3, #4, or #5 on her priority list. And anyone who's been a father more than a year or two understands that you don't "expect it." Ever. You miss it. You miss the two of you, the couple, before everything changed. But only the foolishly optimist would ever expect much more than a "Honey Do" list from their wife once there are other human beings for her to completely build her life and priorities around.
stop being lazy and uninteresting / boring, excite her again. Take blameWrong. You don't get older and "expect it" because you "do more for her." If anything, she's doing three-times more for you, being a mother to your children, and you (not johnjohn, just in-general) probably don't let her know how much you notice and appreciate her Herculean effort.No one has kids and says to themselves "we will probably rarely have sex now." It only happens because as you get older, and do more for her you expect it, and resent it as if she doesn't love you(and how dare she not love you after all you've done for her) when she doesn't put outGuys think because they have kids and go to work that they can expect sex?
Having kids is about the antithesis of "expecting sex." If anything, what percentage of men out there would say that their sex life shot right down the tubes into the toilet after having kids? Having a full-time job, after you get home from a full-time job, then that second full-time job costing you tens of thousands (not helping your bottom line) and dozens upon dozens of hours of sleep? And any human male on the planet would expect/assume that their wife will rip off her clothes and beg you to have your way with her as a direct result?
Though I will say, however, that women have to put in some type of effort too. Gaining 30-40+ pounds, never even smiling at you nicely or flirting with you, throwing you under the bus whenever you're around the in-laws...and you'e supposed to want to get within ten feet of her?
Hey, be nicer to your wife and she wont throw you under the bus. Get her respect and love back, put effort into having her think about you the way you did when you first started dated and you'll see things will go along much more smoothly.
And you don't resent "her not loving you." You resent going from being her best friend, the person who she wants to share everything with, to a "bank account," errand-runner, and maybe #3, #4, or #5 on her priority list. And anyone who's been a father more than a year or two understands that you don't "expect it." Ever. You miss it. You miss the two of you, the couple, before everything changed. But only the foolishly optimist would ever expect much more than a "Honey Do" list from their wife once there are other human beings for her to completely build her life and priorities around.
ENERGIZE HER
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start thinking of things that will excite her, stop making every day a blur of routines, if you don't she is going to have an affair just to add life into her life.
you've been warned, if you aren't man enough to own up to that then its your fault she cheated
you've been warned, if you aren't man enough to own up to that then its your fault she cheated
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FUBAR
Footballguy
Reading comprehension, johnjohn. Really helps when you're trying to have a conversation with people. 
All I've said is that it's laughable to say that "guys expect it," as the result of having kids or going out to work every day (when odds are for most of us, like me, our wives are going out to work every day too). Seriously, are there actually men out there who EXPECT their wives to just lie in bed and spread their legs because they had a hard day slaying the dragons at work? When most of those same women did the same... *and* came home to a disproportionally large share of the childcare and housework?
I mean, maybe some 20-something man-child thinks that way. Or possibly someone who has killed over half their brain cells with alcohol or ??? over the years. But your average husband? You need better material.
All I've said is that it's laughable to say that "guys expect it," as the result of having kids or going out to work every day (when odds are for most of us, like me, our wives are going out to work every day too). Seriously, are there actually men out there who EXPECT their wives to just lie in bed and spread their legs because they had a hard day slaying the dragons at work? When most of those same women did the same... *and* came home to a disproportionally large share of the childcare and housework?
I mean, maybe some 20-something man-child thinks that way. Or possibly someone who has killed over half their brain cells with alcohol or ??? over the years. But your average husband? You need better material.
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AAABatteries
Footballguy
When a person starts their counter point with an insult you know they know you're rightReading comprehension, johnjohn. Really helps when you're trying to have a conversation with people.
All I've said is that it's laughable to say that "guys expect it," as the result of having kids or going out to work every day (when odds are for most of us, like me, our wives are going out to work every day too). Seriously, are there actually men out there who EXPECT their wives to just lie in bed and spread their legs because they had a hard day slaying the dragons at work? When most of those same women did the same... *and* came home to a dis proportionally large share of the childcare and housework?
I mean, maybe some 20-something man-child thinks that way. Or possibly someone who has killed over half their brain cells with alcohol or ??? over the years. But your average husband? You need better material.
FUBAR
Footballguy
Who you calling fat, son?
As is she, you just aren't man enough to make her want sex, whether you spend money or not, thats the issue. Maybe she wouldnt feel the need to buy things so much if you were making her life fun rather than boring
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Correct (your response in post 1686). But I thought I'd take you under my wing and try and help you.When a person starts their counter point with an insult you know they know you're rightReading comprehension, johnjohn. Really helps when you're trying to have a conversation with people.
All I've said is that it's laughable to say that "guys expect it," as the result of having kids or going out to work every day (when odds are for most of us, like me, our wives are going out to work every day too). Seriously, are there actually men out there who EXPECT their wives to just lie in bed and spread their legs because they had a hard day slaying the dragons at work? When most of those same women did the same... *and* came home to a dis proportionally large share of the childcare and housework?
I mean, maybe some 20-something man-child thinks that way. Or possibly someone who has killed over half their brain cells with alcohol or ??? over the years. But your average husband? You need better material.
datonn on average are you wrong ten times a week or twenty times when it comes to issues between you and your wife? I am the one trying to help you out here, trying to help you get laid my manCorrect (your response in post 1686). But I thought I'd take you under my wing and try and help you.When a person starts their counter point with an insult you know they know you're rightReading comprehension, johnjohn. Really helps when you're trying to have a conversation with people.
All I've said is that it's laughable to say that "guys expect it," as the result of having kids or going out to work every day (when odds are for most of us, like me, our wives are going out to work every day too). Seriously, are there actually men out there who EXPECT their wives to just lie in bed and spread their legs because they had a hard day slaying the dragons at work? When most of those same women did the same... *and* came home to a dis proportionally large share of the childcare and housework?
I mean, maybe some 20-something man-child thinks that way. Or possibly someone who has killed over half their brain cells with alcohol or ??? over the years. But your average husband? You need better material.
AAABatteries
Footballguy
johnjohn...care to share a little personal information/experience here? You married? And if you are, how long (or how many times)? How many children, and how old? Walk a little of your talk, por favor...or otherwise, you'll just be written off as a <100 posts bit/troll.datonn on average are you wrong ten times a week or twenty times when it comes to issues between you and your wife? I am the one trying to help you out here, trying to help you get laid my manCorrect (your response in post 1686). But I thought I'd take you under my wing and try and help you.When a person starts their counter point with an insult you know they know you're rightReading comprehension, johnjohn. Really helps when you're trying to have a conversation with people.
All I've said is that it's laughable to say that "guys expect it," as the result of having kids or going out to work every day (when odds are for most of us, like me, our wives are going out to work every day too). Seriously, are there actually men out there who EXPECT their wives to just lie in bed and spread their legs because they had a hard day slaying the dragons at work? When most of those same women did the same... *and* came home to a dis proportionally large share of the childcare and housework?
I mean, maybe some 20-something man-child thinks that way. Or possibly someone who has killed over half their brain cells with alcohol or ??? over the years. But your average husband? You need better material.
It's not about "getting laid." Again, I was just pointing out how laughable it is that you imply that most/all guys "expect sex" for going out to work and/or having kids. Seriously, what Neanderthals in the FFA think that way?
“Above all, don't lie to yourself. The man who lies to himself and listens to his own lie comes to a point that he cannot distinguish the truth within him, or around him, and so loses all respect for himself and for others. And having no respect he ceases to love.” Fyodor Dostoyevskyjohnjohn...care to share a little personal information/experience here? You married? And if you are, how long (or how many times)? How many children, and how old? Walk a little of your talk, por favor...or otherwise, you'll just be written off as a <100 posts bit/troll.datonn on average are you wrong ten times a week or twenty times when it comes to issues between you and your wife? I am the one trying to help you out here, trying to help you get laid my manCorrect (your response in post 1686). But I thought I'd take you under my wing and try and help you.When a person starts their counter point with an insult you know they know you're rightReading comprehension, johnjohn. Really helps when you're trying to have a conversation with people.
All I've said is that it's laughable to say that "guys expect it," as the result of having kids or going out to work every day (when odds are for most of us, like me, our wives are going out to work every day too). Seriously, are there actually men out there who EXPECT their wives to just lie in bed and spread their legs because they had a hard day slaying the dragons at work? When most of those same women did the same... *and* came home to a dis proportionally large share of the childcare and housework?
I mean, maybe some 20-something man-child thinks that way. Or possibly someone who has killed over half their brain cells with alcohol or ??? over the years. But your average husband? You need better material.
It's not about "getting laid." Again, I was just pointing out how laughable it is that you imply that most/all guys "expect sex" for going out to work and/or having kids. Seriously, what Neanderthals in the FFA think that way?
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Frostillicus
Footballguy
Ouch. This should not be.datonn said:
AAABatteries
Footballguy
Sounds like too much work.johnjohn said:
Chadstroma
Footballguy
I wish my wife used it as a weapon. That would mean that she would actually use it.
Rick James
Footballguy
Datonn, wtf is your point? You latched onto a minor line in johnjohn's post and won't let it go.
Rick James
Footballguy
Just read this. Man. Everything ok over in the datonn home?datonn said:Wrong. You don't get older and "expect it" because you "do more for her." If anything, she's doing three-times more for you, being a mother to your children, and you (not johnjohn, just in-general) probably don't let her know how much you notice and appreciate her Herculean effort.johnjohn said:No one has kids and says to themselves "we will probably rarely have sex now." It only happens because as you get older, and do more for her you expect it, and resent it as if she doesn't love you(and how dare she not love you after all you've done for her) when she doesn't put outdatonn said:Guys think because they have kids and go to work that they can expect sex?johnjohn said:
Though I will say, however, that women have to put in some type of effort too. Gaining 30-40+ pounds, never even smiling at you nicely or flirting with you, throwing you under the bus whenever you're around the in-laws...and you'e supposed to want to get within ten feet of her?
Hey, be nicer to your wife and she wont throw you under the bus. Get her respect and love back, put effort into having her think about you the way you did when you first started dated and you'll see things will go along much more smoothly.
And you don't resent "her not loving you." You resent going from being her best friend, the person who she wants to share everything with, to a "bank account," errand-runner, and maybe #3, #4, or #5 on her priority list. And anyone who's been a father more than a year or two understands that you don't "expect it." Ever. You miss it. You miss the two of you, the couple, before everything changed. But only the foolishly optimist would ever expect much more than a "Honey Do" list from their wife once there are other human beings for her to completely build her life and priorities around.
Frostillicus
Footballguy
Datonn don't assume your situation is normal.
pats3in4
Footballguy
There's some truth to this...some. Trying harder to meet their wives' emotional needs is something all husbands in a stagnant marriage should make an effort to do. That being said, husbands are not solely responsible for their wives' happiness. Women have to take charge of that. Women who sit around and blame others for their unhappiness have to wake up to this reality and own this. Where the line is drawn between husbands falling short in meeting emotional needs and wives co-dependent on others for happiness is blurred.
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