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Wooing my neighbor: I came. I hugged. I wooed. Now moving on. (2 Viewers)

Rooting for you Colonel Jessup!  Man, I read a few of the most recent pages, and I didn't realize what a jerk CSTU was.  Wow!

 
Nathan R. Jessep said:
The question on my mind, is, if things work out with the crush, do I tell her that the last girl I dated happens to still live next door? I'm leaning towards no unless we got into an ex discussion with details, but I guess it may not even come up, unless the lady comes to my place. 

My other option is to just move. :lol:  
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No but what you should do is parade old flame in front of Marisa, thereby making Marisa crazy jealous at which point you'll be getting multiple hugs from both chicks.

What hug horny chick could resist you in your Saints gear, hat, and cargo shorts?  None I say!

 
Nathan R. Jessep said:
:lol:  Thought about that too. I don't think we'll have to cross that bridge. I think the amazing physical chemistry might have been part of what was causing the conflict for her. But she put her walls back up now, so I don't think she will be calling on my services any time soon. It sucks, because she's easily the hottest woman I've ever been with to date. but can't win 'em all. 
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FYP

 
Nathan R. Jessep said:
:goodposting:   Absolutely. And I wonder if maybe her seeing someone else might even help her to appreciate what she and I had.  I know it's also possible that I overestimated what we had. But at least for me, it was pretty epic, and by my estimation, it was rather rare. I've analyzed the #### out of all this over the last month. Shed a few tears, had a bunch of beers, confided in some friends, and thought about this from every possible angle. I'm at peace with it now. And I know that in the long run, if things don't work out, it is, almost without fail, for the best in the end. 
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so, i've been married for 22 years, happily.

in the beginning, when I met her in college, we dated a few times and then she broke it off, said she didn't want a boyfriend.   Ok, so i just went forward because at that point I really liked her but i also had a lot of other options and didn't care too much.   2 months later she calls me and says what are you doing this weekend?   she spends the weekend at my apartment, now apparently she wants a boyfriend so we start dating and it gets very serious very quickly after that.    2 yrs later we break up, we were engaged to be married and broke it off.   I moved away, got a job and dated lots of different gals.  I was still in love with my ex but that went away as I was starting my career and had many different girls for about 2 years.   one day, i get a call, its my ex.  She says i'm going to be in town this particular week do you want to go to lunch?  Sure, I say.   Well it ended up being a 3 hr lunch that ended at her dads house in her old bedroom.    We immediately start dating again, i mean its obvious we still love each other.    about a year later we got married.    I still feel that way about her today, after 4 kids and 28 years of knowing her.   

the moral of the story being if its meant to be, it will happen.    If not, don't fret it.

 
tommyboy said:
so, i've been married for 22 years, happily.

in the beginning, when I met her in college, we dated a few times and then she broke it off, said she didn't want a boyfriend.   Ok, so i just went forward because at that point I really liked her but i also had a lot of other options and didn't care too much.   2 months later she calls me and says what are you doing this weekend?   she spends the weekend at my apartment, now apparently she wants a boyfriend so we start dating and it gets very serious very quickly after that.    2 yrs later we break up, we were engaged to be married and broke it off.   I moved away, got a job and dated lots of different gals.  I was still in love with my ex but that went away as I was starting my career and had many different girls for about 2 years.   one day, i get a call, its my ex.  She says i'm going to be in town this particular week do you want to go to lunch?  Sure, I say.   Well it ended up being a 3 hr lunch that ended at her dads house in her old bedroom.    We immediately start dating again, i mean its obvious we still love each other.    about a year later we got married.    I still feel that way about her today, after 4 kids and 28 years of knowing her.   

the moral of the story being if its meant to be, it will happen.    If not, don't fret it.
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That's awesome, thanks for sharing.  I have done my share of fretting. Stayed home from work one day, got drunk and watched the entire Luke Cage series. :lol:  Did a lot of reading, got some outside perspectives, and did some self-analysis. But as I said, I'm at peace with it now, and confident that it's for the best. And if she still has feelings for me behind those walls, then maybe I'll get that call some day. If not, then it was best to move on now for both of us. Live and learn.. 

 
Nathan R. Jessep said:
I've hesitated to come back in here for a bit, because I was a little down for a while. I wish I had a happier ending for you guys...

We've decided to go our separate ways. Mostly her, but looking back I think it's for the best. I think she realized she just wasn't ready for a relationship in general. She is very guarded, and she has very valid reasons for it. But she was nothing less than honest and open with me about it, so for that I am grateful. She still kinda broke my heart though. But I know things can't be forced. We are still in contact, although it is usually just short and sweet texts.  And no, before someone suggests it, she's not seeing someone else. At least not yet. lol  If that's what she wants though, I wish her nothing but the best, as all I wish is for her to be happy. I do still care about her greatly and I miss her, and I also miss her kids who I bonded with too of course.  

As for me, one day a few weeks ago, when I was feeling kind of down about all this, and wallowing in self-pity, I got a text out of the blue from a chick I had a crush on a couple years ago that I lost contact with, saying that she'd like to catch up. We've been to lunch, and are in talks to hang out again soon. It won't be threadworthy, but it will certainly help me. 

Lastly, I appreciate everyone who joined in the journey here, you certainly kept it fun for me.  

Happy New Year to you all, GBs. 
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So I guess the sequel to this would be:

Woo Two?

 
One door closes and another one opens. Things that are meant to be, will be. Like this last relationship, let things flow naturally. Enjoy the time you have with everyone you care about. Best to you for 2017 my friend. :)

 
The ex that lives next door, who took the breakup well. That's you.

That guy will always get some free hugs later.

Look for the random text in the future: "What are you doing?"

That text will be followed by some furious hugging.

 
Do NOT tell the new one about the old one. Burn that bridge if and when you come to it. If an awkward exchange occurs in the future, deal with it then. If it comes to that, be casual about it. Leave the new one with the impression that any single woman within arm's reach cannot resist the siren's song of your boner. That can only enhance your chances of using your battering ram to break down the new girl's tonsils on Marisa's front lawn. Which will then make Marisa jealous that she's missing out on the thunderputz and drive her back to you. If you play this right, you could end up with an "odd/even numbered days" situation which should clearly be your end game here. 

 
Evilgrin 72 said:
Do NOT tell the new one about the old one. Burn that bridge if and when you come to it. If an awkward exchange occurs in the future, deal with it then. If it comes to that, be casual about it. Leave the new one with the impression that any single woman within arm's reach cannot resist the siren's song of your boner. That can only enhance your chances of using your battering ram to break down the new girl's tonsils on Marisa's front lawn. Which will then make Marisa jealous that she's missing out on the thunderputz and drive her back to you. If you play this right, you could end up with an "odd/even numbered days" situation which should clearly be your end game here. 
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None of that sounds very romantic or gentlemanly.

 
Meanwhile, over at the Purse Forum FFA...

Uruk High-Heels:  You made the right move Mona Lisa.  It was the Saints Jersey that told me he was a loser.

Still Ditkaless: Maybe this will bring CST-Uterus out of hiding.

CougarClub: Now that you are single, I suggest heading over to Ministry of Labor Pain's weekly "Match.com strategies to Exploit/Avoid this weekend" thread.

SWC-Section: This breakup has all the markings of a messy fight the first time you have a man friend over to service you I would expect Colonel Jessup to barge into your house like Woody Harrelson in the first season of True Detective which was filmed just South of your location and him violently demanding to know intimate details of the man-friend's servicing of you and you can take that to the mall, Missy. 

 
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worrierking said:
Meanwhile, over at the Purse Forum FFA...

Uruk High-Heels:  You made the right move Mona Lisa.  It was the Saints Jersey that told me he was a loser.

Still Ditkaless: Maybe this will bring CST-Uterus out of hiding.

CougarClub: Now that you are single, I suggest heading over to Ministry of Labor Pain's weekly "Match.com strategies to Exploit/Avoid this weekend" thread.

SWC-Section: This breakup has all the markings of a messy fight the first time you have a man friend over to service you I would expect Colonel Jessup to barge into your house like Woody Harrelson in the first season of True Detective which was filmed just South of your location and him violently demanding to know intimate details of the man-friend's servicing of you and you can take that to the mall, Missy. 
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6.5 / 10   

Not bad.  

 
Nathan R. Jessep said:
I still have feelings for her, but she has been abundantly clear that she just cannot do a relationship right now. As we were in final discussions, I made my feelings known to her in no uncertain terms, and told her that I understood and respected her feelings as well. I think I would come across as needy and/or desperate if I tried to push it right now. We ended on good terms, so that always leaves possibilities open for the future, but I can't hang onto that. I gave her my everything, honestly, and if that's not enough for her, then (a) we're just not a good match or (b) she's truly just not in a place to accept love and be in a serious relationship. Either way, if she's not feeling it, I want to move on to someone who will appreciate what I have to offer. :shrug:  If nothing else, this whole thing taught me that I do want to find someone to share life with again. For a while, I didn't. They say every significant person in your life is there for a reason. Maybe this was her reason for being in my life. Or maybe there'll be another chapter to this tale one day. Either way, I'm grateful for the time I had with her. 
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Dude...you used the "L" word with her, didn't you?  After like a month?  No wonder she bolted.  

 
Willie Neslon said:
First of all, the "I just can't be in a relationship right now" line is bull####. That's just a line used to let someone down gently. I apologize for sounding harsh but what she really means is that she wasn't into the relationship with you. The second she comes across something or someone that stirs her she'll magically and instantly be ready for a relationship. Second, the relationship didn't end on "good" terms, it ended on her terms. She's completely in control here. I don't know how much damage has been done since the breakup but I don't believe it's too late to flip the script. The obvious first step is to cut off contact. It's tough with living right next to her but you have to do this if you want any shot of getting her back. She needs to believe 100% that you've moved on. Then and only then will she consider that she made a mistake. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Don't be the sweet sap broken hearted neighbor who wishes her all the best, exchanges lighthearted texts with her. Time to be a ####. If you do run into her the interaction has to be as short as possible, preferably a wave, a smile and that's it.

I'm really sorry you're in this place. I know it sucks, I've been there. You can absolutely still get this girl back if you play this right. Hear me know, believe me later. This isn't the movies. Being the good guy will not get her back.
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This is 100% accurate. Sorry to hear about the breakup but you were always too close to being in the friend zone.

Have fun do your own thing and maybe you will get some late night Woo-ty Calls from her when she realizes she screwed up.

 
worrierking said:
Meanwhile, over at the Purse Forum FFA...

Uruk High-Heels:  You made the right move Mona Lisa.  It was the Saints Jersey that told me he was a loser.

Still Ditkaless: Maybe this will bring CST-Uterus out of hiding.

CougarClub: Now that you are single, I suggest heading over to Ministry of Labor Pain's weekly "Match.com strategies to Exploit/Avoid this weekend" thread.

SWC-Section: This breakup has all the markings of a messy fight the first time you have a man friend over to service you I would expect Colonel Jessup to barge into your house like Woody Harrelson in the first season of True Detective which was filmed just South of your location and him violently demanding to know intimate details of the man-friend's servicing of you and you can take that to the mall, Missy. 
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:lmao: :cry:

 
proninja said:
After my divorce I had a few month fling with someone who sounds similar to Marissa. I was the one who was adamant I didn't want a relationship, and she did, so she ended it after a bit when she met a guy who did want something more than a casual fling. That's what made me realize that perhaps I did actually want a relationship, and I met my now-wife shortly thereafter. 

She ended up marrying the other guy, and now we are couple friends. 
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Like foursome stuff?

 
proninja said:
I generally try to avoid hugs when other dudes are involved. 
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stand on his side for the half hug, leaving full frontal hugs for the wimmenz.  That's like getting 1 to 4 odds that something very good will happen for you.

 
Nathan R. Jessep said:
Oh, I know and I don't disagree with any of that. I told her as much when she first said the relationship line. She said it wasn't that simple. To me, it is. You either want to be with someone or you don't. They either do it for you or they don't. So, yep, I've scaled contact back to virtually nothing, and probably won't contact her again. Hopefully this other thing will work out. As for getting her back, meh. Like I said, I am believing more and more it's for the best. If she were to have a change of heart in the future, then depending on where I was at that point, maybe we could take a look at things. She'll always have a special place in my heart, I'm sure. But it would be unfair to myself to just wait around wondering "what if." Onward and upward. 
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I think the only solution is to move

 
Sorry it didn't work out.  You seem like a great guy, all that Saints gear notwithstanding, and I'm certain something even better is going to come along. :)

 
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