Wife uses sex as a weapon (1 Viewer)

[Funkley]

You're a good man Bogey and you'll be fine no matter how this works out.

 

[gianmarco]

I was rooting for you, Bogart, and hoping it worked out. Looks like it wasn't meant to be. Best of luck to you....

 

[Jojo the circus boy]

Update?

My decision has been made to file for divorce. I have set up free room and board for myself for 6 months or more to help with the transition. The goal will be to be in a place of my own before the holidays. All that is left is to sit down and have the talk with my wife. My son's birthday is today and his party was Saturday, and so I didn't want to ruin either of those days. Finding the time and place is all that is left now. I can leave with a bag of clothes just as soon as we are done, if that is her choice, and still be able to do the day to day (work, school, etc) without missing a beat.I thought it was ironic last week when we had a therapy session scheduled, and having made my decision was not super excited to go, but was ready. My wife asked to cancel at the last minute to "work on our son's birthday party." She had been off all week, but needed THIS hour to do further preparations for a party at our house.

I think you made the right decision, gl with the talk.

 

[Bogart]

Baseball cornhole?

Let me get out of the house. Details to follow. Besides it has to cool down a bit. 105 degrees for first pitch yesterday.

I thought it was ironic last week when we had a therapy session scheduled, and having made my decision was not super excited to go, but was ready. My wife asked to cancel at the last minute to "work on our son's birthday party." She had been off all week, but needed THIS hour to do further preparations for a party at our house.

Wow.

I didn't think much about it at the time, but as I let it sink in, it completely blew me away.

You're a good man Bogey and you'll be fine no matter how this works out.

Thanks GB. I keep telling myself I'm not the first to do this, won't be the last, and people come out on the other side much better.

I was rooting for you, Bogart, and hoping it worked out. Looks like it wasn't meant to be. Best of luck to you....

Thanks GB. My thought has been, I have to do this now or suck it up and be prepared to live like this for the next 16 years until my daughter finishes school. That is not an option. It's harder and harder to pretend things are OK so no sense dragging it out.

 

[iamsmilin]

Good luck Bogart. At least now you know you tried everything you could to make it work. :hugs:

 

[Disco Stu]

:hugs:

I hope it's not the kind where you bend forward, avoiding all midsection contact. Our boy needs this.

 

[Big Cat]

Toughest day of my life was when I moved out leaving the rugrats behind. Tougher on them than it was on me, though. Best wishes going through all this.

 

[iamsmilin]

:hugs:

I hope it's not the kind where you bend forward, avoiding all midsection contact. Our boy needs this.

Well it seems inappropriate at this time to do an all body jump hug where you wrap your legs around someone, so it's a lingering close hug with a little back stroking. Better?

 

[Disco Stu]

:hugs:

I hope it's not the kind where you bend forward, avoiding all midsection contact. Our boy needs this.

Well it seems inappropriate at this time to do an all body jump hug where you wrap your legs around someone, so it's a lingering close hug with a little back stroking. Better?

Yes. OK if he sniffs your hair a little?

 

[Bogart]

:hugs:

I hope it's not the kind where you bend forward, avoiding all midsection contact. Our boy needs this.

Well it seems inappropriate at this time to do an all body jump hug where you wrap your legs around someone, so it's a lingering close hug with a little back stroking. Better?

Yes. OK if he sniffs your hair a little?

Thanks GB. Always looking out for my best interest.

 

[St. Louis Bob]

:hugs:

I hope it's not the kind where you bend forward, avoiding all midsection contact. Our boy needs this.

Well it seems inappropriate at this time to do an all body jump hug where you wrap your legs around someone, so it's a lingering close hug with a little back stroking. Better?

Yes. OK if he sniffs your hair a little?

Going to be kind of tough unless he has a nose like Cyrano.Good luck Bogart. Sucks man.

 

[iamsmilin]

:hugs:

I hope it's not the kind where you bend forward, avoiding all midsection contact. Our boy needs this.

Well it seems inappropriate at this time to do an all body jump hug where you wrap your legs around someone, so it's a lingering close hug with a little back stroking. Better?

Yes. OK if he sniffs your hair a little?

Thanks GB. Always looking out for my best interest.

As long as you aren't creepy about it or overly obvious, knock yourself out.

 

[Bogart]

:hugs:

I hope it's not the kind where you bend forward, avoiding all midsection contact. Our boy needs this.

Well it seems inappropriate at this time to do an all body jump hug where you wrap your legs around someone, so it's a lingering close hug with a little back stroking. Better?

Yes. OK if he sniffs your hair a little?

Thanks GB. Always looking out for my best interest.

As long as you aren't creepy about it or overly obvious, knock yourself out.

 

[Sabertooth]

Maybe some of the divorce team on here can help, but isn't it a bad idea to move out? As far as assets splitting go I mean?

 

[Idiot Boxer]

Maybe some of the divorce team on here can help, but isn't it a bad idea to move out? As far as assets splitting go I mean?

I think a Settlement Agreement should be in place first, as much for splitting assets as it is for making sure there is no abandonment argument when it comes to custody.

 

[Funkley]

:hugs:

I hope it's not the kind where you bend forward, avoiding all midsection contact. Our boy needs this.

Well it seems inappropriate at this time to do an all body jump hug where you wrap your legs around someone, so it's a lingering close hug with a little back stroking. Better?

Yes. OK if he sniffs your hair a little?

Thanks GB. Always looking out for my best interest.

As long as you aren't creepy about it or overly obvious, knock yourself out.

He's had sex twice in a year.....I might just shake hands.

 

[Walton Goggins]

Update?

My decision has been made to file for divorce. I have set up free room and board for myself for 6 months or more to help with the transition. The goal will be to be in a place of my own before the holidays. All that is left is to sit down and have the talk with my wife. My son's birthday is today and his party was Saturday, and so I didn't want to ruin either of those days. Finding the time and place is all that is left now. I can leave with a bag of clothes just as soon as we are done, if that is her choice, and still be able to do the day to day (work, school, etc) without missing a beat.I thought it was ironic last week when we had a therapy session scheduled, and having made my decision was not super excited to go, but was ready. My wife asked to cancel at the last minute to "work on our son's birthday party." She had been off all week, but needed THIS hour to do further preparations for a party at our house.

Rooting for you Bogart

 

[Walton Goggins]

Maybe some of the divorce team on here can help, but isn't it a bad idea to move out? As far as assets splitting go I mean?

Yes, it can be. Bogart, there is no reason to do anything drastic until you consult an attorney first.

 

[Walton Goggins]

Talk to a lawyer first, don't just move out. If things DO (hope it doesn't come to that) get ugly and have to go to court they could/most likely will throw the "YOU left the children and wife" excuse. Remember it's what you can prove and while you can say she checked out and didn't care about the marriage she could say that wasn't true and they aren't going to just believe you. What they can believe is that you bailed on the wife and kids because you're selfish. This isn't the case obviously but tough to prove it.

 

[Walton Goggins]

Maybe some of the divorce team on here can help, but isn't it a bad idea to move out? As far as assets splitting go I mean?

I think a Settlement Agreement should be in place first, as much for splitting assets as it is for making sure there is no abandonment argument when it comes to custody.

I was in a different situation (where I was at the house) but my lawyers were clear that you should never move out. It can't help you and only hurt you. One of the biggest mistakes is that in most cases the father packs up and leaves thinking that's the best thing for the kids/wife but that can come back and bite you hard.

 

[geoff8695]

I think you had better heed Walton's advice in his last four posts...

If the soon to become Ex takes this as hard as I'm gonna guess she will, it wouldn't be too much of a stretch to say that she's going to use your leaving the house to the fullest advantage and perhaps vindictively mess with your parenting rights and privileges. Above all, get a good attorney and listen to their advice-not to screw your wife over, but to prevent yourself from being screwed over. There won't be any "do-overs" once you go down this path.

 

[Walton Goggins]

I think you had better heed Walton's advice in his last four posts... If the soon to become Ex takes this as hard as I'm gonna guess she will, it wouldn't be too much of a stretch to say that she's going to use your leaving the house to the fullest advantage and perhaps vindictively mess with your parenting rights and privileges. Above all, get a good attorney and listen to their advice-not to screw your wife over, but to prevent yourself from being screwed over. There won't be any "do-overs" once you go down this path.

Even if Bogart and his wife right now do not want to go through lawyers it doesn't hurt at all if Bogart on his own consults with one and gets some smart legal advice. Most consultations with good lawyers are free and some have no problems telling you what you should and should not do. There is no downside with speaking with a reputable family lawyer even if you end up not using one.

 

[WalrusMan]

:hugs:

I hope it's not the kind where you bend forward, avoiding all midsection contact. Our boy needs this.

Well it seems inappropriate at this time to do an all body jump hug where you wrap your legs around someone, so it's a lingering close hug with a little back stroking. Better?

Yes. OK if he sniffs your hair a little?

Thanks GB. Always looking out for my best interest.

As long as you aren't creepy about it or overly obvious, knock yourself out.

Can I sniff your hair too?

 

[iamsmilin]

:hugs:

I hope it's not the kind where you bend forward, avoiding all midsection contact. Our boy needs this.

Well it seems inappropriate at this time to do an all body jump hug where you wrap your legs around someone, so it's a lingering close hug with a little back stroking. Better?

Yes. OK if he sniffs your hair a little?

Thanks GB. Always looking out for my best interest.

As long as you aren't creepy about it or overly obvious, knock yourself out.

Can I sniff your hair too?

No. Your use of that smilie in this case is creepy.

 

[Bogart]

Maybe some of the divorce team on here can help, but isn't it a bad idea to move out? As far as assets splitting go I mean?

Maybe some of the divorce team on here can help, but isn't it a bad idea to move out? As far as assets splitting go I mean?

I think a Settlement Agreement should be in place first, as much for splitting assets as it is for making sure there is no abandonment argument when it comes to custody.

Maybe some of the divorce team on here can help, but isn't it a bad idea to move out? As far as assets splitting go I mean?

Yes, it can be. Bogart, there is no reason to do anything drastic until you consult an attorney first.

Talk to a lawyer first, don't just move out. If things DO (hope it doesn't come to that) get ugly and have to go to court they could/most likely will throw the "YOU left the children and wife" excuse. Remember it's what you can prove and while you can say she checked out and didn't care about the marriage she could say that wasn't true and they aren't going to just believe you. What they can believe is that you bailed on the wife and kids because you're selfish. This isn't the case obviously but tough to prove it.

I think you had better heed Walton's advice in his last four posts... If the soon to become Ex takes this as hard as I'm gonna guess she will, it wouldn't be too much of a stretch to say that she's going to use your leaving the house to the fullest advantage and perhaps vindictively mess with your parenting rights and privileges. Above all, get a good attorney and listen to their advice-not to screw your wife over, but to prevent yourself from being screwed over. There won't be any "do-overs" once you go down this path.

Thanks for the new advice guys. I am going to get council first before having "the talk". Did not even think about abandonment angle. I just figured that once I tell her, leaving would be the best thing, at least for that night. A coworker who just got divorced said she stuck around for 2 weeks after telling her husband she wanted a divorce.

 

[General Malaise]

The answer is obvious, Master Bateman.

 

[General Malaise]

best of luck to you, Bogart. I agree with your decision and know you'll find happiness on the other side. It's not going to happen overnight and you have more bad days/nights immediately ahead of you than you have good, but it sounds like your life will improve in time. I would talk to a lawyer asap. Most will give you and hour or two of consultation, so make some appointments tomorrow and get in there. If you know a lawyer, get a referral. I'm sure some of our Dallas guys can help you out.

If you ever need anything, my lines are open to you anytime.

 

[bentley]

Sorry it didn't work out, but it sounds like doing your thing. Remember, Jessica Simpson is still single, though Tony Romo may have ruined her uterus for all future mankind.

 

[Walton Goggins]

Sorry it didn't work out, but it sounds like doing your thing. Remember, Jessica Simpson is still single, though Tony Romo may have ruined her uterus for all future mankind.

Engaged to Eric Johnson

 

[bentley]

Sorry it didn't work out, but it sounds like doing your thing. Remember, Jessica Simpson is still single, though Tony Romo may have ruined her uterus for all future mankind.

Engaged to Eric Johnson

Thanks for the tip Sherlock. Engaged <> married.

 

[Walton Goggins]

Sorry it didn't work out, but it sounds like doing your thing. Remember, Jessica Simpson is still single, though Tony Romo may have ruined her uterus for all future mankind.

Engaged to Eric Johnson

Thanks for the tip Sherlock. Engaged <> married.

You got it kiddo.

 

[General Malaise]

Sorry it didn't work out, but it sounds like doing your thing. Remember, Jessica Simpson is still single, though Tony Romo may have ruined her uterus for all future mankind.

I bet he comes up short in the uterus too.

 

[Mrs. BSR]

Good luck Bogie! I agree with not moving out until you talk to an attorney first.

I'll join in on the hug if you need it.

 

[saintfool]

Sorry it didn't work out, but it sounds like doing your thing. Remember, Jessica Simpson is still single, though Tony Romo may have ruined her uterus for all future mankind.

why is this man smiling?

 

[Sabertooth]

You might want to start reading some "Game" blogs too. Just sayin.

 

[dancingbones]

Update?

My decision has been made to file for divorce. I have set up free room and board for myself for 6 months or more to help with the transition. The goal will be to be in a place of my own before the holidays. All that is left is to sit down and have the talk with my wife. My son's birthday is today and his party was Saturday, and so I didn't want to ruin either of those days. Finding the time and place is all that is left now. I can leave with a bag of clothes just as soon as we are done, if that is her choice, and still be able to do the day to day (work, school, etc) without missing a beat.I thought it was ironic last week when we had a therapy session scheduled, and having made my decision was not super excited to go, but was ready. My wife asked to cancel at the last minute to "work on our son's birthday party." She had been off all week, but needed THIS hour to do further preparations for a party at our house.

Good luck Bogart. FWIW, this random i-friend thinks you're making the right call.One of the best things to come out of my 1 1/2 years of marriage counseling was when my therapist said that people experience divorce in layers. You and your wife will experience many layers of taking apart a life that you have been building together, and you won't experience them at the same time. Same for your kids, and your families, and your friends. There is a lot of grieving to be done, and there really isn't any way to get around it - you'll have to feel the loss, forgive yourself, forgive your wife, and let it go.Definitely brighter days in your future, and I agree with the folks saying not to move out and to consult a lawyer. Good luck & if you need anything, feel free to PM. :chinup:

 

[Zegras11]

Bogart, GL Buddy! You made the right decision and I think the process you took to get there was the right thing to do.

It's tile time for you my friend

 

[urbanhack]

best of luck to you, Bogart. I agree with your decision and know you'll find happiness on the other side. It's not going to happen overnight and you have more bad days/nights immediately ahead of you than you have good, but it sounds like your life will improve in time. I would talk to a lawyer asap. Most will give you and hour or two of consultation, so make some appointments tomorrow and get in there. If you know a lawyer, get a referral. I'm sure some of our Dallas guys can help you out.If you ever need anything, my lines are open to you anytime.

As someone who's fresh off of one as well, hang tough and things will turn out great for you.

 

[Uwe Blab]

Update? Did you have the divorce talk with your wife and/or have you talked about it with your kids yet?

 

[Buck Bradcanon]

You're a good man Bogey and you'll be fine no matter how this works out.

Good luck, Bogart. #claw

 

[Bogart]

Update? Did you have the divorce talk with your wife and/or have you talked about it with your kids yet?

No talk with the wife yet. Can't see a lawyer until next week, and won't talk to her until I meet with a lawyer first. Wife just texted me saying she wants naked time very soon. It's like she can read the situation and knows exactly when she needs to break out the secks card. It's been three weeks. Too little too late.

 

[Uwe Blab]

Update? Did you have the divorce talk with your wife and/or have you talked about it with your kids yet?

No talk with the wife yet. Can't see a lawyer until next week, and won't talk to her until I meet with a lawyer first. Wife just texted me saying she wants naked time very soon. It's like she can read the situation and knows exactly when she needs to break out the secks card. It's been three weeks. Too little too late.

Gotcha...good luck and thanks for the update.

 

[culdeus]

Update? Did you have the divorce talk with your wife and/or have you talked about it with your kids yet?

No talk with the wife yet. Can't see a lawyer until next week, and won't talk to her until I meet with a lawyer first. Wife just texted me saying she wants naked time very soon. It's like she can read the situation and knows exactly when she needs to break out the secks card. It's been three weeks. Too little too late.

take it while you can

 

[eoMMan]

Update? Did you have the divorce talk with your wife and/or have you talked about it with your kids yet?

No talk with the wife yet. Can't see a lawyer until next week, and won't talk to her until I meet with a lawyer first. Wife just texted me saying she wants naked time very soon. It's like she can read the situation and knows exactly when she needs to break out the secks card. It's been three weeks. Too little too late.

You can always just take the secks and give her really, rough eff you secks.

 

[Tecumseh]

Update? Did you have the divorce talk with your wife and/or have you talked about it with your kids yet?

No talk with the wife yet. Can't see a lawyer until next week, and won't talk to her until I meet with a lawyer first. Wife just texted me saying she wants naked time very soon. It's like she can read the situation and knows exactly when she needs to break out the secks card. It's been three weeks. Too little too late.

You can always just take the secks and give her really, rough eff you secks.

 

[Bogart]

Update? Did you have the divorce talk with your wife and/or have you talked about it with your kids yet?

No talk with the wife yet. Can't see a lawyer until next week, and won't talk to her until I meet with a lawyer first. Wife just texted me saying she wants naked time very soon. It's like she can read the situation and knows exactly when she needs to break out the secks card. It's been three weeks. Too little too late.

take it while you can

Oh, I plan on it. Just find her timing to be impeccable.

 

[fatguyinalittlecoat]

Update? Did you have the divorce talk with your wife and/or have you talked about it with your kids yet?

No talk with the wife yet. Can't see a lawyer until next week, and won't talk to her until I meet with a lawyer first. Wife just texted me saying she wants naked time very soon. It's like she can read the situation and knows exactly when she needs to break out the secks card. It's been three weeks. Too little too late.

take it while you can

Oh, I plan on it. Just find her timing to be impeccable.

This seems unethical to me.

 

[IvanKaramazov]

You can always just take the secks and give her really, rough eff you secks.

I know it's youtube and therefore SFW, but there is no way in hell that I'm clicking on any link that somebody offers up in response to that post.

 

[17seconds]

Everytime I see this thread title I think of this and this

 

[Disco Stu]

Everytime I see this thread title I think of this and this

I always think of a Friends episode. Ross: Fine. Thank you for warning me. At breakfast I'll be on full alert for room-painting and sex weapons.